d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 , Him and I were both Christians, But it seem like I was not good enough for him . Perhaps you are too good for him. He doesn't seem very Christian. Some lawyers are full of themselves. They don't see the value in other careers. They are shortsighted. Teaching is a noble profession. Remember teachers enabled him to become a lawyer. I think you dodged a bullet. So dear teacher, take this as a lesson. Learn from your mistake in dating a man who did not have a giving spirit. Don't make that mistake again & move on. Best wishes 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Good morning , Him and I were both Christians, we didn't discuss too much politics . I am a very optimistic person and happy. He is on the other hand very negative and doesn't know how to give compliments. We didn't have a lot of disagreements . Just mainly was him joking about my life and career choices . He called me lazy jokingly but now I see he was serious . I am a teacher and very successful I do not think I am lazy . But it seem like I was not good enough for him . It's not that you weren't good enough, you just weren't what HE needed/wanted in a partner PERIOD. Stop with the negative self-talk. And, if he is a Christian . . . he's not good at it 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 What else I could have done to keep him. -- This mindset, right here, is something you need to put away. You don't do things to keep a man in your life. They have to want to be there and because you are a fit for them. Doing things to "keep" someone in your life will drain the life right out of you. Yes, you do nice things for the person you care about, but not at your own expense -- like driving to him all the time because "he's tired". Seriously, you were never tired? That needed to be balanced too. Throw away that letter -- actually you should burn it to symbolize how the letter made you feel . . . And, I don't waste one minute of emotional energy on a person who doesn't want to be with me -- anymore. I've been there done that and it's a waste of precious time and energy that could be spent doing things I enjoy with people who show me that they want me in their lives and contribute to the relationship. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Spring23 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Good morning , Him and I were both Christians, we didn't discuss too much politics . I am a very optimistic person and happy. He is on the other hand very negative and doesn't know how to give compliments. We didn't have a lot of disagreements . Just mainly was him joking about my life and career choices . He called me lazy jokingly but now I see he was serious . I am a teacher and very successful I do not think I am lazy . But it seem like I was not good enough for him . Don't be surprised if he contacts you again and says something like: "Oh yeah I still don't think we're right for each other but I just wanted to see how you're doing." When he does that (which he probably will.) Don't respond. You'll be tempted to respond but don't. If you ever bump into him and he asks why you didn't respond simply say "We broke up and I didn't think talking to you was healthy." Then walk away. There are times when logic needs to jump in. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spring23 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 It's not that you weren't good enough, you just weren't what HE needed/wanted in a partner PERIOD. Stop with the negative self-talk. And, if he is a Christian . . . he's not good at it Yep. He's pretty bad. He needs to go to Church more or something. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenleaf2004 Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 What a d*ck!! Please throw away that letter and breathe a sigh of relief that you're not stuck with such a pompous *********. You're not "good enough" for him??? I know it stings right now because you did care about him, but please believe it when we say that HE didn't deserve YOU! I'd be tempted to write him back and say, "You're right. You could have never made me happy because your d*ck is too small." But that would be childish. lol I would love to tell him that his penis is small lol. But like I have always told him that I will not ever insult him because I have this other level of respect for him. So even though he would throw insults at me I still will not say anything mean. I am not that person . He can just go to hell at this point 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Altair0770 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 As a dude... I'd never do that to a woman. As much as I hate my ex who is a narcissist little... nvm. But still, my ex hurt me terribly and treated me very badly. I still wouldn't have sent that letter. You dodged more than just a bullet here. You deserve so much better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 The more that I think about it, (and I thought a lot about it during my run this morning lol) the more he sounds a little like my ex. Very insecure. Only an insecure person would take the time to actually list how you weren't "good enough" for him. This is merely a ploy to turn things around and make it be your fault, which, in turn, makes him feel superior. Not only is it cowardly, but it's a bit narcissistic too. Typical traits of an insecure person. Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 Oh my. Sending a letter like that is so arrogant. Don't respond at all. You shouldn't be wondering how you can change who you are to keep someone. If who you are isn't enough, move on. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 If who you are isn't enough -- It's never about not being enough, it's about not being the right fit for the other person and likely vice versa . . . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenleaf2004 Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 (edited) The more that I think about it, (and I thought a lot about it during my run this morning lol) the more he sounds a little like my ex. Very insecure. Only an insecure person would take the time to actually list how you weren't "good enough" for him. This is merely a ploy to turn things around and make it be your fault, which, in turn, makes him feel superior. Not only is it cowardly, but it's a bit narcissistic too. Typical traits of an insecure person. Yes this is what. I was thinking. On Sunday he had already said he did not want to be with me I accepted it and he never heard from me again. I do not understand why he had to send me that long long letter. So I'm thinking he did it to further knock me down some more . Or he may have thought that I was going to respond by begging him for a second chance To better. Deep in my heart I know that I tried. I told him who I was from the get go . I never pretended to be something that I was not. Was he expecting me to turn into a brand-new person in order to keep him . And I still don't know what he wanted me to do . At the same time he was making little effort and not even treating me nicely . This is just a bad experience that I want to be over with. I'm giving myself a few more days and then I have to get it to gather it 100% Edited April 28, 2017 by greenleaf2004 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenleaf2004 Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 Oh my. Sending a letter like that is so arrogant. Don't respond at all. You shouldn't be wondering how you can change who you are to keep someone. If who you are isn't enough, move on. It's too late I responded 2 days ago .I briefly told him that I hope he finds what he's looking for . I wish I didn't say a word. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenleaf2004 Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 The more that I think about it, (and I thought a lot about it during my run this morning lol) the more he sounds a little like my ex. Very insecure. Only an insecure person would take the time to actually list how you weren't "good enough" for him. This is merely a ploy to turn things around and make it be your fault, which, in turn, makes him feel superior. Not only is it cowardly, but it's a bit narcissistic too. Typical traits of an insecure person. And when I say he listed what was wrong with me....he did it in great details and that is why the letter was so so long. He kept repeating over and over that "I knew you would not make me happy". And that I knew you would not do what it takes to make me happy. Then he said that whatever I request that is what I should be willing to give to him. The funny thing is that I never requested anything from him other than time .... And I gave him lots of my time Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenleaf2004 Posted April 28, 2017 Author Share Posted April 28, 2017 If who you are isn't enough -- It's never about not being enough, it's about not being the right fit for the other person and likely vice versa . . . Ok I can deal with of the philosophy of not being the right fit. I think he knew that months ago when the situationShip had began. He shouldnt had strung me me along for four months. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 28, 2017 Share Posted April 28, 2017 He's just full of himself. There is no merit to what he's saying, no matter how often he says it. Burn the letter. Delete him from your life & move on. You will be so much better off. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author greenleaf2004 Posted April 29, 2017 Author Share Posted April 29, 2017 Ok so today the lawyer has text messages me 2 times. The first time he messaged me about a funny looking man on the train....I didn't respond . Then he just messaged me about a necklace that I left in his bed. He said maybe he should get it back. I told him don't bother . Toss it in trash 5 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 And now block him on your phone. What a jerk. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GeekLover Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 Teacher to teacher...**** him. I love teaching children and I would not tolerate anyone who felt I was not living up to my potential. There's someone who stands by you and supports you in life, and then there's someone who brings you down only to make themselves look stronger and more successful. He's the latter. See ya Mr. Lawyer! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Spring23 Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 Ok so today the lawyer has text messages me 2 times. The first time he messaged me about a funny looking man on the train....I didn't respond . Then he just messaged me about a necklace that I left in his bed. He said maybe he should get it back. I told him don't bother . Toss it in trash I knew it! These idiot men write the letters to get your attention. They enjoy putting you down and then wait for your response. Men who do this are very sick and abusive. You've dodged a bullet. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 Ok so today the lawyer has text messages me 2 times. The first time he messaged me about a funny looking man on the train....I didn't respond . Then he just messaged me about a necklace that I left in his bed. He said maybe he should get it back. I told him don't bother . Toss it in trash UGH. Look up the law where you live. Find out that statute number for criminal stalking. All statutes / written laws have numbers. Write it down. If he ever sends you another text reply back with that Statute # for example LS 6:66-6. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
1fish2fish Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 There's someone who stands by you and supports you in life, and then there's someone who brings you down only to make themselves look stronger and more successful. I love this! So simple and so true. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 He talked about the ex girlfriends and said one was a slut and he had lots of fun with her. He didnt talk like this in the beginning. He told me that both exs were kinky...... He started talking like this after I slept with him What's betting he was kinky too and realised that you were not likely to want to share the kind of fantasies he had? He is sounding more and more like the judgmental guy I met. If his colleagues think he seeking the perfect girl then it does sound like they think he is a serial dater who is never going to find the 'right' woman. It is quite a cold way of looking at a person really, to see if they match up to a ticklist. I doubt he is capable of caring for anyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
spiderowl Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 And when I say he listed what was wrong with me....he did it in great details and that is why the letter was so so long. He kept repeating over and over that "I knew you would not make me happy". And that I knew you would not do what it takes to make me happy. Then he said that whatever I request that is what I should be willing to give to him. The funny thing is that I never requested anything from him other than time .... And I gave him lots of my time What a jerk! This sounds all about control. He chose to break up with you (he was in control) and now he chooses to write to you to tell you of your supposed failings (he feels in control again). The interesting thing is he did not need to write anything. Writing in itself is a way of seeking attention. I wonder what he expects you to do? By writing he is looking for a response. I would take great pleasure in ignoring him from now onwards and being totally unavailable to him. I would not be surprised if he decided to contact you again for some spurious reason because his ego will not like being ignored. The guy is critical and denigrating. You have done nothing wrong. He probably does this to most women he meets. He has some sort of chip on his shoulder about wanting them to be perfect 'for him'. It's all about him. You do not need a selfish guy like this. It does not matter how he feels, he should be considerate and caring about you and he isn't. Please remember this very important phrase: YOUR FEELINGS MATTER TOO 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 I am a very optimistic person and happy. He is on the other hand very negative and doesn't know how to give compliments. Stay away from negative people, they always want to bring you down to their level. You are dating the man, he is supposed to make you happy, not sad. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BC1980 Posted April 29, 2017 Share Posted April 29, 2017 Ok so today the lawyer has text messages me 2 times. The first time he messaged me about a funny looking man on the train....I didn't respond . Then he just messaged me about a necklace that I left in his bed. He said maybe he should get it back. I told him don't bother . Toss it in trash I figured ignoring him would get under his skin. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts