Men who follow lot of women at Instagram?

[d0nnivain]

Well social media is part of our life now a days. It is not meaningless. People for instance put there their wedding photos and mark down birthdays and what not. People keep in touch via social media. They tell about themselves. If social media is pointless then whats the point of this forum? This is social media as well. Dont people get help from here every day.

 

Social media does have a function -- it allows people to keep in touch in ways they never have before.

 

However it remains meaningless because it's virtual. Just because some guy "follows" women on IG or people post sexy pictures of themselves does not make them bad human beings. When you start making judgements about real life people based on how the act in a virtual world, then it's problematic.

 

Here you are seeking to condemn some guy for doing little more then looking. To me that is a far cry from similar behavior IRL, catcalling, or hitting on anything that moves.

 

People need to distinguish OL behavior from IRL. they are vastly different & the OL persona is trivial at best

[Gloria25]

It's social media. It's meaningless. If it bugs you stop dating him but don't try to change him. Following that many women means a). he has too much time on his hands. b). he likes looking at pictures of woman c). he wants his ego stroked because somehow IG makes him feel better about himself.

 

And, IMO, options a, b, and c are all bad.

 

Look, for ages men have taken looksies at skin mags. But gosh, past teenage curiousty, it's wrong, IMO...especially if you have a woman.

 

And for me social media is more personal...cuz some chick in a Playboy? No guy (except psycho celebrity stalkers) is gonna realistically think he can connect and/or have a chance with that woman...on Facebook, with just a click of a button you're messaging, then sending them money, etc.

 

You know, at one time MySpace was for trashy people like that, but now Facebook doesn't regulate the garbage and obscenities some people have on their profiles. They recently enabled sending money...perhaps to encourage this trashy exchange on their site (and for more ammo that they can sell to the govt on you in case one day govt wants to blackmail you about all the chicks you were following online - by threatening to tell your spouse).

 

I would not respect my guy if I caught him doing that. I mean, if you're that sad to be following some stupid chick who's sad sense of seeking validation is endless selfies of her half naked and/or she's trying to "trick"/"sugar baby" men by enticing them with her pics...then you are also stupid, sorry, and sad. For that, drive down to your local strip club and hang out there and stare all day with your pathetic self...

[Jabron1]

Social media does have a function -- it allows people to keep in touch in ways they never have before.

 

However it remains meaningless because it's virtual. Just because some guy "follows" women on IG or people post sexy pictures of themselves does not make them bad human beings. When you start making judgements about real life people based on how the act in a virtual world, then it's problematic.

 

Here you are seeking to condemn some guy for doing little more then looking. To me that is a far cry from similar behavior IRL, catcalling, or hitting on anything that moves.

 

People need to distinguish OL behavior from IRL. they are vastly different & the OL persona is trivial at best

 

Speaking as a guy, that understands other guys, I can tell you that what a lot of men are doing is a sort of coward's pursuit of women over social media.

 

In terms of 'game', adding hot girls and liking their pictures or posting on their wall is uncomfortably close to getting her number and texting her something flattering.

 

I know guys who play this game very well, and get good results from it. They have completely changed my opinions of social media just being 'for orbiters'.

 

I see no reason why a woman in a serious relationship with a guy should put up with it. It's showing crappy boundaries at best.

[Gloria25]

Speaking as a guy, that understands other guys, I can tell you that what a lot of men are doing is a sort of coward's pursuit of women over social media.

 

In terms of 'game', adding hot girls and liking their pictures or posting on their wall is uncomfortably close to getting her number and texting her something flattering.

 

I know guys who play this game very well, and get good results from it. They have completely changed my opinions of social media just being 'for orbiters'.

 

I see no reason why a woman in a serious relationship with a guy should put up with it. It's showing crappy boundaries at best.

 

I agree with you that some men aren't just looking at pics, they are hoping for a "connection" with that person. But I don't agree with you that these guys are getting good results

 

Think about it. What woman who's realistically looking to date one guy is gonna put herself on display like that? Freakin Jodi Arias, in jail, gets poems, love letters, money, and marriage propsals from some lonely and sorry men out there and these skanks on Facebook are capitalizing on thos sad guys. Some of those women on Facebook are just doing it for validation - which is also sad.

 

I mean, everytime I log onto the free porno sites, I get a pop-up of a chick wanting to video chat with me. She's lying on her bed in front of the camera and ready to go. Geesh, no wonder why the porno is free - to wet your appetite for spending $5.00 an hour online/phone with these chicks....

 

Same thing when you go to the casinos...free drinks to get you randy and excited to waste your money. These chicks use the pictures to entice men and see which one is dumb enough to be taken on a ride. Some of those chicks might even give you a free hit of sex to wet your appetite and then come the sob stories about her needing money, rides, or whatever they can get from you.

 

So it's not just social media, it's more than that.

[Jabron1]

I agree with you that some men aren't just looking at pics, they are hoping for a "connection" with that person. But I don't agree with you that these guys are getting good results

 

I'm old fashioned in some ways. I don't like social media, and (for the most part) have refused to use it.

 

I nearly fell out with the girl that I've just started seeing over this (and I really like her). I'm really not doing it for anybody.

 

My point was that I am out of the loop when it comes to social media. But, I've been talking to one of my cousins and his friend lately, and they have convinced me that it isn't just for orbiters, and that a guy can get very good results from it (I'm still not using it though ).

 

Still, that is an exception. The average chode is still just orbiting planet hotgirl, and giving endless attention for nothing.

 

However, the behaviour of the men is a pursuit.

 

A beta-male pathetic pursuit is still a pursuit. Learn to see it for what it is. It's orbiting.

[Fruitee]

But if you are ok with him watching women naked every now and then, why is IG not ok?

 

Is it really the amount of time he has been spending on it?

 

Of course the amount of time and purpose matters. Healthy people watch porn to get off. People who are addicted watch it all the time.

 

Looking at sexy women/men on regular bases from the internet has affect on people. It is proven.

[Fruitee]

Social media does have a function -- it allows people to keep in touch in ways they never have before.

 

However it remains meaningless because it's virtual. Just because some guy "follows" women on IG or people post sexy pictures of themselves does not make them bad human beings. When you start making judgements about real life people based on how the act in a virtual world, then it's problematic.

 

Here you are seeking to condemn some guy for doing little more then looking. To me that is a far cry from similar behavior IRL, catcalling, or hitting on anything that moves.

 

People need to distinguish OL behavior from IRL. they are vastly different & the OL persona is trivial at best

 

So to you it is ok e.g. catcall or bully women online? Because it is not real and its meaningless? How about someone sending you dick pics that you didnt ask for? Or harrassing you online? How is it different from someone showing you his dick out at the street?

[Fruitee]

Amen to Gloria25s posts. I agree.

[SammySammy]

I've never tried to pick up anyone on social media. Never slid into any DMs or anything like that.

 

I'm not sure looking at a picture of an attractive woman is quite the same things as trying to pick up somebody on the sly. Those are separate issues. They could be related, but I'm not sure it's accurate to assume any man who views or likes pictures of women is on some weak pick up mission.

[xxoo]

I'd question his maturity. It strikes me as weak to be openly fawning over random people on the internet. At least have the self control to look strong and keep that stuff to yourself

[Jabron1]

I've never tried to pick up anyone on social media. Never slid into any DMs or anything like that.

 

I'm not sure looking at a picture of an attractive woman is quite the same things as trying to pick up somebody on the sly. Those are separate issues. They could be related, but I'm not sure it's accurate to assume any man who views or likes pictures of women is on some weak pick up mission.

 

As long as the 'hot girl' in question ignores the guy, I'm sure his girlfriend will have nothing to worry about

 

This is one issue where I'm on (most) women's side.

 

Porn isn't sh*t. This however, is not the way someone should act when they say they're committed IMO.

[Buddhist]

You can't save people from themselves. Look if some guy is going to pursue or even start up a relationship with some chick online, he was going to do it no matter what. Sooner or later some chick who is hotter than you will appear in your life. As a woman, you cannot live in fear of that moment. Those are moments where you get to find out the character of your partner.

 

People who cheat, do it no matter what, it's not because IG exists or FB or any other such thing. It's because of who that person is. Telling your partner that his IG habits bother you may feel reassuring but it's really not. All that's going to happen is he is going to create a fake account and do it there so you don't know about it. It's not as if he's going to change his habits.

 

The whole world thinks you can control your partners behaviour through negotiation or whatever. It just doesn't happen, sorry but it doesn't. The person you are shacked up with will not change a thing because you're on the scene. Everyone meets a cheater or five in their lifetime, why? Because the world is full of people unable to find a moral compass for themselves. Better to know it sooner than later. No-one finds comfort in discovering who their partner really is 20yrs, kids and house down the track.

 

I say, put temptation right in his path. It's the quickest, surest and easiest way to not waste your time on someone who has a weak character. Become impervious to circumstance and learn to roll with the punches, otherwise you will never feel secure in life.

[Gloria25]

I've never tried to pick up anyone on social media. Never slid into any DMs or anything like that.

 

I'm not sure looking at a picture of an attractive woman is quite the same things as trying to pick up somebody on the sly. Those are separate issues. They could be related, but I'm not sure it's accurate to assume any man who views or likes pictures of women is on some weak pick up mission.

 

Well then, if he's not trying to pick up chicks, then what's his motivation?

 

Like I said, a b and c are all bad. Cuz if he has idle time, then go do something productive like volunteering, exercising, a hobby/sport. If he has ego issues, go work out, socialize in real life and get off the couch/away from the computer....oh and I forgot reason "c".

[Gloria25]

As long as the 'hot girl' in question ignores the guy, I'm sure his girlfriend will have nothing to worry about

 

This is one issue where I'm on (most) women's side.

 

Porn isn't sh*t. This however, is not the way someone should act when they say they're committed IMO.

 

Oh, and that's what some women think - like, "Oh, let him have his little and pathetic flirting/ogling of other women, cuz they're just ignoring his silly little self".

 

Ok, I'm not the controlling type, but if I'm your woman, you will respect me and our marriage. I'd find it embarrassing if people would be smirking at how they catch my man trying to hit on/stare at other women....also, the type of man I chose says a lot about me and my vagina ain't getting wet if I have a man who is so low on ego that I have to stand by and let him chat up other women to feel good about himself.

[Buddhist]

Like I said, a b and c are all bad. Cuz if he has idle time, then go do something productive like volunteering, exercising, a hobby/sport. If he has ego issues, go work out, socialize in real life and get off the couch/away from the computer....oh and I forgot reason "c".

 

Because what you prefer someone did with their spare time is after all the gold standard of how they should live their lives. Honestly, this thread is just a huge pile of judgements about what people 'think' looking at pretty pictures on the internet means.

 

Where's the thread titled.....My GF spends all her spare time on Pinterest, I think she's cheating on me with kitchen cabinets. Or how about... My GF spends all her spare time on Pinterest collecting pictures of kittens, why isn't she out there helping the homeless instead, disgusting!

 

They're just value judgements based on nothing really. Same as the OP, it's just outrage because the person posting it feels insecure. It really has nothing to do with the guy. It's projection.

[Gloria25]

Because what you prefer someone did with their spare time is after all the gold standard of how they should live their lives. Honestly, this thread is just a huge pile of judgements about what people 'think' looking at pretty pictures on the internet means.

 

Where's the thread titled.....My GF spends all her spare time on Pinterest, I think she's cheating on me with kitchen cabinets. Or how about... My GF spends all her spare time on Pinterest collecting pictures of kittens, why isn't she out there helping the homeless instead, disgusting!

 

They're just value judgements based on nothing really. Same as the OP, it's just outrage because the person posting it feels insecure. It really has nothing to do with the guy. It's projection.

 

I'm not telling no one how to live their lives...but I can guarantee you that no man I'm gonna respect/date is some dude who just sits around all day and wastes "life" on ogling lowlife skanks online.

 

And I'm glad to see that expecting "respect" in a relationship = insecurities.

 

Insecurities would be me upset that we're watching TV and my man says "Angelina Jolie is hawt!!!". Disrespect is my man going online and ogling photos, "liking" those photos and etc of other, living/breathing, women who he can communicate with.

 

And no, checking out house stuff on Pinterest and/or pics of kitties is comparing apples to oranges - unless he's into beastiality. I go online and search images for ideas for parties, decorations, etc...I'm not getting a hardon from doing that. Also, anyone who spends more time on the net instead of having a life is sad to me and not someone I see myself with. Relationships are about compatability...I'm not compatible with a couch potato who lives a virtual existence.

[Buddhist]

I'm not telling no one how to live their lives...but I can guarantee you that no man I'm gonna respect/date is some dude who just sits around all day and wastes "life" on ogling lowlife skanks online.

 

Just so we're clear here.....

 

Women on instagram are lowlife shanks......kay. The ones on my BF's account actually seem pretty normal to me and are mostly fully dressed apart from bikini shots at the beach with friends.

 

Men who follow women on instragram sit around all day wasting 'life'.....kay. Again the one I know holds a full-time job, has a part-time business and works out 2hrs everyday. Yeah I can see where you're coming from....

 

Insecurities would be me upset that we're watching TV and my man says "Angelina Jolie is hawt!!!". Disrespect is my man going online and ogling photos, "liking" those photos and etc of other, living/breathing, women who he can communicate with.

 

Actually no they are both insecurities if your man has not pursued a relationship/contact with them. The mere availability/accessability of a women doesn't make it disrespect. It means you don't trust your man, if her availability makes a difference. Good luck defending your man against all available women he may encounter in his time with you. This idea that my man is only allowed to appreciate women I am reasonably certain want nothing to do with him, is the very definition of insecurity.

 

Also, anyone who spends more time on the net instead of having a life is sad to me and not someone I see myself with. Relationships are about compatability...I'm not compatible with a couch potato who lives a virtual existence.

 

Here we go again with that judgement that anyone who plays on the internet in their spare time is a couch potato with no life. That a man looking at pictures of a woman instantly means he's got a hard-on or getting off on it. Who said anything about spending more time online than elsewhere? It's possible for someone to follow 1,000 people online and still not be spending all day on it. Interesting views on life Gloria, glad I don't share them.

Edited May 28, 2016 by Buddhist

[Gloria25]

I know guys who follow a ton of ladies on Instagram. Every one of those guys is an absolute jerk to women. Take from that what you will.

 

Thank you...

 

IMO, guys like that grow to see women as "objects" and/or meat.

[SammySammy]

I just looked at my Instagram account. I'm a hobbyist photographer and my account is used to display my work. However, I looked at the major things I follow. They are primarily:

 

• Photography
  
• My fraternity
  
• Architecture
  
• Sports cars
  
• Fitness models
  

I don't think I'm a jerk to beautiful houses. Don't think I'm trying to have sex with a fast car on the sly. Definitely not trying to pick up Big Brother Haze-Me-Not. Quite sure I'm not rubbing one out to that other photographer's picture of the Dallas skyline at night.

 

I don't know. Maybe to some people they are just ... pictures.

 

Maybe some of us are capable of appreciating beautiful women just as we are capable of appreciating beautiful homes, cars and sunsets.

Edited May 28, 2016 by MidKnightDreams

[xxoo]

I just looked at my Instagram account. I'm a hobbyist photographer and my account is used to display my work. However, I looked at the major things I follow. They are primarily:

 

• Photography
  
• My fraternity
  
• Architecture
  
• Sports cars
  
• Fitness models
  

I don't think I'm a jerk to beautiful houses. Don't think I'm trying to have sex with a fast car on the sly. Definitely not trying to pick up Big Brother Haze-Me-Not. Quite sure I'm not rubbing one out to that other photographer's picture of the Dallas skyline at night.

 

I don't know. Maybe to some people they are just ... pictures.

 

Maybe some of us are capable of appreciating beautiful women just as we are capable of appreciating beautiful homes, cars and sunsets.

 

But they are women, not objects like houses or cars.

 

Of course men appreciate beautiful women. Surely men can do that without collecting photos of beautiful women. It seems a bit immature, and a girlfriend isn't going to respect your "collection".

[d0nnivain]

So to you it is ok e.g. catcall or bully women online? Because it is not real and its meaningless? How about someone sending you dick pics that you didnt ask for? Or harrassing you online? How is it different from someone showing you his dick out at the street?

 

 

As I understood it, your original Q had to do with a guy following women on social media. To me that means the guy is "friends" with these people & as such receives photos they chose to share with the world, him included because they accepted his friend request. He may or may not like the pictures he sees & he may or may not comment on them. He's not forcing himself on someone who doesn't want to be associated with him. He's not harassing these women. He looks at the photos the women posted.

 

 

To me the above behavior is no big deal & the # of women a man is friends with OL is irrelevant to any analysis I would do about the man. Social media doesn't mean that much to me.

 

 

His behavior is clearly making you crazy. So that means if his behavior is unacceptable to you, then you get to vote with your feet & dissociate yourself from him. Just because I think that would be an overreaction also has no moment. I'm not you. You and I don't know each other. So my opinion doesn't have to matter to you.

 

 

What you can't do is try to force this guy to change his ways to suit you.

 

 

If he is cyber bullying somebody that may be a different story All you said was that he was "following" a large # of women. Now following them IRL would be stalking but the OL meaning is far more innocuous. You never said his behavior was vulgar. All he did was react to what the posters put out there. While I really don't blame the victim, I do think that when women act a certain way, they can't complain too loudly about certain reactions, e.g. you wear a short skirt & high heels, getting indignant & throwing a feminist rant is not fair but on the other end of the spectrum, you walk down the street naked, that is still not an invitation to rape or sexual assault.

[SammySammy]

I'm sorry. You guys are trying to place "meaning" on something that means nothing to some men.

 

For the men who are trying to pick up women from social media, you may have a point.

 

For another guy that sees a picture and thinks "she's a pretty girl" and goes about his day thinking nothing else of it, you're absolutely wrong.

 

You're just wrong.

 

You can't slap your perception on an experience and say that it applies to all men. It just doesn't.

[SammySammy]

You are kinda backing up my point for me here. These are women you are talking about, not homes, cars, or sunsets, but people.

 

Also, when you look at a picture of a fast car, you want do drive it, I assume, not have sex with it, correct? Maybe you want to live in those nice homes you check out. You can't drive, or live in a woman, now can you? That comparison just does not work. I'm guessing you want to have sex with those girls on Instgram, or at least think about doing so, and any girl you end up dating will be thinking the same thing.

 

I would not say that following a lot of women on Istagram makes a guy a jerk, but I have noticed a correlation. That is enough for me to caution women away from dating such a guy. I know I would not date the female equivalent.

 

Please.

 

Men see pretty women walk in front of them, take a glance ... and go about their business. Men do that all day, every day around the world. IN PERSON! Do you mean to tell me we can't do that to a picture!? Are you serious?

 

I'm not buying it, enigma.

Edited May 28, 2016 by MidKnightDreams

[Gloria25]

Please.

 

Men see pretty women walk in front of them, take a glance ... and go about their business. Men do that all day, every day around the world. IN PERSON! Do you mean to tell me we can't do that to a picture!? Are you serious?

 

I'm not buying it, enigma. You gotta sell that BS down the street.

 

But these guys on social media are doing more than looking snd moving on. They add these women as "friends", they follow them...so, each time they put up another scantily selfie the guy is notified and he "likes", comments, and/or stares at it.

 

Yes, I look up images of guys and gals and my intent isn't to bone them. Sometimes I'm comparing dress style, fitness, looks, to mine....I look at Angelina Jolie now and then and yes, if she'd invite me to a 3some I'd be there with bells. But then again, I'd be intimidated by her prowess But really, I look at her images out of admiration - not cuz I'm some guy getting a hardon.

 

I mean really? A guy looks at fitness models cuz he's admiring their workout routine? Come on, really? Modern day fitness models are just like strippers...they run around half naked and dance all over.

[Buddhist]

they follow them...so, each time they put up another scantily selfie the guy is notified and he "likes", comments, and/or stares at it.

 

Oh noes, he stares at it.

 

Yes, I look up images of guys and gals and my intent isn't to bone them. Sometimes I'm comparing dress style, fitness, looks, to mine....I look at Angelina Jolie now and then and yes, if she'd invite me to a 3some I'd be there with bells. But then again, I'd be intimidated by her prowess But really, I look at her images out of admiration - not cuz I'm some guy getting a hardon.

 

And you know for a fact any man who stares at a photo of a woman is getting a hard-on? In your world if it's got a penis and looking at something with breasts then it's got a hard-on?

 

I mean really? A guy looks at fitness models cuz he's admiring their workout routine? Come on, really? Modern day fitness models are just like strippers...they run around half naked and dance all over.

 

Just wow. Sorry all credibility just went down the toilet here. I'm pretty sure they wear fitness outfits and model gym equipment, exercises and sports supplements actually.

Edited May 28, 2016 by Buddhist