No_Go Posted October 6, 2017 Share Posted October 6, 2017 What would you guys advise me to do on Sunday? I speak a bit Dutch, but am afraid it may be awkward, since the mom does not speak any English, and there may be communication barriers. Gosh I am so nervous. Don't be nervous, your guy will translate if need be, body language is powerful enough. My first BF was a Latin guy, his family speaked no English, and me - no Spanish. In our 2 weeks trip to his country I created a very strong bond with them - it is shocking how powerful nonverbal communication can be. Although this guy is long gone from my life and was an a**hole, it always makes me happy when some of his family members reach out for birthdays, Christmas etc. Just go with the flow. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavenonearth Posted October 9, 2017 Author Share Posted October 9, 2017 Just a little update, I did meet his parents yesterday, along with the rest of the family (sister plus husband and three kids, brother plus girlfriend, and parents). It was very chill. Since it was an event they organized, the focus was not on me, and I wasn't grilled the whole time. It was a good idea of my guy to do a first meeting this way, I didn't have as much anxiety as I thought I would have. They invited me for a family outing next weekend which, coincidentally, is at a place in my city, so that should be fun. Nice people. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Steve51 Posted October 9, 2017 Share Posted October 9, 2017 I have been in 3 relationships and never declared anything. It was just assumed based on our expressions of love and living with each other. I lived in a poly triad with my wife and a girlfriend we shared for 30 years and as hard as it is to believe, we never spoke about it or named it. To us it was just our normal life. I think that you just know if you are in a relationship and if you need to declare it, something is missing. You may know because you live together, never date anyone else or spend most of your free time together. No one mentions dating anyone else. What more do you need to know you are in a relationship? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 I have been in 3 relationships and never declared anything. It was just assumed based on our expressions of love and living with each other. I lived in a poly triad with my wife and a girlfriend we shared for 30 years and as hard as it is to believe, we never spoke about it or named it. To us it was just our normal life. I think that you just know if you are in a relationship and if you need to declare it, something is missing. You may know because you live together, never date anyone else or spend most of your free time together. No one mentions dating anyone else. What more do you need to know you are in a relationship? I assume you are 51 Steve? I am also 51 and nowadays is not like in our days when we were in our 20s and 30s. Time has changed a great deal since the online dating phenomenon started. I spent 3 years online in my late 40s and I assure you you better have this conversation or you'll end up having many sad stories like I did. Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted October 10, 2017 Share Posted October 10, 2017 Maybe it's a generational thing for me as well (or cultural), but I don't really get this. You guys are exclusive and you say you love each other. I'm not sure some official declaration of "relationship" is needed. I'd say from the relationship you describe the next step would be living together and or engagement, which you guys may be too early for. So I don't see what the problem is. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavenonearth Posted October 11, 2017 Author Share Posted October 11, 2017 Maybe it's a generational thing for me as well (or cultural), but I don't really get this. You guys are exclusive and you say you love each other. I'm not sure some official declaration of "relationship" is needed. I'd say from the relationship you describe the next step would be living together and or engagement, which you guys may be too early for. So I don't see what the problem is. I think mainly because he has said that it is an important label for him that means a lot. I don't know what steps there are for him in order to be confident that this is a relationship. We haven't talked about it in a few weeks. However, last weekend when I met his family, he did introduce me as his girlfriend to his nephews and nieces. He said "do you know who this is? That's your uncles girlfriend." ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavenonearth Posted October 13, 2017 Author Share Posted October 13, 2017 I have been in 3 relationships and never declared anything. It was just assumed based on our expressions of love and living with each other. I lived in a poly triad with my wife and a girlfriend we shared for 30 years and as hard as it is to believe, we never spoke about it or named it. To us it was just our normal life. I think that you just know if you are in a relationship and if you need to declare it, something is missing. You may know because you live together, never date anyone else or spend most of your free time together. No one mentions dating anyone else. What more do you need to know you are in a relationship? Well we have been dating only each other for several months, but I believe that is "exclusivity", not a relationship. Living together is something you do years down the road, I believe one should be in a relationship way before deciding to move in together. And yes we spend most of our free time together but if he says he can't call me his "girlfriend" just yet, then what can I say!? I don't think anything is missing. I think everything is pretty much perfect. So I got no clue. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavenonearth Posted October 16, 2017 Author Share Posted October 16, 2017 We went on a day trip with his family (parents, sister + husband and 3 kids, brother + girlfriend) yesterday. Once we parted with them, the two of us spent the evening with dinner at the beach and then took a walk in the city and had drinks at a bar where we met a bunch of people and chatted with the bartender. It was just overall a very fun-packed day. When we got home, we shared a bottle of wine and danced around and cuddled and kissed, and then he said "I have to ask you something!" and I said "Yes?" and he said "Can I please be your boyfriend? Please?" It was hilarious. He was teary eyed, said that he loves me so much and that he is so happy with me. An amazing day and a even better night! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyRose Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 (edited) We went on a day trip with his family (parents, sister + husband and 3 kids, brother + girlfriend) yesterday. Once we parted with them, the two of us spent the evening with dinner at the beach and then took a walk in the city and had drinks at a bar where we met a bunch of people and chatted with the bartender. It was just overall a very fun-packed day. When we got home, we shared a bottle of wine and danced around and cuddled and kissed, and then he said "I have to ask you something!" and I said "Yes?" and he said "Can I please be your boyfriend? Please?" It was hilarious. He was teary eyed, said that he loves me so much and that he is so happy with me. An amazing day and a even better night! Awww yayyy a happy story! There you go..... That was totally amazing. I'm still waiting for the ILY from mine , errrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr........ Last he was here with me (last week) he told me in the car after I picked him from the airport that he got the weirdest fortune cookie ever. So i asked what it was and why it was weird. He said the cookie said open your heart for new love. I was speechless and all I could do was let out a soft moan/grunt. Then the following night while we were getting ready to go out he asked, "are you ready my love?" I just casually answered not yet. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.......... Anyway, I'm happy for you that things are going great. Keep your fingers crossed for me, lol. Edited October 16, 2017 by LovelyRose Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted October 16, 2017 Share Posted October 16, 2017 We went on a day trip with his family (parents, sister + husband and 3 kids, brother + girlfriend) yesterday. Once we parted with them, the two of us spent the evening with dinner at the beach and then took a walk in the city and had drinks at a bar where we met a bunch of people and chatted with the bartender. It was just overall a very fun-packed day. When we got home, we shared a bottle of wine and danced around and cuddled and kissed, and then he said "I have to ask you something!" and I said "Yes?" and he said "Can I please be your boyfriend? Please?" It was hilarious. He was teary eyed, said that he loves me so much and that he is so happy with me. An amazing day and a even better night! aaawwww how romantic !! Link to post Share on other sites
Cookiesandough Posted October 18, 2017 Share Posted October 18, 2017 it's nice to hear happy resolutions to situations like this (person not ready to label or claim it a relationship) and it finally works out. Happy for you ! Link to post Share on other sites
Author heavenonearth Posted October 26, 2017 Author Share Posted October 26, 2017 it's nice to hear happy resolutions to situations like this (person not ready to label or claim it a relationship) and it finally works out. Happy for you ! Just saw your reply to this. thanks Cookiesanddough! I am super happy too! And we are very happy right now. Still working around this barrier of meeting friends (i just posted a thread about it)... but... other than that, we are more in love with each other every time we see each other. It's really beautiful how things are progressing!! I run my own business and mentioned to him that I really can't figure out how to make a nice letterhead. The same day I could not reach him in the evening, and I was actually worried about it. Last night he came over and got out his laptop and gave me a keynote presentation about a design he came up with for my letterhead and businesscards!! That's what he was working on that night! (He is an art director). I was moved to tears. Really sweet! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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