pteromom Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 My daughter just turned 19. I found out she is dating a 30yo man. It takes all the strength inside of me to not pay a visit to him and pound his as$ into the ground. Do you know how her family would react? Might want to find out. Yeah, but there is a huge difference in maturity between 19 and 24. If this girl was 19, I would be giving different advice to the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
upnorth Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) ************ Edited January 21, 2016 by upnorth Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I dated a 19 year old when I was 24.....you get what you get, ...a 19 year old lol. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) I had a feeling with your responses you were in a relationship like this. Nothing wrong with it... just that TEEN factor can be bothersome. I'm sure you were a woman at 18, not a party girl. That's great... but you were still a teenager. I think though your family would have been upset if he were around 30 years old. Don't mean to keep belaboring my point.... but at 19, I (as well as my family and most people I knew at the time, including teachers, my boss, etc.) considered me an ADULT. I was in college, working and supporting myself, as many 19+ people are doing these days. It almost laughable that anyone would refer to me as a teenager at that point in my life. Teenager or teen are just words.... words are meaningless IMO. It's one's maturity level and frame of mind that are important. I know you disagree....so let's just leave it there. Again, respect your opinion. Edited January 21, 2016 by katiegrl 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) I went to Uni at 18. There were girls there were 18-25+ Couldn`t see the difference. But OP...(the age gap here)..... No. Edited January 21, 2016 by Haydn 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 OP, a lot of people on here are creeped out by the age difference in general but whatever. To me the main thing is how you wrote that like erotica, all focussed on the sexy, and then you talk about her "maturity" and "character" and how bad her boyfriend is for talking about her body and all that. A guy who really likes a woman and posts about it on LoveShack doesn't write like what you wrote. What I get from that is you are just interested in having sex with young Asian girls and bragging about it. I remember you have a lot of experience with very young Asian prostitutes and you wrote EXACTLY the same way about your encounters with them. Bottom line is I get from you that you fetishize little Asian girls and you are going to keep having this type of liaison because it's all you're into as far as dealing with women in your life goes. So it doesn't even matter that 1) she's acting like a pro, it's hard to believe she's not one from this story2) she has a boyfriend and acts quite sleazy skyping with him while you are in the room 3) you might have a girlfriend yourself (unclear since you said you don't, and then you said you do). She is a fetish object for you, nothing more than that - that is what I got from reading your post and others of yours. So, whatever, carry on. Do you give her money? One: what'd heo you talking about " lot of experience with very young Asian prostitutes" I never posted anything about anything like that here. Two: I deliberately wrote that as a sexual piece so no one would go around thinking "he's just into the sex, but he's not mentioning it." Yes, obviously sex is a big part of this, but if it was just that, I'd have said so..right? I'd have posted in the sex forum and been more explicit...right? The whole point of posting here is to explore the OTHER side of my feeling for her... Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 Well in order to say something failed, one must logically have some goals that define success. I was looking for those goals. Personally, my relationships don't fail now, because I define success as enjoying the time minute by minute. Sometimes they END, but that's not failure. That's exactly how I approach them. All relationships "fail" eventually, we are not immortal. It's like people forget this fact. Link to post Share on other sites
SSM3 Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 One: what'd heo you talking about " lot of experience with very young Asian prostitutes" I never posted anything about anything like that here. Two: I deliberately wrote that as a sexual piece so no one would go around thinking "he's just into the sex, but he's not mentioning it." Yes, obviously sex is a big part of this, but if it was just that, I'd have said so..right? I'd have posted in the sex forum and been more explicit...right? The whole point of posting here is to explore the OTHER side of my feeling for her... My friend, this will end in tears please listen to us and take onboard the advice. I've been involved with a much younger person before and I listened to the advice, which I'm glad I did now. They said enjoy the fun, it won't last. It didn't, they were right. I was like you trying to defend my corner but in the end they were right. Just saying Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 (edited) OK, so a big update. She had been pushing back at me recently, telling me she was feeling bad about cheating on her bf, and that we can't hook up anymore. Now, if I thought she had found a good match, I'd have sadly let her go... BUT I firmly believe he isn't good for her, and the other night while on business in Sydney, I got a little drunk, and told her my thoughts on her bf. "Think how about our easy, long conversations, and how your boyfriend talks at you" "Think how I compliment you, and how he does" And quite a few more things about how he controls her, why, if she loves him, hasn't she already simply gone to India to be with him..etc She then defended him, so I said good night. Next day we are talking, and I'm trying to arrange a dinner for Friday when I get back to Melbourne...she's pushing me away, so I say.."those nights we spent meant something" She replied: "No nothing, I just wanted this short time with you, I feel nothing" BOOM. OK, that hurt... After a while I text her: "If you really only wanted those few days with me, and not interested in me at all, then you aren't the girl I want in my life" “But if you really wanted more than sex, then show me…actions…not words.” “I don’t know if you realise, but you hurt me” She replies: “yea, that’s the result I wanted OK, to hurt you” “Hurt you badly, as much as I can” “whatever you think” “I’m a bad girl OK, I told you” I know she’s lashing out… I reply an hour or so later: “You’re not happy being this “bad girl,” you want to be good...I know. Be honest with yourself” “I know you feel bad about this, but put on a brave face” “Just think, really think…Is this the life you want? Are you the person you want to be” Her response…. “OK…maybe u wrong, maybe u right… “OK..I will think you are right about my bf, I chose the wrong partner…OK. But how are you best for me…? To be honest I can’t believe any man, I can’t trust any man…how can I trust you?” I skipped a lot of the communication here, suffice to say we spoke for hours...I've only highlighted some key points... So there, for the first time, she admits she’s not happy with her BF… We have decided to step back, she will break up with her bf, but until then, we are just friends… Once she is clear of this, then we can decide if we are going to try a more serious relationship. Edited January 21, 2016 by yxalitis Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 21, 2016 Author Share Posted January 21, 2016 My friend, this will end in tears please listen to us and take onboard the advice. I've been involved with a much younger person before and I listened to the advice, which I'm glad I did now. They said enjoy the fun, it won't last. It didn't, they were right. I was like you trying to defend my corner but in the end they were right. Just saying What advice....I haven't actually received any... Some say...Go for it Some say...It'll end badly Some say...run away! Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 What advice....I haven't actually received any... Some say...Go for it Some say...It'll end badly Some say...run away! After reading that insipid text conversation, I say "blech". 8 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 21, 2016 Share Posted January 21, 2016 I skipped a lot of the communication here, suffice to say we spoke for hours...I've only highlighted some key points... So there, for the first time, she admits she’s not happy with her BF… We have decided to step back, she will break up with her bf, but until then, we are just friends… Once she is clear of this, then we can decide if we are going to try a more serious relationship. Is THAT all you got from that cringeworthy text convo? Really?????? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 One: what'd heo you talking about " lot of experience with very young Asian prostitutes" I never posted anything about anything like that here. Two: I deliberately wrote that as a sexual piece so no one would go around thinking "he's just into the sex, but he's not mentioning it." Yes, obviously sex is a big part of this, but if it was just that, I'd have said so..right? I'd have posted in the sex forum and been more explicit...right? The whole point of posting here is to explore the OTHER side of my feeling for her... As much as I hate cheating .... I found your original post kind of nice... it was like one of my erotica novels and they usually make me want to go and jump on my husband... much like your post actually. It's a very big age gap... but so was the gap between Celine Dion and her husband. They were together till death parted them. On why you when she could have anyone. Probably because your sexually experienced and you make it good for her. ..it's that simple..you make her feel good in bed. That's always a plus. Perhaps the younger guys she's been with are just into their own pleasure. Another thing is she sees you as safe. You can play with fire when you know you'd never end up with that person. ..The risk is low in a way. Link to post Share on other sites
xxoo Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 “OK..I will think you are right about my bf, I chose the wrong partner…OK. But how are you best for me…? To be honest I can’t believe any man, I can’t trust any man…how can I trust you?”. She's letting you down gently. She doesn't want a relationship with you, bf or not. She's blaming herself/trust issues instead of being blunt. You want to have sex with her? Have sex with her. That's what she's offering. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Yep.. she doesn't sound like one of those slightly crazy, immature, high maintenance 24 year olds at all... I don't know man.. playing with fire here. It's already becoming clear you're more invested in this than she is. Why are you wasting energy on this girl? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 I think I may need a shower after reading that text convo. That doesn't sound like reciprocal relationship; it sounds like an older man grooming a young girl. smh 9 Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Next day we are talking, and I'm trying to arrange a dinner for Friday when I get back to Melbourne...she's pushing me away, so I say.."those nights we spent meant something" She replied: "No nothing, I just wanted this short time with you, I feel nothing" So I was right! She was just using you to fill the void of not having sex with her boyfriend. As for the rest of the conversation, read like a Law & Order SVU episode. Link to post Share on other sites
Author yxalitis Posted January 22, 2016 Author Share Posted January 22, 2016 So I was right! She was just using you to fill the void of not having sex with her boyfriend. As for the rest of the conversation, read like a Law & Order SVU episode. Bzzt...wrong She said that to push me away...not because it was true. If it was true, she'd have simply let me go. I was already gone, in my mind, moving on with my life, when she bounced back with that question where she admitted she wasn't happy about her bf after all. From that a whole conversation started abotu what we were, waht we wanted etc etc I only dumped a small part of several hours of conversation here, perhaps I chose the quotes poorly...but we are in a good place...that's all I can say... Link to post Share on other sites
truth_seeker Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Bzzt...wrong She said that to push me away...not because it was true. If it was true, she'd have simply let me go. I was already gone, in my mind, moving on with my life, when she bounced back with that question where she admitted she wasn't happy about her bf after all. From that a whole conversation started abotu what we were, waht we wanted etc etc I only dumped a small part of several hours of conversation here, perhaps I chose the quotes poorly...but we are in a good place...that's all I can say... You sure about that? Maybe you're right... but there is a possibility you were filling a void. She talks to her boyfriend long distance and has sex with you. You don't think that's all she wanted? Sex? Don't feel bad about others making you out to be a creep... at least you're not like that other guy who has fetishes for pregnant women Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 OK, so you're all thinking...it's a fling. Both their partners are overseas, and they got horny. That is all this is. But, you tried to turn it into something more and it backfired. Link to post Share on other sites
Justanaverageguy Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Bzzt...wrong She said that to push me away...not because it was true. If it was true, she'd have simply let me go. I was already gone, in my mind, moving on with my life, when she bounced back with that question where she admitted she wasn't happy about her bf after all. From that a whole conversation started abotu what we were, waht we wanted etc etc I only dumped a small part of several hours of conversation here, perhaps I chose the quotes poorly...but we are in a good place...that's all I can say... This is exactly what I was talking about earlier in the post. It begins!!! This back and forth yoyo between you and the current boyfriend can go on for months. She likes attention and she likes drama. This is what these girls do. She will say she is going to break up with the boyfriend but won't .... or will go back to him after 2 days. I'll be standing by for the next update where she says she is going back to her boyfriend then changes her mind again ...... and then goes back to him again ..... repeat Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Going by LS, most mid-thirties+ guys don't look a day over 25, are all fit, rich, successful business guys and most 20-24yo women are hot + fun + smart + different + emotionally mature. The strange thing is that these scenarios never actually play out in that way IRL... No matter Enjoy while it lasts OP. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
SmartDude Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 Going by LS, most mid-thirties+ guys don't look a day over 25, are all fit, rich, successful business guys and most 20-24yo women are hot + fun + smart + different + emotionally mature. The strange thing is that these scenarios never actually play out in that way IRL... No matter Enjoy while it lasts OP. Its not like that at all under the surface. Most women will either never fully understand or never admit to themselves why men are attracted to younger women. Women ussualy do not seek out younger men for a reason. It is because an inexperienced partner has no value for a woman. So there is no real way to relate to a man's experience and desires. Guys enjoy the young youthfull bodies, yes. But to say that is all there is to it is an absolute lie. Older women come with some problems, they are very particular about what they want. Lets say we have a women who is late 30's early 40's. She might drink a certain type of wine and think that wine tasting is some cultural epitah of maturity. She might break up with you because she does not like the furniture in your house. She has an agenda for YOUR LIFE as well as her own. Its all about having PLANS and GOALS, which translate to a man being an ox plowing a field so that she can have a beautifull life. Then with a half ass lazy smile, as she is sipping her wine she says: "Don't we have a wonderfull life together?" *barf* A younger woman has no superficial goals weighing her down. She is full of enthusiasm, optimism and love for the world around her. She has amazing insights not because of her experience but because she has a lack of life experience. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 (edited) Its not like that at all under the surface. Most women will either never fully understand or never admit to themselves why men are attracted to younger women. Women ussualy do not seek out younger men for a reason. It is because an inexperienced partner has no value for a woman. So there is no real way to relate to a man's experience and desires. Guys enjoy the young youthfull bodies, yes. But to say that is all there is to it is an absolute lie. Older women come with some problems, they are very particular about what they want. Lets say we have a women who is late 30's early 40's. She might drink a certain type of wine and think that wine tasting is some cultural epitah of maturity. She might break up with you because she does not like the furniture in your house. She has an agenda for YOUR LIFE as well as her own. Its all about having PLANS and GOALS, which translate to a man being an ox plowing a field so that she can have a beautifull life. Then with a half ass lazy smile, as she is sipping her wine she says: "Don't we have a wonderfull life together?" *barf* A younger woman has no superficial goals weighing her down. She is full of enthusiasm, optimism and love for the world around her. She has amazing insights not because of her experience but because she has a lack of life experience. Speaking for myself, that's bunk. I am about as flexible and open as they come, and I am 37. If anything, I have learned to be MORE open-minded and flexible as I have gotten older. MORE accepting of our differences. And I am not alone in that either. I am also in great shape and my body looks about the same as it did in my early 20's! As well as many of my *older* friends. We are not the women of previous generations. Old and washed up at 40 ....doomed to be alone forever. Don't mean to sound so defensive about it, but it irks me to no end when I hear shyt like this. Every woman is different from the other -- no matter what her age. Younger women can be every bit as rigid and inflexible as you claim older women are. And older women can be as enthusiastic, and free-spirited, etc as you claim younger women are. Always learning, always growing It's about personality, not age. Edited January 22, 2016 by katiegrl 5 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted January 22, 2016 Share Posted January 22, 2016 All I can add is that when you engage in miles of text, you're playing on the other teams home field. When you show up, she is ready to be with you. Keep showing up. Everything else is window dressing. Link to post Share on other sites
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