No_Go Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Yeah. I tried the 'no common interests' route with my ex and it worn me off to no end. He liked going to church, group sports, TV shows, organized trips. I like more philosophical approach to spirituality, exploring aimlessly the outdoors and wildlife, science, random walks. In the moment I moved out I stayed TV-free ever since. Also never looked back to his church circles & sports teams. Now, did I learn to enjoy some new things with him? Sure. But it was a hell of a stretch to me to accommodate and it worn off the relationship quickly. It is just so much more natural to spend time with someone that you share common interests with. Otherwise it quickly turns into food/sex/sleep/social functions/chores and not much else... I will never again be in a relationship with someone whom we have nothing in common. I have known both, I have known being married to a man who did not share any of my interests, and didn't care to discover them, we spent almost 0 time together and after 15 years we had 0 memories to cherish. Now I am in a relationship with a man with whom I have tons of common interests with and there isn't enough time for us to do everything we want to do together!! There is absolutely noway I would go back with being with someone sharing no common interests. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Every guy knows you don't want your woman to know about your hobbies so they don't give you any shyt when you spend money on it,,,,:laugh: TFY 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Every guy knows you don't want your woman to know about your hobbies so they don't give you any shyt when you spend money on it,,,,:laugh: TFY I just hijack his computer equipment before he can get to them. Mine now! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Yeah. I tried the 'no common interests' route with my ex and it worn me off to no end. He liked going to church, group sports, TV shows, organized trips. I like more philosophical approach to spirituality, exploring aimlessly the outdoors and wildlife, science, random walks. In the moment I moved out I stayed TV-free ever since. Also never looked back to his church circles & sports teams. Now, did I learn to enjoy some new things with him? Sure. But it was a hell of a stretch to me to accommodate and it worn off the relationship quickly. It is just so much more natural to spend time with someone that you share common interests with. Otherwise it quickly turns into food/sex/sleep/social functions/chores and not much else... Are you sure those aren't lifestyle differences? I agree that lifestyles need to be common. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
coolheadal Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Common shared interest topics Playing or watching Sports How many here into that? I am not a fan of baseball, basketball, football (f I play major leagues lol football). Play tennis have a pair I drive around endlessly with me always how many women have interest in that none. They say they have lower back pain had all sorts of issues. Playing Cards or Domino's I can play a mean game of porker, blackjack or domino's most women can't play anything. This is not ice breaker for me if they can't do this. Cooking I can cook anything but I cook healthier, sure would be nice if the woman I am interested in can cook food as well. Even enjoys cooking food. Those that tell me they can cook but don't enjoy cooking is very sad to hear. They rater go out to eat. Music Heck yeah, might show some of you how to dance like the 70's or today music but yes we should enjoy listening to music together. I play drums with a group of other drum players. Fun we draw huge crowds. I usually take my dates to this Drum Circle and I can see if she is into it or not. Movies, TV etc.. Sure we both not going to watch Dr. Phil, Judge Matthews, Price is Right, Supernatural, Games of Thrones (I have never watched by the way lol) These are the basics, most like to read a book most don't. Some women are lazy they don't like cleaning the house. I keep my house clean, well too clean but I do. I use robots to clean here LOL. I don't want to vacuum ever again. I don't want to mop the floors like "aka Sally the robot do that" She's the iRobot Scomba odd name but she does the floors really good. I live a busy life I am always on the move. i enjoy a few other things too. Vehicle detailing she doesn't have to be into that. I like to keep them like new always. I do DIY here also Do it yourself projects. How many women here like to go to the amusement park and get behind the wheel of go kart and race their man around the track. Or even play arcade video games with even at home. Again they don't have too do all this but they could makes it easy to have fun. Sex everyone going to have that urge and fun if you don't then oh boy there goes that activity down the drain. Your partner should have fun with you then why are you together then. Don't say just having kids. Should be happy and in love with each other at any age. I believe to have fun always otherwise not a fun relationship. I going away in 2 weeks I won't be on LS while I gone.. But I'll be back to answer questions an such but this trip for me and my new gf to have fun take her to places she never been too and some places I never been to either. Should be fun, I should say it will be fun.. LOL We all have different ideas about common shared interest but in all we have one thing in common love, sex, and each other company.. Have fun everyone and be happy! Smile too.. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I will never again be in a relationship with someone whom we have nothing in common. I have known both, I have known being married to a man who did not share any of my interests, and didn't care to discover them, we spent almost 0 time together and after 15 years we had 0 memories to cherish. Now I am in a relationship with a man with whom I have tons of common interests with and there isn't enough time for us to do everything we want to do together!! There is absolutely noway I would go back with being with someone sharing no common interests. To add to this, no we don't need to like all-of-the-same-things. We can both have our own interests but I believe a couple should definitely have several common interests. My BF is a big sports fan, I could not care less about it and I won't force myself to sit through 4 hours of soccer. That's normal we cannot like everything the same but there has to be something that unites us in what we enjoy. We both love the outdoors, traveling to new places, spending time with friends and family, we love board games, movies, etc and what we have in common represents 80% of what we do. Lucky me soccer comes only once a year :-) If I look at my parents they have maybe 10% of common interests. She spends her time traveling to visit us kids and grand kids my dad hates traveling, she loves games and casinos and concerts and he hates it, and the list goes on. My dad's favorite activity is hunting. From July to November his entire time is spent in the woods feeding deer and preparing his hunting territory. Honestly I said 10% of common interests but I cannot even name you 1 thing my parents do together. My dad a good man with a good heart but my mom has been un-happy in silence for years and years. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jkeefer928 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I agree that common interests and hobbies, at least to an extent, are critical for a successful relationship. There is no way I'd want to be with a man that didn't share at least some of my core interests and goals. Now, I'm not sure if the Ladder Theory mentioned earlier is that accurate, but I'd agree that it is at least roughly correct. Sex is pretty much 90% of it for guys, while for the ladies it is much more important for personalities and interests to match. And I've known this from pretty much the 7th or 8th grade. That is why I don't think women should give the men what they are looking for at the time - sex, until you are sure that they can give you or have what you are looking for - a successful relationship. I've seen many of my friends stuck in relationships with guys they have nothing in common with just because they got pregnant or even just had sex too early on. So knowing this about men I think is what has made me technically a virgin at 22. I say 'technically' because I've experimented with everything except actual intercourse with my current bf. I've been waiting for about a year now to make sure we have enough in common, but fortunately our compatibility is becoming obvious enough now that I'm very close to letting him replace my worn out sex toys, lol Link to post Share on other sites
Usename12 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Hobbies are one thing but interests are another. I like sports and if a woman doesn't, no worries. I have a lot of hobbies many women don't like. But if someone doesn't like going out to dinner, seeing movies, traveling, and just sharing interest on anything I like to do, I don't even know how we'd progress beyond a few dates. And I've known women who don't like a lot of the aforementioned. They don't like Hollywood superficiality, they don't like the restaurant industry, they think vacations are wasteful, they want to "save the world", etc. Seriously, I'm curious, for those who say they don't need anything in common, how did you guys even get passed a few dates? What are those conversations like? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 That's kinda tough to get a lot of the same hobbies between a men and a women. I, much like a lot of other men have hobbies that most women aren't into. Craft beer, MMA, firearms. As of lately I've been building up the sound system and accessories in my car. For example, I have 2 10" woofers powered by an SSL amplifier. I'm looking to get custom box in the back. Any ladies know anything about this? Other than cycling, I don't see a whole lot of extracurriculars crossing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Are you sure those aren't lifestyle differences? I agree that lifestyles need to be common. I guess the two overlap? I mean your interests drive your lifestyle choices? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Unlike women, most men I know are not searching for things they can do together with their SOs. They are gonna do their thing & it's OK if she wants to come along but not needed. Sometimes they don't want women there. Many men I know don't like to play golf with women, for instance. It's there time with the boys. Men are generally content of if their GFs or wives don't try to preclude them from enjoying their hobbies. One of my EXs loved to fish. I hate fish & fishing yet I'd go with him because I enjoyed sitting by the water, being outside, getting some sun & reading a book. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 That's kinda tough to get a lot of the same hobbies between a men and a women. I, much like a lot of other men have hobbies that most women aren't into. Craft beer, MMA, firearms. What are women's interests? The women I know don't have too many interests. Women seem to socialize whenever they can. Art seems to be big amongst some, as does getting dressed up and talking pictures of themselves and posting them on Facebook. Dogs are also big. I think men general have more 'hobbies' because they can be more anti-social. If I was single, I could barely speak to people for like weeks at a time outside of work. I'd have my own stuff to keep me occupied. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Some things can be enjoyable to do together...This is awesome.. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jExtStnnoU0 TFY Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 What are women's interests? The women I know don't have too many interests. Women seem to socialize whenever they can. Art seems to be big amongst some, as does getting dressed up and talking pictures of themselves and posting them on Facebook. Dogs are also big. I think men general have more 'hobbies' because they can be more anti-social. If I was single, I could barely speak to people for like weeks at a time outside of work. I'd have my own stuff to keep me occupied. This is a good point. The interests and hobbies of my current girlfriend are just going out to eat at different restaurants with her friends and traveling. Two things I would happily do with her. She also seems to love reality TV, me not so much I can't say she has any other interests and hobbies. Link to post Share on other sites
Shepp Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Different strokes for different folks and all but its massively important to me... She doesnt have to LOVE everything i love but like there are key things that are important to me, if she isnt outdoorsy if she doesnt enjoy physical pursuits, if she doesnt at least understand how important my sport is to me, then we are literally going to have nothing in common I just wouldnt be interested in a relationship like that! (That said i know plenty of guys - maybe more guys - that just wouldnt care, but i for sure do) Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 What are women's interests? The women I know don't have too many interests. Women seem to socialize whenever they can. Art seems to be big amongst some, as does getting dressed up and talking pictures of themselves and posting them on Facebook. Dogs are also big. I think men general have more 'hobbies' because they can be more anti-social. If I was single, I could barely speak to people for like weeks at a time outside of work. I'd have my own stuff to keep me occupied. For this woman? Photography, genealogy, history, steampunk cosplay, goth clubbing, currently planning chickens and vege garden beds, and loving a small parrot named Steve. And I also sew anything from quilts to Victorian corsets. The women you know sound a bit boring. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 (edited) What are women's interests? The women I know don't have too many interests. Women seem to socialize whenever they can. Art seems to be big amongst some, as does getting dressed up and talking pictures of themselves and posting them on Facebook. Dogs are also big. I think men general have more 'hobbies' because they can be more anti-social. If I was single, I could barely speak to people for like weeks at a time outside of work. I'd have my own stuff to keep me occupied. Well there's also animal rescue. That's a really good one, but I have to say that's not something I volunteer for. Just some sh*t that keeps finding me, some type of way. Some times interests in sports over lap. Regarding men having more hobbies. If I'm not preoccupied with friends and family or if I have time off work. I start to not only thinknow, but obsess over things. In the past couple of weeks I've spent hours looking at car stereos. I can tell you the difference between all the pioneer brand car stereos, what this one does, that the other doesn't. Even what the little numbers means. Why so much as of lately? Well I didn't have time to sit, Google questions and read, watch YouTube. Also socioeconomics play a big part in this. You'll see more well off people with more hobbies and others just trying to get by. Edited August 23, 2017 by jay1983 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 For this woman? Photography, genealogy, history, steampunk cosplay, goth clubbing, currently planning chickens and vege garden beds, and loving a small parrot named Steve. And I also sew anything from quilts to Victorian corsets. The women you know sound a bit boring. To be fair, I don't think most guys have that many hobbies either. But guys tend to be geekier and more antisocial, so are more apt to spend hours sitting in a room doing 'something'. It's also what you're into. If you like sitting in a room all day watching TV, more power to you. Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 Well there's also animal rescue. That's a really good one, but I have to say that's not something I volunteer for. Just some sh*t that keeps finding me, some type of way. Some times interests in sports over lap. Regarding men having more hobbies. If I'm not preoccupied with friends and family or if I have time off work. I start to not only thinknow, but obsess over things. In the past couple of weeks I've spent hours looking at car stereos. I can tell you the difference between all the pioneer brand car stereos, what this one does, that the other doesn't. Even what the little numbers means. Why so much as of lately? Well I didn't have time to sit, Google questions and read, watch YouTube. Also socioeconomics play a big part in this. You'll see more well off people with more hobbies and others just trying to get by. We volunteer but I don't really consider that a hobby. More of an activity. Link to post Share on other sites
basil67 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 To be fair, I don't think most guys have that many hobbies either. But guys tend to be geekier and more antisocial, so are more apt to spend hours sitting in a room doing 'something'. It's also what you're into. If you like sitting in a room all day watching TV, more power to you. Does sport count as a hobby? If so, sport and socialising/drinking were pretty much my husband's hobbies when we met. When his midlife crisis happened, he started learning guitar and bass. Excellent hobbies to have. I don't know how people manage without hobbies. I need to be constantly learning a new thing in order to keep my brain working. Then again, I am a carer so I don't have the luxury of work to keep my brain functioning. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I don't know if I'd call work a luxury. What you do instead sounds more like a luxury. Link to post Share on other sites
Bastile Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I'd say that, at a base level of attraction, men couldn't give a monkey's uncle for a woman's interests or hobbies. For me, it's been a process of refinement - something that has come with abundance. I really miss the artist girls that I was seeing last year - challenged me in interesting ways. I grew personally a lot from that. I miss the European immigrant girls that I was seeing whilst Brexit was happening. I was completely honest with them about my pro-independence views, and they were open to me about their obvious pro-EU views. A very interesting dynamic, and a very interesting time. I'll never forget the day I woke up to find Britain was becoming independent, and my phone buzzing like crazy. And I won't forget the feminist girl that was calling me "misogynst" whilst wearing a french maid uniform as I spanked her. lol Our interests make us what we are. It's the spice of life. Base level of attraction is a quick perusal of your face and body. The real fun comes from the dynamic we share, which is based around interests/hobbies/ideas/etc. Link to post Share on other sites
Overtaxed Posted August 23, 2017 Share Posted August 23, 2017 I general, no, at least I didn't. I cared that I was attracted to a woman, comfortable around her, we had things to talk about, she was smart, pretty and funny. Didn't care much about her hobbies unless they happened to overlap mine. Didn't care much about her job unless it was really interesting (cop) or very high paying (doctor); because, if it's not those things, a job is a job. Now, married, yes, I started to care, because I wanted to share more of myself with my W. I wanted to have sex with most of the woman I dated and be able to enjoy spending time with them, but never intended to share much of "me" with them. It's different with my W, and we do have a lot of overlapping hobbies and interests. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mysterio Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 For me. As long as we have the Music thing in common and staying fit. I don't care about any other hobbies. Link to post Share on other sites
Els Posted August 24, 2017 Share Posted August 24, 2017 What are women's interests? The women I know don't have too many interests. Women seem to socialize whenever they can. Art seems to be big amongst some, as does getting dressed up and talking pictures of themselves and posting them on Facebook. Dogs are also big. I think men general have more 'hobbies' because they can be more anti-social. If I was single, I could barely speak to people for like weeks at a time outside of work. I'd have my own stuff to keep me occupied. Two of the hobbies that the SO and I share (gaming and sci-fi) are somewhat male-dominated, so I wouldn't really assume that all women are the same. That being said, I haven't found that women have had any fewer interests than men do, although married women do seem to have less time to spend on their interests than the men, since housework allocation is not really 50/50 yet. If you really must go by generalizations, the common hobbies that I've found more prevalent among women than among men are travel, baking, food, reading, beauty, and art. If you think that any of those "aren't really hobbies", your definition of hobbies is too narrow. But yeah. People are all individuals and plenty of men and women have shared hobbies. That's a big part of how individuals find each other. Link to post Share on other sites
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