Author varicose Posted January 15, 2017 Author Posted January 15, 2017 No, why waste your time? To get closure and move on? Especially if your last interaction with them was pleasant/normal.
ThisisIt606 Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 The ghoster might not even answer and then you'd just be even more upset. The ghoster knows what they did and they probably don't care that much. i know you're probably upset and want to call them out... but they really aren't worth the time or energy. 5
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Yes I would, because they need to know how it affected me, but I would not do it expecting them to come back or any positive results, for that matter. 1
winny Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Not unless I find him dating my best friend.... I understand carrying those residual anger sometimes becomes too much to handle.... if you want to let it out, just write it down on paper and throw it away. Understand that, you did not do anything wrong. Have faith that karma will take care of it. Nothing that you can say will be as powerful as when you leave it to the universe. Absorb all the pain and be silent. Silence is the best answer.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 I did this once, several years back. Just sent my message and that was it. I never got a response, nor did I expect one. I just said my piece and that was the end of it. Would I do it again? It would very much depend on how long the ghoster in question and I had spent together. 2
Author varicose Posted January 15, 2017 Author Posted January 15, 2017 Not unless I find him dating my best friend.... I understand carrying those residual anger sometimes becomes too much to handle.... if you want to let it out, just write it down on paper and throw it away. Understand that, you did not do anything wrong. Have faith that karma will take care of it. Nothing that you can say will be as powerful as when you leave it to the universe. Absorb all the pain and be silent. Silence is the best answer. But it wouldn't even be out of anger, more out of confusion. Just want to know why.
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 But it wouldn't even be out of anger, more out of confusion. Just want to know why. How long had you been dating?
winny Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 But it wouldn't even be out of anger, more out of confusion. Just want to know why. Because he isn't interested. That's it. 5
Author varicose Posted January 15, 2017 Author Posted January 15, 2017 How long had you been dating? About 2 months
ExpatInItaly Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 About 2 months How long ago did you last hear from him?
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 About 2 months 2 months...I think that's enough time to say something. If it had been 2 dates or 2 weeks, then I wouldn't say anything. 1
Author varicose Posted January 15, 2017 Author Posted January 15, 2017 How long ago did you last hear from him? 2 weeks ago.
kassy Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 If he has ghosted any attempt to contact him is unlikely to be responded to, and even if he does explain he probably will say something generic like it's not you it's me... You can get closure from the fact that he doesn't want to see you again and doesn't have the ability or desire to communicate this with you in another way. Just because you want an explanation doesn't mean you will get one. Just move on, forget about him, don't waste your time messaging him and then waiting for him to reply. Which he most likely won't do 2
winny Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 2 months...I think that's enough time to say something. If it had been 2 dates or 2 weeks, then I wouldn't say anything. Its a spineless coward... what can you expect from him.. he would do this... 2 months or 2 years.. 2
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Its a spineless coward... what can you expect from him.. he would do this... 2 months or 2 years.. I'm in agreement with you on that. I still think they should know how what they have done affects someone. The main reason they ghost is because they can't face the pain that they were about the inflict on someone so they just avoid it. They should damn well be made aware of it anyway.
ThisisIt606 Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 But it wouldn't even be out of anger, more out of confusion. Just want to know why. The reason is probably they didn't like you citing 1 or multiple things. The ghoster didn't want to hurt your feelings/ deal with you/however they reasoned it in their heads and just took the easy way out and vanished. Things were trucking along with this guy I was dating for a few months but I wasn't feeling it and I knew he was. i didn't have the heart to ghost him so I called instead citing I didn't feel the chemistry (although there were many actual specific reasons that lead to me feeling no chemistry). 1
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 But it wouldn't even be out of anger, more out of confusion. Just want to know why. I do agree with winny that it's because they aren't interested in you anymore or aren't interested in having a relationship anymore. That is the only answer. I wouldn't contact them to ask why. I would contact them to let them know that it was cruel and hurtful to disappear without letting you know that they no longer wanted to see you.
winny Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 I'm in agreement with you on that. I still think they should know how what they have done affects someone. The main reason they ghost is because they can't face the pain that they were about the inflict on someone so they just avoid it. They should damn well be made aware of it anyway. True, but I don't think it will make any difference anyways... to him or to her. If he had any heart to begin with he wouldn't do this. He will just read the text and act like it wasn't meant for him.
BlueRidgeMT Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Because he isn't interested. That's it. This is it. In a nutshell
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 True, but I don't think it will make any difference anyways... to him or to her. I think it does. There are some ghosters who come back weeks, months or years later apologizing for what they did. It proves that they did have some feeling, they were just cowards at the moment. Or as you say don't havethe heart, but maybe later on they realize what they did was horrible and won't do it again. There are plenty of people who like to do cowardly/messed up things and would be perfectly content to think that nobody was harmed by it. They need to know at least. 1
winny Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 I think it does. There are some ghosters who come back weeks, months or years later apologizing for what they did. It proves that they did have some feeling, they were just cowards at the moment. Or as you say don't havethe heart, but maybe later on they realize what they did was horrible and won't do it again. There are plenty of people who like to do cowardly/messed up things and would be perfectly content to think that nobody was harmed by it. They need to know at least. Yes they do come back, when karma gets to them and someone ghosts them or does something really bad to them n then they realize and come to you and apologize. And I think thats the best course of action... to let them realize it on their own when life gives it back to them... no words would make them realize it as better. 1
Popsicle Posted January 15, 2017 Posted January 15, 2017 Yes they do come back, when karma gets to them and someone ghosts them or does something really bad to them n then they realize and come to you and apologize. And I think thats the best course of action... to let them realize it on their own when life gives it back to them... no words would make them realize it as better. I don't think in every case they get karma before they apologize but karma does eventually come.
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