My girlfriend breaks up with me all the time!

[zi11]

Hi everybody,

 

After three weeks of NC with my BPD ex, she texted me today. I don't know how the hell did she texted me cause I've already blocked her?

I've been feeling really stressed out this entire afternoon because of this message.

Btw her profile picture on viber was taken just in front of my old abandoned house which used to be our favourite place. Is this a little obsessive and creepy?

 

This is what she wrote:

 

'Please allow me to explain what happened in my house with my parents. I never would've contact you if it's not important'

 

I assume its something related with her father. Maybe he changed his mind about me all of a sudden and started to like! But I don't think so. She is LYING big time just to get my attention and get me back in this loonie bird 'I love you/I don't love you' roller coaster relationship. She has been in lying in the past and she is great manipulator as well.

I'm really tired of her mood swings. I'm a mature person and I can't cope with her unstable behavior anymore.

Because I was all messed up, I've consulted a therapist and her advice was that bpd individuals are incapable of loving someone. The are selfish individuals who crave drama. The are overly dramatic people who create problems when they don't exist. The mood swing cycles are common and they won't stop. In fact, if the condition is not treated properly, it will get worse once the person is getting older.

 

Previously, I've felt deep down inside me that if she breaks up with me now (at age of 31) I'll probably end up alone. Really desperate and pathetic I know. But, believe me, I have tried everything with this girl for three years and nothing seems to worked for her. Everything I've done was not enough for her.

In this three weeks without her I felt really good and free. I've read a lot of books, I was hiking for a week and I'm just feeling good about myself.

I know that if I respond to her text, I'll end up misarable and broken hearted again. That's what she wants obviously and that's what's she misses: Drama! Not me.

 

I knew that she will initiate contact with me eventually and I'm thinking about calling the police and request a restraining order. What do you guys think?

 

I've blocked her again on viber and I hope that I won't receive any of her messages anymore.

I feel that I need to get out my country right now and travel for a month just to get rid of this negative energy and run away from her. Do you think that this is a good idea?

 

Thank you...

Edited September 2, 2017 by zi11

[Downtown]

In this three weeks without her I felt really good and free. I've read a lot of books, I was hiking for a week and I'm just feeling good about myself.

Zi, thanks for returning to give us an update. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling good and are holding firmly to NC after three weeks. Stay the course!

 

I'm thinking about calling the police and request a restraining order. What do you guys think?

The police almost certainly will just tell you to block her again on your Viber messenger app and to do it correctly this time. I would not involve the police unless I had persuasive evidence of actual stalking or threats.

 

I feel that I need to get out my country right now and travel for a month just to get rid of this negative energy and run away from her. Do you think that this is a good idea?

Use your own best judgment. You may decide that -- like the week of hiking -- traveling for a month will life your spirits and energize you. Or you may decide, instead, to put that money into more visits with your therapist. You are in the best position to know what is most helpful at this early stage of your healing process.

[Been]

She might be more of a narcissist then BPD. Both are bad.

I too finally got out of a similar situation.

I think we must have broken up 10 times at least. And she ALWAYS would come running back and make excuses that I would fall for.

[zi11]

Hi Been,

 

Since you went through the same thing, how did you managed to get rid of your ex for good? My ex is stocking me. Even though I have blocked her on each communication channel and I've deleted all my social media profiles, she is persistent to talk to me again.

I was extremely clear when I broke up with her and there was a decent closure. I've had it. I cannot believe that I would've married this girl. Imagine how my life would be in 10 years? Completely bold and with several anxiety issues. I'm just planning a trip right now to get away from her and forget about the three years of nightmare with her.

Did your ex initiated a contact when you broke up with her? I believe that after 10 break ups in a row and a lot of drama, you've realized that it isn't worth anymore.

Did you go 'NC' with her immediatelly after breaking up with her?

 

 

She might be more of a narcissist then BPD. Both are bad.

I too finally got out of a similar situation.

I think we must have broken up 10 times at least. And she ALWAYS would come running back and make excuses that I would fall for.

[Marc878]

Hi Been,

 

Since you went through the same thing, how did you managed to get rid of your ex for good? My ex is stocking me. Even though I have blocked her on each communication channel and I've deleted all my social media profiles, she is persistent to talk to me again.

I was extremely clear when I broke up with her and there was a decent closure. I've had it. I cannot believe that I would've married this girl. Imagine how my life would be in 10 years? Completely bold and with several anxiety issues. I'm just planning a trip right now to get away from her and forget about the three years of nightmare with her.

Did your ex initiated a contact when you broke up with her? I believe that after 10 break ups in a row and a lot of drama, you've realized that it isn't worth anymore.

Did you go 'NC' with her immediatelly after breaking up with her?

 

Keep completely dark. Never respond to her in any way. Time will fix the rest.

 

Congrats on getting your life back.

[Been]

I'm going to be honest with you- she isn't going to leave you alone until SHE feels like she's done.

Mine was the worst of the worst- she could lie to my face and not even be bothered by it in the least. And her cheating was worse.

[zi11]

Hey guys,

 

An update. After a month of NC with BPD ex, she texted me yesterday (from another number. She texted me like 10 long messages in a row. She accused me that I'm a coward not a man. That I could not except her flaws. That she is a girl and her hormones change. Therefore she has mood swings saying that every girl is like that. She said that she would've never done this to me (break up for good). There was a time when she hated me and wanted to break up with me (like 10 times in three years) but all she needed was to see my face and she'll forget about eveything. She said that her mother, all of a sudden, gave her a support and said that we should get married? She said that she breaking up with me multiple times is a result of the fear she had from her father. I don't know whether to believe her or not.

Also, she said that she has grown more for one month than for the last 23 years of her life.

 

I was only nice and carying with her. I've gave everything I've got for her. I mean EVERYTHING and her last text said that I did'n gave her enough??? I really don't understand. Nothing is good enough for her.

 

To be honest, in the past month, I missed her from time to time, but I've never texted her. In the past, everytime she threatens to break up with me or actually break up with me, she knew that I'll be there to make up again. But this has come as a shock for her. I've practically dissapeared from the face of earth. Blocked her from everywhere. She just can't stand the fact that I'm not there for her so she can play tennis with my heart and dumps me whenever she wants knowing that this stupid guy will come back, cause he has not other options. But I'm done for good this time.

 

Lastly, why does she keeps texting??? I was trying to heal from this nightmare, but she keeps coming back. We had a closure and I've told her we're done for good.Does she do this in order to change my mind and get back with her? I really don't know what should I do What do I get if I call her and have a conversation with her? Will anything change?

Edited September 13, 2017 by zi11

[BryanSmiley]

Zi, just wanted to say well done on your most recent handling of this. I've had some similar experiences and kind've am now, but noway near to the same degree.

 

I've experienced some red flags and this time tried to set firm boundaries and avoid the cycle of hot/cold, and breakups from a girl. Reading some of the advice in here makes clear it's just such a tricky psychological battle which no matter how hard one tries - it just feels like you are on egg shells, stressed, anxious with what to expect next.

 

You're ex referring to her multiple breakups as not really longterm serious breakup intentions, really underlines how flawed her thinking and emotions are. Those times obviously caused you both a lot of stress and weakened the relationship each time. For her to portray it like it's a normal hormonal cycle shows how little introspection or responsibility she's willing to take.

 

So it's obviously a total non start to even engage in any comm's with her. You are doing well and remaining strong, you have my admiration. Best of luck to you!

[Zahara]

 

Lastly, why does she keeps texting??? I was trying to heal from this nightmare, but she keeps coming back. We had a closure and I've told her we're done for good.Does she do this in order to change my mind and get back with her? I really don't know what should I do What do I get if I call her and have a conversation with her? Will anything change?

 

She keeps texting because she cannot stand the fact that you've taken control. She's lost her power over you and she's trying her best to break you.

 

You should remain strong and keep with NC. Please do not call her as you will get roped into the dysfunction again. This happened for a reason. A lesson should be learned. Start reflecting on it and embracing the fact that you need to move on. There's no amount of talking that's going to change who she is or her behavior.

 

You should block her so that she's not derailing you from fully focusing on your healing and moving on.

[Downtown]

I really don't know what should I do.

Really, Zi? You don't know? A month ago you were fearful that this unstable woman was going to shoot you with her father's gun and now you don't know what to do? Instead of thinking about taking her back, you should be out shopping for a bullet-proof vest.

 

She said that she breaking up with me multiple times is a result of the fear she had from her father. I don't know whether to believe her or not.

Yes, you do know. You said you knew two weeks ago. Yet, because your emotions are so intense, you just don't want to believe it. Like I stated earlier, it is very painful to walk away from a BPDer because she will exhibit so many child-like characteristics.

 

She is a girl and her hormones change. Therefore she has mood swings saying that every girl is like that.

Well, anything is possible. Yet, if she were only experiencing a severe hormone problem with PMS, her outbursts would have been occurring at regular intervals for only several days a month. That is not what you are describing, however. Rather, you are describing a woman whose rage can be triggered in less than a minute at any time. Indeed, it is so unpredictable, you felt you were always walking on eggshells to avoid triggering her. And you described behavior matching that of "her crazy father, who has really bad temper issues, flips out in a second, abusive, alcoholic, jealous."

 

She said... there was a time when she hated me and wanted to break up with me (like 10 times in three years) but all she needed was to see my face and she'll forget about eveything.

If she is a BPDer as you believe, she can flip from Jekyll (adoring you) to Hyde (hating you) in only a few seconds. And, a week later, she can flip back again just as quickly. These rapid flips arise from "black-white thinking."

 

Like a young child, a BPDer is too emotionally immature to be able to handle strong conflicting feelings (e.g., love and hate). A BPDer therefore has great difficulty tolerating ambiguities, uncertainties, and the other gray areas of close interpersonal relationships. She therefore will categorize everyone close to her as "all good" (i.e., "white" or "with me") or "all bad" (i.e., "black" or "against me"). And she will recategorize someone from one polar extreme to the other -- in just ten seconds -- based solely on a minor comment or action.

 

This B-W thinking also will be evident in the frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions such as "You NEVER..." and "You ALWAYS...." Because a BPDer's close friends eventually will be "split black," it is unusual for a BPDer to have really close long-term friends (unless they live a long distance away).

 

Lastly, why does she keeps texting???

If she is a BPDer as you suspect, she has such a weak self identity that she absolutely HATES being alone. Like a young child who needs a parent to provide direction and grounding, a BPDer sorely needs a partner having a strong stable personality who can provide that missing self identity. But, just like a young child, a BPDer will resent you when you do exactly that. When you help to center her and ground her, she will feel like you are suffocating and controlling her.

 

That is how a parent/child relationship is. A child has a strong need for guidance and will feel neglected and insecure when you don't provide it -- but nonetheless will resent you when you do provide it. This is why you should find a mature woman who is capable of sustaining a husband/wife relationship.

 

I really don't understand. Nothing is good enough for her.

If she is a BPDer, her immaturity and lack of self identity create a bottomless pit of need inside. Trying to fill that void is as futile as trying to fill up the Grand Canyon using a squirt gun.

 

She said that she has grown more for one month than for the last 23 years of her life.

If she is a BPDer, it would take her many years to acquire the emotional skills she had no opportunity to learn in childhood. It takes years to learn how to do self soothing; how to regulate her own emotions; how to intellectually challenge intense feelings instead of accepting them as "facts"; how to trust others; how to be "mindful" (i.e., to remain in the room instead of escaping in daydreams to the past or future); how to perceive "object constancy" (i.e., to see that your personality is essentially unchanged day to day, even when you are angry with her); and how to avoid black-white thinking by learning to tolerate strong mixed feelings, uncertainties, ambiguities, and the other gray areas of interpersonal relationships.

 

What do I get if I call her and have a conversation with her? Will anything change?

Yes, of course things will change. The problem with BPDers, however, is that things WILL NOT STOP CHANGING. If she is a BPDer, you should expect to see her making dramatic improvements in her behavior every few months, if not every few weeks. That is how emotionally unstable people behave. Remember, even a roller coaster will be seen making dramatic gains half the time.

[stillafool]

Hey guys,

 

An update. After a month of NC with BPD ex, she texted me yesterday (from another number. She texted me like 10 long messages in a row. She accused me that I'm a coward not a man. That I could not except her flaws. That she is a girl and her hormones change. Therefore she has mood swings saying that every girl is like that. She said that she would've never done this to me (break up for good). There was a time when she hated me and wanted to break up with me (like 10 times in three years) but all she needed was to see my face and she'll forget about eveything. She said that her mother, all of a sudden, gave her a support and said that we should get married? She said that she breaking up with me multiple times is a result of the fear she had from her father. I don't know whether to believe her or not.

Also, she said that she has grown more for one month than for the last 23 years of her life.

 

I was only nice and carying with her. I've gave everything I've got for her. I mean EVERYTHING and her last text said that I did'n gave her enough??? I really don't understand. Nothing is good enough for her.

 

To be honest, in the past month, I missed her from time to time, but I've never texted her. In the past, everytime she threatens to break up with me or actually break up with me, she knew that I'll be there to make up again. But this has come as a shock for her. I've practically dissapeared from the face of earth. Blocked her from everywhere. She just can't stand the fact that I'm not there for her so she can play tennis with my heart and dumps me whenever she wants knowing that this stupid guy will come back, cause he has not other options. But I'm done for good this time.

 

Lastly, why does she keeps texting??? I was trying to heal from this nightmare, but she keeps coming back. We had a closure and I've told her we're done for good.Does she do this in order to change my mind and get back with her? I really don't know what should I do What do I get if I call her and have a conversation with her? Will anything change?

 

No you should be asking yourself why haven't you blocked her from contacting you? Let her go. I don't know why every time a woman misbehaves everyone wants to label them Bipolar, etc., instead of calling them what they are which is a loser ******* just like the men who act the same way. You should have told your ex to get hormone therapy and to stop contacting you.

[zi11]

No you should be asking yourself why haven't you blocked her from contacting you? Let her go. I don't know why every time a woman misbehaves everyone wants to label them Bipolar, etc., instead of calling them what they are which is a loser ******* just like the men who act the same way. You should have told your ex to get hormone therapy and to stop contacting you.

 

Hi Stillafool,

 

Thank you for your response. I've actually blocked her on each communication channel. I've blocked her number as well. But she texted me from her sister's bf number. What a dramatic move. I've dated women before, I know what's it like when they have an actual PmS. But this is different. Her behavior is like she's having a PMS everyday.

[stillafool]

I understand. All you can do is ignore any calls or texts from people who know her. Preferably block them.

[zi11]

Really, Zi? You don't know? A month ago you were fearful that this unstable woman was going to shoot you with her father's gun and now you don't know what to do? Instead of thinking about taking her back, you should be out shopping for a bullet-proof vest.

 

Yes, you do know. You said you knew two weeks ago. Yet, because your emotions are so intense, you just don't want to believe it. Like I stated earlier, it is very painful to walk away from a BPDer because she will exhibit so many child-like characteristics.

 

Well, anything is possible. Yet, if she were only experiencing a severe hormone problem with PMS, her outbursts would have been occurring at regular intervals for only several days a month. That is not what you are describing, however. Rather, you are describing a woman whose rage can be triggered in less than a minute at any time. Indeed, it is so unpredictable, you felt you were always walking on eggshells to avoid triggering her. And you described behavior matching that of "her crazy father, who has really bad temper issues, flips out in a second, abusive, alcoholic, jealous."

 

If she is a BPDer as you believe, she can flip from Jekyll (adoring you) to Hyde (hating you) in only a few seconds. And, a week later, she can flip back again just as quickly. These rapid flips arise from "black-white thinking."

 

Like a young child, a BPDer is too emotionally immature to be able to handle strong conflicting feelings (e.g., love and hate). A BPDer therefore has great difficulty tolerating ambiguities, uncertainties, and the other gray areas of close interpersonal relationships. She therefore will categorize everyone close to her as "all good" (i.e., "white" or "with me") or "all bad" (i.e., "black" or "against me"). And she will recategorize someone from one polar extreme to the other -- in just ten seconds -- based solely on a minor comment or action.

 

This B-W thinking also will be evident in the frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions such as "You NEVER..." and "You ALWAYS...." Because a BPDer's close friends eventually will be "split black," it is unusual for a BPDer to have really close long-term friends (unless they live a long distance away).

 

If she is a BPDer as you suspect, she has such a weak self identity that she absolutely HATES being alone. Like a young child who needs a parent to provide direction and grounding, a BPDer sorely needs a partner having a strong stable personality who can provide that missing self identity. But, just like a young child, a BPDer will resent you when you do exactly that. When you help to center her and ground her, she will feel like you are suffocating and controlling her.

 

That is how a parent/child relationship is. A child has a strong need for guidance and will feel neglected and insecure when you don't provide it -- but nonetheless will resent you when you do provide it. This is why you should find a mature woman who is capable of sustaining a husband/wife relationship.

 

If she is a BPDer, her immaturity and lack of self identity create a bottomless pit of need inside. Trying to fill that void is as futile as trying to fill up the Grand Canyon using a squirt gun.

 

If she is a BPDer, it would take her many years to acquire the emotional skills she had no opportunity to learn in childhood. It takes years to learn how to do self soothing; how to regulate her own emotions; how to intellectually challenge intense feelings instead of accepting them as "facts"; how to trust others; how to be "mindful" (i.e., to remain in the room instead of escaping in daydreams to the past or future); how to perceive "object constancy" (i.e., to see that your personality is essentially unchanged day to day, even when you are angry with her); and how to avoid black-white thinking by learning to tolerate strong mixed feelings, uncertainties, ambiguities, and the other gray areas of interpersonal relationships.

 

Yes, of course things will change. The problem with BPDers, however, is that things WILL NOT STOP CHANGING. If she is a BPDer, you should expect to see her making dramatic improvements in her behavior every few months, if not every few weeks. That is how emotionally unstable people behave. Remember, even a roller coaster will be seen making dramatic gains half the time.

 

Dear Downtown,

 

Please do not think that i have changed my mind because of her message. I've just got a little emotional for a minute cause her message was pretty depresing. The NC rule is still on. I'm thinking about changing my number though. In that way she can't contact me at all. I'm just little surprised that she is blaming me for everything AGAIN. I'm so stupid that I haven't recognized these red flags in the beginning. Now I feel that I can't rid of her.

[stillafool]

Changing your phone number is one of the best ways to get over a break up. I've done it several times after a break up and it is most effective. You no longer have to wonder if they are going to call or be afraid to answer your phone. You also know that anyone who calls you will be someone you want to talk to. Also it's good for when you enter another relationship because you start with a clean slate.

[alphamale]

Your in a toxic relationship. She is always going to be like that. One minute she loves you. The next not so much.

And you'll get tired of the up and down. It will wear you down both physically and mentally.

The only way to solve it is to block her and never talk to her again.

You've already taken her back countless times so in essense she thinks you will continue to do that. So you have to go NC.

I had a relationship like that once and towards the end I just couldn't stand it.

I totally agree

[Jchav123]

I read through this entire thread and its like as if Zi and I were dating the same girl. Except in my case shes a few years older and seems to be SLIGHTLY more stable in her emotions. My ex isn't blowing up my phone and does have more self control but literally every single negative detail is the same, even Zi's time line of breakup/get back together down to the month. Its very eerie.

 

In my case though my ex moved on to "the most amazing man ever" within a week of our breakup and after she found out I was out having fun she NC'd me. That was 2 weeks ago now. I could write volumes about how this girl was to me and I am just so angry at myself because I still want to be with her even after all this, even after she moved on to find someone else so damn fast.

 

Anyway, reading this thread really put my relationship into perspective and I thank everyone involved.

Edited September 13, 2017 by Jchav123

[zi11]

I read through this entire thread and its like as if Zi and I were dating the same girl. Except in my case shes a few years older and seems to be SLIGHTLY more stable in her emotions. My ex isn't blowing up my phone and does have more self control but literally every single negative detail is the same, even Zi's time line of breakup/get back together down to the month. Its very eerie.

 

In my case though my ex moved on to "the most amazing man ever" within a week of our breakup and after she found out I was out having fun she NC'd me. That was 2 weeks ago now. I could write volumes about how this girl was to me and I am just so angry at myself because I still want to be with her even after all this, even after she moved on to find someone else so damn fast.

 

Anyway, reading this thread really put my relationship into perspective and I thank everyone involved.

 

Hi Jchav123,

 

Since we were in the same boat, I'm so glad that you canbenefit from my story and from every single comment and suggestion posted by all respected members.

I have to add though that while I was in the relationship, I could not see clearly that my ex has a BPD disorder. When I finally got out from the relationship (emotionally wrecked) I've realized that her behavior is wrong. I've realized this late because I truly loved her - Not anymore.

Regarding your case - she hooked up with another guy a week after you guys break up is a sign of manipulative and promiscous person. I mean, show a little appreciation and keep your pants on for the sake of the person who loved and you and respected you. Did you know what my ex did to me prior our relationship got official? We went on a first date, and three days later, she hooked with her ex (the love of her life). Than she dissapeared for two weeks and than initiated contact again. I'll regret for the rest of my life that I went out on a second date with her, cause none of this would not happened. As Downtown said previuosly in his extensive elaboration concerning BPD, a BPD person will reach out for you whe there are no other options. 100% true in my case, cause I assume she got dumped by her ex and I was a great candidate for next project.

Overall, please block your ex and go completely NC with her. Even if she gets dumped by her 'most amazing man' she'll might contact you again. Forget about her. There is nothing worse in this life than a manipulative and cheating female. Doesn't worth your time nor your energy. Move on with you life. Focus on yourself. For futute reference, if you notice any of these red flags in other women: RUN as fast as you can!

 

Wish all the best buddy!

[Jchav123]

Hi Jchav123,

Overall, please block your ex and go completely NC with her. Even if she gets dumped by her 'most amazing man' she'll might contact you again.

 

 

You are absolutely right because it already happened! She came to me a few weeks ago saying what and idiot she was about us and wanted to go to lunch. We had food and drinks and went back to my place and what do you know we hooked up! She cheated on him without a second thought and they were still dating! They still ARE dating! I was just too weak to say no. But after she blew up my phone psycho pissed about me hanging out with my best friend I said I was finished. She initiated NC and I haven't reached out after I emailed her explaining how crappy she was to text threats and accusing me of cheating during our relationship (never happened) and texting this FROM HER BOYFRIENDS HOUSE. I'm like why do you care if who I am with if you are so happy??

 

I know at times I wasn't the best boyfriend, but no one deserves a relationship like this. I broke up with her when I found out she cheated I should have walked away but I kept going. Foolish. I know better now. And I won't ever let this happen again.

 

I actually posted the backstory on this forum: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/634833-what-hell-wrong-me

[zi11]

You are absolutely right because it already happened! She came to me a few weeks ago saying what and idiot she was about us and wanted to go to lunch. We had food and drinks and went back to my place and what do you know we hooked up! She cheated on him without a second thought and they were still dating! They still ARE dating! I was just too weak to say no. But after she blew up my phone psycho pissed about me hanging out with my best friend I said I was finished. She initiated NC and I haven't reached out after I emailed her explaining how crappy she was to text threats and accusing me of cheating during our relationship (never happened) and texting this FROM HER BOYFRIENDS HOUSE. I'm like why do you care if who I am with if you are so happy??

 

I know at times I wasn't the best boyfriend, but no one deserves a relationship like this. I broke up with her when I found out she cheated I should have walked away but I kept going. Foolish. I know better now. And I won't ever let this happen again.

 

I actually posted the backstory on this forum: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/634833-what-hell-wrong-me

 

Wow dude! You are totally right! Like we dated the exact same girl!!!

These type of girls are not either short term nor long term material. Unstability, drama, attention, promiscuity... The list goes on... I'm just mad at my self right now cause she is actually the only girl that met my mother - who passed away last year (( - cause I've thought that she is the one. Ahhh.. Lesson learned. Next time when a girl talks to me, and she gets too comfortable too fast, tells me everything about her (her entire life in one day) and can't wait to say: I love you in the very beginning of the relationship. I will go to get some cigarette and never return.

Edited September 14, 2017 by zi11

[FXXUP]

 

Lastly, why does she keeps texting??? I was trying to heal from this nightmare, but she keeps coming back. We had a closure and I've told her we're done for good.Does she do this in order to change my mind and get back with her? I really don't know what should I do What do I get if I call her and have a conversation with her? Will anything change?

 

 

dunno if this helps:

 

try UNDERSTANDING THE FACT YOU ARE DEALING WITH SOMEONE ILL.

they might be` good people" but none the less ILL

 

ALSO

remember it takes 2 TO TANGO,

u MIGHT NOT BE ALL THAT TOGETHER like u might also be Tiny-tiny ILL YOURSELF

Remember all those come backs she uses to describe U?

WHEN U GET TO A BETTER PLACE{which i pray u get to soon} you will FIND OUT U WERE ALL THOSE AND SOME

 

takeout:

2 crazy people can never make `IT" work

u blind and trying to lead a blind ... come off your high horse then things will become easier and bearable{wa to recovery fromm this current madness}

[FXXUP]

if u understand above , u won`t be perplexed and keep obsessing about your current ` rinse and spit" cycle. the cycling just stops

[zi11]

if u understand above , u won`t be perplexed and keep obsessing about your current ` rinse and spit" cycle. the cycling just stops

 

Thank you for your input. Btw, It's totally my fault that I kept convincing her after each break up she initiated, to get back together, cause I've felt lonely and devastated especially when I've lost my mother. I've had strong feeling for my ex but after the final break up, I truly a saw something strange. I saw a guy who treated his gf like a queen in every each aspect of life. A guy who would've done anything to make her happy. But I've realized, too late unfortunately, that she doesn't give a rats ass about me and never did. She just wanted a constant attention (me me me type) and texted me around 357 messages a day. I've lost track who I am because of her and now at age of 31 I feel like I'm 60 from all the emotional damage. I've joined this excellent forum in order to share my story, like everybody else, and read and disscuss with people who were in the same situation. I've got some excellent, in depth answers and advice, especially from Downtown and other respected members.

Overall, it's not forbidden to post an update of your healing process and ask for some additional advice. In other words, I'm not obssesing about anything, like you stressed, and the cycle will eventually stop. We are discussing and exchanging thoughts. This is what this forum is all about.

 

Thank you for your answer anyway.

[Jchav123]

tells me everything about her (her entire life in one day)

 

Literally what happened on the first day I met her. I was just trying to look at an apartment but she was talking the whole time about her whole life. I thought it was SO charming but now I feel like that's a red flag. I am still recovering from this experience but I am moving forward.

 

I don't think I am going to look at dating the same way again! Less like a fun and mysterious experience and more like a serious fact finding mission. Sounds harsh but I'd rather be harsh than deal with these feelings ever again!

[Downtown]

She doesn't give a rat's ass about me and never did. She just wanted a constant attention (me me me type).

Zi, a recent study found that about 75% of full-blown BPDers also exhibit one or two other PDs as well. I mention this because her never giving "a rat's ass" about you is a symptom of Narcissistic PD, not BPD. That study found that a third of female BPDers also exhibit full-blown NPD. Whereas BPDers are able to love intensely (albeit in an immature way), full-blown narcissists are unable to love others. See Table 3 at 2008 Study in JCP.