lana-banana Posted October 19, 2016 Share Posted October 19, 2016 (edited) He may not be a "typical conman" in that he isn't literally a grifter, but he is a remorseless liar who doesn't care about a future with you. You need to get him out of your life as quickly as possible. Don't stay with him, don't talk to him, and for God's sake don't be intimate with him. Get away. No_Go, start from the beginning of this thread and read back. Look how much power and control you've ceded to him already! You deserve so much better than someone who treats you like this. Red flags are like cockroaches---if you see one, it's almost always just the first sign of a huge but hidden problem. Edited October 19, 2016 by lana-banana 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 19, 2016 Author Share Posted October 19, 2016 I almost let him do it deliberately knowing my own faults. I wanted to make him feel more powerful because he needed it. Seems like he drained my poweres though I'm writing down the cockroach quote - it is SO true.. He may not be a "typical conman" in that he isn't literally a grifter, but he is a remorseless liar who doesn't care about a future with you. You need to get him out of your life as quickly as possible. Don't stay with him, don't talk to him, and for God's sake don't be intimate with him. Get away. No_Go, start from the beginning of this thread and read back. Look how much power and control you've ceded to him already! You deserve so much better than someone who treats you like this. Red flags are like cockroaches---if you see one, it's almost always just the first sign of a huge but hidden problem. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 Here we are almost 3 weeks after the initial drama. I can't get the courage to get out. I still have some feelings left for him, or maybe nostalgia, or pity towards the future we've been planning. We talk about stuff when I get hme, but it always, just always goes to the f*ckin failed relationship. At least I finally know who I've been dating - he has been more open now than before about nearly everything. We stopped having sex which is so weird. I feel like hugging sometimes because I just need human contact, he thinks it is because I miss him so it is alkward as hell. His dad will visit in few days and it will be even more awkward. I found a friend's place to stay temporarily - I'm just too much of a p*ssy to pull the plug and move. Maybe in few days I'll get there... Link to post Share on other sites
Space Ritual Posted October 25, 2016 Share Posted October 25, 2016 Jesus H. Christ. Real sorry that the manipulation continues. He is very skilled at it. He knows exactly what buttons to push on you. It may take multiple attempts still for you to get away from him for good, but if you can manage it, run as fast as you can. Sound like he has just emotionally pummeled you to the point that you barely know what day it is. Life is to short for that. I hope he does not know where you are. If he does I'd move to another location and send someone else to get your stuff. You say that you have some lingering feelings, well that's all fine and good, but at what cost to you do these feelings come with? Think long and hard about that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author No_Go Posted October 25, 2016 Author Share Posted October 25, 2016 Space, he just can't manipulate me. In my core I'm a loner so relationships and attachments do not work for me in the traditional way. I need to re-center, certainly, I'm not a sociopath - almost 2 years together and I will miss the person even if he was a green monster. But you're right - time to run a cost-benefit analysis on the emotional end. Jesus H. Christ. Real sorry that the manipulation continues. He is very skilled at it. He knows exactly what buttons to push on you. It may take multiple attempts still for you to get away from him for good, but if you can manage it, run as fast as you can. Sound like he has just emotionally pummeled you to the point that you barely know what day it is. Life is to short for that. I hope he does not know where you are. If he does I'd move to another location and send someone else to get your stuff. You say that you have some lingering feelings, well that's all fine and good, but at what cost to you do these feelings come with? Think long and hard about that. Link to post Share on other sites
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