Author edgygirl Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 I don't take myself so seriously. And I am way over 25. I am ENFP. As a fellow N, you know exactly what I am talking about. While I listen to the kids talk, it can become old and boring. If it's once in a while, cool. Every single time? Sorry, I will avoid chatting with that person as I can't relate that much and it bores me to death. As for the time management, I agree. They are quite impressive at that and I did learn one things or two in the last couple of weeks from the kids talk and managing their time. I don't have any kids and I am INTJ. I work a lot in innovative areas as my number 1 strength (if strength finders is your thing) is ideation. I have built a career on being able to apply seemingly disparate ideas and methods to new sectors. I am not sure how old you are, but you remind me a fair bit of me aged 25. And I acknowledge now that I was an obnoxious twat. Impatient with the mundane but in retrospect rather smug in my superiority that what I was doing/thinking/talking about was important and NEVER banal. I rather like hearing about other peoples "thing". To be honest, one trick ponies are super easy to engage in conversation. I still love ideas and always will. But I now prefer to keep it to when people are clearly interested and/or paying me. I own a company and rely on my colleagues to keep me up to date on what is happening in nashville. Don't take yourself so seriously. One of the most valuable skills you can develop is being a good listener and taking something away from the conversation. Parents are the best time managers and negotiators and no doubt you might learn something. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 18, 2015 Author Share Posted December 18, 2015 I didn't say I expect only ideas. But I do expect that kids are not the only subject with a specific person. What makes them think I am interested in talking about their kids every single time we chat? As I keep saying... once in a while, fine. Every single time? Zzzzz... I know for me, I try not to go on and on about my kids to others at work except close friends who also have kids. But if people ask me what I did on the weekend, I'm going to talk about stuff I did with my kids, because really I honestly don't have much free time without my kids involved these days. I get wanting to talk about grand ideas rather than just "small talk". But you can't expect every conversation you have in the work place, or anywhere really to be like that. You have to get to know people as people, not just their ideas about the world and politics and other big things like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I get you. Facebook related, I have zero interest in seeing kid's pictures. I never find anyone's kids even remotely interesting. Any topics related to them bore me to death. If I generally like a person, I will tolerate some kid talk but my interest is fake. I also never "like" FB kid pictures. There is this co-worker that just had a baby and posts pictures of every bath time and meal time. I cringe every time I see stuff like "Mr Ducky enjoying some splashing :D". I like the guy and his wife so I once super forced myself to click on "like" I think that kid obsession is one thing I don't get at all about human experience. I recently had a pregnancy scare and had nightmares of being trapped under water. Why would anyone willingly give away all their free time and energy to something so boring? I just can't relate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Lois_Griffin Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 Unfortunately EdgyGirl, it doesn't stop with the one-trick pony parents talking about their kids constantly. Just wait til they're older - then you get to constantly hear about their grandkids until you want to poke your damned eye out with a pitchfork. My boss is like that. When she starts in about her grandkids, my eyes want to roll so far up in my head I can see my brain. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I've met a couple of people who can't converse about a subject without turning it into a story about their sister, or their friend, or their kids, or whatever. I figure that for whatever reason, they feel uncomfortable sharing their own opinions, so they share someone else's story instead, using that as a sort of buffer to the conversation. I think part of the OPs complaint is that these people aren't being very good conversationalists. Part of making good conversation is recognizing if your audience is interested in what you are saying, and trying to find common ground. Sounds like OP is trying her best to find common ground, but the other person is stubbornly sticking to the same subject. It can be very frustrating to talk to someone who doesn't care about what interests you and would rather monopolize the conversation with their own topics of interest. That goes for ANY topic, not just kids. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I'm with you, OP. I like kids fine as human beings but as conversation topics they're very boring. I tend to deploy the "unfollow" button very often on Facebook when it comes to parents who post too much about their kids. I feel as if we've become more "kid centric" as a society. It seems as if parents spend more time with their children, take them more places, tend to take parenting overall more seriously than they used to. I remember when I was a kid (I mean, obviously there was no internet), my parents did loads of things without my brother and I in tow. If they wanted to go out, they hired a babysitter. I don't have kids, don't know if I want them, but for sure if I ever become a parent, the slightly "hands off" approach seems more attractive. I would, as much as is reasonably possible, want to retain my own interests and identity outside of my kids. I think too many parents these days fully cede their lives to their children, and I wonder if that's really such a good thing. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ufo8mycat Posted December 18, 2015 Share Posted December 18, 2015 I think part of the OPs complaint is that these people aren't being very good conversationalists. Part of making good conversation is recognizing if your audience is interested in what you are saying, and trying to find common ground. Sounds like OP is trying her best to find common ground, but the other person is stubbornly sticking to the same subject. It can be very frustrating to talk to someone who doesn't care about what interests you and would rather monopolize the conversation with their own topics of interest. That goes for ANY topic, not just kids. I would argue that the OP isn't showing her self to be a good conversationalist. I understand the interest in the big picture but a derision of talking about kids, sport or activities etc make the conversation as one dimensional as those she is complaining about. Good conversationalists are engaging and they are flexible. Hence the ability to be curious, interested and be able to converse on a range of topics. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
SpiralOut Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 I would argue that the OP isn't showing her self to be a good conversationalist. I understand the interest in the big picture but a derision of talking about kids, sport or activities etc make the conversation as one dimensional as those she is complaining about. Good conversationalists are engaging and they are flexible. Hence the ability to be curious, interested and be able to converse on a range of topics. one-sided conversations aren't much fun regardless of how skilled one or both people are. That's my perspective as a person who has frequently been put into the "therapist" role with people who talk incessantly about themselves and their own interests without showing any interest back. For that reason, I find it easy to relate to the OP's frustration. I do agree that everyone has room for improvement so far as their conversation skills go. The advice I have for OP is to stop expecting your coworkers to give you the type of conversations you want. Do you have another outlet? I only ask because you've mentioned most of your friends have kids right now. If you're hearing baby talk everywhere you go, it can get to be too much. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
anika99 Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 of course they do, and have, countless times. they tell mothers at least to take time for themselves, to cultivate their own hobbies and interests after the kids are born, to still make time for their husbands - which many women 100% neglect after kids - to go out with friends and socialize with adults, etc., it's advice given all the time. you might be a male and not hearing it? Oh you're right! They do tell mother's that. They also tell them that they should work out everyday to keep their bodies in tip top shape, that they should be preparing several healthy meals and snacks everyday for their family, and that their homes should be neat and tidy at all times and look like a page out of Better Homes and Gardens. Furthermore they should be pursuing careers and avenues of self improvement at all times and they should never look frumpy or be cranky or lazy. If only all these terrible moms would listen to these great and helpful suggestions. I personally don't really care what people talk about at work. They can talk about their kids, their pets or their wild parties. What difference does it make? I'm a pretty good conversationalist and I can make small talk about pretty much anything so whatever somebody wants to talk about is cool with me because it's just work and I just want to have a positive work day with happy coworkers. I don't care that my coworker's don't meet my need for inspiring and witty conversation because that's not what I'm there for. I have my own private life to get my needs met, my coworkers don't have to entertain me with meaningful discussions. Also I've seen people complain about parents posting about their kids too much on facebook...LOL..Like 99% of everything posted on facebook isn't mindless worthless crap. Oh like this post and share it if you care about abused kids! Share this post if you love your mother! Look at these pictures I took! Look at this picture of my food! Look at all my selfies!(and pretty please stroke my needy desperate ego) Listen to me spout my opinions about everything under the sun! etc etc....Facebook is just one big festival of narcissism as far as I'm concerned and anybody looking for deep and meaningful interactions on facebook is in lala land. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 Ughhh. Hadn't thought about this! Unfortunately EdgyGirl, it doesn't stop with the one-trick pony parents talking about their kids constantly. Just wait til they're older - then you get to constantly hear about their grandkids until you want to poke your damned eye out with a pitchfork. My boss is like that. When she starts in about her grandkids, my eyes want to roll so far up in my head I can see my brain. Ugh. Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) Haha. Are you "kidding" me? I am the best conversationalist ever. I am known for my ability to talk with just about anyone. I am as good with talking with a president as I am talking with a janitor and can find conversation topics with both where they will relate to me. I am extremely flexible. People who turn every single conversation to their kids are not I would argue that the OP isn't showing her self to be a good conversationalist. I understand the interest in the big picture but a derision of talking about kids, sport or activities etc make the conversation as one dimensional as those she is complaining about. Good conversationalists are engaging and they are flexible. Hence the ability to be curious, interested and be able to converse on a range of topics. Edited December 19, 2015 by edgygirl Link to post Share on other sites
LydiaLong Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Other people's children are the most boring things in the world. But it's nice to be polite and listen. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author edgygirl Posted December 19, 2015 Author Share Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) Either you have children or you're just really a pain in the arse. You sound more conceited than friendly to me. Maybe all your conversationnal skills are just a disguise for your true heartless personnality ? Edited December 19, 2015 by edgygirl Link to post Share on other sites
ufo8mycat Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 Haha. Are you "kidding" me? I am the best conversationalist ever. If you do say so yourself. You may not be perceptive as you think, and your sense of superiority is showing, whether you believe it or not. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted December 19, 2015 Share Posted December 19, 2015 (edited) Everyone is entitled to live their lives the way that suits them, but whether a guy wants kids or not, its a safe bet he is going to be heavily turned off by a woman who is bored, of, or despises kids... Something to ponder..... TFY Edited December 19, 2015 by thefooloftheyear Link to post Share on other sites
Eternal Sunshine Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Everyone is entitled to live their lives the way that suits them, but whether a guy wants kids or not, its a safe bet he is going to be heavily turned off by a woman who is bored, of, or despises kids... Something to ponder..... TFY Not true. I have a co-worker that doesn't have/want kids and he totally gets it. We often roll our eyes at each other when others talk about them. If he wasn't already married, I would date him in a second. As a childless person, I get a lot of s#$* from society about my choices. I don't care to hear about other people's kids. Deal with it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Everyone is entitled to live their lives the way that suits them, but whether a guy wants kids or not, its a safe bet he is going to be heavily turned off by a woman who is bored, of, or despises kids... Something to ponder..... TFY I think that's a ridiculous notion. Why would a man who doesn't want kids be turned off by a woman who finds kids boring? That sounds like ideal compatibility to me. Also, it's not as if all men just looooove children, regardless of whether or not they want them. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Not true. I have a co-worker that doesn't have/want kids and he totally gets it. We often roll our eyes at each other when others talk about them. If he wasn't already married, I would date him in a second. As a childless person, I get a lot of s#$* from society about my choices. I don't care to hear about other people's kids. Deal with it. I'd think you would have to have a larger sampling of "one guy in the office" to make the "not true" statement have some validity....And who knows why he's agreeing with you....He could as easily just be grooming you...but I dunno, so we'll give the benefit of the doubt.. But I'll stand by my statement....Take 50 guys off the street and give them your opinion on not just someone else's kids, but kids in general, and I'd guarantee they'd find that attitude hugely unappealing... I mean, no one is saying children are for everyone....We all know people in life that have chosen to not have kids....But those same people(at least the one's I know) that have chosen not to have kids, don't have the attitude where "I don't have/want kids, so that means they suck"....When you get that vibe(I get that from you and some of the others posting), then its a huge turnoff.. Just sayin' TFY Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 It is a huge turn off TO YOU, which is totally fine, but I hardly think it would be a problem for a HUGE number of men. You don't need to make it seem as if women who dislike kids need to have a red letter on their chests or something. How did this thread turn into a man v. women thing AGAIN? This has nothing to do with the OP. Link to post Share on other sites
thefooloftheyear Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I think that's a ridiculous notion. Why would a man who doesn't want kids be turned off by a woman who finds kids boring? That sounds like ideal compatibility to me. Also, it's not as if all men just looooove children, regardless of whether or not they want them. Think whatever you want....you aren't a guy.. And I find the(bolded) comment ridiculous...ALL guys I know love kids...In fact, Ive never, ever, in my entire lifetime heard a guy say the stuff about kids that is being said by some of the female posters on here...The guys I know that do have kids absolutely adore them... Then again, this is LS.... TFY Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Maybe they just keep it to themselves, who knows. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 My kids are great! 3 Link to post Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77 Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I have no kids, nor the inclination to have any if I'm honest with myself, but I love to hear my brother talk about my gorgeous little niece and what she's been up to. He's utterly besotted with her which, knowing my big bro, is quite a turn-up for the books. I really don't mind friends or colleagues talking about their kids - I actually quite enjoy it;you can tell a lot about what kind of people they are by how they describe them. Complete strangers spilling their parenting woes to total randomers in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket after a long day at work however, that's another story... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 Can people who don't have children also reply? I have a feeling people who have children would be biased towards this subject. I don't have children but if I like somebody even in a superficial way (like a work acquaintance) I am interested in their life. I don't know if I'll ever have kids but the way some parents are so invested in their kids lives is intriguing to me! Things that are different from the way I live my life are interesting to me. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Haydn Posted December 20, 2015 Share Posted December 20, 2015 I have no kids, nor the inclination to have any if I'm honest with myself, but I love to hear my brother talk about my gorgeous little niece and what she's been up to. He's utterly besotted with her which, knowing my big bro, is quite a turn-up for the books. I really don't mind friends or colleagues talking about their kids - I actually quite enjoy it;you can tell a lot about what kind of people they are by how they describe them. Complete strangers spilling their parenting woes to total randomers in the frozen food aisle of the supermarket after a long day at work however, that's another story... That was me...Sorry. But my complaints about frozen `Sprouts` Stand. But seriously i could bang on about my kids all day. They are still of the age where people break in to conversation with me about them. My youngest was today sitting in a shopping basket and an old girl asked me which aisle i found her on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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