Girlfriend has only dated black men

[noname]

Originally posted by Woggle

I am never one to sterotype an entire group of people but you can't deny that many white women ahve this mentality. Black men who are with a white woman should take a look at her parents to see whether she is rebelling or she really loves him.

 

Also Kobe was about money but she picked a black man for a reason.

 

didn't deny it at all. many do. but i believe we are talking about something that may be more region specific than anything.

 

i thought about that one myself. he would be an easier target because he is Black. but i had to think twice, i mean if she didn't think to clean multiple DNA strands before she slept with him, she might not be sharp enough to be that calculated...

[kitkat826]

Originally posted by 933KJL

I have also heard that the majority of black men in the US do not enjoy going down on a woman...so that could be a major thing if you are good at it.

 

1) I know many, many black men and none of them, as far as I know, don't like going down. Of course I havent spoken with all of them about their views on oral sex, but from doing a sample I would say that your above statement is completely unfounded. I doubt I live in some atypical Black Man Oral Sex Fiend enclave...or that it has followed me as I've moved around.

 

[Most black americans are descended from the Caribbean nations

 

2) Most Black Americans, if my memory serves me, are NOT descended from Carribean nations. Some body please whos a history buff please confirm this for me, but most are descended from slaves brought to the North American continent and who stayed (and in many, many cases mixed with other ethnicities along the way).

 

and there is someting in the religion that is tied in with menstruation and the blood and the evil spirits (old time teachings) so naturally no one wants to drink from that fountain! But again it is the old time stereotypes that perpetuate this.....well my dad and grandfather never did so it must be...

 

3) I actually DO have one friend who was told lthis by his grandfather. He is half Puerto Rican, 1/4 Black and 1/4 Filipino. But I really, really doubt that it is as wide spread as you make it sound. Every man I have ever dated has been at least part Latino/Carribean, and none have had qualms about performing oral sex.

 

Just out of curiosity, where the he** do you get these exaggerated comments??!

[mental_traveller]

Originally posted by orta

I want you to explain to me how disagreeing with the idea of interracial relationships is being racist.

 

You're judging people negatively, based solely on their race. That's pretty much the definition of racism.

[mental_traveller]

Originally posted by Star Gazer

Alpha - Catholics and Jews have a fundamentally different historial background. There is nothing wrong with each wanting to remain amongst those that share that same history. Many black people, white people, asian people, latin people, etc., ALSO feel a very strong connection to their cultural history and choose also to share that history with people who have lived through it. There's nothing wrong with that, IMO.

 

By that argument, it would still be ok to have white-only areas on buses, or segregated schools. It would still be ok to set up your own bar and put a sign outside saying "no Blacks, no dogs, no Irish". After all, you said there's nothing wrong with wanting to remain amongst people that share the same history.

[SUNSHINE143]

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE ON THIS POST IS MAKING WHITE PEOPLE OUT TO BE THE ONLY GROUP WITH PREJUDICES? I HAD A VERY CLOSE BLACK FRIEND AND THE MOMENT I STEPPED INTO HIS HOUSE, HIS MOMMA STARTED YELLING THAT HE BETTER NOT HAVE IN WHITE PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE. SHE MADE THE COMMENT, "BOO, YOU KNOW I DON'T LIKE WHITE PEOPLE IN MY HOUSE.

 

EVEN IF YOU ARE RACIST, THAT'S YOUR RIGHT. I DON'T KNOW ANYONE, NOT BLACK, WHITE, HISPANIC, NO ONE WHO WAS NOT RAISED WITH SOME KIND OF PRE-CONCEIVED NOTION ABOUT ANOTHER RACE OR RELIGION. s***. BAPTIST DON'T BELIEVE THE CATHOLIC RELIGION IS WORTH A DAMN. THERE ARE A LOT OF REALLY SENSITIVE PEOPLE ON THIS THREAD, AND THAT'S WHAT MAKES HATE STILL EXIST TODAY!!

 

I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU LIVE IN SOUTH CAROLINA, BUT I DO. WE ARE THE STATE THAT THE NAACP HAS A BOYCOTT AGAINST BECAUSE OF A FLAG. THE STATE MOVED THE FLAG WHERE THE NAACP ASKED FOR IT TO BE MOVED, IN THE CONFEDERATE MONUMENT, AND THEY ARE STILL BOYCOTTING BECAUSE THAT WAS NOT GOOD ENOUGH. LET IT GO!!!!!! THEY INTERVIEW PEOPLE AT BLACK BIKE WEEK IN MYRTLE BEACH AND THEY THOUGHT IT WAS ABSURD, SO DOES MOST EVERYONE ELSE, BUT THE NAACP WANTS TO CARRY IT OUT, FOR WHAT?

 

I AM A MOTHER OF A WONDERFUL LITTLE BOY AND I DON'T TEACH HIM ANY HATE, BUT SOCIETY WILL.

 

FOR ALL OF YOU PREACHING ABOUT OTHERS BEING RACIST, HOW WOULD YOU FELL IF YOU BOY/GIRLFRIEND WAS ONLY ATTRACTED TO THE SAME SEX BEFORE YOU, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO KNOW? GAYS GET KILLED EVERYDAY BECAUSE OF HATE, HOW COME NO ONE COMES TO THEIR DEFENSE?

[alphamale]

Originally posted by SUNSHINE143

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE ON THIS POST IS MAKING WHITE PEOPLE OUT TO BE THE ONLY GROUP WITH PREJUDICES?

Most races also discriminate within themselves...it is a dirty little secret but very dark skinned african americans are discriminated against every day by their lighter skinned brothers and sisters. The most successful black men end up marrying lighter skinned women, be they black or white.

[SUNSHINE143]

ALPHA-MALE, COME TO S.C. AND TOGETHER WE WILL SEE SOME OF THE MOST RACIST BLACK PEOPLE YOU WILL EVER WANT TO MEET. MY COUSIN COULD NOT GO TO HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE IT IS SUCH A BAD SCHOOL. I MEAN COUNTLESS RAPES, MURDER, LYNCHINGS, THE WHOLE NINE. AND THEY ARE QUICK TO ATTACK A WHITE PERSON JUST FOR BEING WHITE. IT HAPPENS EVERYWHERE.

[morrigan]

Eclipse, like what LucreziaBorgia said, ask your gf, out of curiousity, why she dated many black men. Don't have problems if or when she asks you why you dated certain women. The thing is, if you are that disturbed by your gf's past relationships, and can't accept the choices she has made, it's not going to work between you two. You've only known her three months.

 

Some people do date other races for the trend or the rebelling against bigot Ma and Pa factor. Some people, like my sister, date men of various races who have similar physical traits--she tends to date fitness nuts/bodybuilder types. I figure it's the same reason I date guys with certain physical characteristics--I find them pleasant to look at.

 

One of my black friends in college preferred to date blondes. A black girl I knew was rude enough to say to him that he was a racist, because he never dated black women. Anybody can be idiotic, that's not a trait of any one race.

[Outcast]

One of the happiest couples I know is biracial. They've got gorgeous kids, too.

[New_Wife]

I think it can also be a geographical choice. When I met my little ones' father, it was in a primarily military area. I'd venture a guess that 70% of the available men were black. So it stood to reason that I'd meet some. Being of mixed racial ethnicity myself, I had a bit more leeway in choices, because it wasn't as if I was going to find an exact match anyway.

 

I do agree, however, that racism cuts both ways. While we were married I got as much flack from black women as white men.

 

Additionally, my Japanese Exchange sister had very definitive ideas about other races. ANY other races. Her culture simply did not allow for it.

 

To the OP, ask her. As you can see, there are a myriad of reasons why she might have chosen this way in the past, but there is only one she chose you now. She obviously found something in you to love. Take comfort in that & I would suggest you spend more time on the present than the past. It's not as though she only dated felons in the past, right?

[JPMorgan]

quote:Originally posted by Star Gazer

Alpha - Catholics and Jews have a fundamentally different historial background. There is nothing wrong with each wanting to remain amongst those that share that same history. Many black people, white people, asian people, latin people, etc., ALSO feel a very strong connection to their cultural history and choose also to share that history with people who have lived through it. There's nothing wrong with that, IMO.

 

 

 

Originally posted by mental_traveller

By that argument, it would still be ok to have white-only areas on buses, or segregated schools. It would still be ok to set up your own bar and put a sign outside saying "no Blacks, no dogs, no Irish". After all, you said there's nothing wrong with wanting to remain amongst people that share the same history.

 

!!People have some pretty skewed ideas of what racism is.

 

A few hundred years ago people of different races were severely segregated in EVERYTHING. Chinese were used as labor by white people.

 

Black tribes sold black people from other black tribes to slave traders (many were white, some were black)

 

The majority of the people in the USA were white -- it was settled by white people mainly. It was founded by mostly white people of European descent.

 

Black people were slaves then servants because that is all they knew here! As much as it was white people who enslaved black people, it was also white people who FREED black people! Many white people went to war and died in support of this freedom.

 

Fast-forward a bit. Black people are now allowed the same privlidges as white people. Schools, churches, property, civil rights.

 

However, black history and white history are so vastly different, even though they travel next to each other on the timeline that mixing the races provides inumerable obstacles for a couple to get through. How many white people do you think really can understand--with the same feelings and POVs as a black person, the 'black experience'? White people were not raised being told the same history (family and world) in the same way or with the same point of view.

 

Fast-forward a bit more. Transportation, desegregations, civil rights, NAACP, quotas, etc. Black people (& now other minority races) are becoming educated, moving up in the world, are on a more even footing with the white population. Some white people have fought it and they made the news, but the vast majority of white people fought for the progress and inclusion of equal treatment of minorities. They didn't always make the news though.

 

Fast-forward to now. The great boom of desegregation and equal rights is in the past. People (black, brown, yellow, and white) are segregating themselves by promoting their racial culture and history and by separating it and celebrating it. Black History Month. (why isn't there a White History Month?) Libraries for Latinos only -- everyting is in spanish (this is going on in Colorado now). Holocoust Museum. AFRICAN-American, MEXICAN-American, ITALIAN-American, CHINESE-American, etc.

 

Someone else said that America is not longer a melting-pot where the cultures and races melt together and change and adapt into one cohesive culture -- now it's a tossed salad covered with oil and vinegar and it just doesn't mix well. Each bit is separate.

 

But, with travel so easy, people have spread out--further away from hometowns and families. Its nothing to have a family spread across the globe--each experiences new and different things that are not shared by their distant family, so its easier to meet people of other races and have more in common with then than the last generations.

 

But there is still the ancestry and family and racial history, not to mention religious differences. I don't see it as being racist at all if a person does not agree with interracial relationships. That's not necessarily hatred or bigotry - it is preference and for me, its born of knowing those differences and not having in common the depth of connection with my culture's past.

[noname]

Originally posted by mental_traveller

You're judging people negatively, based solely on their race. That's pretty much the definition of racism.

 

actually, you can disagree with race mixing without judging people. i think there are a lot of people who want to keep hold on a culture that they think needs to be carried on and they would rather stick with their own kind.

 

as long as they are not judging and belittling people as if they are not good enough, i don't think that it can be classified as racism. an example. Native Americans were nearly wiped out by settlers and conquistadors and as a result, many that i have spoken to would rather date and have their relatives date within the race, not because they are superior or nobody is good enough for them, but to keep the bloodlines going and to pass on a rich culture that may otherwise only be available in history books. that's not racism, its survival...

[noname]

Originally posted by mental_traveller

By that argument, it would still be ok to have white-only areas on buses, or segregated schools. It would still be ok to set up your own bar and put a sign outside saying "no Blacks, no dogs, no Irish". After all, you said there's nothing wrong with wanting to remain amongst people that share the same history.

 

that is a bit of a jump. she was saying the truth. it is easier for some people to exist around people who have things in common. marrying someone who has a different faith than you or a different cultural background, can present problems that you may not have if you did not. it is a possibility. i don't think she was saying that that we should cordone off areas where people do not coexist. seems to me she was just saying that some people feel more comfortable marrying and procreating with people like them...

[noname]

Originally posted by SUNSHINE143

WHY IS IT THAT EVERYONE ON THIS POST IS MAKING WHITE PEOPLE OUT TO BE THE ONLY GROUP WITH PREJUDICES?

 

what thread are you reading? i didn't get that at all...

 

FOR ALL OF YOU PREACHING ABOUT OTHERS BEING RACIST, HOW WOULD YOU FELL IF YOU BOY/GIRLFRIEND WAS ONLY ATTRACTED TO THE SAME SEX BEFORE YOU, YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO KNOW? GAYS GET KILLED EVERYDAY BECAUSE OF HATE, HOW COME NO ONE COMES TO THEIR DEFENSE?

 

i'm sure people would come to their defense if that was the subject of this thread.

[noname]

Originally posted by alphamale

Most races also discriminate within themselves...it is a dirty little secret but very dark skinned african americans are discriminated against every day by their lighter skinned brothers and sisters. The most successful black men end up marrying lighter skinned women, be they black or white.

 

you are absolutely right. but that's no dirty little secret. that is a very well known condition of self hatred and that has resulted from the values put upon skin color and standards of beauty during the slave trade. there are extensive studies done on it and it is still very prevalent today...

[SUNSHINE143]

NONAME....

 

I'm not sure what post your reading. Take a second to read all of it. The post is shifted in the direction of whites being racist against blacks. And, I want you to ask as many gay men as you can find, and see how much support they get!

 

I was agreeing with you up until you were to blind to see the white/black issue here. I don't know where you come form, but come to where I live and we will talk.

[noname]

Originally posted by SUNSHINE143

NONAME....

 

I'm not sure what post your reading. Take a second to read all of it. The post is shifted in the direction of whites being racist against blacks. And, I want you to ask as many gay men as you can find, and see how much support they get!

 

I was agreeing with you up until you were to blind to see the white/black issue here. I don't know where you come form, but come to where I live and we will talk.

 

I read back over it before and after you instructed me to and still didn't feel an attack on White people. we are talking about inter-racial relationships. it has gone all over the place from Asia to Europe, etc. i even read something acknowledging that some people feel that only White people are seen as racist when they do not agree with IRD, as well as arguments that this is not the case. i read a lot of posts that testified to the fact that many Black people are racist as well, along with Japanese, and everyone else in the world.

 

i think what the problem is is that this is turning into a "American" thing. i would assume that many of the posters here are American and i believe we are turning this into a regional battle based on both history and personal experience. we tend to see things a "bit" more Black and White than the rest of the world, so our discussions are jaded by a history that is a little to young and touchy to let go of. our color lines are so much more defined than the rest of the world. some people are even talking about African-Americans and assuming they are the only Black people in the world.

 

while i understand your frustration with race relations in your area (i have not lived there and acknowledge that i haven't experienced what you have), i think that your personal experience may be making some of the posts cut you a little too deeply. your post sounded very frustrated to the point that you went on a small rant about the NAACP and a flag, which i feel has no relevance to neither love nor prejudice. and btw there are many places in this country where people come to the defence of Gay people in a heartbeat.

 

i meant no disrespect to you. i AM trying to see your point. what i think you are talking about may be the fact that some posters were critisizing the OP for what they perceive his views towards Black people are. which seems to be pretty logical because he is a White person, who expressed his concern about his woman dating only Black men prior to him (AND made what i think is a huge mistake in mentioning he is against it if he wanted to get any sound advice without being judged). i am damn sure that if he was Asian and concerned that his woman only dated White men prior (AND made the same mistake), he would have caught hell for it. thus, sending us into another spiral of non-advice giving racial discussion instead of getting the answers he was looking for.

 

anyway, this is a touchy subject and that's the breaks. if the human race is ever gonna get this thing right, we are gonna have to step on a few more toes and make a few more people angry in order to make progress. maybe the moderaters should start a "racial shack" as a mini site where people can hash out this stuff...

 

back on topic though. my argument still stands. whether the guy (who i hope is still reading) is "Racist" or not, he is dating this woman. and since this is Love Shack, he is within his rights, and he owes it to both his woman and himself to get the issue out in the open...

[lvgrly]

This topic is just like some people like coke, and others pepsi. Its all a matter of opinion. No one is really right reguarless..

 

They may think one thing and think thats right..But Its all about your own morals, and your own thoughts....

 

Its a never ending battle...

[SUNSHINE143]

NONAME- I can see where your at with your opinion and most of the threads on this whole site turn into other people fighting with one another almost completely off the subject. I feel the poster should ask his girlfriend, but from the beginning, he started getting bashed about being racist.

 

The 3rd post implied his girlfriend is smart for choosing to date black men. Me personally I am the first to bring up a touchy subject in public, just to help get over the issue people have with it.

 

Like I stated earlier, I am not racist, but would not date outside of my race for a lot of reasons. A lot of people have said that and they all are getting questioned for it. I may have sore spots, a lot of people do, but I could resist defending those who are being bashed for not wanting to date outside their own race.

 

It's all good NONAME

[noname]

Originally posted by SUNSHINE143

NONAME- I can see where your at with your opinion and most of the threads on this whole site turn into other people fighting with one another almost completely off the subject. I feel the poster should ask his girlfriend, but from the beginning, he started getting bashed about being racist.

 

The 3rd post implied his girlfriend is smart for choosing to date black men. Me personally I am the first to bring up a touchy subject in public, just to help get over the issue people have with it.

 

Like I stated earlier, I am not racist, but would not date outside of my race for a lot of reasons. A lot of people have said that and they all are getting questioned for it. I may have sore spots, a lot of people do, but I could resist defending those who are being bashed for not wanting to date outside their own race.

 

It's all good NONAME

 

yeah that was unfortunate. but he kinda called it on himself by adding that statement.

as you can see, i don't like them labeling people for that either, cause i checked people on that myself. it's all good over here too...

[aznflava]

Black people can be racist just like any other group. A bit ironic isn't it, that it was exactly what Martin Luther King Jr. was against???! In fact, some black people can be extremely racist. I find it also absurd that some african americans constantly make fun of their race with rejects such as Chris Rock, Schapelle etc. and constantly use the word 'nigger' in movies, tv shows etc. I believe that without doubt, this is in fact, worsening the divide rather than repairing it.

 

And the fact is, some black people can be publically racist and not reprimanded for their actions and words. Like who you ask?? Take that fugly, incestuous gigalo-NBA player SHAQ O'NEAL against the Chinese basketball star Yao Ming. In a press conference he actually said "I'm looking forward to facing that 'slanted eye m*therf*cker' on the court." And then he starts making these 'ching chong' noises like he had just watched a movie from the 1940's. That really made my blood boil after I read about it.

 

I'm telling you Shaq O'Neal or whatever your bastard family called you, we are going to hunt you down. It could be anywhere, the mall, the NBA court, your home, your house, Chinatown, to Africa or where you chosoe to run. You just made 2 billion people want to kill you.

[LazyLibra]

What's wrong with interracial relationships?

 

how can someone say "i'm not racist" and say "i'm against interracial relationships"? To me that's hypocricy at it's worst

[New_Wife]

There is nothing "wrong" with interracial relationships. And there is nothing wrong with someone who is not attracted to someone of a different race.

 

What I'm reading is a couple of people that feel that their right choice is the only right answer, and that's just silly.

 

If a man said "I only date Brunettes" or red-heads/blondes, whatever, we'd all see that as his preference and move on. No one would label his relationship with his mother or father or whatever. But toss a little extra melatonin in the equation, and all of the sudden we've got a hot-plate issue.

 

For me, personally, I don't mind interracial relationships, I was created from one. Indian father, white mother - I got great skin that doesn't need a tanning booth & thick dark hair with a reddish tint. I got an anglo nose and full Indian lips, I like the mix well enough. If white man didn't want to date me for that - no worries. If an Indian man didn't want to date me because I was a 1/2 breed - no worries. But to be honest, I never much thought about it.

 

I've dated all over the board, but that was my choice. Different cultures and styles fascinate me. My husband now is a very very white man. When we curl up at night, my darker skin against his pale - looks pretty neat. Culturally, we are very much alike, as I was raised primarily by my white mother.

 

Anyway - seing as how I just took a personal detour around the whole issue - I just wanted to state that I don't think a person is racist if they chose either direction. I would be the most worried if my children dated jerks, abusers, drug users, criminals, etc. The color of their mate is not really that important to me.

 

But if you, as a white person, want to date only white people - go for it. I promise, I won't lose any sleep over it

[Apex]

JanieQP

It's also possible that the OP's girlfriend had been using her black bfs just to get at her parents. The "they'll love you 'cause you're white" could be a tip-off here. One of my sisters did this as a way of asserting her independence, and she is one of the most conservative people I know.

Sounds like a Romeo and Juliet type drama. Maybe it is beauty and the beast?

alphamale

for the last 10 years or so its been quite fashionable and "trendy" for white girls to date black men. Especially in the younger crowd. It's hip

It is chic.

lvgrly

But I will have to admit, that this is just from what I have noticed..Girls who grow up in a more diverse enviroment, are more likely to date another race, as to girls who were raised in a pretty much all white community or a community/enviroment that is more close minded are more open to dating other races..

I don't think interracial dating is proof of "progress".

[alphamale]

open mindedness and intelligence usually go hand-in-hand

I wholeheartedly disagree.

Star_Gazer

That's B.S. Romantic relationships that could potentially lead to marriage are VERY different from just plain old friendships where race, religion, ethnicity, etc. doesn't matter. There are cultural reasons why certain groups of people feel it's best/easier/whatever to stay with their own. For example, many Jews will not date/marry non-Jews for very important reasons, and many Catholics won't date Jews for their own very important reasons. That doesn't make a Catholic an anti-semite, or a Jew a Jesus hater. Puleeze.

Agreed. Marriage unites individuals and families.

alphamale

sure it does STARGAZER....the whole Nazi regime was based upon the idea that certain peoples were not good enuf to marry Germans or even live in Germany....

 

racism has to start somewhere and if you think that a certain class of folks are not "marryable" then that is the start of hatred and intolerance.

There are many reasons why people marry.

Are you suggesting that we breed out the Aryan race.

Woggle

Back in the days when white women were discoveed to be having affairs with black men they accused the men of rape and then the men were hung.

Koby Bryant's case has nothing to do with lynchings. If anything, don't have sex with a psycho, and that advice can cross racial lines.

lvgrly

This topic is just like some people like coke, and others pepsi. Its all a matter of opinion. No one is really right reguarless..

The topic is over wheter or not the fact a white woman exclusively dated black men is a symptom of a bigger problem with her.

[JCA]

I know most of you will find this offensive, but I just found out my girlfriend (she and I are both white) used to date a bro. I like my AA friends a lot but this is freaking me out a bit.

 

I will weigh in in a few weeks but this may be a deal killer.