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Involved with MM [UPDATED]


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FoundMyStrength
Also, where were you when I was devastated, sad, crying? Nowhere. It was ME who picked myself back up and I'm ok. I don't need you now.

 

This is *exactly* how I felt too. When he went back to his hometown and wife, I scraped myself off the floor and put all the pieces back together. My xMM doesn't deserve to have anything to do with what I hope will be an even better, less flawed, more authentic version of myself. He broke it, I bought it.

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I think you have to be extremely careful - it sounds like he is sniffing around to see, if there still might be an opening. You have to be strong and enforce your boundaries when this happens.

 

 

 

What I don't understand is how adiment these men are about being back and working in their M. How they no longer want any contact. Then they start to swoop in again. If it wasn't me I'm sure it would be someone else. I don't think "oh well I'm so special and that's why he's trying." I look at it like he is bored and wants some excitement.

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Midwestmissy

I agree. And you may also want to ask yourself how many other women he's sending the same message. He's very capable at making you feel special, not because he's sincere, but because he's been practicing manipulating people his whole life. It's a skill, and most definitely not a good one.

 

You're smart to stay away. View him as the gross fool that he is. He just gets off on being believed, not being honest. You can teach a parrot to say certain phrases, but the bird doesn't mean anything he says and still gets praise and a cracker. A lot of cheaters are the same - they just know what to say to get a treat. Change the angle at which you view him and you will move on much quicker.

 

I'm a bs. The whole cheating thing is based on deceit and the short con from the start - here's someone who believes my stories, I can make them more fantastic! Then go home and lie to spouses. It's just a game. Honesty and authenticity are harder but last much longer. And being in a relationship where there are no 'losers' or hurt parties is the best, and it's possible. Good luck to you.

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