I went on a date and the search..

[elaine567]

Why not go to a bar / cinema / on holiday by yourself? PLENTY of people do it, for the exact same reasons as you would.

 

Za Dater has already addressed this previously, he thinks by going out in the world alone, he will be looked upon as a "loser".

[PrettyEmily77]

Za Dater has already addressed this previously, he thinks by going out in the world alone, he will be looked upon as a "loser".

 

Ah ok, thanks.

 

Well, I guess at this point a change of strategy couldn't really hurt.

[ZA Dater]

You won't be able to make yourself desirable anywhere if you don't believe it yourself first.

 

People who try to give you suggestions do so because they want to see you succeed, not because they want to highlight your shortcomings.

 

I seriously think you should consider leaving OLD altogether until you get your day-to-day life in order. Even if you secure more dates, this won't make the loneliness go away + 7 years is too long an investment for too little a return - time to change tactics.

 

You say you can't connect with anyone - improving your looks won't help, if that's the case.

 

You can't go back but you can't write off your life either - make small changes now by starting to notice the people around. Do you have family members you can relate or talk to? Do you have someone you can confide in?

 

The feeling of loneliness might be over-powering but it's not a life sentence (and as medic, I don't say this lightly).

 

Why not go to a bar / cinema / on holiday by yourself? PLENTY of people do it, for the exact same reasons as you would.

 

I have left the toxic world of OLD, just on Tinder now and nothing else. I dunno I think I am just paying the price for not doing things differently when the foundation of my life was being built. I am paying for those mistakes now.

 

I don't know how to kiss anyone never mind do anything else, people really are not accepting of inexperience, they smell it a mile away and when they do combined with no confidence, well its tickets really from that point onwards.

 

Changing tactics, should I try and find something more physical, how I would do that I have no idea at all. My thinking is one needs superb levels of charm and bare attraction to get there. I don't seem to be able to find either of those two qualities.

 

Believe me I have eaten dinners on my own often enough, been to movies often enough to know its a really horrible feeling, one I wouldn't wish on anyone.

 

I don't really have anyone I can confide in, I thought I did but he proceeded to try and make me someone I am not, tried to set me up with people I had nothing in common with and it was just very uncomfortable for me and my level of self worth hit desperately low levels. I still feel like a pity project. He and I don't discuss dating anymore. He tells me positive things but the result isn't ever positive.

 

Its extremely hard to explain to people how this eats away at me, perhaps the people here are the only ones who can understand but the most people who have enjoyed some measure of success and by that I mean had sex before 32 and had a few dates, really don't understand what this feels like.

 

Changes are good but where does one start, I am told I am negative, I try be positive, I am told I am still negative, its tough to find genuine positivity when each day its rubbed in my face I am 32yo dateless virgin. Each day I head about so and so wife, so and so girlfriend.

 

The truth is my entire life I believed a lie, a lie that went along the lines of "get your studying done and then you can start dating and its always good to be a nice guy, you will be a real catch for ladies".

 

Reality. Its nothing like the lie.

[DreamBigg]

Going to respectfully decline on submitting any further suggestions or experienced based tactics, offering you positivity by pointing out the things you can be even somewhat proud of ...and step by step instructions for you to do something... Anything... With yourself.. that would give us a sign to continue.

 

I do not think that you're troling or doing this for the attention like some others have suggested. I can understand why some get that impression. Your last reply here contained statements and declarations that you have vehemently spoke out against or flat out refused to acknowledge in prior threads when others bring them up.

 

The lack of specificity as far as what you actually want from this forum, is just your way of ensuring there is no structure or measurable outcome

we can work towards that will enlighten you. You ask for feedback and opinions, and other things to try ... Yet have Only done what you wanted to do for the entire 32 years of your life.

 

You ask for brutal honesty from women and people here... However you refuse to accept other people's truths and impressions even in the slightest. If a girl tells you she did t want to have a relationship with you because she's not feeling the intimacy shed hoped, yet offers you a silver lining in saying "I'm sure you'll find a gf in no time".....You turn that info "I'm unlike able and can never change, women are dull and don't know any general knowledge.

[DreamBigg]

I have left the toxic world of OLD, just on Tinder now and nothing else. I dunno I think I am just paying the price for not doing things differently when the foundation of my life was being built. I am paying for those mistakes now.

 

 

Changes are good but where does one start, I am told I am negative, I try be positive, I am told I am still negative, its tough to find genuine positivity when each day its rubbed in my face I am 32yo dateless virgin. Each day I head about so and so wife, so and so girlfriend.

 

The truth is my entire life I believed a lie, a lie that went along the lines of "get your studying done and then you can start dating and its alwa

Reality. Its nothing like the lie.

 

 

I don't know if someone needs to tattoo it on your face but "TINDER IS ONE OF Hundredssassss of options you can try and explore!! Jeez , expand

Your horizons. A toddler can manage multiple apps on an iPad. You can manage as well.

 

Changes are good!!??!? You spend all your time telling us why you won't change for anyone no matter what.

You ask where to start? - start with going to a doctor first and fire off. It's the only Thing that will do anything.

 

You try to be positive? Is it Opposite Day? Because positive by your definition doesn't mean what you think it

Does.

 

You Beg women and readers for brutal honesty....the only person rubbing things in your face is

Yourself. You've had more help and chances than most

People have in a lifetime

[ZA Dater]

Going to respectfully decline on submitting any further suggestions or experienced based tactics, offering you positivity by pointing out the things you can be even somewhat proud of ...and step by step instructions for you to do something... Anything... With yourself.. that would give us a sign to continue.

 

I do not think that you're troling or doing this for the attention like some others have suggested. I can understand why some get that impression. Your last reply here contained statements and declarations that you have vehemently spoke out against or flat out refused to acknowledge in prior threads when others bring them up.

 

The lack of specificity as far as what you actually want from this forum, is just your way of ensuring there is no structure or measurable outcome

we can work towards that will enlighten you. You ask for feedback and opinions, and other things to try ... Yet have Only done what you wanted to do for the entire 32 years of your life.

 

You ask for brutal honesty from women and people here... However you refuse to accept other people's truths and impressions even in the slightest. If a girl tells you she did t want to have a relationship with you because she's not feeling the intimacy shed hoped, yet offers you a silver lining in saying "I'm sure you'll find a gf in no time".....You turn that info "I'm unlike able and can never change, women are dull and don't know any general knowledge.

 

Because the bold part is patronising BS. Its called placating a person by telling then what you think they want to hear.

[DreamBigg]

ZA- You've started/created 59 threads on this forum all on your own. Over the course of years.

 

Pages and pages of replies. Pages of strangers who selflessly try and give you a confidence boost and go out of their way to try and help you become happier.

 

And you thank them... By going on 1 date in 2.5 years.... Using the same, most basic, least personal dating app there is with Tinder.... Make it a constant uphill battle just to get the most common sense points across....There is 0 updates and history of you detailing the places you tried going, the rejections you've gotten, the literal words that you say... The words that the girl replies to you with... HER words btw.. Not what you think she's dating... You're not a mind reader.

 

Nope... Instead ... You log on with you self loathing word of the day and excercise your hopelessness with a few hours of b.s.

 

Best of luck. Closing out here

[ZA Dater]

I don't know if someone needs to tattoo it on your face but "TINDER IS ONE OF Hundredssassss of options you can try and explore!! Jeez , expand

Your horizons. A toddler can manage multiple apps on an iPad. You can manage as well.

 

Changes are good!!??!? You spend all your time telling us why you won't change for anyone no matter what.

You ask where to start? - start with going to a doctor first and fire off. It's the only Thing that will do anything.

 

You try to be positive? Is it Opposite Day? Because positive by your definition doesn't mean what you think it

Does.

 

You Beg women and readers for brutal honesty....the only person rubbing things in your face is

Yourself. You've had more help and chances than most

People have in a lifetime

 

Change to what? To what people want, if I could find out what people want I would change to that its pretty simple really but nobody has enough backbone to actually say what they want, instead these wishy washy concepts get trotted out time after time and the lamest most pathetic excuses are used to reject people.

 

I have been on multiple apps for year and you know what, here, now in SA the vast majority on those apps are there for a solid reason, none are particularly attractive in most shapes or form, I spent an hour going through Okcupid profiles in SA and I spent another hour looking in the North America, you cannot lecture me because frankly in terms of physical looks there is no comparison. In fact here you just find the same people on multiple platforms for years on end, people like me for example, except I am slim and athletic.

 

Ask yourself this an I mean really think about it. Why is it this forum is populated with many guys like me but almost no females like me? Ask yourself, its very simple because its females who get to do the choosing, unless the guy is super good looking or super wealthy then he has the power of choice, for the most part, us guys stand around like clown hoping someone will find us impressive. Why do guys have to approach? Logically the entire "game" makes no sense at all.

 

Why is it guys must look stupid approaching someone who isn't single. Why is it ladies cant approach and show interest? Why is it guys must sit at a date and sell themselves like some used car salesman, which further reinforces my point above. I had to sit for an hours trying to convince this lady I was a nice guy, did she sell herself, NOT ONCE, did she tell me anything about herself which would impress me"; NOT ONCE. This patter has repeated itself on every single coffee date I have been on.

 

Ladies don't sell themselves at all, perhaps if they did fewer would be single but then again as has been rehashed here countless times its rare for ladies to get to 30-40 without having had a bf. Its common for guys.

 

You tell me to change, again I ask, to what? To this common, beer drinking, sport loving, loud speaking, macho, super confident person? Why?

 

I have never gone out to use people but perhaps I must, perhaps I must tell BS like most of the players I know, perhaps the key is use manipulation to get what you want, or perhaps when that fails try and buy what you want.

 

It seems to me the female population are only impressed by two things

: good looks

: money

 

The hierarchy is very clearly established here, I have yet to met guys with either of the above who have never had a date by 30.

 

I go out be the best person I can but hit my head against the wall time after time because I don't seem to have any universally attractive qualities? Who determines what is attractive, the media? Countless magazines which bang on about sexual prowess "this is what your ideal man should be and do". How has the world gone so wrong that traits such as honesty and the ability to care are rendered irrelevant by nonsense such as sexual prowess and so called "manly" characteristics?

 

Everyone here is right on one thing, I refuse to conform to a conformist world full of crowd mentality. If I achieve nothing in life at least I can say I was my own person, sure I paid the price for it by being alone.

 

And there come the rub, dare to be different and you will find the world a very lonely place, dare to actually think and you will find a lot of blank faces in front of you.

 

Actually I really couldn't care anymore, its probably a good thing I don't have a gf because you know what, the fantasy is probably miles better than the reality.

 

Thank you for reading.

[SammySammy]

[PrettyEmily77]

I have left the toxic world of OLD, just on Tinder now and nothing else. I dunno I think I am just paying the price for not doing things differently when the foundation of my life was being built. I am paying for those mistakes now.

 

I don't know how to kiss anyone never mind do anything else, people really are not accepting of inexperience, they smell it a mile away and when they do combined with no confidence, well its tickets really from that point onwards.

 

Changing tactics, should I try and find something more physical, how I would do that I have no idea at all. My thinking is one needs superb levels of charm and bare attraction to get there. I don't seem to be able to find either of those two qualities.

 

Believe me I have eaten dinners on my own often enough, been to movies often enough to know its a really horrible feeling, one I wouldn't wish on anyone.

 

I don't really have anyone I can confide in, I thought I did but he proceeded to try and make me someone I am not, tried to set me up with people I had nothing in common with and it was just very uncomfortable for me and my level of self worth hit desperately low levels. I still feel like a pity project. He and I don't discuss dating anymore. He tells me positive things but the result isn't ever positive.

 

Its extremely hard to explain to people how this eats away at me, perhaps the people here are the only ones who can understand but the most people who have enjoyed some measure of success and by that I mean had sex before 32 and had a few dates, really don't understand what this feels like.

 

Changes are good but where does one start, I am told I am negative, I try be positive, I am told I am still negative, its tough to find genuine positivity when each day its rubbed in my face I am 32yo dateless virgin. Each day I head about so and so wife, so and so girlfriend.

 

The truth is my entire life I believed a lie, a lie that went along the lines of "get your studying done and then you can start dating and its always good to be a nice guy, you will be a real catch for ladies".

 

Reality. Its nothing like the lie.

 

Look man, nothing in any of the posts I've read suggests that you're taking any kind of responsibility or action for the situation you are currently in. I mean nothing at all. All I can see is layers upon layers of excuses, blaming the 'past', and a complete and total resistance to owning your life as it is.

 

Don't bother trying to make yourself look more physically attractive if you're not willing to change your attitude and outlook - that's what most people care about in a long-term romantic partner, unless you are extremely shallow and driven by looks alone which, past a certain age, is frankly ridiculous and utterly immature anyway (and FWY, Tinder is OLD).

 

I can tell you that some people have it much harder than you do, who have lost something a lot take for granted: their health. I know people at death's door (literally) who still know how to appreciate life and are grateful for what they have.

 

No doubt loneliness sucks, no doubt not having kissed anyone at 32 sucks but I'm sorry to tell you that this will be the case forever more if you don't get your act together. People are actually totally accepting of inexperience - what most people don't like is a defeatist, I'm doomed kind of attitude.

 

We here can offer to lend an ear but it's up to you to take charge of your life. You've been given a ton of suggestions that you deem to all be unsuitable - either make things happen your own way and stop complaining or review those suggestions with fresh eyes and an open mind.

[ZA Dater]

ZA- You've started/created 59 threads on this forum all on your own. Over the course of years.

 

Pages and pages of replies. Pages of strangers who selflessly try and give you a confidence boost and go out of their way to try and help you become happier.

 

And you thank them... By going on 1 date in 2.5 years.... Using the same, most basic, least personal dating app there is with Tinder.... Make it a constant uphill battle just to get the most common sense points across....There is 0 updates and history of you detailing the places you tried going, the rejections you've gotten, the literal words that you say... The words that the girl replies to you with... HER words btw.. Not what you think she's dating... You're not a mind reader.

 

Nope... Instead ... You log on with you self loathing word of the day and excercise your hopelessness with a few hours of b.s.

 

Best of luck. Closing out here

 

There are none because none of these females have any backbone whatsoever, its easier to just ignore, delete and block than to actually say why.

 

I chased an ideal for 2.5 years, one I still believe in but increasingly don't see much point to because objectively its something that's beyond my reach.

 

Dating Apps

: Dating Buzz

: OK cupid

: Zoosk

: Match

: Tinder

 

How many more would satisfy you that I have tried OLD to death? Places, where should I go, book shops, shops, strange I go to those places and NEVER EVER do I see people trying to chat up ladies. Strange.

 

You know what this is a futile discussion, I am wrong and everyone else here is right, may you all have lots of sex and great dating relationships.

 

Confidence boost?

[ZA Dater]

Look man, nothing in any of the posts I've read suggests that you're taking any kind of responsibility or action for the situation you are currently in. I mean nothing at all. All I can see is layers upon layers of excuses, blaming the 'past', and a complete and total resistance to owning your life as it is.

 

Don't bother trying to make yourself look more physically attractive if you're not willing to change your attitude and outlook - that's what most people care about in a long-term romantic partner, unless you are extremely shallow and driven by looks alone which, past a certain age, is frankly ridiculous and utterly immature anyway (and FWY, Tinder is OLD).

 

I can tell you that some people have it much harder than you do, who have lost something a lot take for granted: their health. I know people at death's door (literally) who still know how to appreciate life and are grateful for what they have.

 

No doubt loneliness sucks, no doubt not having kissed anyone at 32 sucks but I'm sorry to tell you that this will be the case forever more if you don't get your act together. People are actually totally accepting of inexperience - what most people don't like is a defeatist, I'm doomed kind of attitude.

 

We here can offer to lend an ear but it's up to you to take charge of your life. You've been given a ton of suggestions that you deem to all be unsuitable - either make things happen your own way and stop complaining or review those suggestions with fresh eyes and an open mind.

 

Its fine my mind is made up I am going to live life my way irrespective of what people think or what they like.

 

You tell me how to not be defeatist when all you have ever tasted is defeat? If you can answer that question I will try approach someone random in the street.

 

Even dates which went well ended in defeat. People I thought had a chance with, again defeat.

[DreamBigg]

Change to what? To what people want, if I could find out what people want I would change to that its pretty simple really but nobody has enough backbone to actually say what they want, instead these wishy washy concepts get trotted out time after time and the lamest most pathetic excuses are used to reject people.

 

I have been on multiple apps for year and you know what, here, now in SA the vast majority on those apps are there for a solid reason, none are particularly attractive in most shapes or form, I spent an hour going through Okcupid profiles in SA and I spent another hour looking in the North America, you cannot lecture me because frankly in terms of physical looks there is no comparison. In fact here you just find the same people on multiple platforms for years on end, people like me for example, except I am slim and athletic.

 

Ask yourself this an I mean really think about it. Why is it this forum is populated with many guys like me but almost no females like me? Ask yourself, its very simple because its females who get to do the choosing, unless the guy is super good looking or super wealthy then he has the power of choice, for the most part, us guys stand around like clown hoping someone will find us impressive. Why do guys have to approach? Logically the entire "game" makes no sense at all.

 

Why is it guys must look stupid approaching someone who isn't single. Why is it ladies cant approach and show interest? Why is it guys must sit at a date and sell themselves like some used car salesman, which further reinforces my point above. I had to sit for an hours trying to convince this lady I was a nice guy, did she sell herself, NOT ONCE, did she tell me anything about herself which would impress me"; NOT ONCE. This patter has repeated itself on every single coffee date I have been on.

 

Ladies don't sell themselves at all, perhaps if they did fewer would be single but then again as has been rehashed here countless times its rare for ladies to get to 30-40 without having had a bf. Its common for guys.

 

You tell me to change, again I ask, to what? To this common, beer drinking, sport loving, loud speaking, macho, super confident person? Why?

 

I have never gone out to use people but perhaps I must, perhaps I must tell BS like most of the players I know, perhaps the key is use manipulation to get what you want, or perhaps when that fails try and buy what you want.

 

It seems to me the female population are only impressed by two things

: good looks

: money

 

The hierarchy is very clearly established here, I have yet to met guys with either of the above who have never had a date by 30.

 

I go out be the best person I can but hit my head against the wall time after time because I don't seem to have any universally attractive qualities? Who determines what is attractive, the media? Countless magazines which bang on about sexual prowess "this is what your ideal man should be and do". How has the world gone so wrong that traits such as honesty and the ability to care are rendered irrelevant by nonsense such as sexual prowess and so called "manly" characteristics?

 

Everyone here is right on one thing, I refuse to conform to a conformist world full of crowd mentality. If I achieve nothing in life at least I can say I was my own person, sure I paid the price for it by being alone.

 

And there come the rub, dare to be different and you will find the world a very lonely place, dare to actually think and you will find a lot of blank faces in front of you.

 

Actually I really couldn't care anymore, its probably a good thing I don't have a gf because you know what, the fantasy is probably miles better than the reality.

 

Thank you for reading.

 

 

You're wrong about legitimately every single thing you present and want others to look at. We aren't the ones who haven't kissed a girl or done anything with a member of the opposite sex... You are. You have done it your way for 32 years and it's gotten you no where. There's nothing for you to say or try to get us to understand or sympathize with.

 

If I were in your shoes I would suck up the ego and pride and blindly trust/try every single one of the suggestions and pieces of advice, techniques, etc that you have at your disposal here.

 

Nothing you're gonna say is going to enlighten anyone here. We already know it probably sucks a big one to wake up and be you every day. You've beaten that into submission 25 threads ago. If someone here said "walk into a coffee shop, and approach the first adult woman you see that's sitting alone with an empty seat near her... Then walk over and ask "Hey how are you.. I'm sry to bother, but is this seat taken?" - don't argue or reply with anything other than "I'll give it a try tomorrow on my lunch break"

 

Then tomorrow night , come on and explain what excatly happened. "She said no and I left". "She had headphones in but nodded... After she took her ear buds out for a moment I asked her what she was listening to...."

 

That is actually feedback and real world living.

 

You think it's embarrassing to be a guy who takes A shot to go talk to a female?

 

The other guys in the place are the ones who wil feel like losers. Stepping into the ring gets you immediate respect. Even if you get knocked out in 10 seconds. You did more than anyone else at the coffee shop did.

 

If you can't resist giving Any reply other than "ok... Nothing to lose" then you are highlighting your psychological disability.

 

You've called yourself a hideous loser who no one likes. For

Once I'm allowing you to be that loser and just do that you're told like a child would be taught.

[DreamBigg]

Its fine my mind is made up I am going to live life my way irrespective of what people think or what they like.

 

 

 

You tell me how to not be defeatist when all you have ever tasted is defeat? If you can answer that question I will try approach someone random in the street.

 

Even dates which went well ended in defeat. People I thought had a chance with, again defeat.

 

YOU CANT BARGAIN WITH SOMEOME OFFERING U HELP BY FORCING THEM DO DO SOMETHIMG FOR YOU IN ORDER FOR YOU TO DO SOMETNING FOR YOURSELF.!!

 

I can't believe you just said that. This is YOUR thread!! You came her asking for help and feedback. Now people have to jump through hoops in order for you to do anything other than complain and cry about your miserable existence. I've never seen anything like this before.

[scorpiogirl]

People in South Africa don't use dating apps or websites as much as in other countries. This is not a good way to meet people for dating or relationships.

 

Dont worry, I'm not going to make any suggestions for you. I've learned my lesson with that.

This is more for other posters who are suggesting trying other apps or sites. People in SA are big on socialising, sporting events, barbecues, dinners, etc. So I guess online dating hadn't really taken off there. Almost all my friends who are married have been introduced by mutual acquaintances.

[PrettyEmily77]

People in South Africa don't use dating apps or websites as much as in other countries. This is not a good way to meet people for dating or relationships.

 

Dont worry, I'm not going to make any suggestions for you. I've learned my lesson with that.

This is more for other posters who are suggesting trying other apps or sites. People in SA are big on socialising, sporting events, barbecues, dinners, etc. So I guess online dating hadn't really taken off there. Almost all my friends who are married have been introduced by mutual acquaintances.

 

OP will tell you he has no friends or a social life because of the past and the lies and the lack of feedback and the defeats and that he won't change for anyone. There OP, I saved you the trouble of replying back.

 

There are no defeats, man. Put it all down to experiences you can learn from; if you accept that you have anything to learn, that is.

[SammySammy]

In life. we tend to reap what we sow.

 

Persistent attitudes and behaviors in a positive direction generally lead to positive results.

 

Most of us meander through life. Doing just enough to get by. Not rocking the boat. Following the crowd. Keeping up with the Joneses. Leading to a predictably average and mundane existence.

 

Some people work hard at sabotaging themselves. Negative attitudes. Negative beliefs. Negative behaviors. Producing predictably miserable results.

 

Actions speak louder than words. We tend to get what we work for - positively or negatively - not what we say we want.

[scorpiogirl]

OP will tell you he has no friends or a social life because of the past and the lies and the lack of feedback and the defeats and that he won't change for anyone. There OP, I saved you the trouble of replying back.

 

There are no defeats, man. Put it all down to experiences you can learn from; if you accept that you have anything to learn, that is.

 

Well yes, because the local people are unfriendly and the remaining single women are fat and not intellectual in the least.

That's why I didn't directly address him. Been there and done that. I won't waste my time again.

[ZA Dater]

People in South Africa don't use dating apps or websites as much as in other countries. This is not a good way to meet people for dating or relationships.

 

Dont worry, I'm not going to make any suggestions for you. I've learned my lesson with that.

This is more for other posters who are suggesting trying other apps or sites. People in SA are big on socialising, sporting events, barbecues, dinners, etc. So I guess online dating hadn't really taken off there. Almost all my friends who are married have been introduced by mutual acquaintances.

 

Big like to this. Thanks you and I not trying to be funny I am being sincere. Finally someone has got across the point I have been trying to make!

[ZA Dater]

OP will tell you he has no friends or a social life because of the past and the lies and the lack of feedback and the defeats and that he won't change for anyone. There OP, I saved you the trouble of replying back.

 

There are no defeats, man. Put it all down to experiences you can learn from; if you accept that you have anything to learn, that is.

 

How do you learn from "I am sure you will find a gf soon?" How do you learn from being blocked and ignored?

[ZA Dater]

In life. we tend to reap what we sow.

 

Persistent attitudes and behaviors in a positive direction generally lead to positive results.

 

Most of us meander through life. Doing just enough to get by. Not rocking the boat. Following the crowd. Keeping up with the Joneses. Leading to a predictably average and mundane existence.

 

Some people work hard at sabotaging themselves. Negative attitudes. Negative beliefs. Negative behaviors. Producing predictably miserable results.

 

Actions speak louder than words. We tend to get what we work for - positively or negatively - not what we say we want.

 

You are totally right in each and every thing you say. Except the bold part.

[SammySammy]

You are totally right in each and every thing you say. Except the bold part.

 

That part is true too. We just have to do the right work until we get the result we want.

 

Can't do the wrong thing or give up early.

[ZA Dater]

That part is true too. We just have to do the right work until we get the result we want.

 

Can't do the wrong thing or give up early.

 

Or simply just accept what is and move on. Forgiving is easy, accepting an undesirable outcome is much less so.

[PrettyEmily77]

How do you learn from "I am sure you will find a gf soon?" How do you learn from being blocked and ignored?

 

You're going round in circles, dude.

 

 

This is what I got from the posts I have read (admittedly, I've not read them all):

 

 

1.You have no social life due to not having gone out and met people in your 20s and therefore, you can't ever build up a new social life now because...Well, because.

 

 

2. You need detailed feedback after a date so you know what to do on your next date, regardless of the fact that the next date will be with a different person who will likely expect different things.

 

 

3. You have persisted in using OLD as your only way of finding a romantic partner for the past 7 years with next to no results.

 

 

4. You ask people for advice, which you get plenty of but won't take, you are determined to do it your way regardless, but you still want to complain that life has dealt you a rough hand.

 

 

It's probably time you acted you age, ZA Dater.

[Haydn]

Mate, you need to tear up your rule book.

 

You`ve got some great advice here but you seem happy to dismiss it all and in fact seem quite happy to try to prove it all wrong. If this is how you date then it`s not very attractive.

 

If you have this attitude then nothing will change.

 

Take some of the advice here!