katiegrl Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) You can call it whatever you want to - bottom line is - she isn't a reasonable person - at all. Why is that good enough for you? Look up projection if you must - look up deflection too - look up manipulation and narcissistic behavior disorder. Look up sociopath while you're at it. ^^This. ten characters Edited February 25, 2016 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Phoenician Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 We are not hearing the other side of the story ; we can't confirm if you are a cheater or not . but from what you mentioned , it is clear that , this girl is not for you ; I am married to a similar person since 18 years , a great women in front of ppl ; after 18 years ... I m not a great person , I am human , make mistakes but now from a mormal person I became a doormat. my advise to you is to analyze her behavior , and deep in your heart assess your behavior too. what character she has : is she an outgoing person , or passive aggressive , is she a confident person ? may be she doesn't trust you because she knows deep inside her heart that she is not able to satisfy you . On the other hand , what character are you ? simple to satisfy or a nagging person ? Border line personalities are very difficult to deal with , what appears logical to you is not for them even if they touch it . Passive aggressiveness is a very powerfull tool , and lethal to relationships . Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted February 25, 2016 Share Posted February 25, 2016 (edited) OP, you're apparently going to learn the hard way that you cannot fix this. Her behaviour is par for the course. You know that. It took me a long time too to finally walk away from it. But it's not going to get better without the help of a qualified professional. If your girlfriend is unwilling to seek treatment, you're going to be stuck in this cycle until you decide to walk away. Nothing in your behavior is going to modify hers. BPD doesn't work that way, assuming that's what she's suffering from (which seems very likely) It's like hoping that by being nice, someone's migraines or ulcers will go away. It's futile. Sorry, but it's the harsh reality. I've been there. And I am so glad I'm not there anymore! My ex refused to seek treatment after his diagnosis. I simply couldn't be his emotional whipping post anymore. And I am 100 x happier and more at peace now. I also know for a fact (heard through the grapevine of a mutual friend) that he is equally awful to his new girlfriend. I feel sympathy for her, but I have moved on. You would also be wise to look into codependency, to help you understand why you are not enforcing better boundaries and standards for yourself. It doesn't come from a place of love, but unhealthy dependency on another to make us feel good about ourselves. You're part of the toxic equation here too, just as I was with my ex. Edited February 25, 2016 by ExpatInItaly 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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