Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 19, 2015 Author Share Posted September 19, 2015 My ex dumped me a while now. how did she do it so easily i dont know. we shared a relationship for years now she juse drops me like i never existed? like we never had nothing. And i didnt give her S*** after the break up. how can she just be so normal after all the things we did. after years of i love yous and i will always love you and all that. after planning our future out and having so much to look forward to. just leave me like that and never looked back, never even thought twice to make things work. how can people we love so much and thought that they loved us so much be so heartless.. she blocked me on social media and im glad she did, but she always checks my fb and whats app and stuff. i wanted to put a status there for her to see.. something like this. So after all these years and all the i love yous and i will always love you, you just leave me like that? after we planned our lives together, after we were so serious. you said you wanted me and us and u promised and were so sure. now you just left me like im nothing, like what we had was nothing.. something along those lines. she got off really easy and thats wrong i think. she should feel some hurt and some guilt for doing this to me. what you say my friends. do this??? or stick to my N.C and let her eat my silence for the rest of her life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ByMyself01 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 It's because they already got over the grieving process long before they called it off. Meaning they have already checked out of the relationship emotionally so when the end finally comes, they are a step ahead of you emotionally so now it's your turn to grieve Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 It's also not heartless, when you look back. Being strung along with no end is in fact more heartless then a clean break. Link to post Share on other sites
NVO Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Not all dumpers are heartless. In fact, I think a dumper can be hurt too due to a break-up. Finding out you are not compatible with someone you love isn't fun for anyone. And just as dumpees use NC to protect themselves, some dumpers use cold behaviour to protect themselves from exes who want them back. You are very angry at the moment, and that's completely normal because you are hurt. Just stay NC for the time being, until you are cooled off and can think with a clear mind. That time will come, just keep moving forward. Or as The Streets say: 'Dry your eyes mate, I know you want to make her see how much this pain hurts, but you've got to walk away now. It's over.' Link to post Share on other sites
pidgeon1010 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 Sorry you're going through the emotions. Unfortunately breakups happen and let me tell you- it's much easier for the dumper to disappear than continue to feed you breadcrumbs so you get your hopes up. It's cold but it provides you with the impetus to move on, hopefully. How do you know she checks your Facebook and whatsapp? Didn't know you could track who views those social media accounts. Link to post Share on other sites
Meli22 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 You don't know how she's feeling. I cut my ex off like he never existed and I was a mess for a long time. As far as he was concerned I could have been fine. If he'd have looked at my social media at those times, my life was amazing Link to post Share on other sites
mightycpa Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 She's doing you a favor, because you understand the message clearly. Had she been hanging around, and crying, and now texting you all the time, and going hot and cold on you, you'd be out of your mind with confusion. The only trouble you have now is that you don't want to believe this is true, or maybe that you have no idea how things can change so quickly. Things do change, all the time, and I'm confident they were changing right in front of your nose. You just didn't get the memo until the bitter end. All you can do now is wish her well, and walk away in another direction. You'll get there. Link to post Share on other sites
jasxo Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I know how you feel but don't do the status... If she is as cold towards you as she seems, it won't affect her or make her regret her decision one bit. The best "revenge" is to forget about her and live a good life. Hugs Link to post Share on other sites
Samuel_22 Posted September 19, 2015 Share Posted September 19, 2015 I know how you feel but don't do the status... If she is as cold towards you as she seems, it won't affect her or make her regret her decision one bit. The best "revenge" is to forget about her and live a good life. Hugs They are heartless beasts...they are not even human beings, human beings have emotions, human beings cry even when their dog dies, human beings cry when the neighbor weeps in the night, human beings show sympathy for even a character in a movie, or a video game...human beings are human beings...guess what our exes were not human beings they were beasts...dirty animals, selfish voracious beasts man...forget about what they tell you...they have grieved long before you, not all dumpers are heartless... that's BS.... good news is that...they won't survive long...whoever breaks a heart ends up being heart broken... Only love can take your revenge... and believe me it will... sooner or later, karma never stops.... just be strong, forget about the status thing...remember emotions are for human beings, so that wont affect your ex at all... that just boosts their nasty ego...they feel good about themselves... move on, be strong...this will soon end on your end...and then they have to pay for their nasty karma....Grieve as much as you can, had I known grieving makes me this strong, I would never have suppressed it, in the beginning...we will heal, we will grow, we will become stronger and stronger... and then they have to live with their tears...and only then will they understand... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 22, 2015 Author Share Posted September 22, 2015 (edited) Some days man, there just horrible.. i mean being all alone and knowing that the person you loved so much who said they will always be there for you just leave.. they just leave you and you have nothing. i cry alot sometimes. just cant help it ..i try my best to move on and stop thinking bout her but knowing how we were and the things we had planned for our future. and she just left it all and me. im in pieces and i only have myself to pick them up. she left me when things were going so horrible with me, my job , my school. i was lost in life and the one person i needed to be there for me walked out. shes got everything going now for her, shes in university a whole new experience with alot of new interesing people. and im just here all alone lol. she never tried with me and that made me feel as if im not worth fighting for. the girl of my dreams the love of my life, never talked to me when she had problems. for over 5 months never said she wanted to see me after we spent 2 years together seeing each other so much. how she could put that all behind her i will never know. and even tho ugh i have some hope, i dont think shes coming back to make things right with me. so now i have to be strong for myself, and its so damn hard Edited September 22, 2015 by marcusdevilliers Link to post Share on other sites
Sean Yaho Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 I know the feeling all too well. If you're anything like me the simple thought of moving on makes you sick and being resilient seems impossible. I won't sit here and tell you "It gets easier with time." Because to be honest with you this type of thinking won't get any easier any time soon. You're lowering your self confidence by thinking she's in a better place because of this and that. If she's a smart girl she'd be in a better place regardless, and I'm sure she is. It's hard, but you need to realize how great of a person you are instead of reflecting on the past in such a negative way. When an Entrepreneur fails they reflect, adjust, and use their experiences to better themselves next time. Or they fail and give up only to regret it again and again. If you're anything like me... all this motivation won't help. You need to reflect on what happened and reflect on your life now. Stop focusing on where she is and start focusing on where you are. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Its so hard.....but then it gets less hard, and one day you'll wake up and wonder "**** when was the last time I even thought about my ex" Trust me, been there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 It is tough. Especially if she was your 1st love, it's even harder. But you will survive. It's OK to take time to grieve & mourn your loss. However, at some point that has to end & you need to take hold of your life. If you haven't already, pack up all her stuff, the things she gave you, the momentos etc. Put them all away. Put all the digital pictures on a thumb drive or in a folder in the cloud. Out of sight, out of mind. Now focus on what's going on with you. You have a lot more free time on your hands. Can you work overtime? Can you study harder? I mention both because you said you were struggling in those areas. You will get through this. Surround yourself with positive people. Take care of yourself. Get some exercise. Engage in a hobby. Hang in there 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 you need to have your mind on other thing(s) ( as the other have mentioned ). it will get better in time ( but you need to the time to grieve at what has happened, part of the healing process, dislike to say ). it wont be easy, but you ll be stronger after this ... sounds like that you need some hobbies, involve yourself in the community, or get a pet ( trust me, they ll show you all the love you need =0) ) just take it a day at a time and occupy yourself constructively in a positive direction ( mine was puzzles ) ... Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 thanks guys. truth is she was all i had and she left just left without talking to me about it or trying to work it out. she left me .. i will be strong tho, i have to be strong for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
K2z Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 I feel you. One of the devious tricks I am able to play on myself is to pretend she wasn't the core of my life, when in fact she was. Then when she disappears, I collapse. I'm in a parallel situation to you. Every day is an act, for the time being. And I drink too much. I've begun speaking to a professional. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 Some days im so lonely guys. how do you get pass this stage. im by myself at nights and some days. you cant always keep yourself occupied even if you try. im lonely at nights and some days the mood just kicks in that the person you wanted to spend your life with has left you all alone and is not coming back.. i just dont know what to do sometimes. Link to post Share on other sites
Liono84 Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hang in there. I know what you're going through. It's not easy and it's not going to go away in an instant. Yes, mornings and nights are without question, the most difficult times because your mind is not pre-occupied with work, school, or errands. It's when we're idle, that our minds drift, and this is when we can fall into living in the past and thinking about our ex's. You get past this stage only through time. It will get better. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Draper Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Hey - I know how you feel and how lonely and desperate it can get when your by yourself, but remember that we're here. We're here for you. Trust me my friend, I lay in bed every night and wish that when I wake up, she'll be beside me. She won't be though, and we need to learn how be content with that. We need to learn how to be happy without them. Im going to steal some words from PaperCrane here, but it's almost like you have to relearn how to live. You're so used to having them there that it's almost like kicking an addiction. Actually, it's exactly like kicking an addiction. Your body and mind are so used to having this person around for comfort and security, then all the sudden it's gone. Your brain expects one thing but it doesn't get it from reality. It takes time for it to re-adjust to this new life. Emotionally, this is one of the hardest things you can go through. You have to be strong, and one day you'll be able to look back and be proud of how you handled it. It's a new beginning. It sucks, it really does, but what can you do about it? Nothing. You have to go forward, walk out of this thing as a better person. I know it's hard as hell when your alone, you just have to do what you can to stay busy. I am sorry you're going through this - I am too, along with tons of others on this website. We're here for you. We'll get through this together. Stay strong, friend. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 23, 2015 Author Share Posted September 23, 2015 I feel you. One of the devious tricks I am able to play on myself is to pretend she wasn't the core of my life, when in fact she was. Then when she disappears, I collapse. I'm in a parallel situation to you. Every day is an act, for the time being. And I drink too much. I've begun speaking to a professional. I know man. sometimes getting drunk makes sleeping easier, i drink a whole lot, just to ride out whats happening right now. i hope it all ends soon. Link to post Share on other sites
NVO Posted September 23, 2015 Share Posted September 23, 2015 Keep going buddy, you'll get there! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Marcus, be strong man, sorry to hear what you are going through. we know it not easy and pleasant the situation you are in, but it is part of healing. The way you feel is normal. Healing is not easy. I am telling you for me it is over a year now, but I am making baby steps in healing. It take some time. Try to make friends, go out and make new connection. It does not mean dating but spend time with others. Also can you find someone you can talk to? in person? just to vent? Someone who can listen? Sometimes it help. I know you loved her and you still do. However, the person who left you without a good bye, without explanation is not worth to keep. You deserve better, even if by a miracle she is back, don,t take her back. She is not trustworthy, she is not loyal. I hope you will find a good person sometimes soon. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Seth0194 Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 It can be very hard as you said nights are always hard, especially when the person you were with was with you every night. As some said, work out, find a new series on Netflix, read a book, start playing video games, etc. They help, but only time fixes it and the weight your heart carries will lift eventually. It is different for us all, some fall into depression and spend months sometimes years getting over an ex. While others are fine in a few days to a few weeks. Take care of yourself, get plenty of rest and keep going. Relearn how to live and that is what you do, just without the person who ment so much to you. Best of luck, remember we are here for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author marcusdevilliers Posted September 24, 2015 Author Share Posted September 24, 2015 So guys the ex birthday is next week. She left me because she just wanted different things, well that's what she said after all the long talk and promises, you guys know the ily and always will. We planned our lives together and we were serious even though we were young. We are both 21 now and we were together for three years. The last time I talked to her was a week ago, I broke 2 weeks of N.C and I called her. We talked for like 3 mins, I told her I missed her and hope we could talk sometime. She said she had class and we will have to talk later, or she might message me later. I called later and she didn't answer, I called the other day and she didn't answer. So that was the last time their was any contact. So what do you guys think. Do I message her for her birthday? The reason I'm asking is because we were so close and best friends. But she left me nonetheless. So what do I do?? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 24, 2015 Share Posted September 24, 2015 Absolutely no. Do not send birthday greetings. Keep yourself busy. She is no longer part of your life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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