ConfusedCloud Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 You could find a girl who is 4'11''-5'2'' if you wanted to be taller than her. I'm mostly surprised that you say you're 5'3'' and 100 pounds. I'm 5'3'' and 115 pounds and I'm very skinny. My goodness. In the famous words of the Hodgetwins, "Make some gains." 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I dunno, dude.... Thats about as small as it gets....You better tie a rope to your behind before you go in for the kill...They might be worried you'd fall in..... All kidding aside... Being short is one thing..but I think most women don't quite like the idea of a really small guy...But alas...I saw a woman this morning getting her coffee in front of me...I'd guess she was somewhere between 4'8-4'10....maybe 85-90 lbs ...I could have carried her easily under my arm... But I wouldn't be surprised if even that woman wanted some shrek looking guy that was 6'4" tall..I've seen that at times... Good luck anyway.. TFY Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I'm not offended at all, the big reason why i'm single and never had a girlfriend has little to do with my size. Okay maybe it does, but it's just a small piece of the puzzle. Sure if I were taller it would probably help but iv'e seen guys who don't have the greatest appearance get a girlfriend. It's because of my shyness and social problems and too afraid to take the initiative or next step. And not to mention few chances of meeting women and when I do, i'm too scared to talk to them. Wanna know how to be a single male for a long time? Never talking to girls. I'm glad you realize that is the bigger problem. You will have to work on it. Take a speech class and/or an acting class, something that forces you to be out there. Join any groups you can think of where you will see people repeatedly because that's a good way to meet people. Whether that be sports or a paranormal group or a cooking class or a church group or a bowling league. Practice will make you become more comfortable with it. And if it doesn't and you think you have a real disorder like social anxiety disorder, then that calls for therapy. But I bet you just need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I'm glad you realize that is the bigger problem. You will have to work on it. Take a speech class and/or an acting class, something that forces you to be out there. Join any groups you can think of where you will see people repeatedly because that's a good way to meet people. Whether that be sports or a paranormal group or a cooking class or a church group or a bowling league. Practice will make you become more comfortable with it. And if it doesn't and you think you have a real disorder like social anxiety disorder, then that calls for therapy. But I bet you just need to force yourself out of your comfort zone. Yeah when you're the OP's age there's plenty of opportunities out there, you have to go get them. OP, if you're in college I suggest looking into writing for the school newspaper. I did it and I think it's a really underrated life choice. 1. Writing is enjoyable, and if you're one of the more involved members you can choose what you cover. 2. Flexible time commitment. 3. You'll meet people. I wasn't involved in the social life at all but I know the club had fun together. At the same time, it's likely not a fraternity or a scene in which the social life is a serious matter. 4. In addition to getting your a** out there, you'll meet different kinds of people. I think in general newspaper clubs aren't staffed by kids who fit any box in particular. There's rich kids, socialites, geeky girls, quiet people. In my experience in HS and college the newspaper team was Noah's ark more or less. Two of everyone. 5. Having writing skills will help you prepare cover letters when you look for jobs. 6. Having concrete writing experience you can point to will look good. Especially if you're in a STEM field, where it's an example of well-roundedness that other candidates ostensibly don't have. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 My ex was about your height and we were together for awhile (off and on) I am super petite so it wasn't an issue for me. Some women like super tall dudes and wouldn't date you because you are short, but some women, like me don't put a lot of emphasis on height. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I'm not offended at all, the big reason why i'm single and never had a girlfriend has little to do with my size. Okay maybe it does, but it's just a small piece of the puzzle. Sure if I were taller it would probably help but iv'e seen guys who don't have the greatest appearance get a girlfriend. It's because of my shyness and social problems and too afraid to take the initiative or next step. And not to mention few chances of meeting women and when I do, i'm too scared to talk to them. Wanna know how to be a single male for a long time? Never talking to girls. I'm calling this BS... Sure...Some guys are talkers and some aren't...But there are quiet and confident guys that do great with women ...They don't even have to go after women....women go after them...Now, I know you have to "go where the fish are to catch fish", so to speak...But the whole idea that you need to be some social butterfly is nonsense... I'd say if you are quiet in a weird and creepy way that may be a problem...But if you are just a shy type of guy, stick to being yourself.. Nothing speaks of desperation like putting on an act or being something you aren't comfortable with... I'd say stick to the things you can control...Look your best..Go to a gym and see if you can put on 10-20 lbs of mass...Concentrate on your career... They'll be there... TFY 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I dunno, dude.... Thats about as small as it gets....You better tie a rope to your behind before you go in for the kill...They might be worried you'd fall in..... All kidding aside... Being short is one thing..but I think most women don't quite like the idea of a really small guy...But alas...I saw a woman this morning getting her coffee in front of me...I'd guess she was somewhere between 4'8-4'10....maybe 85-90 lbs ...I could have carried her easily under my arm... But I wouldn't be surprised if even that woman wanted some shrek looking guy that was 6'4" tall..I've seen that at times... Good luck anyway.. TFY Are you referring to penis size? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Are you referring to penis size? No.....Get your head out of the gutter, lady...... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
Jacques on stage Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 I call BS. If this was true, short people would have died out centuries ago. You see people of equal height coupled off ALL THE TIME. Yes short ones too. No its called variation. I also said that 80-90% of women wouldn't be interested not 100%. Seriously, people really need to understand Darwin Ian evolution before they post with reference to it. Link to post Share on other sites
Jacques on stage Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Esp considering OP asked for honest opinions and said he wouldn't take offense. There's a difference between honestly telling someone how their height might be a barrier to attracing women and patronising them by implying that their height effectively makes them an infant. Imagine a guy telling an overweight woman that going out with her might activate the dietician side of his personality. Link to post Share on other sites
Jacques on stage Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Its interesting how men's version of what women find attractive and women's version differ in this regard. If you ask the average guy which dude in a lineup has the best body, he'll invariably pick the one who's got the best athletic body. Lowest body fat percentage, best strength to weight ratio, best power or speed. Guys assume that performance is impressive. They see men's bodies as race cars. Listening to my female buddies talk about dudes in college (I didn't really have a group of girl friends who I was "bro-ey" with until then) was really eye opening. They'd be talking about how cute these portly guys are and I'd be like what the hell, he's a fatty!" They don't want to date a race car necessarily, they like SUVs. Big and convenient. Yeah right. Don't listen to what they say. See which ones the women who are attractive enough to have their pick actually date. Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 There's a difference between honestly telling someone how their height might be a barrier to attracing women and patronising them by implying that their height effectively makes them an infant. Imagine a guy telling an overweight woman that going out with her might activate the dietician side of his personality. That'd be fine if the overweight woman was on here asking for honest opinions. Tho of course ChocolateRain wasn't making a deliberately hurtful comment anyway, no matter how much fault you want to search for. Really it sounds like you're the one offended. OP said he wasn't. Why are you fighting this battle for someone who didn't ask for and presumably doesn't need your help? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
hasaquestion Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Yeah right. Don't listen to what they say. See which ones the women who are attractive enough to have their pick actually date. Hah. Take it from someone in the "race car" (5'10" 160#) class, plenty of women would pass me up for a dude who has twice my BF%, with little defined muscle, who can barely squat, can't run, can't jump, can't climb, can't even bench their body weight, etc. Plenty of women like dad bods. As for "women who are attractive enough to have their pick", I don't think they are germane to the OP's struggles anyway. Most things are a deal breaker to the most selective people of both genders. Link to post Share on other sites
S_A Posted May 12, 2016 Share Posted May 12, 2016 Hah. Take it from someone in the "race car" (5'10" 160#) class 160 sounds a little light. Desean Jackson is also 5'10" and, if I am not mistaken, is actually bulkier than that. The dude totally runs like a racecar though. plenty of women would pass me up for a dude who has twice my BF%, with little defined muscle, who can barely squat, can't run, can't jump, can't climb, can't even bench their body weight, etc. Plenty of women like dad bods. I was browsing tinder several months ago while single and this hot blondle said she welcomed "dad bods" in her profile. Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 No problem for me Darkhorse - I'm 5'3" and often dated guys smaller than me Nooooooo..... Really? The visual has me perplexed Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Are you referring to penis size? That's what I thought when I saw this thread. Amazingly enough, I dated a "kick stand" years ago. He was waaaay shorter than me. I mean one day I was looking at our military boots at the door and lol, his were so tiny-winy next to mine!!!! But dude had a mmm, big penis. I kid you not. He was also handsome, blonde, blue eyes...and a dog Sometimes surprise do come in small packages...yes, pun intended 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 The point is hardly that any given woman is going to want to be with ANY tall guy. It's that the vast majority of women will NOT want to be with a short one. OP, you will have to accept that about 80-90% of the women you meet will write you off immediately. Whatever the (well meaning) ladies on here will tell you. You'll need to be patient or lucky. Uh, cuz those of us who have given shorter guys a chance had to deal with 'short guy's syndrome'. I don't have time to deal with someone's insecurities...so yes, I'm gonna be quick to diss you. It's not just about looks. Yes Tom Cruise and Marky Mark are celebrities, but they have swagger and take care of their looks, they don't sit around crying about their height. Then, if my pep talk doesn't convince you, then there's many shorter girls out there who would be happy with a guy close to their height. Yes, not all petite women wanna be some tall guy's "spinner". Umm, but yes, I do prefer a taller guy. I was just reminiscing how I step on my tippy toes to reach up to kiss my current guy..I missed doing that with my 6 yr guy Link to post Share on other sites
fands Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Are you referring to penis size? I like it--no beating around your bush, you just jump right on the nub of the matter. Link to post Share on other sites
SammySammy Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 That's what I thought when I saw this thread. Amazingly enough, I dated a "kick stand" years ago. He was waaaay shorter than me. I mean one day I was looking at our military boots at the door and lol, his were so tiny-winy next to mine!!!! But dude had a mmm, big penis. I kid you not. He was also handsome, blonde, blue eyes...and a dog Sometimes surprise do come in small packages...yes, pun intended Which is why I think guys spend too much time and energy worrying about things they can't control. It's not like they can make themselves taller. Can't make your penis bigger. Can't really do anything about male pattern baldness. Why not just like the ones that like you and not worry about the rest? The only woman I'm concerned about romantically is the one willing to coax orgasms out of my body. Her opinion matters. The rest ... don't matter. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Blockyrain Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 (edited) From my personal experience, yes, height and physique size do make a difference (unfortunately, depending on how you see it) in terms of attraction. Maybe, ask yourself these two main things: (1) What are you looking for? (2) What can you offer in return (not money, although for some people, that's is the case)? A polite way of saying this is - what do you believe are your attractive qualities? -------------------------------------------------------- If you can figure out roughly these two things, it may help in increasing the chances of finding someone that's compatible. Speaking as someone with issues/flaws, I would have to find ways to compete with other people and show the side that may be attractive. But, these days, at my age, I'm slowly given up the whole courting/dating thing. How much of yourself are you willing to work on? And do you do it for yourself or do it just to meet someone? Either can work, depending on the person you are. Also, I find it interesting that culturally (in general), we have somewhat idealised physical preferences for either genders. For example, a skinny and short male can be considered unattractive (as an initial observable impression), like some have pointed out - women feel like they're protecting them. I wonder, would it be possible to switch that around? And would that make a difference in the mindset? But, that's a whole other discussion. Edited May 13, 2016 by Blockyrain Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted May 13, 2016 Share Posted May 13, 2016 Gloris25 post #40, Nooooooo..... Really? The visual has me perplexed Well, it's true. And I'll tell you something else - when one of them dropped his pants I thought I was talking to an elephant........ so don't believe all the rubbish you hear about small men being "small"... Link to post Share on other sites
redbaron007 Posted May 14, 2016 Share Posted May 14, 2016 (edited) I'm a 21 year old male who's about 5 ft 3 and 100 pounds. So yeah, I just want an honest opinion, would you date a guy this small? I won't get too offended or anything. I workout and it's not like i'm starving myself, i'm just lean. And I think me being pretty short just makes me look even skinnier. There's definitely guys pound-for-pound that are skinnier than I am. Short answer: No, it does not matter, or atleast, not as much as you think it does. Long answer: At 21, you are understandably conscious about being short, lean, skinny,...and may feel that these somehow put you in a lower "league" when it comes to women. In fact I spent my entire 20's and early 30's convinced these physical attributes (in addition to being an immigrant and minority) put me well out-of-league with the type of women I found attractive, though I had a lot of other abilities like top-tier degrees, great job, great hobbies, healthy emotional and physical lifestyle... Now in my 40's, I'm single again and only now realize how little these physical attributes matter when it comes to attraction, and how much more other subtler factors matter. Factors like being comfortable in your own skin irrespective of your physical attributes, expressing genuine interest (with no expectations of outcomes), paying bold compliments to women you find attractive, measured tone of voice, playful nature serve as attraction triggers that are far more powerful than women themselves may admit on forums like these. Your weight, height, age, race (and whatever else) do count, but far less than what you may think. If you have an introspective nature and want to delve deeper, check out David Deida's Way of the Superior Man (there is a free audio/video of the entire book on YouTube), and for the female perspective, read Karen Brody's "Open Her...". Otherwise, just chill, enjoy your 20's, eat healthy, talk and flirt with every girl you find attractive, with a smile on your face and without worrying about the outcome, and you'll end up just fine! Edited May 14, 2016 by redbaron007 1 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I honestly don't date short men, but a short cute guy who hit on me at work and I turned down is dating this gorgeous beautiful girl now... I see their pics on facebook and I am happy for him. They look incredibly happy too. What I am trying to say is for some people height is important, for others it's not. Just like any other attribute. Link to post Share on other sites
guitardude31 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 It does make a difference. Studies show women are just as vain, if not more so when it comes to appearance. Of course there is a lid for every pot, but it does make your already bad odds (as all men have) that much harder. The good news is, if you get the foot in the door, females perception of your appearance will be altered a bit by your personality. Unfortunately, it's just difficult to get to that point because generally men have to do the pursuing and compete in a lottery for female attention and affection, as women tend to be the gate keepers and choosers. Most of them really don't understand the male experience honestly, as it's not really addressed in the same volume or in a serious and empathetic way in the culture, unfortunately. A lesbian feminist actually lived as a man for 18 months, and by the end of it had some personal revelations about gender, especially in the arguably most important realm, romance, sex, partnership, relationships etc. That women basically had all the power and she felt deep sympathy for the average joe. The odds are stacked against guys in basically every way, and it's a complete crapshoot, even for more alpha type males. It's a numbers game, ask enough women, and eventually you land one, but the odds of them being someone who is compatible, single, and attractive are statistically horrible. Good luck to ya sir . Here is the video. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Its interesting how men's version of what women find attractive and women's version differ in this regard. If you ask the average guy which dude in a lineup has the best body, he'll invariably pick the one who's got the best athletic body. Lowest body fat percentage, best strength to weight ratio, best power or speed. Guys assume that performance is impressive. They see men's bodies as race cars. Listening to my female buddies talk about dudes in college (I didn't really have a group of girl friends who I was "bro-ey" with until then) was really eye opening. They'd be talking about how cute these portly guys are and I'd be like what the hell, he's a fatty!" They don't want to date a race car necessarily, they like SUVs. Big and convenient. None of my girl friends were into athletic or chunky. We all liked pretty faces and long hair and guys more on the lean side, but body really wasn't our priority. Link to post Share on other sites
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