Caught girlfriend yesterday and don't know how to proceed

[PegNosePete]

a lot of women there that I've talked to refer to a man cheating as the norm.

Well, duh. If you asked a lot of men you'd probably get the opposite results.

 

Do you have a source to back up your claim? Or is it simply your own limited experience you're using to extrapolate an entire country?

 

There are many ways this kind of statistic can be distorted:

Maybe the women are just better at cheating, and don't get caught as often?

Maybe the men who get cheated on don't make the information public as often (pride)?

[Strekoza]

Well, duh. If you asked a lot of men you'd probably get the opposite results.

 

Do you have a source to back up your claim? Or is it simply your own limited experience you're using to extrapolate an entire country?

 

There are many ways this kind of statistic can be distorted:

Maybe the women are just better at cheating, and don't get caught as often?

Maybe the men who get cheated on don't make the information public as often (pride)?

 

Ok, than how about a link for reference. Just one quick google search away, the world is at your fingertips.

 

In Russia, a lack of men forces women to settle for less ? Latitude News

[Timshel]

Unless the man is gay, he will need a woman to cheat with. If the woman he cheats with is single, she is still a cheater.

[PegNosePete]

Ok, than how about a link for reference. Just one quick google search away, the world is at your fingertips.

 

In Russia, a lack of men forces women to settle for less ? Latitude News

There are absolutely zero statistics in that article.

[elaine567]

Ok, than how about a link for reference. Just one quick google search away, the world is at your fingertips.

 

In Russia, a lack of men forces women to settle for less ? Latitude News

 

And this actually sounds good to you???

[Strekoza]

Unless the man is gay, he will need a woman to cheat with. If the woman he cheats with is single, she is still a cheater.

 

Lol, good point. If she's single, I don't see how she is. Especially if he doesn't tell her about his wife. That is not to say there aren't married women who do, but it's definitely not as common. Also, the man is usually very strict about where he allows his women to go and with whom. Can't really blame him...

[Strekoza]

And this actually sounds good to you???

 

Well, I can post one with statistics to. It was just a quick result and easy to read.

Here you go:

POPULATION - FEMALE (% OF TOTAL) IN RUSSIA

[PegNosePete]

Well, I can post one with statistics to. It was just a quick result and easy to read.

Here you go:

POPULATION - FEMALE (% OF TOTAL) IN RUSSIA

I don't see how a 3-5% difference can cause all of that waffle in that article. If you're talking about a 75/25 split then maybe! But 3-5% is very little.

 

And % of male / female has absolutely nothing to do with the number of men or women who cheat.

Edited July 29, 2016 by PegNosePete

[Strekoza]

I don't see how a 5% difference can cause all of that waffle in that article. If you're talking about a 75/25 split then maybe! But 5% is very little.

 

And % of male / female has absolutely nothing to do with the number of men or women who cheat.

 

While there is no direct connection between population and cheaters. Just the fact that there isn't enough men for all the women makes them fear losing the man. I know for a fact that the biggest fear all Russian women have since they're little girls is that they won't get married. Very different mentality

[PegNosePete]

I know for a fact that the biggest fear all Russian women have

Really? Did you ask them all? Do you have a source for that claim?

 

I'm not sure there's really much point to all of this anyway. What are you trying to prove here, that Russian women are more likely to be faithful to you? Well OK then, if you believe that, date a Russian.

[stillafool]

Really? Did you ask them all? Do you have a source for that claim?

 

I'm not sure there's really much point to all of this anyway. What are you trying to prove here, that Russian women are more likely to be faithful to you? Well OK then, if you believe that, date a Russian.

 

^^^^^This! OP this seems like a no brainer to us.

[Tribble]

Scooting back a little to the original post. Didn't you say you were on a break when you caught her 'cheating'? While it is less than ideal behaviour, it is a cheating grey area at best. You also have no evidence of anything other than she went to a fair with some guy. Something may have happened or it may not have. Either way, you don't have 100% certainty that she cheated. She could have handled it better for sure. But maybe you can take some comfort that it wasn't her necessarily being disloyal. Time to move on from this one though.

[Strekoza]

Really? Did you ask them all? Do you have a source for that claim?

 

I'm not sure there's really much point to all of this anyway. What are you trying to prove here, that Russian women are more likely to be faithful to you? Well OK then, if you believe that, date a Russian.

 

I'm not really trying to prove anything, you are the one who keeps asking me to prove it. I know from growing up with Russian parents, going to visit family in Moscow twice a year since i was like 5. Studying there for a year when I was 18, having Russian friends, watching the movies and dating the girls.

[Strekoza]

Scooting back a little to the original post. Didn't you say you were on a break when you caught her 'cheating'? While it is less than ideal behaviour, it is a cheating grey area at best. You also have no evidence of anything other than she went to a fair with some guy. Something may have happened or it may not have. Either way, you don't have 100% certainty that she cheated. She could have handled it better for sure. But maybe you can take some comfort that it wasn't her necessarily being disloyal. Time to move on from this one though.

 

Yeah, but by break we meant that we wanted to go from talking every day to taking a weekend to think about things, not date others. Do I really need evidence? After all it's a relationship, not a lawsuit. My trust for her has been compromised.

[Tribble]

Yeah, but by break we meant that we wanted to go from talking every day to taking a weekend to think about things, not date others. Do I really need evidence? After all it's a relationship, not a lawsuit. My trust for her has been compromised.

 

Breaks are a minefield. Everyone interprets them differently. Ever seen Friends? You don't trust her, that's why I said to move on from this one. Regardless of what happened, this relationship wasn't going to work for a number of reasons. All I'm saying is this particular case may not point to all girls of a certain type being cheaters.

[PegNosePete]

Do I really need evidence? After all it's a relationship, not a lawsuit.

Absolutely agree. No you do not need evidence. It is not a lawsuit and you don't need proof beyond reasonable doubt. If you don't want to be in a relationship with her any more, for any reason of your choosing (or even for no reason at all), then you have every right to just break up.

[SevenCity]

Strekoza - I think you have some serious mental issues that you need to deal with before you seek another relationship. I'm not saying this to be mean, but you obviously have anger issues which will ruin any relationship you enter.

 

As far as finding a virgin, how about checking out some of the religious sects that promote marrying as a virgin? It's hard to find a virgin if that is important to you so you should look for circles where they are more apt to be.

 

I dated one Russian girl and a friend dated another. Both were married and frequently cheating on their husbands (both lived in the US). In my experience, Russian woman are the worst when it comes to cheating (not only these two examples).

 

Although it may be wrong, there are things you can do to push a woman into another's arms. Anger and making them not feel special are top of the list. When guys cheat, it usually stems from physical needs / attraction. When women cheat it usually stems from emotional needs.

[elaine567]

In my experience, Russian woman are the worst when it comes to cheating (not only these two examples).

 

 

Am I surprised? If cheating is seen as the norm and tolerated by Russian women, then of course women are going to cheat, she is not going to sit back whilst her husband is out there cheating with every woman in sight, is she?

If 9/10 men are cheating then who are they cheating with, if all the women are little angels???

[SevenCity]

Am I surprised? If cheating is seen as the norm and tolerated by Russian women, then of curse women are going to cheat, they are not going to sit back whilst their husband is out there cheating is she?

If 9/10 men are cheating then who are they cheating with, if all the women are little angels???

 

It was said here before and I agree:

 

There are two kinds of people, those who always cheat, those who never cheat.

 

A cheating spouse does not make someone cheat. There are other reasons within a person. Many of the people here who were cheated on did not and have not cheated on their partners. I think it is the reason they were so hurt that makes them not want to ever cheat no matter what.

[ExpatInItaly]

I actually would love to relocate there, but it's tough to get a decent job in this economy as well as me not being a citizen. I go to visit multiple times every year and cry every time I come back here, lol.

I've tried dating all kinds of different women and am realizing that Russians are the only ones capable of understanding me, giving me the love I truly deserve and relating to me in ways no one else can. With American women we come to disagreements on the first date already and eventually I just end up avoiding them and ignoring their calls afterwards.

 

If you have dated Russian girls before, what happened to bring those relationships to an end?

[Strekoza]

If you have dated Russian girls before, what happened to bring those relationships to an end?

 

Most never made it to relationship status simply because I saw no point in starting a relationship when I'm only permanently there. When I studied there, I had a temporary girlfriend, but she pissed me off one time when we went to a bar and I got drunk she went dancing with another guy, never spoke to her again. Also, one of them was my "first" so I kept her around and I still see her when I visit Moscow, probably the sweetest girl I know, best friend I have and she outlasted my past 3 girlfriends. Unfortunately, she is not what I look for in a wife though.

[Strekoza]

It was said here before and I agree:

 

There are two kinds of people, those who always cheat, those who never cheat.

 

A cheating spouse does not make someone cheat. There are other reasons within a person. Many of the people here who were cheated on did not and have not cheated on their partners. I think it is the reason they were so hurt that makes them not want to ever cheat no matter what.

 

I second that. As someone who got cheated on twice in a row I still have no desire to cheat, too proud for that. I don't believe it's a learned behavior.

[Strekoza]

Strekoza - I think you have some serious mental issues that you need to deal with before you seek another relationship. I'm not saying this to be mean, but you obviously have anger issues which will ruin any relationship you enter.

 

As far as finding a virgin, how about checking out some of the religious sects that promote marrying as a virgin? It's hard to find a virgin if that is important to you so you should look for circles where they are more apt to be.

 

I dated one Russian girl and a friend dated another. Both were married and frequently cheating on their husbands (both lived in the US). In my experience, Russian woman are the worst when it comes to cheating (not only these two examples).

 

Although it may be wrong, there are things you can do to push a woman into another's arms. Anger and making them not feel special are top of the list. When guys cheat, it usually stems from physical needs / attraction. When women cheat it usually stems from emotional needs.

 

Yeah, I thought about the religious girls. Don't think I can do it, personally.

Wait so you were dating a married woman? She didn't tell you that she was married? I think in this case they are probably mail order brides who married an American so they can get their citizenship and are in a miserable marriage. Regardless, those are the ****ed up, gold digging kind of Russian women, they exist too... Unfortunately.

 

Yeah, that day I asked her. "What is it that I wasn't giving you? I gave you literally everything any woman can ever dream of and you still managed to betray me." All she could come up with was that she wanted to go to that fair and that I wouldn't take her which is bull**** because she never asked.

[ExpatInItaly]

Most never made it to relationship status simply because I saw no point in starting a relationship when I'm only permanently there. When I studied there, I had a temporary girlfriend, but she pissed me off one time when we went to a bar and I got drunk she went dancing with another guy, never spoke to her again. Also, one of them was my "first" so I kept her around and I still see her when I visit Moscow, probably the sweetest girl I know, best friend I have and she outlasted my past 3 girlfriends. Unfortunately, she is not what I look for in a wife though.

 

Does this not debase your theory that a Russian girl would somehow be more loyal to you?

 

Regardless, I think you need to spend some time healing and enjoying being single. Get yourself into a healthier emotional place. What is the rush to marry?

[Strekoza]

Does this not debase your theory that a Russian girl would somehow be more loyal to you?

 

Regardless, I think you need to spend some time healing and enjoying being single. Get yourself into a healthier emotional place. What is the rush to marry?

 

Honestly, I just feel nervous that I'm getting older and it will be very difficult to find exactly what I'm looking for. That's why I want to find and secure her while I still have the chance. The reason I'm so hurt right now is probably because while I was with her I was always telling myself that I already had a perfect wife, in a few years we'll have kids and all I have to focus on right now is my career. Now I feel like the rug has been pulled from under my feet and I have nothing again. It's affecting me in every way, I wake up every morning at 4am and have to convince myself that this really happened, not a dream. I haven't been able to perform at work at all this week, cancelled on some of the most promising clients I had because I wasn't in the mood. Went to a bar last night to socialize and ended up leaving with my drink to cry on a bench by myself for hours. Worst thing is that when I tried to talk to any other girls I instantly felt unnatracted and would end the conversation short, this is horrible... I almost feel like calling my ex, the one that I had before this one and asking what happened after we broke up since it is a very similar situation.

Edited July 30, 2016 by Strekoza