Where to meet single self sufficient women? Do they exist?

[BlueIris]

It's in the article you sent me if you scroll down.

 

Also I am Caucasian. I know in different cultures in America the woman typically is the breadwinner. And I am not including welfare cases either. I think it would then be closer to 90 percent males are the primary bread winners

 

I looked it up and 30% of married women earn more than their husbands.

 

But that doesn't mean that 70% would not be self-sufficient if living alone. I didn't earn as much as my exH but I'm self-sufficient.

[oregon0011]

It's in the article you sent me if you scroll down.

 

Also I am Caucasian. I know in different cultures in America the woman typically is the breadwinner. And I am not including welfare cases either. I think it would then be closer to 90 percent males are the primary bread winners

 

Of all households with children younger than 18, the share of married mothers who out-earn their husbands has gone up from 4% in 1960 to 15% in 2011, nearly a fourfold increase. During the same period, the share of families led by a single mother has more than tripled (from 7% to 25%).

[oregon0011]

I looked it up and 30% of married women earn more than their husbands.

 

But that doesn't mean that 70% would not be self-sufficient if living alone. I didn't earn as much as my exH but I'm self-sufficient.

 

Such marriages are still relatively rare, even if their share is growing. Of all married couples, 24 percent include a wife who earns more, versus 6 percent in 1960. (The percentages are similar for married couples who have children.)

[BlueIris]

Like other posters, the only women I know are self-sufficient, including my daughter and her friends. My mom (now 84) could have supported herself, worked full-time until retirement at ~60. All of her friends too. So...

 

People have given you places to go/look. Which do you think you’ll try first?

[ChickiePops]

I understand its not a blanket statement for every woman, but it fits for more than it doesnt. 99% of the time, one of the first questions a woman asks a guy is "what do you do"?

 

Admittedly I am not caught up on this thread so someone may have pointed this out already, but 'what do you do' is a common ice breaker for ANY conversation regardless of the dynamic (romantic/professional...etc). It has nothing to do with judgment or standards.

 

I'm sorry you appear to have had so many negative experiences but you're very, very wrong to make such a broad statement about women. It's simply not true.

[losangelena]

Admittedly I am not caught up on this thread so someone may have pointed this out already, but 'what do you do' is a common ice breaker for ANY conversation regardless of the dynamic (romantic/professional...etc). It has nothing to do with judgment or standards.

 

I'm sorry you appear to have had so many negative experiences but you're very, very wrong to make such a broad statement about women. It's simply not true.

 

I was just coming here to say the same thing. "What do you do" is a question that 99% of women ask in order to get to know the guy they're dating. I can't agree that 99% of women are asking in order to assess a man's economic fortitude. Oh. Please. I know PLENTY of women who don't give a rat's behind.

[ChickiePops]

I was just coming here to say the same thing. "What do you do" is a question that 99% of women ask in order to get to know the guy they're dating. I can't agree that 99% of women are asking in order to assess a man's economic fortitude. Oh. Please. I know PLENTY of women who don't give a rat's behind.

 

I don't think it's even exclusively a female-oriented question. Men ask it as much as we do.

 

That's a natural question in any social setting.

[No_Go]

I'm adding all my friends, where at least 3 couples the guy decided to be a homemaker:

-scientist F/ (programmer) M

-editor F / (tech entrepreneur) M

-professor F/ (consultant) M

In the three listed couples the man professions are bracketed since they stayed at home after getting married, their wives earn enough.

These are from my close friend circle only!

 

Like other posters, the only women I know are self-sufficient, including my daughter and her friends. My mom (now 84) could have supported herself, worked full-time until retirement at ~60. All of her friends too. So...

 

People have given you places to go/look. Which do you think you’ll try first?

[Sarabi]

So do they exist? That self sufficient well balanced egalitarian female who just wants to be loved?

 

Hmmmm...I just want to be loved but...:

My dad never supported me and he has passed away now so there was never any threat of him taking things away if I shacked up with a man. So am not a daddies girl.

I am definitely not a sugar baby...

I can hold a job...

Have never lived off a man...

 

So that leaves me in debt and unable to manage money. In a sense, both were true...depending on how you look at it.

Student loans in the UK are not given out by banks and are paid back automatically through earnings if you earn a certain amount over a particular threshold. You can put money towards this too.

There is no penalty for not paying it back, even if you reach retirement age and still have money outstanding. There is no reward for paying it off early.

 

As for managing money-I worked but it took me 8 yrs after graduating from my first degree to find a decent, somewhat graduate level job. My skin is the wrong colour and I have a name which screams "foreigner" and I hate to say it but these can be strikes against you when trying to advance in a career in certain places in the world. It sounds like an excuse but it is a reality that some people are going through every day.

So. I spent the whole of my teens and twenties working the low end, minimum wage, hand to mouth jobs. I never took out additional bank loans or numerous credit cards. I hardly dated or had boyfriends so had no man or bank of mum and dad to leech money from. I did not have a career, I had jobs which poisoned my CV because they were a waste of time and you could not grow from them but I did them because I needed to eat and did not want a gap on my CV. I tried to save(not very much but hey). Worked overtime when I could. Paid rent etc. on time. but the earnings are worth less than nothing. I don't know if you understand the feeling but the stress and strain on your mental health from doing a worthless job is not something to be taken lightly

 

I consider myself self sufficient and willing to put in my fair share when it comes to a relationship...but according to you ABC classification above I would be one of the "wrong" types of woman...

[Leigh 87]

I have a degree, paid myself and never had any debt.

 

So yes, It should be paid off by 30, I would think. Not that I really care, but it seems once people start acquiring debt they get the mindset of "oh well what's a little more debt" until they are deep in a hole. I never even had a credit card. But I have also had girlfriends who used college loan money for extravagant vacations.

 

 

Not everyone graduates in their early 20s. I am midway through a podiatry degree at age 29 and loving it. Half our cohort are of a mature age!

 

Not everyone wants to stack shelves at night on top of 40 hours of study per week. The only people that manage to pay off their Hecs debts are those students who work 30 plus hours a week and study full time on top of that.

 

The rest of us pay it off later in life when we are in a decent job and can afford a small weekly payment towards the student loan.

 

Stop being so judgmental if you want a decent girl. Having a career and being independent should be enough. Only a loser would refuse to date a woman based in college debt.

[serial muse]

Such marriages are still relatively rare, even if their share is growing. Of all married couples, 24 percent include a wife who earns more, versus 6 percent in 1960. (The percentages are similar for married couples who have children.)

 

Seems like you are bending over backward to reject data that doesn't support your hypothesis. []

 

The real problem, I suspect, is that self-sufficient women aren't going to be interested in dating a guy who doesn't like them and doesn't respect them. [off-topic personal characterizations redacted]

Edited January 21, 2016 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Lack of civility and respect

[Imajerk17]

This thread is quite bizarre as it hasn't been my experience at all. I've never asked for a credit report of any of my dates, but most of them seem to support themselves financially just fine. Then again, given the other stuff I've read on here and in other corners of the Internet--women only go for Top-Tier Men above 5'11' (which contradicts your other thread OP that says women go for losers) maybe I shouldn't be surprised. The relationship between the genders in the Real World may not be perfect, but it is far better than many corners of the Internet would have you to believe.

 

As far as "Where you can find self-sufficient women" I don't know...Match, CrossFit, Happy Hour with friends..... Again, most women I talk to just happen to have a reasonable handle on their finances.

Edited January 21, 2016 by Imajerk17

[ChickiePops]

Also, to be fair, men still get paid more than women in general, so we have to work much harder to earn more than most men do.

 

Besides, why does it matter who contributes more? Are you intending to count every penny that both you and your wife brings in? Marriages are partnerships in more ways than one, you have to be willing to give and take. If you earn more, perhaps she does more housework. It all evens out in the end.

[CTRL C]

Good grief where are you finding these women? Or are guys just latching hold of their bad experiences and assuming everyone else is like them?

 

I'm an engineer, I bought my own car outright and about to buy my own house. Credit score almost 800, zero CC debt; the few k of student debt I have was an investment I chose to take on to fill the gap from a tanked scholarship, and is almost paid off now. Never married, no kids, no ex baggage, no mental illness or drug use or any of that crap. I'll even change my own tire, shovel my own snow, and fix my own leaky faucet. Bonus: I can use semicolons and know the difference between "affect" and "effect."

 

Oh, and I'm 26. There's half a dozen more I could name who are just like me. I'm fairly certain that, of those who are single, there are plenty of women over 30 with an even better handle on their lives than myself.

 

Of course based on my past experience, nearly all men (relationship or not) fall into one of a few categories:

1. They patronize and criticize my independence, some going so far as to take things out of my hands with a "oh honey let a man do that";

2. They focus on my adherance to feminine ideals (pretty, polite, etc.), treating my career and intelligence as some sort of novelty; or

3. They completely disregard and ignore me, for who knows what reasons.

 

I could choose to hang up on those experiences, or I could choose to let go of them and focus my energy on evaluating and experiencing the next person on their own merits.

 

Obviously I'm much younger and more limited in my experiences than you, so maybe there's some logic here that I missed... but wouldn't it be more productive to actually look for the person you want, instead of wasting energy mulling over the ones you obviously don't?