Satu Posted September 29, 2015 Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm going to be very honest with you: "To you, the love of my life and my world" = this speaks of an unhealthy attachment. Nobody should ever have to try to be 'your world.' "i told you all my problems you knew all my situations, how i use to struggle, coming up with a dead beat dad and struggling a lot in my life." = girlfriends and counsellors should be different people. "3 months ago you said you didn't love me no more. i was broken and shattered because you were truly all i had." = life isn't ever about just one person. Life isn't meant to be about just one person. Cultivate other healthy relationships. "the woman of my dreams and the only person i openned up to." = as above. You need to open up to other people and cultivate other healthy relationships. Its obvious that you have dependency issues, that would best be addressed in counselling, rather than in a relationship. Get some good therapy and cultivate emotional independence. I hope I haven't been too blunt, but I think my points are valid. Take care. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 29, 2015 Author Share Posted September 29, 2015 I'm going to be very honest with you: "To you, the love of my life and my world" = this speaks of an unhealthy attachment. Nobody should ever have to try to be 'your world.' "i told you all my problems you knew all my situations, how i use to struggle, coming up with a dead beat dad and struggling a lot in my life." = girlfriends and counsellors should be different people. "3 months ago you said you didn't love me no more. i was broken and shattered because you were truly all i had." = life isn't ever about just one person. Life isn't meant to be about just one person. Cultivate other healthy relationships. "the woman of my dreams and the only person i openned up to." = as above. You need to open up to other people and cultivate other healthy relationships. Its obvious that you have dependency issues, that would best be addressed in counselling, rather than in a relationship. Get some good therapy and cultivate emotional independence. I hope I haven't been too blunt, but I think my points are valid. Take care. Truth be told im not like the way i was. these are just some of the things i never said and i dont want to break N.C and makes no sense telling her. i just placed it here because everyone here is so helpful. im totally diff now, i look after myself, i face my problems alone and overcome, and even though i miss her, she left me and she just decided she didnt want me in her life no more. i cant do anything about that n i choose to move on and be happy nevertheless. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 I just woke up. dreamt her again. the dreams man and this girl is always on my mind in the morning. haunys me everytime i get up. Im so messed up right now i dont know if im not thinkinh clearly. i feel as if i need to break .N.C to help me with some closure. do i? i mean best friends and lovers for 3 years. seeing and being with each other everyday for 2 years. can she really just drop all that? last time i called was 2 weeks ago. i broke 2 weeks of n.c and well she said she might text or call.she didnt i called back with no answer then i called the other day same thing no answer. So what do i do. if i call i would be breaking 2 weeks of N.C again. im just messed up, need some advice. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I just woke up. dreamt her again. the dreams man and this girl is always on my mind in the morning. haunys me everytime i get up. Im so messed up right now i dont know if im not thinkinh clearly. i feel as if i need to break .N.C to help me with some closure. do i? i mean best friends and lovers for 3 years. seeing and being with each other everyday for 2 years. can she really just drop all that? last time i called was 2 weeks ago. i broke 2 weeks of n.c and well she said she might text or call.she didnt i called back with no answer then i called the other day same thing no answer. So what do i do. if i call i would be breaking 2 weeks of N.C again. im just messed up, need some advice. Dont even think about breaking NC. She might text or call.....lol this makes me sick... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 OH yeah and i even messaged her and told her i just wanted us to talk but idk if thats gonna happn, take care. well nothing from her since then no call no message. Link to post Share on other sites
sbk24 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 No do not break NC. I have nightmares too and I am actually scared of going to sleep. Worse is always in the morning and at night. However, you have to understand things will get better. Every morning you really have to force yourself to get out of bed and just jump in the shower or make yourself a hot drink. Dwelling in bed makes your mind wonder. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 OH yeah and i even messaged her and told her i just wanted us to talk but idk if thats gonna happn, take care. well nothing from her since then no call no message. Dont let this happen again........ Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 Dont let this happen again........ I sent that the day after we talked. she was ignoring my calls i guess. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Is this a new type of NC, where you keep in contact? NC means NC. No Contact. Do not contact her. It will put you back to square 1 every time you do. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 why do i have this feeling that i need closure from her guys? she said stuff that made me wonder if we still had sumn but then again she said she didnt want us and she didnt love me. am i still clinging on these 3 years so hard. i mean we had alot to look for coming up like sex and meeting her parents n stuff. getting serious you know but now she left me its all gone. i dont know why i feel this way. after i was put aside this year. cant believe i was so stupid. never put 1 and 1 together. she never asked to see me or want to spend time wih me. how could i be that dumb. if someone doesnt want that how can they possibly want you. wish i wasnt so blinded by the soon to come i wasnt realising what was hapenning. Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 There’s no such thing as relationship closure. Most of us set out to seek closure from the fields of the past, because we tend to confuse closure with having the last word, getting definitive answers as to what went wrong, the desire for sketching a beginning, middle, and an end, or simply feeling better by knowing that the ex still misses them or regrets the fallout Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 I just never thought shed be like this. she was never that type of girl. now when i truly believed i was her everything like she was mine, im nothing but a memory to her. i thought we really did love each other. well one of us did. idk what she felt Link to post Share on other sites
David87 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Don't worry things will get better friend:) Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 30, 2015 Author Share Posted September 30, 2015 Don't worry things will get better friend:) thank you .. have a great day man Link to post Share on other sites
Draper Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 Yeah, mornings suck ass. I got punched with the morning blues as well, likely a result of dreaming about things being differently. No breaking NC though, it's not worth it! Link to post Share on other sites
Shock148 Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 I just woke up. dreamt her again. the dreams man and this girl is always on my mind in the morning. haunys me everytime i get up. Im so messed up right now i dont know if im not thinkinh clearly. i feel as if i need to break .N.C to help me with some closure. do i? i mean best friends and lovers for 3 years. seeing and being with each other everyday for 2 years. can she really just drop all that? last time i called was 2 weeks ago. i broke 2 weeks of n.c and well she said she might text or call.she didnt i called back with no answer then i called the other day same thing no answer. So what do i do. if i call i would be breaking 2 weeks of N.C again. im just messed up, need some advice. NC is one of the hardest things people can do but it is necessary. Look at your last sentence. You contacted her and she said she MIGHT call or text you and never did. Ok, you text her again nothing. You texted her one last time and still nada. It's over man you just need to do the best of your will power to just NC her and try to move on. Block her number and on social media. Make it so that you can't contact her even if you are dying to. If you have her number memorized then do anything possible to forget it. What I did was tried to remember numbers of other people and when my ex number would enter my mind I would completely shut it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Blanco Posted September 30, 2015 Share Posted September 30, 2015 You cannot find comfort in the same thing that is hurting you. It sounds weird, but you will get to a place where not hearing from your ex feels normal. I was with or talked to my ex nearly every day for three years. Now, I go WEEKS without any interaction with her whatsoever. It's just the natural progression from being in a relationship with someone to leading your own SEPARATE lives. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 its time to accept everything. i already did but its the time where i cant look back. i need to accept that shes gone, she left me and after all the talking, all the mixed signals, i believe she just wants different things. shes young and my expectations were too high, maybe unrealistic as well. i do believe that time we spent was special and she did love me, but i cant continue fooling myself, nor defend her as well. she did leave me, she did it a bit easily, and she gave up on us never wanting to try again or later. i been in N.C and broke it. I did what everyone told me not to do, i messaged you for your birthday. and i had a good cry three days in a row. but what can i do. all my life its been me, all me. maybe i need to adjust back to that. i had it hard, i lost alot of people growing up, the people that were close to me, i still am. but the hardest was losing you. i had a tough life, never had everything but just enough. kinda dysfunctional family, a father whos there but not a father, just a guy i dont really know, just an abusive guy who only curses me and brings me down everyday. my education went down the drain, now i have to start all over. im in a job i hate, doesnt even pay well. It seems like im stuck in this hole, and the only person there for me giving a hand is the guy i see in the mirror. he's the guy thats been there for me all my life. AND GOD IS THE GREATEST,he has always taken care of me. The guy in the mirror, he is the only person to ever wipe my tears, to hold me when all hope was lost and to just be there when no one else was. i dont have alot of close friends, just my ex. now shes gone. im at one of the roughest patch of my life that i have ever been in, but i wil make it. will take a while but i will. idk if my ex thinks of me, if she misses me as much as i miss her, or if she still loves me. i thought we were special, i felt as if i knew her all my life, like we grew up together. 3 years relationship went by so fast, we were so close and so into each other. but things change, she met new people and she did changed, now shes meeting new people again. shes up in university now im happy for her. i hope she does really well. she'll make alot of new friends, shes really beautiful so guys gonna flaunt. I cant say i dont want her back, because i do. its truly been a while now, bout five months since it got shaky and a month since official break up. i wish there was something i could do, i tried to keep her, but whatever we had is gone, and only she can bring that back. i want to call, i want to text, but theres nothing there for me. whatever happens with us now will be her choice. i have to close that door, the memories and everything, its time to lock it all away. maybe i will open if she knocks, but i cant say i really will. she left me for other things, she didnt really wanna spend time with me and thats it. shes gone. i have to pick myself up and do what i do best. and thats be there for myself, be my own motivation, my own inspiration, my own passion. i thought i had a girl whod always be there for me, whod fight for me and and stay with me. i would love what i had with her back, she is amazing, everything i ever wanted. i dont know what the future holds, i just know that my story doesnt end here. i am in the storm, i grew up with the storm though, and i shall face it till the end. Thanks for reading guys. take care 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phinsider Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Good read...helps me out in my tough situation with my ex...im trying so hard not to just call and txt her,but i cant give up. she told me she needed space and time and i have to respect that. Everything u typed is very parallel to my own life and situation. Stay strong bro. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 Good read...helps me out in my tough situation with my ex...im trying so hard not to just call and txt her,but i cant give up. she told me she needed space and time and i have to respect that. Everything u typed is very parallel to my own life and situation. Stay strong bro. You will overcome bro ..im glad i could help. Link to post Share on other sites
singme2sleep Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 all my life its been me, all me. maybe i need to adjust back to that. i had it hard, i lost alot of people growing up, the people that were close to me, i still am. but the hardest was losing you. i had a tough life, never had everything but just enough. kinda dysfunctional family, a father whos there but not a father, just a guy i dont really know, just an abusive guy who only curses me and brings me down everyday. my education went down the drain, now i have to start all over. im in a job i hate, doesnt even pay well. It seems like im stuck in this hole, and the only person there for me giving a hand is the guy i see in the mirror. he's the guy thats been there for me all my life. AND GOD IS THE GREATEST,he has always taken care of me. You sound a lot like my ex, especially the dad stuff. Only difference is that he wouldn't let me help/be there for him. It's been hard not to talk to him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 You sound a lot like my ex, especially the dad stuff. Only difference is that he wouldn't let me help/be there for him. It's been hard not to talk to him. My ex was wonderful. she was there for me alot, especially the first 2 years. we had a college relationship, and when school finished and we couldnt see each other much she didnt really show much interest, and things were gonna get better because we were gonna see each other alot as of last september. people just change. thats all to it. Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 Folks, moderation merged three threads on a similar topic for context; please continue the discussion on the topic in this existing thread. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
GettingOverItDay2Day Posted October 6, 2015 Share Posted October 6, 2015 I cant add much more that already hasnt been said by others One piece of advice I will give you is that you are just in the beginnings of your adult life Trust me when I say that 21 is nothing in life and you have a lot of happy years ahead of you...but only If YOU choose to make those years happy by yourself! There are many many things that you have yet to experience in life and I 100% guarantee that you WILL meet someone else in time who will replace this girl and make you feel much happier than you can have ever imagined Firstly If I was in your shoes I would concentrate on yourself...Hit the gym and workout, not only will it improve your mood in the short term but it will also improve your physique and in time make you attractive to the opposite sex to the point that girls will want to date you and make you forget about the one you currently pine over Keep your chin up buddy and start experiencing life...In your case it has just really started!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted October 6, 2015 Author Share Posted October 6, 2015 I cant add much more that already hasnt been said by others One piece of advice I will give you is that you are just in the beginnings of your adult life Trust me when I say that 21 is nothing in life and you have a lot of happy years ahead of you...but only If YOU choose to make those years happy by yourself! There are many many things that you have yet to experience in life and I 100% guarantee that you WILL meet someone else in time who will replace this girl and make you feel much happier than you can have ever imagined Firstly If I was in your shoes I would concentrate on yourself...Hit the gym and workout, not only will it improve your mood in the short term but it will also improve your physique and in time make you attractive to the opposite sex to the point that girls will want to date you and make you forget about the one you currently pine over Keep your chin up buddy and start experiencing life...In your case it has just really started!! I will man. i just find it dfficult because we were so close and in love. now shes moved on in life without me and just forgot me, when i thought we had something and actually be together. guess its another lesson in life. Link to post Share on other sites
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