How to safely break up with a gun-loving psychopath?

[xra]

Hey all, apologies in advance for the long post. I've posted here a few times about my wreck of a romantic life, and you all have fantastic insights - so I could really use some advice.

 

I have recently discovered that my fiance, whom I have been dating for 4 years, living with for 3.5 years, and supposed to be marrying in a few months, has been living a double life. I always thought he was the perfect guy: so kind, sweet, humorous, intelligent, etc etc (insert sarcasm here). Long story short, due to a recent series of unfortunate events, I have learned that he has been wearing a mask for pretty much our entire relationship.

 

He has a second identity (first and last name), which he has been using on Craigslist / local forums / Ashley Madison / other hookup sites to score @$$ for years. He regularly posts on various sites, looking for men, women, transsexuals, and pretty much anything else that moves to have sex with. I only hope that there weren't any minors involved, because God knows that he wasn't picky in his quests for strangers to ****. The evidence I found goes back 2 years, but only because the older history from the websites has simply expired.

 

Learning all of this, I have realized that the man I loved never really existed. I have no idea who this man I'm living with really is, but he SCARES me, because he lies so easily and cleanly. He would go have sex with several men and women after work, then come home for dinner, look me in the eyes, and tell me how much he loves me. I suspect that he might be a legitimate psychopath. I would have NEVER found out the truth, if it wasn't for a freak accident. He has everyone fooled - his family, my family, all of our mutual friends, etc.

 

Obviously, although I feel like my heart has been torn out, I need to end the engagement and the relationship. However, I am getting a bit concerned about how to do this safely. My plan was to tell him everything that I found and ask him to move out. All the family and friends who already received wedding invitations will need to be notified that the wedding is off....And I intend to tell my immediate family and his family, with whom I have become close, that he's been cheating (which is putting it SO mildly). I want them to know the truth about what he is--because otherwise, he will spin his web of lies over everyone again, will probably smear my name, and will most certainly hook another sucker of a girlfriend/wife within a few weeks. I do not want another woman to go through what I am going through right now with this pathological liar and predator.

 

His life will most certainly take a turn for the worse after this relationship is over. Not just because of the embarrassment of his good-boy image crashing down in front of everyone and him being SO deep in the closet, but also because of the logistics of breaking apart everything we've built over the past 4 years. And who knows, maybe he has even convinced himself that he really loves me.

 

Now, he has never once shown me a reason to fear for my safety around him. I cannot imagine him raising a hand to hurt me. But then again, I could not imagine him having unprotected sex with countless male, female, and transsexual strangers over the past 2+ years of our relationship, so I clearly don't know him at all. He owns several guns, including an assault rifle (he's ex-military), and he's an excellent shot. He's also very tall, strong and fast. I can generally stand my own, but I would be no match against him.

 

How do I go about breaking up with him in a way that can ensure my safety? It's complicated because we live together, the lease is in both our names. I also have a cat, whom I cannot abandon. I thought about breaking up with him somewhere public with a go-bag in my car, and then staying with a friend for a couple of nights. However, I will need to go to work once Monday comes around...I will need my clothing, and my electronics, and my cat, and all the other crap at home that I cannot afford to replace. I will need to return to the apartment soon enough, and I don't know how stable he will be (if he is there). And if he doesn't agree to move out, I will need to move somewhere - and packing will take a couple weeks at least.

 

Any ideas / advice? Unfortunately, my family lives very far (out of state). I cannot just up and leave this city, because I have no spare $ and really need my job. I have few connections in this city, to be honest, so the lack of a local support network makes things harder. Has anyone dealt with a situation like this?

Edited December 19, 2016 by xra

[Sweetfish]

Hey all, apologies in advance for the long post. I've posted here a few times about my wreck of a romantic life, and you all have fantastic insights - so I could really use some advice.

 

I have recently discovered that my fiance, whom I have been dating for 4 years, living with for 3.5 years, and supposed to be marrying in a few months, has been living a double life. I always thought he was the perfect guy: so kind, sweet, humorous, intelligent, etc etc (insert sarcasm here). Long story short, due to a recent series of unfortunate events, I have learned that he has been wearing a mask for pretty much our entire relationship.

 

He has a second identity (first and last name), which he has been using on Craigslist / local forums / Ashley Madison / other hookup sites to score @$$ for years. He regularly posts on various sites, looking for men, women, transsexuals, and pretty much anything else that moves to have sex with. I only hope that there weren't any minors involved, because God knows that he wasn't picky in his quests for strangers to ****. The evidence I found goes back 2 years, but only because the older history from the websites has simply expired.

 

Learning all of this, I have realized that the man I loved never really existed. I have no idea who this man I'm living with really is, but he SCARES me, because he lies so easily and cleanly. He would go have sex with several men and women after work, then come home for dinner, look me in the eyes, and tell me how much he loves me. I suspect that he might be a legitimate psychopath. I would have NEVER found out the truth, if it wasn't for a freak accident. He has everyone fooled - his family, my family, all of our mutual friends, etc.

 

Obviously, although I feel like my heart has been torn out, I need to end the engagement and the relationship. However, I am getting a bit concerned about how to do this safely. My plan was to tell him everything that I found and ask him to move out. All the family and friends who already received wedding invitations will need to be notified that the wedding is off....And I intend to tell my immediate family and his family, with whom I have become close, that he's been cheating (which is putting it SO mildly). I want them to know the truth about what he is--because otherwise, he will spin his web of lies over everyone again, will probably smear my name, and will most certainly hook another sucker of a girlfriend/wife within a few weeks. I do not want another woman to go through what I am going through right now with this pathological liar and predator.

 

His life will most certainly take a turn for the worse after this relationship is over. Not just because of the embarrassment of his good-boy image crashing down in front of everyone and him being SO deep in the closet, but also because of the logistics of breaking apart everything we've built over the past 4 years. And who knows, maybe he has even convinced himself that he really loves me.

 

Now, he has never once shown me a reason to fear for my safety around him. I cannot imagine him raising a hand to hurt me. But then again, I could not imagine him having unprotected sex with countless male, female, and transsexual strangers over the past 2+ years of our relationship, so I clearly don't know him at all. He owns several guns, including an assault rifle (he's ex-military), and he's an excellent shot. He's also very tall, strong and fast. I can generally stand my own, but I would be no match against him.

 

How do I go about breaking up with him in a way that can ensure my safety? It's complicated because we live together, the lease is in both our names. I also have a cat, whom I cannot abandon. I thought about breaking up with him somewhere public with a go-bag in my car, and then staying with a friend for a couple of nights. However, I will need to go to work once Monday comes around...I will need my clothing, and my electronics, and my cat, and all the other crap at home that I cannot afford to replace. I will need to return to the apartment soon enough, and I don't know how stable he will be (if he is there). And if he doesn't agree to move out, I will need to move somewhere - and packing will take a couple weeks at least.

 

Any ideas / advice? Unfortunately, my family lives very far (out of state). I cannot just up and leave this city, because I have no spare $ and really need my job. I have few connections in this city, to be honest, so the lack of a local support network makes things harder. Has anyone dealt with a situation like this?

 

 

You knew this guy was a liar months ago... no years ago. Every thread you posted everyone said to leave. You still haven't left. What advice will you gain here?

 

Ex-military guy and you want to do a smear campaign. Not a good idea. How about you just break-up with him and see how he takes that. Also, get your self tested. Like yesterday.

 

Save all the info you got.. just in case.

[umirano]

1. gather your belongings
   
2. arrange for another place to stay
   
3. obtain the hard-drive of the computer for proof
   
4. notify ex of breakup in public / electronically
   
5. keep your location secret
   
6. get legal counsel to deal with apartment lease
   
7. inform your superior at work to get the most support
   

[elaine567]

Do not alert him in any way.

The plan for leaving potentially violent people is to plan carefully and just disappear.

 

If you have loads of stuff you just can't do without then you could perhaps hire a storage container/room - there are plenty companies that do this for a monthly fee and take anything of sentimental value to there. If he questions this then tell him you are just sorting out jumble to take down to the charity shop. I know an abused woman who did this then bought a new property, did it up, bought new stuff gradually and once it was ready a year later just disappeared completely from his life.

 

BUT if you can afford it, hire a removal company or just a van and enlist a whole load of guys to help you move. You could be out of there in less than two hours if you planned it well and took only the stuff that matters.

If you are worried for the safety of your cat, put it into a cat boarding facility until everything is settled. Make sure it has all its vaccinations up to date. Some facilities will take unvaccinated cats in an emergency, but not all will.

Pets can be used to blackmail people into staying, so do not give him a tool to manipulate you.

 

There is no need to prove to him that he is cheating, he already knows, so forget that.

You do not need to confront him and potentially put your life in danger, just clear out first and then tell him by email it was just not working for you, you got cold feet and you don't want to get married and you are done.

NO need to go into great detail or get into arguments or he said she said or anything like that.

 

Personally I would take yourself and your cat back home and let your family/friends look after you until you get back on your feet again.

[introverted1]

Is this the same guy you've been posting about since 2012? http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/355404-i-think-he-might-married

[IfonlyIknew]

Your situation gave me the chills. First, I admire your strength for having the courage to accept what your eyes witnessed, and know you need to leave. This has to be done as lightly as possible. I'm afraid if you let the cat out of the bag, he could flip out knowing you know his deepest darkest secret and like you said, he doesn't scare you but you don't know who he is. I feel like you need to distance yourself very very slowly, this can not be overnight. Your safety is first priority, you can't tell him what you know, not right now. I'd consider presenting your life as an inconvenience to him in any way possible, a relocation of a job, a job that calls for you to be elsewhere, a family member needs your help somewhere, something that needs YOU and your TIME to create a distance.

[xra]

You knew this guy was a liar months ago... no years ago. Every thread you posted everyone said to leave. You still haven't left. What advice will you gain here?

 

Ex-military guy and you want to do a smear campaign. Not a good idea. How about you just break-up with him and see how he takes that. Also, get your self tested. Like yesterday.

 

Save all the info you got.. just in case.

 

This is quite unhelpful. There were some problems in the relationship before, but I learned that he is a cheater only a week ago. Don't go throwing stones when you have no idea what my life is like outside of the posts on these forums. Also, I've been tested already.

 

I haven't left since discovering the cheating precisely because I'd like to do it in a smart way, hence this current post. It's not a smear campaign, but we were planning a wedding. There are dozens of people involved - family, friends, guests - our social circles are completely intertwined. They will all start asking questions the moment the wedding is canceled. I don't intend to lie for him.

[purrrfectlyflawed]

OMG you need to get tested for STD's. I cannot believe this guy. Wow is all I have to say. Please gather your stuff up next time you are alone for a few hours, get out of there. Cancel the wedding.

 

 

Cancelling the wedding is not the end of the world. Yes you will be out money but its better than staying with this prolific liar and cheater. A coworker/FaceBook friend of mine of mine flew to Jamaica to get married. She came back unmarried. The whole wedding had been planned for almost 2 years and about 2 or 3 months before the big day she realized she couldn't do it and very quietly called it off. She went on the trip anyways since she paid for airfare, told the wedding party the wedding was called off but that she would love to make it a girls/friends trip for those still interested in using the airline tickets. She let the guests know as well of course. A few girls still made the trip with her.

 

 

So I say call it off NOW. Pack up and get out. If you are flying somewhere for it keep the plane reservations and take a little vacay.

 

 

Good luck

[introverted1]

I always thought he was the perfect guy: so kind, sweet, humorous, intelligent, etc etc (insert sarcasm here). Long story short, due to a recent series of unfortunate events, I have learned that he has been wearing a mask for pretty much our entire relationship.

 

Based on your previous posts, it appears you have been aware of the cheating for quite some time.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/605127-i-m-back-he-s-back-still-cheating

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/583495-found-naked-photos-his-computer

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/581304-financially-irresponsible-fiance-we-re-debt

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/355404-i-think-he-might-married

 

This doesn't change your current dilemma, but you asked essentially the same question in June and apparently didn't take any action. What's different now?

[BaileyB]

Exactly. You have been aware of his cheating for quite some time. I can't believe that you are still with this guy...

[xra]

Based on your previous posts, it appears you have been aware of the cheating for quite some time.

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/605127-i-m-back-he-s-back-still-cheating

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/583495-found-naked-photos-his-computer

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/581304-financially-irresponsible-fiance-we-re-debt

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/355404-i-think-he-might-married

 

This doesn't change your current dilemma, but you asked essentially the same question in June and apparently didn't take any action. What's different now?

 

Ok did you actually read any of my old posts? The 'married ' post has nothing to do with this at all, totally different guy. The post about his poor financial decision-making was a red flag, but was not a deal-breaker for me. When I found naked photos on his computer back in June, I actually did believe that he made a mistake, did not intend to cheat and did not go through with anything. Yes, I should have listened to my gut instincts, but I loved him and wanted to give him a second chance.

 

But hey, I don't need to justify myself to you. I'm already dealing with enough **** at the moment - so if you don't have any constructive advice and are only interested in attacking me, move along please. I'm already blaming myself enough and don't need any help.

[Sweetfish]

Ok did you actually read any of my old posts? The 'married ' post has nothing to do with this at all, totally different guy. The post about his poor financial decision-making was a red flag, but was not a deal-breaker for me. When I found naked photos on his computer back in June, I actually did believe that he made a mistake, did not intend to cheat and did not go through with anything. Yes, I should have listened to my gut instincts, but I loved him and wanted to give him a second chance.

 

But hey, I don't need to justify myself to you. I'm already dealing with enough **** at the moment - so if you don't have any constructive advice and are only interested in attacking me, move along please. I'm already blaming myself enough and don't need any help.

 

Today, I needed to use his computer to send a file to myself, as my computer is broken. You know how when you're trying to add an attachment to an email, the first folder that pops up is the one that was most recently used? So all of a sudden, I'm looking at a folder of about 12 photos. Three of them are naked women (no faces visible), posing on their beds. The photos are not professional porn quality, they definitely look like classic sexting shots. Then there were several photos of him fully naked, his behind, flexing in the mirror, etc. There were also several photos of his erect junk, with a handwritten note in one of the photos indicating the city where we live, the date (two months ago), and calling himself 'stud'. It's a classic stamp that's is used on websites like Craigslist to prove that you're local and real.

 

 

I don't need to know your personal life outside these post to know that you are hanging on to some very toxic love. You can either play victim or do everything you can do to not be a victim.

 

The past is the past.

[William]

As a reminder, besides the mandate to be civil and respectful in all posts, any posts which address *relevant* material from the thread starter posted in the past shall be specific, shall include a quote of the relevant material, and a link to that material.

 

For purposes of our guidelines, posts that take a member to task for not following advice from past discussions are deemed unhelpful and borderline disrespectful.

 

Specifically:

 

LoveShack.org: Community Guidelines

 

Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant. It is inevitable that members will sometimes disagree in their responses to any given problem, and LoveShack.org encourages healthy debate comprised of constructive questions and criticisms, so long as they pertain to the post and thread at hand. Personal dislike of another member has no place in any post, on any thread.

 

We expect that all participants will respond to posts in their specific context, not to the person who has posted. While opinions may be formed of various members based on what they have posted in the past, any response to any particular submission should be grounded in what has been posted in that thread. Past disagreements should not be resurrected in new threads

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Thank you for reading and we look forward to further topical and helpful responses!

Edited December 19, 2016 by William
Highlighted relevant guidelines

[elaine567]

The post about his poor financial decision-making was a red flag, but was not a deal-breaker for me. When I found naked photos on his computer back in June, I actually did believe that he made a mistake, did not intend to cheat and did not go through with anything. Yes, I should have listened to my gut instincts, but I loved him and wanted to give him a second chance.

 

Just about everyone "in love" has been there at some point in their lives, sometimes it's the jerky guy we met at 18, sometimes it is the abuser we met at 30, sometimes it is the husband who is now acting "weird" at 45... etc.

The red flags are flying but we refuse to take them on board. We get stuck on the wonderful guy we first met, the love story we concocted around them, the hopes and dreams and expectations we have and do not want to let go of. We thus stick on in there.

"This one WILL work out, we'll make sure of it..."

 

So yes you stuck on in there far too long, but now your eyes are fully open, so it is time to take some real action.

[Viking]

It's pretty bigoted of you to assume because he owns guns he's going to use them on you. I think the bigger issue is him continually cheating on you. I'd get an STD test done and see where it puts you. Save as much if the information as you can, screenshots, downloads, whatever. I'm not a computer guy personally, but I wouldn't print it. Let your work know and if you feel truly threatened after the breakup, file for a restraining order.

 

Do you believe his coming home after having sex with random and telling you he loves you is what makes him a psychopath? I'd say he seems more sociopathic than anything. If he has never acted in aggression toward you, that is a good sign and he is likely not to. Hiding browser history for two years and that type of secret life is hard. Hiding anger is even more so. I have an anger problem and it is part of my failure in relationships, though I've never harmed a significant other. I direct my anger at inanimate objects.

[introverted1]

My plan was to tell him everything that I found and ask him to move out. All the family and friends who already received wedding invitations will need to be notified that the wedding is off....And I intend to tell my immediate family and his family, with whom I have become close, that he's been cheating (which is putting it SO mildly). I want them to know the truth about what he is--because otherwise, he will spin his web of lies over everyone again, will probably smear my name, and will most certainly hook another sucker of a girlfriend/wife within a few weeks. I do not want another woman to go through what I am going through right now with this pathological liar and predator.

 

Ok. If you want to end it, do so. As someone else said, just because he owns a gun doesn't make him prone to violence and nothing you've written about this guy suggests that he is violent.

 

That said, I am not sure why you feel compelled to tell his family why you are ending it. Tell your family - sure. But the need to tell his family seems OTT and seems to be a needless provocation.

 

In any case, move out and secure your safety and then consider whether you want to tell them. Your initial goal should be limited to parting ways with your fiance.

[elaine567]

It's pretty bigoted of you to assume because he owns guns he's going to use them on you.

 

Really????

From her other thread and I guess another reason she has stuck around longer than most. Fear. Fear of making him angry.

 

Another terrifying thought I just had... He has a very even temper, but when he loses it - he really LOSES it. He's never once got angry at me in that way, but I don't know if that might happen when I confront him.

He has a handgun that he keeps in his dresser, and he is an expert shot (military training, yada yada). Should I confront him somewhere in public, away from his weapon? In case things really go south?? #11

[introverted1]

Really????

From her other thread and I guess another reason she has stuck around longer than most. Fear. Fear of making him angry.

 

According to that thread, she did confront him. She also asked him to leave and he did. He was compliant, not violent.

 

Nonetheless if she thinks he has changed since then, the obvious solution is to have someone present or nearby when she tells him it's over, and during any subsequent interactions until one of them moves out.

[eightytwenty]

Simple.

 

 

 

 

1. Find a place to live..

 

 

2. Once place is found, get move in date

 

 

3. While he's at work, move your stuff to new "home"

 

 

4. Shoot him (no pun intended) a text and tell him you moved out, and y'all are done.

 

 

5. delete/block him on everything!

 

 

Hopefully everything gets better now.

[GunslingerRoland]

I don't know how realistic it is to just move out from the place of someone you have been with this long and break up with them via text.

 

You probably have shared financials, shared friends, a whole shared life at this point. He's never been violent towards you, but I don't want to tell you not to trust your intuition.

 

I don't think there is any need to start a smear campaign. Telling his people and mutual friends that you aren't as compatible as you thought you were, should be enough. Save the details for your close friends and family.

 

I know that isn't really any answer to the tough question though. I'd probably want to start the conversation in a public place, with a plan of how you are going to leave already established.

[Viking]

Really????

From her other thread and I guess another reason she has stuck around longer than most. Fear. Fear of making him angry.

 

 

Forgive me for not reading every thread on the board. I work six days in a row and sometimes more than 8hrs per day. I recently returned from a long hiatus due to a particularly painful breakup and questions I had.

 

I'm even tempered and when I get mad, I get really mad. However, I have the wherewithal due to being a mature adult that I know what is right, wrong and what my actions should be.

 

Please don't project the "people who own guns are going to kill you if they get mad" mantra on everyone. It is usually those who do not own guns who end up stealing and shooting people with them, ala Adam Lanza from Sandy Hook.

 

It's the people who are unfamiliar with them that are the ones to look out for. It's no worse than a hammer, and in fact, more people are beaten to death with hammers than are murdered by a gun.

 

That said, I'd still get out of the situation due to its toxicity.

[Sunlight72]

Please don't project the "people who own guns are going to kill you if they get mad" mantra on everyone. It is usually those who do not own guns who end up stealing and shooting people with them, ala Adam Lanza from Sandy Hook.

 

It's the people who are unfamiliar with them that are the ones to look out for. It's no worse than a hammer, and in fact, more people are beaten to death with hammers than are murdered by a gun.

It is not your (or my) place to tell someone we don't know personally that it is foolish of them to be concerned someone who owns several guns may use one on a person who upsets them greatly.

 

Also, please don't spread nonfactual statistics, thanks.

 

From - Snopes.com (the fact-checking folks)

Gun Deaths vs. Baseball Bat Deaths : snopes.com

 

And a well worded explanation from - No, Hammers Don?t Kill More People Than Guns | Fusion

 

"Most importantly, the vast majority of murders in America are committed with guns. Firearms made up nearly 70 percent of all homicides in 2012. More people were murdered with guns last year than by beating, blunt objects, knives, poison, and explosives combined. Accidental deaths with firearms were also much more common than blunt-object deaths.

 

 

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), 606 people were killed in accidents involving guns in 2010. That number jumped to 851 in 2011. There’s no data available on blunt objects in 2011. But the previous year? Only four people died in accidents with “nonpowered hand tools,” and one person was killed by accident with a blunt object.

 

 

The hammer-to-gun comparison has long been made by gun-rights advocates. The problem is, it doesn’t add up."

[xra]

I'm definitely not implying that everyone who might own a gun is likely to shoot someone. I have owned guns myself in the past. However... I've also worked with felons in prisons and with armed military personnel. When someone is being called in to be disciplined or dismissed by a superior, the #1 rule is to make sure they don't have their weapons on them. People can do very irrational, uncharacteristic things in times of stress, which is why I am worried that he may lose his temper with me. I highly doubt that he would actually do anything that stupid, but I've seen too many victims to take anything for granted.

 

As for breaking up via text - seriously?? Not realistic in a live-in, long-term relationship. We share bank accounts and bills, have 1 car between the 2 of us, I bought all the furniture in the apartment, all our friends and family know each other... It's not a 'text him goodbye and disappear' kind of situation, and the fact that I only have $500 outside our shared account makes things harder. Does anyone know if I'm legally allowed to take half the money in a shared account?

[eightytwenty]

As for breaking up via text - seriously?? Not realistic in a live-in, long-term relationship. We share bank accounts and bills, have 1 car between the 2 of us, I bought all the furniture in the apartment, all our friends and family know each other... It's not a 'text him goodbye and disappear' kind of situation, and the fact that I only have $500 outside our shared account makes things harder. Does anyone know if I'm legally allowed to take half the money in a shared account?

 

 

Ahh well more difficult... Figure out who gets the car, take half the money, if he wants to take you to court well he can. I wouldn't take all but half.

 

 

I seriously think the quickest and safe detachment is the best, esp if you're worried for your safety. Get your stuff (furniture that you bought) and go, and tell him to meet you after you get a million phone calls. but you can share accounts, spilt it down the middle, either its his car or yours or both. If the car is financed through both then leave the car to figure out later. If its in your name its yours in his, well its his...

[Sweetfish]

I'm definitely not implying that everyone who might own a gun is likely to shoot someone. I have owned guns myself in the past. However... I've also worked with felons in prisons and with armed military personnel. When someone is being called in to be disciplined or dismissed by a superior, the #1 rule is to make sure they don't have their weapons on them. People can do very irrational, uncharacteristic things in times of stress, which is why I am worried that he may lose his temper with me. I highly doubt that he would actually do anything that stupid, but I've seen too many victims to take anything for granted.

 

As for breaking up via text - seriously?? Not realistic in a live-in, long-term relationship. We share bank accounts and bills, have 1 car between the 2 of us, I bought all the furniture in the apartment, all our friends and family know each other... It's not a 'text him goodbye and disappear' kind of situation, and the fact that I only have $500 outside our shared account makes things harder. Does anyone know if I'm legally allowed to take half the money in a shared account?

\

 

 

Look... you need to get out of this relationship now.

 

Thank heavens your not married.

 

This guy has been sleeping with everything under the sun.

 

Do not do a smear session.. Do not air out the dirty laundry.

 

If you think its going to be bad have the police or another person there so you can get your things.