She's denying her affair just so heartbroken and emotionally drained.

[GoldenR]

I am going to mail her parents the emails and photos. I looked at the 180 and it seems like the opposite of what I should be doing but I won't argue. Trying to make it look like I don't care but I'm devastated. We have two kids and I don't even know what to say.

 

I told her if she doesn't care about me she better atleast care about our children. So she wants to meet OM in person to see if there is a connection. All while I'm supposed to wait here. Is she serious? She's already planning it for next weekend. I will file in a few days.

 

 

You threatened exposure and what did she do? DARVO

 

She thinks she's calling your bluff. Show her you don't bluff.

 

And like has already been said, tell her if she goes that it's over. If she doesn't go, then she has until the D is final to convince you to stop it. And then hard 180.

[Jurassic12]

The feeling of my world crashing down feels like an understatement. I want to expose but I seriously don't know what to say. No one would believe my wife would do this, she had heavy views against adultery and her family is the same way. I'm so worried for our kids even more than myself, I feel light headed and just want to wake up from this nightmare. She said although it looks bad she's not planning to sleep with him, I mean it when I'm telling you if she goes it's over, no coming back. She was happiest wife and mother before she met this guy online. At the same time she tells me she hates seeing me upset and that she cares about me "more than I'll ever know" I don't even recognize her!!!!

 

I feel so torn up inside and I feel like I was hit by a freight train. I am trying everyone I really am.

[BuddyX]

Deep breaths deep breaths. Your wife is gone. Period. Even if you do decide to R, that delicate flower is not coming back.

 

180 big time. She leaves to see the OM, that's an automatic D papers. It's funny how she says she hates to see you like this. I know you just want to tell her "woman, then stop destroying our marriage"

 

Do not tell parents, unless they ask. I.e. "Parents; Why did you leave? You; Um your daughter was unfaithful"

 

Have a plan for the next 24 hours (hint, lawyer). For the next week (hang out with a buddy you can spill your guts to). For the next month (finances if you separate. Ground rules if you R).

 

Listen to this forum. There's too much "poor me" going on in your life. Stay strong.

[harrybrown]

file tomorrow.

 

See your attorney.

 

give him or her the information.

 

Do not let her meet up with him!

 

Draw your line in the sand.

 

It stops now, or she is out of the house.

 

You do not want the OM around your kids!

[GoldenR]

The feeling of my world crashing down feels like an understatement. I want to expose but I seriously don't know what to say. No one would believe my wife would do this, she had heavy views against adultery and her family is the same way. I'm so worried for our kids even more than myself, I feel light headed and just want to wake up from this nightmare. She said although it looks bad she's not planning to sleep with him, I mean it when I'm telling you if she goes it's over, no coming back. She was happiest wife and mother before she met this guy online. At the same time she tells me she hates seeing me upset and that she cares about me "more than I'll ever know" I don't even recognize her!!!!

 

I feel so torn up inside and I feel like I was hit by a freight train. I am trying everyone I really am.

 

As far as what to say....say nothing. Show the emails. Words are not needed.

 

She's in the fog....everything you tell us about her is classic wayward behavior.

 

I'm not planning on sleeping with him = I plan on sleeping with him but not telling you.

 

I care about you more than you know = You're an ok guy, but I need to get my groove on.

 

Do not show weakness. They smell it like a shark smells blood in water.

 

Stay strong, brother. And just know that somehow, some way, things will eventually get better. But they'll never be the same as they were.

[Marc878]

The feeling of my world crashing down feels like an understatement. I want to expose but I seriously don't know what to say.

 

You have the proof/truth. You don't want to believe this is hapening and it'll just go away. So here you sit in a paralyzed state doing nothing while they are planning to consummate their relationship.

 

No one would believe my wife would do this, she had heavy views against adultery and her family is the same way.

 

You are making excuses to do nothing. You have evidence man, cmon. Better wake up !!!!

 

I'm so worried for our kids even more than myself, I feel light headed and just want to wake up from this nightmare.

 

You didn't do this bug you are perhaps the only one that might be able to save their world from blowing up. But you'd better be prepared to act instead of being afraid. Better find your anger. No one deserves this. WAKE UP!!!

 

She said although it looks bad she's not planning to sleep with him, I mean it when I'm telling you if she goes it's over, no coming back. She was happiest wife and mother before she met this guy online. At the same time she tells me she hates seeing me upset and that she cares about me "more than I'll ever know" I don't even recognize her!!!!

 

She's playing you to do nothing while she and her other man do the deed. That way if he doesn't live up to expectations she has her plan B backup. She wants you to sit home and take care of the kids while she goes out and get some hot sex from her other man. Can you not see what's coming at you?!Wake up!!!

 

I feel so torn up inside and I feel like I was hit by a freight train. I am trying everyone I really am.

 

What would you expect your father to do at this time if he was faced with this?

[Marc878]

You know who the other man is. Have you looked online to see if he's married?

[Marc878]

The affair is on your wife. You didn't deserve this. How you handle this is on you.

 

Her and her other man are about to destroy you, your family and your future.

 

Wake up!!!

[Marc878]

You know why your wife is doing this? Because he wants to. She knows you and feels you can be played with no repercussions.

 

She sees a weak Mr Nice Guy who is afraid to stand up for himself and his own kids. She is going to take full advantage of you at this time.

 

You'd better stand up and protect yourself and your kids. If you don't you are at her disposal.

 

Wake up!!!!!

[Marc878]

You don't have much to lose. No decent woman who gave a damn about you or her kids does this.

 

Wake up

[elaine567]

You don't have much to lose. No decent woman who gave a damn about you or her kids does this.

 

Wake up

 

I agree, it is all very cold blooded.

[elaine567]

Sounds like a woman who is very angry and resentful and wants to hurt her husband in one of the worst ways possible.

It may be simply because she has no respect for him, she has no empathy or this perhaps could be a revenge affair...

[Jersey born raised]

Elaine very insightful post.

 

Very long term resentment that as morphed into hatred. If the EA turns into a PA she will bring the OM into the home and into her husbands bed.

 

She hates her husband, justifiable or not. Instead of using a 2x4 to the back of his head, instead of filing, she choose a cowardly method of dealing with the issue. Adulterers always have a streak of cowardice in their character.

 

I have not, nor seen the aspect of cowardice raised when discussing a WS character but it does have a presence.

Edited February 27, 2017 by Jersey born raised

[Jurassic12]

Told her to get her stuff packed and I'll call her a cab to be with her boyfriend and not to come back to the house. Told me she loves me but doesn't think she's in love with me ouch that stings she's just trying to justify this. Funny how she told me she still loved me before this affair of hers started. She said she's not going to leave today cause she wants to do it during the weekend.

 

I told her she goes and it's over and there's no coming back no questions asked. She said I've been a crappy husband and I won't even go to MC with her, told her I'm not going until she ends her affair. She told me she's not sure if she's going or not but can't make a decision right now.

 

Her online boyfriend I have online stalked extensively. His name his address marital history family members past jobs. I know his Instagram, facebook and twitter. My wife has sent him worn underwear, her socks and shoes wtf? and bras. Also has sent him a valentines and he sent her one back telling him she can't wait to meet him.

 

I am doing my best to keep straight faced, she's trying to tell me if she goes it won't get physical. She is lying through her teeth. Our son also caught her face timing him today. She is not showing a shred of remorse, I can't help think what this other guy is that I'm not. I'm sure everyone is going to be shocked because I will expose to everyone if she goes. We definitely had a good marriage before this.

Edited February 27, 2017 by Jurassic12

[Marc878]

Is the other man married?

[Marc878]

IMO you should expose now. Waiting for them to consummate their affair will just make this worse.

 

Look up affair exposure letters modify it to suit you and send it out tomorrow.

 

Without warning. She does not get that you are serious.

 

Waiting gets you nothing.

 

What you are saying to her is you don't like her sexting, face timing, sending him her panties but it's ok? Just don't go have sex with him?

 

By the way your wife is a lying cheater already so sex will just add to the list. They are meeting to bang not talk and drink coffee.

[Marc878]

Told her to get her stuff packed and I'll call her a cab to be with her boyfriend and not to come back to the house. Told me she loves me but doesn't think she's in love with me ouch that stings she's just trying to justify this. Funny how she told me she still loved me before this affair of hers started. She said she's not going to leave today cause she wants to do it during the weekend.

 

Cheater script. This is very typical. Justifying her actions

 

I told her she goes and it's over and there's no coming back no questions asked. She said I've been a crappy husband and I won't even go to MC with her, told her I'm not going until she ends her affair. She told me she's not sure if she's going or not but can't make a decision right now.

 

MC during an affair is worthless.

 

Her online boyfriend I have online stalked extensively. His name his address marital history family members past jobs. I know his Instagram, facebook and twitter. My wife has sent him worn underwear, her socks and shoes wtf? and bras. Also has sent him a valentines and he sent her one back telling him she can't wait to meet him.

 

You should have already exposed this. Why are you waiting?

 

I am doing my best to keep straight faced, she's trying to tell me if she goes it won't get physical. She is lying through her teeth. Our son also caught her face timing him today. She is not showing a shred of remorse, I can't help think what this other guy is that I'm not. I'm sure everyone is going to be shocked because I will expose to everyone if she goes. We definitely had a good marriage before this.

 

Good god, what do you think your kids are thinking? Where's dad? They aren't stupid. Apparently she doesn't care about hiding it from them. Maybe you should think about what kind of example you're setting. They are your kids. Your family.

 

 

At this time you've not taken any action. Again, what is your talking, talking, talking getting you????

 

Wake up. You are still paralyzed from fear.

[Imajerk17]

This is just awful and pathetic.

 

1. So you told her to leave and she said no, she wants to wait until next weekend. And so she gets to stay and that's that.

 

2. And she is trying to negotiate with you getting to go see her online lover "promising" not to get physical (yeah right!) As if she hasn't already broken your wedding vows.

 

3. Your kids already know about the affair, Mom is hardly even tried to hide it from them.

 

Jurassic, you are getting your twinkies eaten here. You keep bluffing without following through. What action have you even taken. Why haven't you kicked her out and filed for divorce yet. And exposed her lying cheating ass to her parents.

[GoldenR]

Jurassic,

 

If she goes to the OM, change the locks on the house as soon as she's gone. At that point, she has chosen her path. Also, document, document, document everything.

[whichwayisup]

The feeling of my world crashing down feels like an understatement. I want to expose but I seriously don't know what to say. No one would believe my wife would do this, she had heavy views against adultery and her family is the same way. I'm so worried for our kids even more than myself, I feel light headed and just want to wake up from this nightmare. She said although it looks bad she's not planning to sleep with him, I mean it when I'm telling you if she goes it's over, no coming back. She was happiest wife and mother before she met this guy online. At the same time she tells me she hates seeing me upset and that she cares about me "more than I'll ever know" I don't even recognize her!!!!

 

I feel so torn up inside and I feel like I was hit by a freight train. I am trying everyone I really am.

 

Call them and cry to them about it. That you are devastated but have no choice but to divorce her and tell them she's having an affair and wants to meet up with this OM.

[whichwayisup]

Told her to get her stuff packed and I'll call her a cab to be with her boyfriend and not to come back to the house. Told me she loves me but doesn't think she's in love with me ouch that stings she's just trying to justify this. Funny how she told me she still loved me before this affair of hers started. She said she's not going to leave today cause she wants to do it during the weekend.

 

I told her she goes and it's over and there's no coming back no questions asked. She said I've been a crappy husband and I won't even go to MC with her, told her I'm not going until she ends her affair. She told me she's not sure if she's going or not but can't make a decision right now.

 

Her online boyfriend I have online stalked extensively. His name his address marital history family members past jobs. I know his Instagram, facebook and twitter. My wife has sent him worn underwear, her socks and shoes wtf? and bras. Also has sent him a valentines and he sent her one back telling him she can't wait to meet him.

 

I am doing my best to keep straight faced, she's trying to tell me if she goes it won't get physical. She is lying through her teeth. Our son also caught her face timing him today. She is not showing a shred of remorse, I can't help think what this other guy is that I'm not. I'm sure everyone is going to be shocked because I will expose to everyone if she goes. We definitely had a good marriage before this.

 

Tell her to get out of the house and stop allowing her to give you excuses as to why she can't leave until the weekend. She can go stay with her parents or a woman friends house.

 

She's in a fog and so messed up, one minute she's nice to you, the next minute she's cruel and saying awful things.

 

Tomorrow, call your own parents, your best male buddy and let them know what's been going on and also call a lawyer. Just be prepared.

[Jurassic12]

I told her I want her out of the house and she needs to leave. She is refusing to leave. With regards to the weekend thing, she meant that she's waiting until this weekend to go see OM. So she can "see where they stand" which means bang him all weekend. She has not flat out said who she wants to be with by her actions are saying this loser. So I can kick her out cause she's refusing to leave, refusing to stop talking to him saying she hasn't been this happy in so long. Tommorrow I am going to inform her patients, hopefully I can gather the strength to file. I really wish she just comes to her senses, so much memories and amazing times we've had together. We had a great family trip to Disney world with our kids, she told me how much she loved me. Now she can't decide between me and some guy she met and wants to meet up this weekend to see if they have a connection.

[Marc878]

That's your problem you are seeing her for who you thought she was not what she is. You are just hoping this all goes away. In the meantime your inaction just makes this worse.

 

Exposure usually will end an affair. It shocks them back into reality.

 

You keep making excuses at your own peril. Why?

 

Is the guy married? Or not? Do you know?

[EZNona]

Told her to get her stuff packed and I'll call her a cab to be with her boyfriend and not to come back to the house. Told me she loves me but doesn't think she's in love with me ouch that stings she's just trying to justify this. Funny how she told me she still loved me before this affair of hers started. She said she's not going to leave today cause she wants to do it during the weekend.

 

I told her she goes and it's over and there's no coming back no questions asked. She said I've been a crappy husband and I won't even go to MC with her, told her I'm not going until she ends her affair. She told me she's not sure if she's going or not but can't make a decision right now.

 

Her online boyfriend I have online stalked extensively. His name his address marital history family members past jobs. I know his Instagram, facebook and twitter. My wife has sent him worn underwear, her socks and shoes wtf? and bras. Also has sent him a valentines and he sent her one back telling him she can't wait to meet him.

 

I am doing my best to keep straight faced, she's trying to tell me if she goes it won't get physical. She is lying through her teeth. Our son also caught her face timing him today. She is not showing a shred of remorse, I can't help think what this other guy is that I'm not. I'm sure everyone is going to be shocked because I will expose to everyone if she goes. We definitely had a good marriage before this.

 

I can't stress this enough. This woman has lost her dam mind!!!!

And you say, IF she goes to visit her boyfriend it's over?? What??? The fact she is even contemplating this and still talking to this loser should be enough to say it's over.

 

Listen, I am a woman and for a woman to do something like this to her husband....well, it means she cares ZERO for him. ZERO.

 

I mean, you're getting bumped for an online affair that hasn't even been realized in person yet AND she's talking about meeting him even after the affair has been exposed. She actually wants you to wait around and see how this meetup will go between her and her BF to determine how things should move forward for you two?? This woman is certifiable and I hate to be so blunt...but she's pretty dumb and she must think you're a chump.

 

I mean this next part I'm going to say in a nice way and for your own sake of sanity. Please get your manhood together and tell this woman to GET OUT AND GET LOST! She is by far one of the worst.

[GoldenR]

I told her I want her out of the house and she needs to leave. She is refusing to leave. With regards to the weekend thing, she meant that she's waiting until this weekend to go see OM. So she can "see where they stand" which means bang him all weekend. She has not flat out said who she wants to be with by her actions are saying this loser. So I can kick her out cause she's refusing to leave, refusing to stop talking to him saying she hasn't been this happy in so long. Tommorrow I am going to inform her patients, hopefully I can gather the strength to file. I really wish she just comes to her senses, so much memories and amazing times we've had together. We had a great family trip to Disney world with our kids, she told me how much she loved me. Now she can't decide between me and some guy she met and wants to meet up this weekend to see if they have a connection.

 

You can't legally "kick her out",but once she guess to him, that can be considered abandonment, at which point you change the locks and leave her **** outside.

 

Expose to everyone, her family, your family, friends of both of you.