She's denying her affair just so heartbroken and emotionally drained.

[Friskyone4u]

I don't know if she uses this guy for validation or what. She literally was taking photos of herself in lingerie she wanted to model for him, ridiculous. As much as I'm heartbroken to the core I cannot fall apart over this. This is a women who was thoughtful, rational, and I thought cared about our marriage. Yep we have two kids 10 and 12. The whole time, all this texting and laughing on her phone was her sexting and telling her how much she wanted to **** him and how much she loves him. How I don't give her attention, broke into her email once more and found out she has sent him used undergarments of hers.

 

My heart has been destroyed, torched. She wasn't even mean to me before I found out. I am going to file **** this **** and **** her. Please excuse the language..

 

Jur,

 

You do realize how abusive this is when you confront her and she denies it and still continues. And then threatens to divorce you if you interfere???

 

I know you will not believe it now, but she has made it easier for you to know and do what you must. She has given you two very clear choices and you do not even have to get any more "evidence"

(1) get her out of your life

(2) live in the open marriage she has signed you up for

 

I know it is painful but get to an attorney Monday morning and make this real for her. After your latest posts, I seriously doubt if even that is going to end this behavior. You will probably get anger.

 

And stop feeling bad for breaking into her privacy. Lucky as hell for you that you did.

[road]

I saved the evidence and she told me if I go through her emails again without asking she is going to divorce me. As much as it hurt I said okay, pack your bags and go be with your OM.

 

She then said, so you want me to leave? You're willing to throw me away just like that? Says the women who's having a high school teenage affair. She is still speaking to this boyfriend of hers.

 

Typical WW trying to control her BH so she can cake eat and keep her

affair with the OM.

 

 

Divorce her, tell her to pack up and leave now.

[Marc878]

I don't know if she uses this guy for validation or what. She literally was taking photos of herself in lingerie she wanted to model for him, ridiculous. As much as I'm heartbroken to the core I cannot fall apart over this. This is a women who was thoughtful, rational, and I thought cared about our marriage. Yep we have two kids 10 and 12. The whole time, all this texting and laughing on her phone was her sexting and telling her how much she wanted to **** him and how much she loves him. How I don't give her attention, broke into her email once more and found out she has sent him used undergarments of hers.

 

My heart has been destroyed, torched. She wasn't even mean to me before I found out. I am going to file **** this **** and **** her. Please excuse the language..

 

Typical cheater. Rewriting the marital history to justify her actions. There is no justification. Filing may wake her up but doing nothing will get you more of what you're getting

[GoldenR]

I don't know if she uses this guy for validation or what. She literally was taking photos of herself in lingerie she wanted to model for him, ridiculous. As much as I'm heartbroken to the core I cannot fall apart over this. This is a women who was thoughtful, rational, and I thought cared about our marriage. Yep we have two kids 10 and 12. The whole time, all this texting and laughing on her phone was her sexting and telling her how much she wanted to **** him and how much she loves him. How I don't give her attention, broke into her email once more and found out she has sent him used undergarments of hers.

 

My heart has been destroyed, torched. She wasn't even mean to me before I found out. I am going to file **** this **** and **** her. Please excuse the language..

 

 

Jurassic -

 

Expose, expose, expose.

 

You have the emails.....SHOW EVERYONE. Her parents, her siblings, your family, and OM's mom.

[BuddyX]

Quite a few cases just like yours on LS in the past few months. WW and BH. They all seem to follow the same pattern.

 

•H has a gut feeling

•Asks W if she's having an affair (she denies)

•Gathers evidence

•Confronts

•WW plays victim (DARVO). WW Moves out

•Divorce papers are served

•WWs mind magically eareses the affair Fog

•WW now wants to R and tells BH "You're my only love"

Edited February 26, 2017 by BuddyX
Grammar

[thummper]

I read a reply on another forum in which the writer says, "Just Let Them Go."

Wish them well with their new love, and help them pack, is the gist of the comments.

[lolablue17]

No matter if you divorce her or not, you can try to stop if for the moment. Contact th OM, and Send him photo of your children, saying that he ruins the family of these children. These children will live in a broken family and two houses, because of a little amusement and fun that he's having with your wife, thank you very much.

 

It may cause him to take a step back. While this, file for divorce and hand her the papers. you have no idea the huge effect of a n official document can cause.

[Jurassic12]

I told her I'm going to be filing on Monday so it's best she gets her stuff in order. She is saying she doesn't want our marriage to end, she is just confused. OM and her have planned to meet up and coming from her it's not to sleep together, haha the irony. I have told her okay so our marriage is over then. I hope you're happy for throwing this all away and breaking mine and our children's hearts.

 

I told her if she meets OM and doesn't stop talking to him right now kiss everything goodbye. She said she hates seeing me so upset and she will stop. Told her I am still going to file.

 

As for the other guy, he's completely aware she's married and has a family. It's not stopping him from getting racy photos of her. I think her parents will be pretty pissed if I sent them the photos and messages.

[GoldenR]

I told her I'm going to be filing on Monday so it's best she gets her stuff in order. She is saying she doesn't want our marriage to end, she is just confused. OM and her have planned to meet up and coming from her it's not to sleep together, haha the irony. I have told her okay so our marriage is over then. I hope you're happy for throwing this all away and breaking mine and our children's hearts.

 

I told her if she meets OM and doesn't stop talking to him right now kiss everything goodbye. She said she hates seeing me so upset and she will stop. Told her I am still going to file.

 

As for the other guy, he's completely aware she's married and has a family. It's not stopping him from getting racy photos of her. I think her parents will be pretty pissed if I sent them the photos and messages.

 

 

Do not let up just bc she's saying OK. Words mean nothing coming from a wayward. Only actions matter.

[road]

Jurassic -

 

Expose, expose, expose.

 

You have the emails.....SHOW EVERYONE. Her parents, her siblings, your family, and OM's mom.

 

I am surprised that this has not been done yet.

[Marc878]

I told her I'm going to be filing on Monday so it's best she gets her stuff in order. She is saying she doesn't want our marriage to end, she is just confused. OM and her have planned to meet up and coming from her it's not to sleep together, haha the irony. I have told her okay so our marriage is over then. I hope you're happy for throwing this all away and breaking mine and our children's hearts.

 

I told her if she meets OM and doesn't stop talking to him right now kiss everything goodbye. She said she hates seeing me so upset and she will stop. Told her I am still going to file.

 

As for the other guy, he's completely aware she's married and has a family. It's not stopping him from getting racy photos of her. I think her parents will be pretty pissed if I sent them the photos and messages.

 

Your attempts to manipulate her won't work. "I'm gonna do this if you don't stop stuff." That's all you're doing is talking. At best she'll just take it underground.

 

Talking to OM is useless. He could care less about you or you're kids.

 

Your fear of making her mad or pushing her away (she's already left) are unfounded. Does it bother her that you don't like what she's doing?

 

Better wake up. Exposure is your only weapon here. All at once without warning. At this time all you are doing is helping hide their affair. Which enables it further. She's playing you like a fiddle.

 

What have actually done? Nothing but talk. Which is interpreted as weak.

 

If the other man is married inform his wife but you'd better implement the 180 and take yourself out of infidelity.

[Jurassic12]

I told her it would be a shame if her parents had picture proof of what their married daughter is saying to this man she met online. Her response "It's none of their business, why would they mad that a man is treating me like a man should? He's treated me better and has shown me more attention than you ever have. That I found a man who actually loves me? I'm telling her to go to him then. She then uses that to say SEE I don't care about her at all and am trying to throw her away. She said she wants us to go to counseling...

[Marc878]

Read up " No More Mr Nice Guy" free PDF download.

 

Quit acting like a little boy "I'm gonna tell on you"!

 

Men take action. Don't let your weakness define you. This could possibly be why you are where you are.

[bubbaganoosh]

I told her it would be a shame if her parents had picture proof of what their married daughter is saying to this man she met online. Her response "It's none of their business, why would they mad that a man is treating me like a man should? He's treated me better and has shown me more attention than you ever have. That I found a man who actually loves me? I'm telling her to go to him then. She then uses that to say SEE I don't care about her at all and am trying to throw her away. She said she wants us to go to counseling...

 

Her problem is that she wants everything her way and for you to accept it without question. When you file for divorce, come home, pack her bags and tell her to call the guy and have her tell him she's on her way ALONE and for her not to come back.

 

While your at it, call her family and give them the information and proof you have. Let them see that it's not a lie and that you've had it with her. Take care of your kids and move on with your life.

[whichwayisup]

I told her it would be a shame if her parents had picture proof of what their married daughter is saying to this man she met online. Her response "It's none of their business, why would they mad that a man is treating me like a man should? He's treated me better and has shown me more attention than you ever have. That I found a man who actually loves me? I'm telling her to go to him then. She then uses that to say SEE I don't care about her at all and am trying to throw her away. She said she wants us to go to counseling...

 

Her head is up her a.ss right now, big time!

 

Who cares what she says right now, she's not thinking clearly and she's in a total fog. She believes this fantasy guy is all that? Well, she's about to find out soon enough. You've been a good husband to her, she knows this but is doing the typical MM/MW cheater thing, rewriting marital history to justify what she's doing.

 

DO tell her parents what's going on and why you're filing for divorce and why she is moving out. No need to show them the emails or pictures though.

 

Get her OUT of the house today, tell her to go to the OM or move in with her parents, that you don't want her around you anymore.

[EZNona]

I told her it would be a shame if her parents had picture proof of what their married daughter is saying to this man she met online. Her response "It's none of their business, why would they mad that a man is treating me like a man should? He's treated me better and has shown me more attention than you ever have. That I found a man who actually loves me? I'm telling her to go to him then. She then uses that to say SEE I don't care about her at all and am trying to throw her away. She said she wants us to go to counseling...

 

Your wife is throwing away her everyday livelihood for a man that she's never met and lives in his momma's basement??

 

I think it's safe to say that your wife has lost her dam mind! I'm very open-minded for reconciliation after an affair if the WS is remorseful and serious about preparing the marriage.

 

But your wife? It's a big fat NO. Leave this one behind. She is choosing to disrespect you on and a daily basis and has zero remorse for it.

[Marc878]

I told her it would be a shame if her parents had picture proof of what their married daughter is saying to this man she met online. Her response "It's none of their business, why would they mad that a man is treating me like a man should? He's treated me better and has shown me more attention than you ever have. That I found a man who actually loves me? I'm telling her to go to him then. She then uses that to say SEE I don't care about her at all and am trying to throw her away. She said she wants us to go to counseling...

 

You can't make her do anything. Attempting to manipulate her will get you nothing.

 

Cheater script - use any issues or problems to justify the affair. You can't win an argument. You are attempting to rationalize the irrational. You can never win this with talk. She's rubbing this in your face now.

 

Why? Because she doesn't think you'll take any action.

 

Marriage counseling in an ongoing affair is worthless.

 

I doubt you'll listen but only your action of taking yourself out of infidelity (moving her out of your bedroom, actually filing, etc) or exposure has any chance to stop this.

 

Apparently she thinks all you're going to do is talk and she can do as she pleases without consequences. You are in a bad spot and past inaction maybe what put you here.

 

Better wake up.

[lolablue17]

This cheating is not your fault, even if you weren't the perfect husband. But what happens from now on is on you, man... If you agree to put up with this treatment you get from her, you can't blame anyone but yourself.

[bigman1]

Dude, who cares what her parents think? Are you trying to firce her to stay married to you? Let her go. It is painful and life changing, I get that. Still, what you are doing us going to cone back and be soul killing. Groveling, threatening, cajoling and all variations of pick me cost YOU. 180. Tell her to go. Good bue. Door closed. Don't do this countdown type stuff or line drawing stuff.

 

It's har. Sorry your wife turned out to be a bad one. Still, you gotta be strong and plan on life without her.

[Jurassic12]

I am going to mail her parents the emails and photos. I looked at the 180 and it seems like the opposite of what I should be doing but I won't argue. Trying to make it look like I don't care but I'm devastated. We have two kids and I don't even know what to say.

 

I told her if she doesn't care about me she better atleast care about our children. So she wants to meet OM in person to see if there is a connection. All while I'm supposed to wait here. Is she serious? She's already planning it for next weekend. I will file in a few days.

[whichwayisup]

I am going to mail her parents the emails and photos. I looked at the 180 and it seems like the opposite of what I should be doing but I won't argue. Trying to make it look like I don't care but I'm devastated. We have two kids and I don't even know what to say.

 

I told her if she doesn't care about me she better atleast care about our children. So she wants to meet OM in person to see if there is a connection. All while I'm supposed to wait here. Is she serious? She's already planning it for next weekend. I will file in a few days.

 

You tell her if she goes to meet him, that's it, you're done and there's no coming back.

 

Please don't email her parents the photo's or emails. Spare them the actual details, they don't need to see the visuals of what their daughter has to been up to. If they ask to see them, that's different. Just tell them that she met someone online and has been having an affair, you told her if she goes to meet him, the marriage is over. And say, with a heavy heart I'm telling you this and the fact your daughter and I will be getting a divorce since she's chosen another man over us, the kids and our life together.

[Marc878]

I am going to mail her parents the emails and photos. I looked at the 180 and it seems like the opposite of what I should be doing but I won't argue. Trying to make it look like I don't care but I'm devastated. We have two kids and I don't even know what to say.

 

I told her if she doesn't care about me she better atleast care about our children. So she wants to meet OM in person to see if there is a connection. All while I'm supposed to wait here. Is she serious? She's already planning it for next weekend. I will file in a few days.

 

If you chase at a time like this it will push them further away. If you beg, plead and cry you devalue yourself and get even less respect. You played this wrong. You must deal with strength. Through actions. Talk as you've found does nothing. Exposure should be done all at once without warning. Quit talking start doing. Time is not on your side.

 

Blood is thicker than water. Her parents in most cases will side with her. Expect it.

 

She's extremely selfish and at this time could care less what you think. Better stand up for yourself because no one else is going to. If they meet you can be guaranteed it'll be a sexual affair.

 

Cheaters lie a lot. Look up the other guy and see if he's married. Chances are he is. You can't believe anything your wayward wife tells you at this time.

 

Better get moving. Get out of any denial of what you're dealing with and who she is or has be gone. She's way ahead of you.

 

If you're smart you'll do a hard 180. The harder the better. If she goes to meet him bag her stuff up and get her out of your bedroom.

 

File immediately, you can always stop it or delay if her actions warrant.

Edited February 26, 2017 by Marc878

[Marc878]

You must respect yourself and your own boundaries. If you don't she drew won't.

 

If you can't get strong now you will be relegated to doormat status.

 

Don't expect her to all of a sudden have an epfiany and be the wonderful faithfull wife you picture her as in your mind.

 

Don't threaten anything you can't or won't carry out. That will just put you in worse shape.

[Imajerk17]

This thread is such an extremely painful read, even by the standards of this sub forum.

 

OP, I am aware it is your world that just came crashing down, but it sounds to me that you are procrastinating. I mean, why would you *mail* her parents (which takes a couple days to get there) instead of calling them *now* (or depending on your time zone at the next polite hour) and disclosing. Meanwhile, I'd get to filing for divorce ASAP, and having a conversation w your kids. Moving unilaterally at this point is entirely justified.

 

I mean, your wife ALREADY disrespected her vows unilaterally. So now it is your turn.

 

We're all rooting for you OP, but you need to be taking a stronger stand than this.

[thummper]

Help her pack and wish her well in her new relationship, then go full 180. Just let her know you won't be there for her when she comes back.