Imajerk17 Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 (edited) I actually have clincial (a 9 hour nursing shift) every Friday at a huge hospital. So I see lots of cute guys when I'm there. Docs, nurses, PAs. So theres opportunities. I'm just too scared to say anything to them lol. One guy said hi to me a few weeks ago. But that was the only time. Guy dont like to say hi to me...it sucks! I need to work on being more bold and putting myself out there...its just hard because I'm shy Ya OLD made me depressed too! Omg same thing! I'd open a message and be like, Oh god Ya I think its time to call OLD quits Well, these are my general thoughts. 1. You don't need to work on being "bold" so much as being approachable--(some) smiling, making eye contact, ect. This goes both away from and inside of work (where guys might not approach because it would look unprofessional). It is on us to approach, but if your physical demeanour says "keep away", most of us will honour that. It is just as ingrained in us NOT to be the creep who doesn't leave a woman who doesn't want to be bothered alone. 2. Any time you catch yourself throwing a pity party, remember that you ARE getting dates and getting guys interested in you. You've turned down your share of second dates, and likely many of those guys were decent guys, even if you weren't attracted to them. Very likely THESE guys walked away from not getting a second date w you wondering what it would take for THEM to find someone nice. I am not saying you should be with someone whom you're not feeling it for, I am saying that a change of perspective may do you good. Dating is tough for everyone at times. Edited February 16, 2017 by Imajerk17 2
KBob Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Ya OLD made me depressed too! Omg same thing! I'd open a message and be like, Oh god Ya I think its time to call OLD quits I deleted all of my OLD apps a couple weeks ago and I feel f*****g great! As it stands now I don't think I'll ever go back. Being out there in the real world forces you to work on being more confident and less shy, and thus is much more healthy and productive than burying your face in a phone or computer. Just my two cents. 4
bluefeather Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 I agree that I dont think its going to happen from OLD If you have that mindset, I believe you. I'm into the occult too, but I also believe that we shape our own lives... To me, it's not that I think most card readers are fake. It's that very few are skilled enough at reading them to give such a specific prediction. Besides that, as you said, the future is always changing. If you make expectations based off tarot (like meeting a guy by a certain time), that can be a spell for disappointment =P 2
Author Dis Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 Well, these are my general thoughts. 1. You don't need to work on being "bold" so much as being approachable--(some) smiling, making eye contact, ect. This goes both away from and inside of work (where guys might not approach because it would look unprofessional). It is on us to approach, but if your physical demeanour says "keep away", most of us will honour that. It is just as ingrained in us NOT to be the creep who doesn't leave a woman who doesn't want to be bothered alone. 2. Any time you catch yourself throwing a pity party, remember that you ARE getting dates and getting guys interested in you. You've turned down your share of second dates, and likely many of those guys were decent guys, even if you weren't attracted to them. Very likely THESE guys walked away from not getting a second date w you wondering what it would take for THEM to find someone nice. I am not saying you should be with someone whom you're not feeling it for, I am saying that a change of perspective may do you good. Dating is tough for everyone at times. Ok, being more approachable is something I can def do. I've noticed how closed off I am when I'm out running errands or at clinical. Going to work on that tomorrow I actually havent turned that many guys down. I think maybe 2 or 3? The rest it just didnt work out. I know they were left wishing they'd find someone just like I am. I did really hurt that really sweet guy back in July. I was curious about him and looked him up, hes still on POF I do realize that guys have it really tough with OLD, a lot tougher than I do so thanks for the reality check. Some guys post about have they have a hard time getting a date so...I am lucky in some ways
Author Dis Posted February 16, 2017 Author Posted February 16, 2017 If you have that mindset, I believe you. I'm into the occult too, but I also believe that we shape our own lives... To me, it's not that I think most card readers are fake. It's that very few are skilled enough at reading them to give such a specific prediction. Besides that, as you said, the future is always changing. If you make expectations based off tarot (like meeting a guy by a certain time), that can be a spell for disappointment =P It really was a disappointment! I was totally banking on that I'm so glad to talk to someone who has some insight on this topic! Of course we can change the course of our futures to a certain degree, every move we make can change things Ya I was wondering how he could be that specific too...but it sounded great to me so I believed it I've tried reading my own cards and using my pendulum but I always skew the results because I feel so strongly about this. I turn to divination because I'm so desperate for an answer as to when its going to happen...but divination isnt my area of expertise...so I'm left with no answers
Miss Spider Posted February 16, 2017 Posted February 16, 2017 Dis, what happened with the guy back in July ? I missed that story 1
bluefeather Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 It really was a disappointment! I was totally banking on that I'm so glad to talk to someone who has some insight on this topic! Of course we can change the course of our futures to a certain degree, every move we make can change things Ya I was wondering how he could be that specific too...but it sounded great to me so I believed it I've tried reading my own cards and using my pendulum but I always skew the results because I feel so strongly about this. I turn to divination because I'm so desperate for an answer as to when its going to happen...but divination isnt my area of expertise...so I'm left with no answers Someone could start a brand new thread about that stuff.. on second thought, it might turn into a weird debate, so nvm, haha.. 1
Imajerk17 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 (edited) Ok, being more approachable is something I can def do. I've noticed how closed off I am when I'm out running errands or at clinical. Going to work on that tomorrow I actually havent turned that many guys down. I think maybe 2 or 3? The rest it just didnt work out. I know they were left wishing they'd find someone just like I am. I did really hurt that really sweet guy back in July. I was curious about him and looked him up, hes still on POF I do realize that guys have it really tough with OLD, a lot tougher than I do so thanks for the reality check. Some guys post about have they have a hard time getting a date so...I am lucky in some ways If you are still interested in that guy, why not send him a text or an email. Say you were sorry for what happened last summer and offer to take him out for dinner, your treat. You can wordsmith what I just wrote. You only dated for a month so it's not that you are, to use common terminology in the LS Breakup Section, commiting the sin of "throwing him breadcrumbs"... Edited February 17, 2017 by Imajerk17
winny Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I think after a point we need to accept that as human beings there is only so much that we can do and as long as you are doing that and trying, there is hope. I have deleted my OLD profiles but I have not given up hope. 2
Author Dis Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 He texted me a couple of hours ago... "Hey, Happy Friday! I hope your week has gone well. I'll see you tomorrow, looking forward to it." I'm not sure how to tell him the date is off (in a nice way) What should I say?
Marc878 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 I'd go and order the most expensive thing on the menu. Good wine etc then after the meal say thanks but I'm lesbian. Did I Mention that? Ooopppss!!! 3
goldway90 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 He texted me a couple of hours ago... "Hey, Happy Friday! I hope your week has gone well. I'll see you tomorrow, looking forward to it." I'm not sure how to tell him the date is off (in a nice way) What should I say? There's no nice way to reject a guy lol just text him that you're sorry but you're not interested anymore. Simple, straight to the point. 2
elaine567 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 On some sites/apps, people of certain ages are prevented automatically from communicating with people outside that age group. That's just one reason I've heard. I can't remember which one, maybe POF, but anyway...I know I've heard that it prevents people more than I think 15 years older from contacting one another. If it's just a difference of a couple "more" years that is one reason some people flat-out lie about their ages...I think more usually men, but who knows, women probably do this too. But even then, has he really changed his age so he can date 22 year olds..?
Author Dis Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 I think after a point we need to accept that as human beings there is only so much that we can do and as long as you are doing that and trying, there is hope. I have deleted my OLD profiles but I have not given up hope. I have pity parties sometimes and say I'm done and blah blah But I want it too bad to give up I can give up on OLD, but I dont think I'll ever give up hope that I'll find someone
Author Dis Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 There's no nice way to reject a guy lol just text him that you're sorry but you're not interested anymore. Simple, straight to the point. Ahhh...cant I just say, 'I cant go, I'm sorry' ???
Shanex Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Ahhh...cant I just say, 'I cant go, I'm sorry' ??? Still better than ghosting him. I've had very few ladies flat out tell me "sorry as an afterthought, I think you're an ass and don't want to meet ya" Usually people vanish, men or women. 2
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 But even then, has he really changed his age so he can date 22 year olds..? Who knows? I was actually answering a general question as to why people lie about age. This is one reason I have heard directly from people who have done it, yes, to be 40somerhing looking for early 20s or whatever.
Author Dis Posted February 17, 2017 Author Posted February 17, 2017 Still better than ghosting him. I've had very few ladies flat out tell me "sorry as an afterthought, I think you're an ass and don't want to meet ya" Usually people vanish, men or women. Omg I would never say something like that! Nor would I just disappear I think I'll just say, 'Sorry I cant make it' and leave it at that??? 1
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Ahhh...cant I just say, 'I cant go, I'm sorry' ??? Bite the bullet and gently but firmly tell him you have thought about it a bit more and you would prefer not to date him. If you say you can't go because of Sudden Circumstance X, that's cruel, because then he'll try for another date, wonder why you're still avoiding and whether he should keep pursuing or what...it would leave him hanging and wasting more time. 3
goldway90 Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Ahhh...cant I just say, 'I cant go, I'm sorry' ??? Of course you can but then he'll text back " Why not?" (especially if he thinks everything is fine and dandy lol) and you'll have to explain your reasons which i know you simply don't wanna do. 2
Purepony Posted February 17, 2017 Posted February 17, 2017 Just tell him you plan on working things out with your ex He can't questions it and he'll move on It's the easiest out 1
Miss Spider Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 I go with lie or just say sorry you can't make it tomorrow, something came up, and never speak again. x.x 1
Author Dis Posted February 18, 2017 Author Posted February 18, 2017 I go with lie or just say sorry you can't make it tomorrow, something came up, and never speak again. x.x Lmaooo girl! Thats what I was thinking! I think I'm just going to go with that I'd like to just give him the truth but I'm on 4 hours of sleep and I had a 9 hour clinical at the hospital today...I'm spent
CaliforniaGirl Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 Lmaooo girl! Thats what I was thinking! I think I'm just going to go with that I'd like to just give him the truth but I'm on 4 hours of sleep and I had a 9 hour clinical at the hospital today...I'm spent Dis, is that what you would want to happen to you? Would you want some guy you really like to say "Dis, I'm so sorry, going to have to miss our date this weekend, something came up" and then have you over the next days or weeks keep wondering when he's going to call...why he doesn't call...whether you should call him, or will that just make you seem desperate...or anything else that people here spend pages of posts agonizing over? Haven't even you done this here, for that matter? Wondered, worried, thought maybe you did something wrong, wondered if some guy or other wasn't asking for a date so YOU should ask, and so on? Didn't it all feel pretty bad? Why do that to someone else? Just say (even if you need to do it by text), "I'm so sorry. I am going to have to cancel. I will be honest: I just don't feel I want to pursue dating with you. I wish you the best." It's that simple. Yes, after that he may send questioning texts and be annoying...or he may not...but if he does, at least you have not left him hanging, hoping, wondering, then each day feeling a bit more disappointed..."Oh...she STILL hasn't sent me that text...should I keep waiting..." Just tell him. 7
Miss Spider Posted February 18, 2017 Posted February 18, 2017 lol not even gonna lie that's what I would do. And what I think because that's want done to me. I prefer to just take a hint.
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