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Cant say "Why Bother Dating" but is it really worth the bother?


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Yeah, that’s horrible. I had 2 live in exes and same thing happened with both.

 

On the bright side, I don’t think that’s the norm. This is a symptom of a settling relationship where parties are super insecure in each other because the only thing that get them ‘coupled’ is the excessive time spend together. At least in my cases this was the case.

 

Probably a bit of both. The ex that I lived with, he was the type that wanted to be together constantly. I never had space to be alone and we worked the same hours. I would often stay up late, after he falls a sleep just to get some space. That meant I was constantly sleep deprived (still had to get up early for work). Talking to him didn't help, he saw a relationship as "being together 24/7" and refused to consider anything else. Generally my experience with men was that I am expected to about 99% of the compromising or it doesn't work.

 

When that relationship ended, I felt like I have just been released from prison :D

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No.. This is a gross over-generalization and exaggeration. Yes, there are guys out there that are looking to get laid early but there are just as many that are perfectly willing to take it slowly.

 

I don't know what kind of approach you are taking to dating but you need to re-examine it if you've been running into these guys, every single date, for twelve years.

 

For me, its not been an exaggeration.

 

Well, im not doing anything to make them think i want to have sex asap. I dont go on dates acting seductively.

 

I used to think it was pof. I am out there meeting total strangers. Maybe for example if i were dating a friend of the family, he would be less aggressive.

 

See, this is the strain i have to go through just to meet a potential bf. It gets old.

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Probably a bit of both. The ex that I lived with, he was the type that wanted to be together constantly. I never had space to be alone and we worked the same hours. I would often stay up late, after he falls a sleep just to get some space. That meant I was constantly sleep deprived (still had to get up early for work). Talking to him didn't help, he saw a relationship as "being together 24/7" and refused to consider anything else. Generally my experience with men was that I am expected to about 99% of the compromising or it doesn't work.

 

When that relationship ended, I felt like I have just been released from prison :D

 

That's an absolute nightmare. That's kind of how my relationship went. I think they often turn out this way.

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For me, its not been an exaggeration.

 

Well, im not doing anything to make them think i want to have sex asap. I dont go on dates acting seductively.

 

I used to think it was pof. I am out there meeting total strangers. Maybe for example if i were dating a friend of the family, he would be less aggressive.

 

See, this is the strain i have to go through just to meet a potential bf. It gets old.

 

Well, I hate to be abrasive but you're the common denominator after twelve years of dating and so many bad dating experiences. In all honesty, it sounds like you are being drawn towards a certain type of profile/guy if you're just using OLD. Yes, you will probably have better dating experiences if you're dating guys in RL as OLD can be a meat market. But, I would certainly suggest you reevaluate your boundaries when dating; going over to a guy's house straight off of the bat is a bad and dangerous idea.

 

I have a friend who was sexually assaulted when she just went to drop some soup off at a guy's house that she had just met. He was sick, she just intended to drop the soup off and leave but she ended up inside his house for whatever reason and assaulted ten minutes later. I just found all of this out last night.

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Well, I hate to be abrasive but you're the common denominator after twelve years of dating and so many bad dating experiences. In all honesty, it sounds like you are being drawn towards a certain type of profile/guy if you're just using OLD. Yes, you will probably have better dating experiences if you're dating guys in RL as OLD can be a meat market. But, I would certainly suggest you reevaluate your boundaries when dating; going over to a guy's house straight off of the bat is a bad and dangerous idea.

 

I have a friend who was sexually assaulted when she just went to drop some soup off at a guy's house that she had just met. He was sick, she just intended to drop the soup off and leave but she ended up inside his house for whatever reason and assaulted ten minutes later. I just found all of this out last night.

 

 

100% agree. saying that all men are dangerous and sex craved makes me believe she is the common denominator.

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IMO, if feeling the need to prepare a balance sheet regarding the pros and cons of dating, it isn't worth the bother. Do something else that feels valuable and productive and doesn't require the big brain doing an accounting exercise.

 

Having done all that stuff, after getting divorced I didn't feel like dating so haven't. No indictment of women at all. I loved being married and still generally like women. No interest in dating though so I go with that.

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Well, I hate to be abrasive but you're the common denominator after twelve years of dating and so many bad dating experiences. In all honesty, it sounds like you are being drawn towards a certain type of profile/guy if you're just using OLD. Yes, you will probably have better dating experiences if you're dating guys in RL as OLD can be a meat market. But, I would certainly suggest you reevaluate your boundaries when dating; going over to a guy's house straight off of the bat is a bad and dangerous idea.

 

I have a friend who was sexually assaulted when she just went to drop some soup off at a guy's house that she had just met. He was sick, she just intended to drop the soup off and leave but she ended up inside his house for whatever reason and assaulted ten minutes later. I just found all of this out last night.

I dont go over to a mans hoise unless i want sex nowadays. In fact, im not alone with a man at all if i dont want him. Bank sex dude is a good example. Sex doesnt have to happen at a house.

 

Even besides that, most nen still ask for the sex. They waste my time by taking me on a date. Im so fone with mo ie in ites and invitations to cook for me. Id probably hang up or leave on the spot.

 

I dont go on dayes acting sexual or super flirty. I dont act in ways that scream i want to have sex.

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