Crush on Doctor - Does he feel the same? [Update: Jan 2019 - Doc brushed me off]

[Haydn]

Think you are going to get hurt which i`d hate to see Ja.

[ja123]

I notice you've been a little obsessive about this physician, and that's why I asked if you have a sound support system from friends and family. Do you exercise or meditate?

 

You might want to share with your psych about your sexual desire for your physician. I'd also like to reiterate that your psych should be the more appropriate professional to treat your addiction and depression.

 

I also don't understand how calling you daily can monitor your alcohol consumption; it's not like you can't lie to him!

 

The psych only involves himself with medication recommendations ... he doesn't do therapy.

 

 

I'd be too afraid to admit I have a crush on my doc. This is a delicate situation and I don't want to cause trouble for him professionally.

 

 

 

 

My doc IS trying to get me to go to the gym regularly, as a part of getting better.

 

 

Since my move here, I'm still in transition, if you will ... and have found all my regular friends married, etc, and not wanting to hangout or get together.

 

 

Think you are going to get hurt which i`d hate to see Ja.

 

 

Thanks, Haydn ...

 

 

Well, here it is 5 :15 p.m. now, and he hasn't called in the afternoon like he said he would. Go figure...

[ja123]

My doc hasn't called. So, maybe he figured it was too personal to do.

 

 

I'm confused as to why he would've proposed it in the first place.

 

 

Quite frankly, I'm angry at him and will NOT call his office on Monday like him asked me to.

 

 

In fact, I'll be pushing my appointment back from 2 weeks to a month. I just don't want to see him.

 

I haven't had a drink for about 48 hours now! Minor withdrawal symptoms, but I'm doing it!

[whichwayisup]

Find another Dr and forget this one. Stop focusing on him and focus and fix you! You have enough going on to worry and obsess or play games with him. And that IS what you're doing, hoping to punish him for not calling you, hoping he'll worry and come find out. It won't work and it'll back fire on you making you feel worse.

 

Good that you haven't reached for a bottle of booze. Keep going and please, consider AA, even if you need to go to another town, do it.

[ja123]

@Thanks whichwayisup

 

 

I guess I felt like playing games with him because that's what I feel he's done with me.

 

 

 

Let's face it, he has!!!

 

If I push back my appointment, I'll have time to ask the psych to become the prescribing doctor ... that'll give me time to find a new family doc which can take 6 months to a year.

 

 

If psych asks why, I'll just admit I have a crush on my doc (without mentioning the whole phone call suggestion that my doc made, as I don't want to get him into trouble with his colleague).

 

 

 

 

Question:

In any case, do you think I should call his office on Monday to let him (or his secretary) know that I haven't been drinking? (and everyday thereafter, as he suggested?)

 

 

My feeling is that if I don't call on Monday, he'll know he's pissed me off, or he might try calling me as he's out of range from wife and kids when he's at the office.

 

 

I honestly don't feel like calling at all and that's not to punish him ... that's just because I want to disengage from this situation a.s.a.p.

Edited March 5, 2017 by ja123

[ja123]

I'd also like to mention that doc would like to see me every 2 weeks or me to come in when I'm feeling down ... I decided to see doc one a month to get my pills because is only prescribes for a month. And NOT to go more often.

 

 

The reality is that he could prescribe for a month with renewals! He doesn't have to keep me on such a short leash.

 

 

When I was there this past Thursday, he made a point of saying "It's 30 days since we last saw each other. (he said with a coy smile) Tell me what's happened in 30 days." So, it's like he's counting the days for crying out loud ... he could've just asked me what is new since our last appointment.

[MidwestUSA]

I'm sorry, but he's not even going to notice if you don't call Monday. He may have come to his senses. So there's no need to keep up the game playing.

 

Yes, he can certainly give you a 30 day scrip with refills. Have him give you that so you have enough to get you through WHILE YOU LOOK FOR A NEW DOC! Or get the psych to do the prescribing. In fact, that's a better idea, since you're dealing with substance abuse.

 

This guy, and your reaction to him, is creepy, not to mention unprofessional.

[PrettyEmily77]

Not sure you should be jumping to the bad doc taking advantage of the situation scenario straight away.

 

My (educated) guess would be that you remind him of a patient with a similar history of denial with alcohol addiction he felt he let down somehow in the past, and he's trying to keep a close eye on you to ease his conscience. Or maybe he just wants to help make you see sense.

 

Actually calling you would have been crossing the line, which he didn't.

 

I agree that you should stop seeing him however, especially if it's going to affect how you deal with your addiction.

Edited March 5, 2017 by PrettyEmily77

[ja123]

Thanks whichwayisup and PrettyEmily

 

 

So, the consensus is that I should stop seeing him.

 

 

Should I still call his office on Monday to let him (or his secretary) know that I haven't been drinking?

 

 

I don't feel like calling.

 

 

Edit: I'm not going to call. I'll call at a later date to cancel my 2 week appointment and say I'll rebook, but I won't ...

Edited March 5, 2017 by ja123

[whichwayisup]

@Thanks whichwayisup

 

 

I guess I felt like playing games with him because that's what I feel he's done with me.

 

 

 

Let's face it, he has!!!

 

If I push back my appointment, I'll have time to ask the psych to become the prescribing doctor ... that'll give me time to find a new family doc which can take 6 months to a year.

 

 

If psych asks why, I'll just admit I have a crush on my doc (without mentioning the whole phone call suggestion that my doc made, as I don't want to get him into trouble with his colleague).

 

 

 

 

Question:

In any case, do you think I should call his office on Monday to let him (or his secretary) know that I haven't been drinking? (and everyday thereafter, as he suggested?)

 

 

My feeling is that if I don't call on Monday, he'll know he's pissed me off, or he might try calling me as he's out of range from wife and kids when he's at the office.

 

 

I honestly don't feel like calling at all and that's not to punish him ... that's just because I want to disengage from this situation a.s.a.p.

 

I doubt he's going to think anything. He has tons of other patients and to think that his thoughts revolve around you and you think he thinks of you as much as you think of him just shows how warped things are right now.

 

I'm in Canada too and it shouldn't take you 6 months to a year to find a new family DR.

[JuneL]

PrettyEmily77:

 

Great post! I saw from your posting history that you are a physician yourself. My apologies if I am mistaken. So I guess your educated guess may come from your interactions with other medical professionals? Putting yourself in the shoes of the OP's doctor, would you refer the OP to a psych instead of taking her issues (depression in addition to substance addiction) upon yourself? Also, is it common for physicians to waive fees continuously for no particular reason?

 

Not sure you should be jumping to the bad doc taking advantage of the situation scenario straight away.

 

My (educated) guess would be that you remind him of a patient with a similar history of denial with alcohol addiction he felt he let down somehow in the past, and he's trying to keep a close eye on you to ease his conscience. Or maybe he just wants to help make you see sense.

 

Actually calling you would have been crossing the line, which he didn't.

 

I agree that you should stop seeing him however, especially if it's going to affect how you deal with your addiction.

[PrettyEmily77]

would you refer the OP to a psych instead of taking her issues (depression in addition to substance addiction) upon yourself? Also, is it common for physicians to waive fees continuously for no particular reason?

 

There are no fees to be waived here so I guess I overlooked that part - OP did mention her card hadn't arrived yet, so maybe that explains it?

 

In any case, my first reaction is to consider the facts at hand - correct me if I'm wrong OP, but it looks like she has a crush on her married doc, and she also is getting to grips with her alcohol addiction. It has been mentioned upthread that the doc did in fact refer her to a psychologist, and it is standard procedure to review patients who have been subscribed anti-depressants on a monthly basis, especially as a psychologist is not normally allowed to prescribe medication - on that front, no foul play. It would probably be even more important to keep an eye on the patient given the bad antidepressants + alcohol combo.

 

 

You may not agree with me, but unless she wants that doctor sacked, I believe dealing with the alcohol addiction would be more beneficial for her health than focusing on the doctor's ethics, which may or may not be out of line (neither of us know that for sure, which is why I was offering the OP another perspective - that doctor may very well have been overzealous rather than unprofessional, for instance - yes, that happens in real life).

 

Sorry about the thread-jack, ja.

Edited March 5, 2017 by PrettyEmily77

[JuneL]

Thanks for responding. I didn't disagree with what you said at all — I was just curious to see things from a physician's perspectives (as I'm sure there are a lot of gray areas). Btw, I think her "psych" is a psychiatrist.

 

 

There are no fees to be waived here so I guess I overlooked that part - OP did mention her card hadn't arrived yet, so maybe that explains it?

 

In any case, my first reaction is to consider the facts at hand - correct me if I'm wrong OP, but it looks like she has a crush on her married doc, and she also is getting to grips with her alcohol addiction. It has been mentioned upthread that the doc did in fact refer her to a psychologist, and it is standard procedure to review patients who have been subscribed anti-depressants on a monthly basis, especially as a psychologist is not normally allowed to prescribe medication - on that front, no foul play.

 

You may not agree with me, but unless she wants that doctor sacked, I believe dealing with the alcohol addiction would be more beneficial for her health than focusing on the doctor's ethics, which may or may not be out of line (neither of us know that for sure, which is why I was offering the OP another perspective - that doctor may very well have been overzealous rather than unprofessional, for instance - yes, that happens in real life).

 

Sorry about the thread-jack, ja.

[PrettyEmily77]

Thanks for responding. I didn't disagree with what you said at all — I was just curious to see things from a physician's perspectives (as I'm sure there are a lot of gray areas). Btw, I think her "psych" is a psychiatrist.

 

Either way, the GP did the referral so evidently he had no intention of dealing with it all by himself. I guess I don't really understand why the guy's professionalism is being questioned so easily, especially under the circumstances.

 

Anyway, I hope you take matters into your own hands in order to tackle the real issue with a new GP, ja.

[ja123]

I doubt he's going to think anything. He has tons of other patients and to think that his thoughts revolve around you and you think he thinks of you as much as you think of him just shows how warped things are right now.

 

I'm in Canada too and it shouldn't take you 6 months to a year to find a new family DR.

 

 

 

Thank you, but I still didn't get an answer to my question about should I call his office (but I'm not going to) and it DOES take a long time to get a GP where I live.

 

 

The situation IS warped, I agree. That's why I'm confused.

 

 

Why would he even say he WOULD call on his days off if he didn't mean to keep his word?

 

 

He's always pushing me to make promises to HIM! But I guess he doesn't see that he has a responsibility to me, too, if he suggested calling.

 

 

He was very specific about calling me on Friday and Saturday in the afternoon, but not being available to call me on Sunday. THEN, he said, he wanted me to call his office on Monday.

 

 

Especially in my state, he shouldn't have suggested that if he didn't intend on following through ...

 

 

Listen, maybe he isn't thinking about me! Actually knowing that FOR SURE would be a relief, but the whole situation is confusing because I've received mixed messages.

 

 

By the way, I go to his office not wearing makeup or dressing special or anything ... I've not gone in giving him the message but wearing a low-cut top.

 

 

Regarding the booze, I'm drinking again ... but I've looked up AA and there's a meeting just for women this week. I still don't know whether I'm an alcoholic, but it would be nice to have someone I could call like a sponsor (a woman with whom there'll be no risk for hanky-panky), as my mother is an enabler. Her later father and even her brother were drunks and I drank at her place yesterday. Now I've resume drinking in private, but I'm not drunk ...

[ja123]

June and Emily - thanks. I'll reply later today when I have time...

[ja123]

EDIT: post 65 ... I don't wear a low cut top.

[ja123]

Thanks for responding, June and Emily...

 

 

Putting yourself in the shoes of the OP's doctor, would you refer the OP to a psych instead of taking her issues (depression in addition to substance addiction) upon yourself? Also, is it common for physicians to waive fees continuously for no particular reason?

 

It was upon my suggestion that he referred me to a psychiatrist.

 

 

He did waive the fees 3 times, as I did not have a provincial card to cover the costs, I'd just moved. He could've billed me, I'd have paid out-of-pocket, then have sent the invoices to Quebec (my former province) to have been reimbursed.

 

 

Also, there was no discussion of my being billed for the phone calls during his time off.

 

 

There are no fees to be waived here so I guess I overlooked that part - OP did mention her card hadn't arrived yet, so maybe that explains it?

 

In any case, my first reaction is to consider the facts at hand - correct me if I'm wrong OP, but it looks like she has a crush on her married doc, and she also is getting to grips with her alcohol addiction. It has been mentioned upthread that the doc did in fact refer her to a psychologist, and it is standard procedure to review patients who have been subscribed anti-depressants on a monthly basis, especially as a psychologist is not normally allowed to prescribe medication - on that front, no foul play. It would probably be even more important to keep an eye on the patient given the bad antidepressants + alcohol combo.

 

 

You may not agree with me, but unless she wants that doctor sacked, I believe dealing with the alcohol addiction would be more beneficial for her health than focusing on the doctor's ethics, which may or may not be out of line (neither of us know that for sure, which is why I was offering the OP another perspective - that doctor may very well have been overzealous rather than unprofessional, for instance - yes, that happens in real life).

 

Sorry about the thread-jack, ja.

 

Those are my 2 issues:

 

 

1- crush on doctor (and his on me)

2- depression + now alcohol consumption

 

 

I DO NOT want my doc/GP to be sacked.

 

 

But I agree that we should look at all sides instead of jumping on "the bad doctor" bandwagon. That is a very apt comment. He IS overzealous. He thinks I can get to the point where I'll be med-free if I follow his instructions, go to the gym and focus on goals. He gives good advice, but he is wrong about my going off meds. I'll have to be on a maintenance dose as it is also biological. This last point the psychiatrist said given the severity and nature of the depression and how many times I've had it in the past. For instance, if my mom were to die, I'd have to be put on a good dose of Zyprexa so as not to end up in hospital.

 

 

GP's enthusiasm and positivity is cute really, if not a little naïve.

 

 

Your earlier point about his treating my case specially, as he might have had a previous case that reminded him of mine, might be behind his reaction ... but there was no alcohol consumption on my part when I first saw him and he waived the fees.

 

 

The alcohol has been since Christmas.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thanks for responding. I didn't disagree with what you said at all — I was just curious to see things from a physician's perspectives (as I'm sure there are a lot of gray areas). Btw, I think her "psych" is a psychiatrist.

 

Yes, the "psych" is a psychiatrist, I have really bad depression and will always need to have access to a psychiatrist in case I get into trouble.

 

 

Either way, the GP did the referral so evidently he had no intention of dealing with it all by himself. I guess I don't really understand why the guy's professionalism is being questioned so easily, especially under the circumstances.

 

Anyway, I hope you take matters into your own hands in order to tackle the real issue with a new GP, ja.

 

 

GP said he had some psych training in his country, and that he could treat me ... I was the one who insisted on getting a psych .. to which he had no qualms.

 

 

I've been on the same meds that I took in Quebec. Psych doesn't even want to consider changes until at least after a year that I've been here.

 

 

I think my GP is a good doc, though. His heart is in the right place to help his patients. I do wonder about his sense of boundaries and how he will maintain his zest for the profession when he meets all the failures he will have as he pushes people to make lifestyle changes.

 

 

What it comes down to is I like him and he likes me ... I'm not feeling angry at him any more ... He may be a doctor, but he's also a man, and a human being. We humans are so imperfect! haha

 

 

I'm thinking of keeping him as a doc... providing my feelings start to diminish. In fact they had, until he suggested calling me and then everything bubbled up again.

Edited March 7, 2017 by ja123

[PrettyEmily77]

I'm thinking of keeping him as a doc... providing my feelings start to diminish. In fact they had, until he suggested calling me and then everything bubbled up again.

 

Ultimately it's up to you, and hopefully you will tread carefully, for your sake (and health) more than for your GP's.

 

From an outsider's point of view, confusion + crush on a married guy who is your doctor + alcohol + depression + heavy medication = recipe for trouble...

 

Good luck, ja.

[VeveCakes]

You aren't going to get billed in another province. They always waive those fees. That is standard procedure, I think you are taking things and making something to justify your feelings.

 

My ex bf was from Scotland became sick here. The hospital treated him and the doc did follow ups at no cost. That is the beauty of health care in Canada.

[ja123]

Ultimately it's up to you, and hopefully you will tread carefully, for your sake (and health) more than for your GP's.

 

From an outsider's point of view, confusion + crush on a married guy who is your doctor + alcohol + depression + heavy medication = recipe for trouble...

 

Good luck, ja.

 

To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.

 

 

Any suggestions as to how I should go about severing our doctor/patient relationship?

 

 

Should I ask psych whether he can take over prescribing? (Kind of hard to do without telling him about my crush)

 

 

Should I tell my GP that I'm looking for a new female doc and ask whether he can prescribe 3-6 months of renewals?

 

 

Thanks for any help/advice...

Edited March 7, 2017 by ja123

[ja123]

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Youaren't going to get billed in another province. They always waive those fees.That is standard procedure, I think you are taking things and making somethingto justify your feelings.

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]Myex bf was from Scotland became sick here. The hospital treated him and the docdid follow ups at no cost. That is the beauty of health care in Canada.

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]

[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]Gladyour BF didn't have to pay anything ... usually people from other countriesenter with travel health insurance(??)

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[FONT=Times New Roman][sIZE=3][/sIZE][/FONT]Asdoc's secretary pointed out: Quebec is the only province in Canada that doesn'thave an agreement with the other provinces for coverage when moving. Ittakes 3 months to get a new healthcare card in the new province.

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[JuneL]

To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.

 

 

Any suggestions as to how I should go about severing our doctor/patient relationship?

 

 

Should I ask psych whether he can take over prescribing? (Kind of hard to do without telling him about my crush)

 

 

Should I tell my GP that I'm looking for a new female doc and ask whether he can prescribe 3-6 months of renewals?

 

 

Thanks for any help/advice...

 

I would think it's quite natural for the psychiatrist to take over prescribing your antidepressants. It's one thing to have an innocent crush (you can just laugh about it with your friends), but it's another to be obsessed and consumed by it. More often than not, having an unhealthy crush on a married guy may be the result of other underlying personal issues, e.g., you don't have enough emotional support in your personal life. If it's the latter case, it might not be such a bad idea to share with your psych.

[PrettyEmily77]

To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.

 

 

Any suggestions as to how I should go about severing our doctor/patient relationship?

 

 

Should I ask psych whether he can take over prescribing? (Kind of hard to do without telling him about my crush)

 

 

Should I tell my GP that I'm looking for a new female doc and ask whether he can prescribe 3-6 months of renewals?

 

 

Thanks for any help/advice...

 

So sorry for your and your mother's loss, ja.

 

You don't really owe anyone any explanation, or need to tell your psychiatrist about your crush - no one is at fault here; it is what it is. If you feel you have to tell him anything, just say personal circumstances have made it so that you'd rather deal with one medical professional for a bit, and leave it at that until you have processed things and / or / if you are ready to talk about it some more.

 

Re telling your doc, is there any way you could register with a new GP before your prescription runs out?

 

In all honesty, I'm not sure about getting a 3-month renewal prescription for antidepressants without seeing a doctor or your psych - you need support too.

 

I hope you're taking care of yourself, in the meantime.

[JuneL]

To complicate matters, my step-father died last night and I'm the only child of my mother, she's alone now .. I am with her and doing a good job of holding her up ... no booze today. Anyhow, I may post about that in another thread.

 

 

I am deeply sorry about that. (((Hug)))

Edited March 8, 2017 by JuneL