Author Fruitee Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 75 % of my time I spend with school and work. That is right now taking a lot of time. Because I have many deadlines. And lots of work to do. I also meet with my friends as much as possible. I was also thinking about this girl I met at school. That I will ask her about her hobby. Because I wanna join that game club. Then I am going to gym. I will go today again after 2 week break. Then ny best friend and I attend different types of social events and networking clubs. I have job interview coming up. I am still looking for new job. And now this opportunity seems very good! I hope it will go well. Guys I meet like once a week. Last week I had those 2 dates. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 8, 2016 Author Share Posted March 8, 2016 I dont know what to think about that guy I met today. He was still very good looking and charming. He seemed little bit shy. He was very cute when he hold my hand. Before we aparted he kissed me. He talked just some chit chat. I will see him again if he makes the moves. I have told him that I dont want another fwb situation with him. And he said he is not sure what he wants. So I am not holding my breath. He asked me out. So I will let him do the rest of it now. I did say my opinion. Rest is up to him. In the mean while I will concentrate on my own stuff. What I did learn from all of this dating is that I can get over dissapointment. I can have fun and sex and good time with guys. I barely think of my ex anymore. There is hope and plenty of interesting guys who wanna spend time with me. But online dating guys are pretty much one date and then puff. So I need to think more carefully who to trust and who not to. Anyway Iam doing very well and life goes on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 After that guy who stood me up texted me that he dont wanna take this further I have been feeling some how calm and relaxed. I am not sure why. Yesterday when I met that guy from my past I realised also something important. That "relationship" never worked out because I was always feeling too ugly too fat etc for him. It has its roots on my low self esteem. And my crazy ex was able to tap into that. Giving me love and support i never got my home. Calling me beautiful etc. But now I have done a lot work on myself. I have lost lot of weight. I am going to gym. I let my hair grow. I found my style. I think I am pretty. I am good catch in my "market area":D i have my place and work and studies. And so on. I feel much better about myself now. I guess it is true when they say only look back to see how far you have come. And I have come a long way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
siochana Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 After that guy who stood me up texted me that he dont wanna take this further I have been feeling some how calm and relaxed. I am not sure why. Yesterday when I met that guy from my past I realised also something important. That "relationship" never worked out because I was always feeling too ugly too fat etc for him. It has its roots on my low self esteem. And my crazy ex was able to tap into that. Giving me love and support i never got my home. Calling me beautiful etc. But now I have done a lot work on myself. I have lost lot of weight. I am going to gym. I let my hair grow. I found my style. I think I am pretty. I am good catch in my "market area":D i have my place and work and studies. And so on. I feel much better about myself now. I guess it is true when they say only look back to see how far you have come. And I have come a long way. I have a come along way but I'm still angry and a bit bitter. How long before, in your case, it didnt hurt anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 I have a come along way but I'm still angry and a bit bitter. How long before, in your case, it didnt hurt anymore? With my crazy ex? It has been 4 to 5 months now. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 9, 2016 Author Share Posted March 9, 2016 I have to admit that I am starting to think that this place has no man suitable for me. But I will have to move to be able to find a guy. I guess the circles are too small. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted March 9, 2016 Share Posted March 9, 2016 You talk about sex a lot, but I think you also said you haven't had sex in a long time. What's it like - if you go out, how long before you have sex with someone? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 10, 2016 Author Share Posted March 10, 2016 ^ I would tell you if I knew because right now I am not getting past 1st date. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 Once again I have no clue whats going on. I saw that movie guy again and we spent like 6 hours just talking. He didnt push me or anything. Seemed like he likes me. We had good time. Then suddenly he tells me he is not ready to be in a relationship. I am like okay? And then this morning he accussed me of being out in clubs even I wasnt out and told him I didnt go out. But apparently "one of his friends" saw me out. Why guys do stuff like this? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 13, 2016 Author Share Posted March 13, 2016 This day just got better. Lol. I talked with my crazy ex in the phone. Suddenly my phone rang and there he was. I dont know even know why I answered. Anyway. He was telling me how much he misses me and loves me. Then he was asking me if we could get back together. When I told him yeah we can if you can live with me for 3 months under safe roof without sex and drinking and spend every single night with me. Suddenly he was in hurry to end the phone call. Funny thing is I didnt feel the rush of emotions when talking to him. It felt familiar to talk to him. But thats it Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted March 14, 2016 Share Posted March 14, 2016 You're just experiencing more about men and dating. The more you do it, the better you get at protecting yourself and not taking crap from people. Sounds like progress. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 (edited) Yes I am learning a lot. And you guys should be very proud of me. After skyping with my crazy ex I agreed we could talk in whatsapp. But eventually he had nothing new to say. I told him if he wants me to talk to him he needs to prove me that they actually broke up. He didnt. Then he just started to accuse me again. And kept asking who I am with and enjoy your time etc. That he dont wanna know. I told him I dont need a new man not to be with him. I dont wanna be with him because of who he is. I dont miss him. Love him. Hate him. Or even think about him. Then he said what a waste of time then. I said you were the one who called me and said wanna get back together. So i dont need to do ****. I am not waiting for him. So if he wants me then he will do as i say or no deal. Because I am not the one here who needs to prove anything or make any amends etc. Then he blocked me. I actually meant it when I told him to **** off from my life and stop calling me and texting me once a month how he misses me. That I have my life in order and he should get his **** together too. Edited March 14, 2016 by Fruitee 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 I also think that movie guy was out even he told me he is too tired to go. Then he probably saw someone who looked like me and freaked out and thats why was asking me if I was out. Because I havent met any of his friends and he just said someone regocnize me from the previous night. When I told him I wasnt out and why he dont believe me but one of "his friends" and why he thinks I am lying he didnt answer at all. When I asked where he heard I was he said he dont have time for this. It felt like something my crazy ex was doing to me. So I decided that was last straw and he was out. We were just hanging and he said he dont want a relationship and suddenly he is acting all crazy. Accussing me lying to him. ** I also made a plan. I decided to graduate next year spring. I made study plan. Next autumn i will decide my thesis subject. So i can apply for jobs until august. I will continue saving money and selling my stuff. Hopefully summer 2017 i can move out of this **** hole. I have been talking to that guy who moved. I will visit him soon. And he has plenty of tips for me how to apply for jobs abroad etc. So should be interesting. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 14, 2016 Author Share Posted March 14, 2016 I almost forgot. My new phone has very good blocking now. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 I wrote a long message but it dissapeared. But now I finally feel like I am woman with standards, boundaries, a woman with goals and plan and ambition. The shame of being beaten up by my bf has worn off. I dont take any **** from anyone. He is the one who said he wants me back. So then he needs to change and do what is needed. Not that I am even considering it. But it feels very powerful to realize this. He said it is up to me if I want to meet him. And I said yes it is. But it is him who needs to prove me it is worth my time. Then he started to mess with my head again. For example when I had just said I want proof they broke up and then he is like proof of what. Which makes me feel like I am banging my head against the wall. Like I am talking to an idiot. And he will never change. He will keep doing that. Thinking it is enough for him to say that he loves me and wants me back. And when I make demands for that to happen he shifts blame on me. Like why I never call him. And I ask why would I. I didnt say I want him back. He left. So he should do it. Not me. Well anyway. I feel good and strong. I stood my ground. I just didnt take his words. I demanded something for myself. And he didnt deliver. I dont need to care if his heart is broken. Or if he loves me or not. If he is not delivering what I want or need then what he does, feels or thinks is none of my business. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 My basic nature is not very positive and I am more on the pessimistic side in general. But now after a long time I actually feel hopeful and positive about my future. Like I walked through hell and fire and very long and dark tunnell full of zombies and now I am here. In the light. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 15, 2016 Author Share Posted March 15, 2016 That guy who asked me out last week but didnt know what he wants... wants to meet me again and go climbing with me. So i dont know anymore. people seem to do whatever just pops up in their minds.. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Well, yeah. That's called living. Life doesn't have to be planned out. It's a lot more fun if you just wake up and say 'I feel like going for a hike today. Who can I call to go do it with me?' 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 ^ That just seems so weird to me. I always thougt that the guy needs to plan everything ahead. Not just call me up the same day / couple of hours ahead / something like that. Maybe I should learn to be more spontanius now. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 You will be surprised how uplifted and free you will feel, if you just allow yourself to wing it on things. Something I used to do with my DD25 when she was little: we'd get in the car, and I'd say 'ok, you're the boss. Tell me which direction to drive - left, right, or forward.' And we'd just drive around forever, in whatever direction she'd come up with, and see where it took us. It was so much fun to not plan it out, just see what happened. You should try it sometime. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 You will be surprised how uplifted and free you will feel, if you just allow yourself to wing it on things. Something I used to do with my DD25 when she was little: we'd get in the car, and I'd say 'ok, you're the boss. Tell me which direction to drive - left, right, or forward.' And we'd just drive around forever, in whatever direction she'd come up with, and see where it took us. It was so much fun to not plan it out, just see what happened. You should try it sometime. When we get a free weekend, my family and I pick a place nearby and explore it. Often we won't know until the day of where we are going. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 But it is a good thing he asked me to join him? He said we can meet after he is done unless I wanna go with him. Link to post Share on other sites
turnera Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Absolutely a good thing. Do you know what most men's top three Emotional Needs are? Sex, Admiration, and Recreation. Meaning, what men want in a woman is someone who is spontaneous, fun, NOT overly serious, not judgmental, laughs a lot, and is open to trying new things. IMO, men grow up prioritizing 'fun' way more than women do, so as adults, they want a woman who is hot and sexy but also who wants to have fun. I've seen it over and over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
dreamingoftigers Posted March 16, 2016 Share Posted March 16, 2016 Absolutely a good thing. Do you know what most men's top three Emotional Needs are? Sex, Admiration, and Recreation. Meaning, what men want in a woman is someone who is spontaneous, fun, NOT overly serious, not judgmental, laughs a lot, and is open to trying new things. IMO, men grow up prioritizing 'fun' way more than women do, so as adults, they want a woman who is hot and sexy but also who wants to have fun. I've seen it over and over. Funnily enough, Canadian Tire studied men for years to figure out what would motivate them (for advertising purposes). It pretty much boiled down to: fun. Fun was like oxygen. I think that's why a lot of douchey guys try to put so much responsibility onto the women they are with, so they can go out and have more fun doing whatever. But having a guy that wants to have fun WITH YOU is a pretty important thing. My husband and I laugh a lot. It's a pretty important thing. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Fruitee Posted March 16, 2016 Author Share Posted March 16, 2016 I will try to be more fun then for sure. Link to post Share on other sites
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