Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 There are ways around this without your giving him keys. Is the traffic really that much worse if he were to wait 10-15 to leave his house? Traffic is a big issue in this city because it's an Island. He lives on the Island, I live off the Island. The bridge leading to my home has a 1 hour wait on regular basis. Better leave before it gets busy or wait after. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 But the guy has to wait out in the cold w/no running engine+heater! (I'm just making the case for the guy not to freeze his balls off. I assume it gets pretty cold in Montreal. ) well... if his balls are freezing, maybe he should grow a pair and say something about it, no? As I see it, Gaeta could ask her partner if he minds waiting for her on Wednesdays. If he says no, well, then there's no problem, is there? If he says it's a bit uncomfortable because of the cold, then they can explore some options linked to the key. Link to post Share on other sites
BlueIris Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I am curious to know after how long dating you've given your SO your home keys or maybe you're the type to never give keys? A year or so. About the same time that I'd tell him my PIN for my debit card. Edited to add: ... and when he also gave me his keys and PIN. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I think it was around 7-8 months before I gave him an extra key. He ended up not using it that much, since I moved in with him a few months after that. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Yes this is my idea. He never mentioned anything or even complained about waiting outside. Then don't worry about it! Let him solve the problem. He can sit in his car or drive around or go to a coffee shop or run errands or do whatever while he waits for you to get home. IMO, two months is too soon to be exchanging keys. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I once dated a guy for a mere six weeks, and I cooked dinner for him at his house on like date five. He was getting back from a work trip, so he left me the key under his mat, and when he got home, I was busily cooking away. It felt domestic, and in the moment we laughed about it, but all the same, it felt too soon, like we were play-acting at a closeness we didn't have. I actually didn't cook for him again. Wait - no automatic sex?? That's one of those automatic sex scenarios. well... if his balls are freezing, maybe he should grow a pair and say something about it, no? As I see it, Gaeta could ask her partner if he minds waiting for her on Wednesdays. If he says no, well, then there's no problem, is there? If he says it's a bit uncomfortable because of the cold, then they can explore some options linked to the key. Sounds reasonable. btw I assume he's just being a gentleman not saying anything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 A year or so. About the same time that I'd tell him my PIN for my debit card. Edited to add: ... and when he also gave me his keys and PIN. haha! so we have a new 'mark'. I can already see the number of threads with title: Why new boyfriend not given me his CC pin yet! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Then don't worry about it! Let him solve the problem. He can sit in his car or drive around or go to a coffee shop or run errands or do whatever while he waits for you to get home. IMO, two months is too soon to be exchanging keys. I know that you wanting to give him your key is kind, especially with all this cold but... there is a chance it might freak your guy out. if it ain't broken, don't fix it. Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Sounds reasonable. btw I assume he's just being a gentleman not saying anything. well... she could ask instead of assuming. This way, it'll look like a mutual decision instead of her offering her key out - which may or may not freak a dude out, beginnings are delicate. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 Sounds reasonable. btw I assume he's just being a gentleman not saying anything. Yes he is being a gentleman. Just like he'll eat a dish he doesn't like to be a gentleman and he refuses to tell me what exactly makes him sneeze repeatedly in my home. Link to post Share on other sites
Whoknew30 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I was teen when I started dating my H & his dad gave me the key to their house after about 2 months. He had no idea that I had a key until he came home one day & I was in his laying in his bed waiting for him. Lol, he never did mind the surprise of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 and he refuses to tell me what exactly makes him sneeze repeatedly in my home. The dog.... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Shining One Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Gaeta, maybe a smart lock is the right solution for you. You don't need anything as elaborate as mine, just something for your front door. It's a few hundred (at most). Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 The dog.... Absolutely, but he's too kind to tell me because other than vacuuming more often there isn't much I can do so why make me feel bad about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Absolutely, but he's too kind to tell me because other than vacuuming more often there isn't much I can do so why make me feel bad about it. Well except for going to his place instead? My sister's boyfriend is allergic to that stuff in dogs' fur, it's unpleasant. I can't imagine putting someone through it and the fact that he isn't talking but suffering is bad. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GemmaUK Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I haven't read the whole thread, only the opening post.. No giving of keys happens, never has. I don't want/expect his keys either. We share keys when we live together so for me there was only one man I shared keys with so far. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Ami1uwant Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I am curious to know after how long dating you've given your SO your home keys or maybe you're the type to never give keys? With my gf 5his didn't c9me up much. She mentioned to me about my keys, but when I mentioned ed about equivalent keys gor me she bslkef. In the relationship I tended to go to her place over 95% of the time. She had a mental think 9f having sex 8f het teenage daughter was hone. I d8dnt have kids so this wasn't a constraint at my place. Similar she complained I didn't stay over. At the same time she didn't open a drawer or hanger space for me to keep things there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 Well except for going to his place instead? My sister's boyfriend is allergic to that stuff in dogs' fur, it's unpleasant. I can't imagine putting someone through it and the fact that he isn't talking but suffering is bad. I cannot leave my dog home and go spend the weekend at his place, or even just spend the night at his place and leave my dog behind. It's not like a cat. I just remember I have an integrated air filter built into my home, I've never started it (what a dummy I can be). Link to post Share on other sites
candie13 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I haven't read the whole thread, only the opening post.. No giving of keys happens, never has. I don't want/expect his keys either. We share keys when we live together so for me there was only one man I shared keys with so far.thanks for this post, Gemma. Something in it made me think back real hard and I've realized that actually only 2 men had my keys and they only got it when we've started to live together. funny, because smackie mentioned the very same thing much earlier, but it didn't strike me. So my approach is def more conservative and safe... Link to post Share on other sites
DivorcedDad123 Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I think we were around 8 months before we exchanged garage door openers. More for logistics than anything. If she's spending the night at my house on certain nights,I go pick up her dog so she doesn't have to backtrack after work. If I'm working or at a kids function/game and she's not,she can get into my house. Sometimes she starts supper before I'm there. Sometimes I do. Its more for convenience than anything,so the other doesn't have to wait until a certain time to be there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Emilia Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I cannot leave my dog home and go spend the weekend at his place, or even just spend the night at his place and leave my dog behind. It's not like a cat. I just remember I have an integrated air filter built into my home, I've never started it (what a dummy I can be). That is true. However if you place a dog over a human, the human may end up having second thoughts. Currently it seems your relationship depends on his tolerance level and whether he thinks he is priority enough. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Gaeta Posted February 9, 2016 Author Share Posted February 9, 2016 That is true. However if you place a dog over a human, the human may end up having second thoughts. Currently it seems your relationship depends on his tolerance level and whether he thinks he is priority enough. Yes I am placing my 9 year old dog over a boyfriend of 2 months. You cannot possibly suggest I get rid of my old aged dog to ease his sneezing. I don't even know if this man will be in my life next week. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
MovingOnIsHard Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 There are 2 options. He leaves his place earlier to avoid traffic and he gets to my home at around 18h a little before me. Or he waits after traffic to leave his home and he gets to my home at 20h. We both prefer him arriving at 18h so we have a real evening together, not just 2 hours before bed time. I pretty much consider those two options everytime I drive down to visit my bf. If i want to avoid traffic, i go earlier.. If he's not home yet, i go hang out somewhere at a cafe to kill time.i mean, what is 30 to 60 min ?? He does the same thing when he comes down to visit me. We dont have each other's keys and we've been together for almost a year now. When we move in together (soon) we'll both have those priviledges. And just because i allowed another man access to my vagina doesnt equate to me giving him my keys... What would stop you from giving your key to another man after having sex with him for the first time??? Did it ever occur to you that he could access your private space anytime if he has a key?? Also, two months is not enough to know someone's trustworthiness... Yeesh... Let's give more worthiness to ourselves and our personal belongings/space and make the man work for it a bit more, no? Link to post Share on other sites
MovingOnIsHard Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 I cannot leave my dog home and go spend the weekend at his place, or even just spend the night at his place and leave my dog behind. It's not like a cat. I just remember I have an integrated air filter built into my home, I've never started it (what a dummy I can be). Have you considered checking your dog in at a boarding facility for the weekend?? There are ways to get around it. Ive got a 6yr old adopted dog. Sadly, because of his behavioural issues, i cannot board him yet so i let him stay at my parents... There are ways to get around the dog issue Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted February 9, 2016 Share Posted February 9, 2016 Yes I am placing my 9 year old dog over a boyfriend of 2 months. You cannot possibly suggest I get rid of my old aged dog to ease his sneezing. I don't even know if this man will be in my life next week. Then definitely do not give him set of keys..... 5 Link to post Share on other sites
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