Crush on Doctor - Does he feel the same? [Update: Jan 2019 - Doc brushed me off]

[ja123]

I'm sorry, but you're coming across as quite delusional and out of touch with reality. You think he has a shoe/foot fetish because he mentioned your shoes once? Come on. And where did you get the idea he was turned on by supposedly hearing of you having risky sex? This is crazy and you need help.

 

You have to admit, sitting close to the patient directly and using a steady gaze, then telling her that if she "wore red boots instead of black, then that would show confidence", is really weird.

 

Plus, he glances at my feet the way other men glance at breasts.

 

 

And why did you call him Pygmalion? I've read the play but I have no idea what you mean. It's just too odd.

 

I called him Pygmalian when he was becoming too bossy in my goal-setting. These goals are something that I really have to want, not just say I want them to please him. It was as though I was being groomed to be his statue or his Ms. Doolittle.

 

It was quite demeaning and controlling his tone, quite frankly.

 

But, he toned it down when I called him that.

[ja123]

So, I'm at the end of the road with this doc.

 

I haven't announced it yet and might have to see him one more time ... but I'll try to avoid even that.

 

During my last two appointments with him, when I got back from the city where I lived with a sorta-boyfriend, I mentioned that I ran into this guy by accident and we hooked up.

 

I also mentioned that this guy, 13-years younger, and I were close-enough even to have visited a swinging club together.

 

He seemed to get angry when he said, "So THIS [my seeing this guy] has been going on for quite some time."

 

So he forced me to get weighed. He never took my weight before, I always laughed and said "No way." He also took my blood pressure.

 

I cried and said sorry. He said, "Why are you sorry". I said,"For bringing up difficult matter." He said, "It's difficult. It's difficult to be a doctor."

 

Anyhow, I feel my doc made too much of a personal investment in me.

 

I had an appointment with psych and asked the psych to take over the prescribing. When psych wanted to know why, I just said I haven't achieved my goals and feel I've let my doc down. He (the psych) said he'd be fine to take over prescribing, but that I should perhaps talk to my doctor so as to get reassurance that I haven't let him down. Pysch said, "I have about 300 patients and I can't imagine how I would practice if I thought they'd let me down; surely, your doc feels this way, too." I just nodded.

 

So, that's where I'm at ...

 

Not planning to go back to my doc at all, really ....

 

I have got to get a new doctor somehow and fast.

 

I do not want a relationship, personally or professionally, with my doc.

[BaileyB]

So, I'm at the end of the road with this doc.

 

I haven't announced it yet and might have to see him one more time ... but I'll try to avoid even that.

 

During my last two appointments with him, when I got back from the city where I lived with a sorta-boyfriend, I mentioned that I ran into this guy by accident and we hooked up.

 

I also mentioned that this guy, 13-years younger, and I were close-enough even to have visited a swinging club together.

 

He seemed to get angry when he said, "So THIS [my seeing this guy] has been going on for quite some time."

 

So he forced me to get weighed. He never took my weight before, I always laughed and said "No way." He also took my blood pressure.

 

I cried and said sorry. He said, "Why are you sorry". I said,"For bringing up difficult matter." He said, "It's difficult. It's difficult to be a doctor."

 

Anyhow, I feel my doc made too much of a personal investment in me.

 

I had an appointment with psych and asked the psych to take over the prescribing. When psych wanted to know why, I just said I haven't achieved my goals and feel I've let my doc down. He (the psych) said he'd be fine to take over prescribing, but that I should perhaps talk to my doctor so as to get reassurance that I haven't let him down. Pysch said, "I have about 300 patients and I can't imagine how I would practice if I thought they'd let me down; surely, your doc feels this way, too." I just nodded.

 

So, that's where I'm at ...

 

Not planning to go back to my doc at all, really ....

 

I have got to get a new doctor somehow and fast.

 

I do not want a relationship, personally or professionally, with my doc.

 

You feel like your doctor made too much of a personal investment with you...

 

Honey, look in the mirror. Your behavior has been totally inappropriate. You have shared things about your personal life that are totally inappropriate to share with your doctor.

 

But now, you blame him for being unprofessional and inappropriate?

 

If I was your doctor, I would be doing a happy dance that you had decided to find another physician... I couldn't transfer your file fast enough...

[ja123]

You feel like your doctor made too much of a personal investment with you...

 

Honey, look in the mirror. Your behavior has been totally inappropriate. You have shared things about your personal life that are totally inappropriate to share with your doctor.

 

But now, you blame him for being unprofessional and inappropriate?

 

If I was your doctor, I would be doing a happy dance that you had decided to find another physician...

 

Thank you for your feedback, but I disagree. Sharing personal stuff is a part of the therapeutic process. If he weren't up for it, then he shouldn't have presented himself as having psychological training in his country and offered to see me all the time when I wasn't feeling well. (BTW, I felt great anxiety over having met my sorta-bf out-of-the-blue in the subway in a city of 3 million people.)

 

It's for him to be neutral and keep his opinions to himself.

 

Psych said that, apart from diseases, so long as it's mutual and no one is being hurt, then I have a right to my sexuality. Though, he did ask a few other questions as to frequency, to ensure I'm not a sex addict. AS for my drinking, I told psych I'm going to AA, but I slip sometimes. He said to take one day at a time and not to beat myself up about it but keep going to AA.

 

And I'm actually doing a happy dance for having come to my senses and actually dumping this doc like I was told on here previously.

Edited September 22, 2017 by ja123

[whichwayisup]

His behavior was completely inappropriate and unprofessional! Good riddance! The sooner the better.

[ja123]

His behavior was completely inappropriate and unprofessional! Good riddance! The sooner the better.

 

Thank you!!! Wish I had listened to you earlier ... but, at least I've come to my senses now!

 

My friend, who also knows about my sex life, also said he was inappropriate and just that it was "odd" that he said, "It's difficult to be a doctor." If he were a serious professional, he should've asked whether I need an STI test.

 

Anyhow, thank you so much for all your advice! I reread the entire thread more than once, believe you me, to try to wean myself off this crazy-scenario that was in my head.

[whichwayisup]

Thank you!!! Wish I had listened to you earlier ... but, at least I've come to my senses now!

 

My friend, who also knows about my sex life, also said he was inappropriate and just that it was "odd" that he said, "It's difficult to be a doctor." If he were a serious professional, he should've asked whether I need an STI test.

 

Anyhow, thank you so much for all your advice! I reread the entire thread more than once, believe you me, to try to wean myself off this crazy-scenario that was in my head.

 

You learned a confusing and painful lesson, never crush/fantasize about your family DR! Anyway, it's good that you see how things are now and you are making healthier choices that will only benefit you in the long run.

[ja123]

Should I write a formal letter to withdraw from his patient list?

 

Or, should I just not go back (without officially terminating the doc/patient relationship) and call psych to fax next prescription to pharmacy?

 

See, I need another prescription in the interim, 'till I see pysch again.

[ja123]

Therapist said I should keep doc, just in case I need him, as it's very hard to get a doc here.

 

 

I'm leaning toward writing the letter to really make the break. Anything else is just, well, keeping the door open in my mind... I shouldn't fantasize about walking in a year from now several pounds slimmer wearing red boots... just to say without words: "Eat your heart out, baby" and "f-off while you're at it!"

[jay1983]

Did you mention that to your therapist?

[stillafool]

I doubt this doc cares one way or the other so I would just let it be and get your therapist to write your prescription. No need to bother the doc's office anymore.

[ja123]

Did you mention that to your therapist?

 

Therapist and psych (psychiatrist) are two different people.

 

I told therapist about the crush but not the psych, as he and psych are "colleagues/"distant friends" so he told me.

 

I don't want to ruin this doc's career ... apart from some flirting with me .... he's a really good doc and can help a lot of people.

[ja123]

I doubt this doc cares one way or the other so I would just let it be and get your therapist to write your prescription. No need to bother the doc's office anymore.

 

You're probably right .... no need to spell it out ... just move on .... I'll call psych's office for the script.

 

I was more about making the "cut" for me, but ya know, who cares, F***?

 

I deserve better than a married man, anyway!

 

Thanks for your input ... helps to hear from men, too!

Edited September 23, 2017 by ja123

[ja123]

Tomorrow, I'm calling another doc (female) that I found and who seems good to see whether I can be put on her waiting list.

 

Gotta get a new doc and fast!!!

 

To be honest, I'm still crushing on my doc.

 

I have an appointment booked, but haven't cancelled with him yet.

 

Gotta do that.

 

If he offered an affair, I'd say yes!

[oldbutcurious]

 

If he offered an affair, I'd say yes!

 

 

 

hahahahaha!

[JuneL]

 

hahahahaha!

 

OP: Are you sure this whole thing is not a joke??

[ja123]

This is not a joke, unfortunately ... I'm somehow obsessed, and very few people on this site believe that doc is interested, too!!! Which he is ...

 

I'll write more details later.

 

Just called female doc and she's not taking patients.

 

I'm determined to get out of this situation, so that's why I'm posting here - so I don't slip and go back to doc.

[stillafool]

I thought you were going to cancel the appt and move on with your life. He is not interested plus he is married. Move on. Wait until you get a new therapist. There is more than one so if the female doc is booked up spend your time finding another. Stop obsessing about someone who doesn't want you.

[oldbutcurious]

doc is interested, too!!! .

 

I hope you'll enjoy it, and not get messed up.

[oldbutcurious]

 

Honey, look in the mirror. Your behavior has been totally inappropriate. You have shared things about your personal life that are totally inappropriate to share with your doctor.

 

But now, you blame him for being unprofessional and inappropriate? .

 

She's flirting and enjoying it. She might like an affair, short or whatever. I wish her happiness, and lots of fun.

[oldbutcurious]

I have a major crush on my doc, and I worried that I'm pushing him away and that he's maybe frustrated with me.

 

 

Have fun girl, go for it. I just noted some here are just jealous, and don;t have a life.

 

Playing middle age priests, duh!

[stillafool]

Have fun girl, go for it. I just noted some here are just jealous, and don;t have a life.

 

Playing middle age priests, duh!

 

:lmao:Are you serious? No one here is jealous of someone who is so desperate they have to run after a MM that doesn't want them. Women who have lots of options don't have to date MM. Women with options get husbands.

[whichwayisup]

Tomorrow, I'm calling another doc (female) that I found and who seems good to see whether I can be put on her waiting list.

 

Gotta get a new doc and fast!!!

 

To be honest, I'm still crushing on my doc.

 

I have an appointment booked, but haven't cancelled with him yet.

 

Gotta do that.

 

If he offered an affair, I'd say yes!

 

Sadly I thought we were getting through to you. This whole situation is so unhealthy and you know this too!

 

Stop feeding your feelings for your soon to be ex DR. Cancel that appt and don't ever look back.

[ja123]

Thank you for all your responses ... I'll be back to respond shortly.

[ItStartsFromWithin]

She's flirting and enjoying it. She might like an affair, short or whatever. I wish her happiness, and lots of fun.

 

Have fun girl, go for it. I just noted some here are just jealous, and don;t have a life.

 

Playing middle age priests, duh!

 

Are you serious with your responses? This has got to be a troll account response. Or perhaps an eleven year old child who is too young and naive to know full well, the repercussions of traveling down a dark affair abyss.

 

Please stop encouraging her to, 'have fun' with a married man, with whom; by her own admission, she states, she is "obsessed" with. You're encouraging emotional turmoil, self destruction & more obsession.

 

No one here, that has taken time to thoughtfully offer advice to her: are doing so because they are: "jealous" 'middle aged priests" "with no life". We offer advice because many of us have traveled down that dark road of utter turmoil and when we came out on the other end, our lives were completely changed. So when we see others who are attempting to do the same, & they are sincerely seeking advice; we offer dire warnings of potential outcomes because we've, 'been there, done that' & if we can help just one person not to follow in our path & mistakes; then at least something good has come out of what we went through.

 

Please remember this isn't cosplay, this isnt a game. This is someone's real life- with real repercussions that can alter the rest of her life, with the advice you give. Please take this seriously.