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Ladies, is my size a deal breaker?


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I'm 5'9. When I was in my early twenties (and teens) I was as skinny as a rod. I was in a band and the "rock star" black hair, skinny jeans, type. Girls were all over me.

 

When I hit my mid-twenties I starting bulking up and got muscular. Changed the way I dressed, got normal hair. Girls were still all over me.

 

Different women were attracted, but I got ladies none the less.

 

And if it's any consolation, a close friend of mine that I have known for 20 years is about 5'4. He has no problem getting women back into his bed, he's getting married next month. It's all about confidence. He's not the sexiest thing in the pool.

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How come a guy shouldn't resent women for being attracted to masculine, dominant, take-charge guys? How come it doesn't make women bad women for being attracted to those types of guys?

 

Why would it make them bad women?

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You cant say all girls like such and such.

 

Because every women have their own taste!

 

Just be yourself. Because everybody is unique and that is what last.

You being a amazing person. That will attract girls.

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salparadise
For me the main thing I hate about women is how they have to be attracted to guys that are leaders or just guys that that take the lead or guys that have good leadership skills, never understood why they instinctively and innately look for leadership in men

 

How come a guy shouldn't resent women for being attracted to masculine, dominant, take-charge guys? How come it doesn't make women bad women for being attracted to those types of guys?

 

 

Because back in the day... oh, say between 6m and 10k years ago, before the word monogamy was a thing, before speech as we know it was a thing... we lived in groups where there were a bunch of females, a dominant male, and a bunch of youngsters and immature males (orbiters). The females (all) were bred by the dominant male. He had breeding rights because a) the females selected him because he had the best genes, and b) because if any of the immature males attempted to breed he's kick their ass, and he could because he was the biggest and meanest... the original bad boy.

 

Then around 10k years ago when wandering around picking berries was no longer a thing, and homo's started planting wheat and raising livestock, someone said, ugh-monogamy. And so it became a thing. This allowed the short, skinny males to breed, get some affection, and feel like a stud by distributing the females on a one-to-one basis instead of gravitating toward wealth, dominance, and all getting bred by a handful of the best males.

 

But the problem was, the females were not well served by this new word, "monogamy." By in large they ended up with poorer men who were often shorter, smaller, and more beta too... while they still had the hots for the big, dominant male with copious resources. So the females decided on a compromise... they'd go along with the monogamy thing, but come ovulation day they'd be wanting them some big ole bad boy genes, so they'd sent beta-hubby out for some pizza and they'd get'em some of those, what they wuz craving.

 

Thus, the predilection to select a beta for care-taking and a back-door, bad boy for genetics propagated throughout the gene pool of the homos and to this day they're still optimizing by selecting the big dominant males when the timing is right... and that's sort of where we're at.

 

It's more fun to be selected to do the dirty than to be the provider, but providers can still get some... they just have to understand that it's the womez that decide if and when and how often... and they need to be thankful that the womez decided to play along with the monogamy thing, or they wouldn't be getting none at all.

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Women like men who look like you describe for the same reason men like women who are slim and have a significant breast-waist-hip ratio.

 

But most of us have the ability to intellectualise that a person's size isn't the sum total of what they have to offer. And so those of us (a fair proportion of the human race) who've realised this look for more than physical proportions.

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For me the main thing I hate about women is how they have to be attracted to guys that are leaders or just guys that that take the lead or guys that have good leadership skills, never understood why they instinctively and innately look for leadership in men

 

Because everyone, likes a winner. and leaders tend to be winners too.

We all (men too) like to be on the winning side.

Women want a winner to father their kids as he will give their kids a better chance in life.

Yes, there are downbeat, damaged, vulnerable women who gravitate to "losers", but that is probably more about self sabotage than true attraction, there are also women with a misplaced need to care for and save everyone, who will gravitate to "losers" too.

However for most with a good head on their shoulders and an eye for the future, given the choice (all other things being equal), between the CEO and the guy who makes the tea (and who will still be making the tea in 30 years time), they will choose the CEO every time.

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LookAtThisPOst

The question asked by the OP is kind of an obvious answer to it, is it not? That's kind of like, "Why do men like nice arses on women?" The question is why do they "like", but is he really upset that they want to only date them? Is that it?

 

I mean, I've known out of shape, overweight people be into these kinds of people...I mean, who wouldn't be, but if these overweight people will only limit themselves to dating them...then they are barking up the wrong tree.

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I am not exceedingly tall, but I am 5'6", muscular, solidly built with broad shoulders.

 

I am never going to be a little petite thing. Ain't happening.

 

And I want my men to be larger, and more masculine than i am, so that I don't feel like the masculine one!

 

 

Actually RC, from your description, you are probably quite a few men's physical ideal. A physically strong man is quite often attracted to a physically strong woman. I do mean this as a compliment by the way.

 

These types of threads started by the OP and others--why are women attracted to x (with the presupposition that it isn't fair that women are attracted to x) are rampant on here, and it's not a productive question to be asking. There are many men who are NOT the physical ideal and who do great with women. You should be emulating those guys, OP.

Edited by Imajerk17
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It really doesn't take a lot to be stronger than me

 

You can't control your height, but this is completely within your control.

 

I don't much care about muscle, bulk, or height in men, but a man physically weaker than me would be a complete turnoff. Fortunately that's fairly rare...

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LookAtThisPOst
There's a guy in my office who's 5'2. He met his wife at the office - she's 5'1. They're a cute couple and seem very happy together.

 

This will probably only work if the said woman is shorter than you. Aka - Ruby Slipper's example. Though, there are 5'1" women that have thought that a 5'3" man was unusually short.

 

But I often wondered if the guy is muscular and athletic that it would be the ONLY thing saving him from being turned down for his height.

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anthonyflame
You could find a girl who is 4'11''-5'2'' if you wanted to be taller than her. I'm mostly surprised that you say you're 5'3'' and 100 pounds. I'm 5'3'' and 115 pounds and I'm very skinny. My goodness. In the famous words of the Hodgetwins, "Make some gains."

^This

 

Lol Hodgetwins!

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Why would it make them bad women?

 

In the same way that men are deemed shallow pigs for not being attracted to larger women?

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Eh. I'm a 5'1" guy, who, at 27, also has the face and voice of a young teenager. Never dated, and while my looks aren't necessarily the main reason for that, I accept that no woman is ever going to find me physically attractive, as no sane woman of a proper age range for myself is going to be physically attracted to someone that appears to be a 12 year old boy. Such is life.

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  • 7 months later...
todreaminblue

im five four have dated tall guys and short guys...shorter than me i have dated two.....both were fighters....i have been heavier than guys i have dated and i have also been stronger than guys i have dated....i have a problem with being heavier and stronger....i was able to pick up my ex who was a bouncer body builder.......he could also pick me up he was five ten.....i can fireman lift most of my male friends......i dont expect a guy to be able to lift me..nor do i want him to....i get vertigo.....im overweight at the moment but if i get back into training, and get fit i have a muscular build.....my daughter is four foot nine and she can tackle like you wouldn't believe also physically strong.....seh dates guys of all heights........height is not important or should be an issue.......courage and a sense of self can be though..... you have to have confidence enough i guess to cop ribbings about your gf being taller or bigger than you by people with nothing better to do than point out ..hahah your gf is taller than you....what i dont like is feeling like i have to protect the guy i am with more than myself..... or a guy who would stand behind me in a bad situation.......i like a guy to be able to look after himself..no matter what height he is...or what weight.....deb.....

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LookAtThisPOst
I'm a 21 year old male who's about 5 ft 3 and 100 pounds. So yeah, I just want an honest opinion, would you date a guy this small? I won't get too offended or anything.

 

I workout and it's not like i'm starving myself, i'm just lean. And I think me being pretty short just makes me look even skinnier. There's definitely guys pound-for-pound that are skinnier than I am.

 

Yeah, you may have an issue with attracting women given your numbers. Those numbers are that of a small petite woman. You may want to try for Filipino woman or Asian since they tend to have some women that are 5'0 and under or if possible any woman of any race around the 5'0" height and weight.

 

But 100 lbs? I know some petite women that way that much.

 

But hey, don't feel bad, I've seen women 5'0" that demand a man be 5'10" or 6 feet+ as part of their dating criteria, you know...because...heels, lol. So it's kind of moot in some cases.

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