Author Louisesarah Posted April 20, 2016 Author Share Posted April 20, 2016 From what I've read you seem to seek your happiness and self worth from the attention you get from men. This isn't healthy. You have to be happy alone before you can find happiness (true happiness) with someone else. A bf is supposed to "add" happiness to your life not be the only thing you have going on Every time I want to contact mm I think to myself "there's no point he's dead he can't reply". It may sound extreme and obviously I don't want anything to happen to him really but it's how I'm getting over it and we've been NC since January (he broke once but that's it me a few times but no conversation since January). It is hard but you need to spend time with your friends. I'm not looking for another relationship and probably won't until next year. I may meet someone in the mean time I may not but either way I'm happy I think my self esteem is shot to pieces. When someone as attractive as him showed interest in me I felt worth something and now that's gone I feel empty as such. I've never contacted him which I'm proud of. I've never been tempted because I know I can't and it would never feel like it did again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted May 17, 2016 Author Share Posted May 17, 2016 Not sure why I'm posting tbh. The last few weeks after obsessing over a creep for months I've started seeing someone lovely(only very early days)but I'm actually happy and it's weird. All the advice people gave makes sense now,wasted so much time and energy on someone who was a looser. I've deleted and blocked the guy and his family on everything possible. Me and this guy have been spending a lot of time together. Cinema,drinks and last night I met his friends and when he introduced me he looked proud to say this is Louise. No sneaky texts,no creeping around just open and honest. It was so nice. Not saying he is the "one" but he shows me respect and enjoys just being with me. 16 Link to post Share on other sites
lemondrop21 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Not sure why I'm posting tbh. The last few weeks after obsessing over a creep for months I've started seeing someone lovely(only very early days)but I'm actually happy and it's weird. All the advice people gave makes sense now,wasted so much time and energy on someone who was a looser. I've deleted and blocked the guy and his family on everything possible. Me and this guy have been spending a lot of time together. Cinema,drinks and last night I met his friends and when he introduced me he looked proud to say this is Louise. No sneaky texts,no creeping around just open and honest. It was so nice. Not saying he is the "one" but he shows me respect and enjoys just being with me. This made actually tear up, especially the highlighted portion. I've done just a little bit of dating since MM and it is really nice, isn't it? We all deserve this, really, we do. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Joie Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 That is wonderful news! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I wish you nothing but the best in your new relationship...and it does feel good doesn't it? Not being somebody's dirty secret, being introduced to friends, being seen out in public (you can hold hands if you want to, kiss, make-out ), your conscience not weighing you down because you're with a person who belongs to somebody else. It feels good being with a single man even if the relationship is new, just the mere fact that you don't have to lie, cheat or deceive anymore, takes an enormous weight off of your shoulders. Go Girl... 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dancewithme Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 OP, I'm happy for you. You really went through the wringer with your previous situation, and I'm glad you have blocked that dysfunctional family, and moved on. I'm glad you are enjoying the respect you deserve, from a man who is proud to be with you, and be seen with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Ms. Faust Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 I hope it works out for you, OP, or at the very least open the door to positive relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
oceansaway Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 So great for you! I'm doing the same. It's early but feels good! I don't want to be used by MM anymore. Good luck to you Link to post Share on other sites
jenkins95 Posted May 17, 2016 Share Posted May 17, 2016 Great news louisesarah! Wishing you happiness as you are moving forward. Keep us posted on developments! Exciting stuff Link to post Share on other sites
Author Louisesarah Posted July 9, 2016 Author Share Posted July 9, 2016 Haven't posted here for a while. Since I last posted I've found a nice boyfriend,not sure it's love but we are having a nice time. Yesterday bump into "him" he was walking up the side street. I turn away and carry on walking then stupidly turn around and he had turned around..why did I turn around. Today I'm walking to see my grandmother and he was getting out of his car,luckily I had my umbrella up as it was raining so he couldn't see my face. Hate when I see him,brings it back. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 Good on you for getting a BF. Forget the wobble and get back to where you were. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
rumblefish12 Posted July 9, 2016 Share Posted July 9, 2016 Hate when I see him,brings it back. I agree with you. Just seeing XAP drive by makes my heart jump. Pure anxiety. I don't know why. I don't want to be with her. I don't want to talk to her ... much. There was just so much emotion tied up with her and for so long. Also all the anxiety of worrying about discovery. That all comes flooding back. I understand, but this will pass. i think we will get better at that until there is complete indifference whenever you encounter them. Just time. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
BenchCoach Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 Out of curiosity, will you ever tell this "boyfriend" that you are a former OW and still run into the OM, from time to time? Link to post Share on other sites
loveisanaction Posted July 10, 2016 Share Posted July 10, 2016 Out of curiosity, will you ever tell this "boyfriend" that you are a former OW and still run into the OM, from time to time? Not to answer her question for her but (JMHO) i don't think that there is any need for her to tell her current boyfriend about her relationship with her ex married man. She wasn't dating her boyfriend and her ex-mm at the same time. Being the other woman is not like having a criminal record. You don't have to tell potential boyfriends/girlfriends. Unless the OP intends to go back to being her ex-mm's other woman there is no reason for her to tell her current boyfriend anything. That part of her life is in her past now. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
13Hearts Posted July 11, 2016 Share Posted July 11, 2016 I think if I were to see or run into xMM, I would start shaking. And then I would start throwing rocks at him. Link to post Share on other sites
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