Do You See What I See?

[HurtHusband]

If you own the house and dont have kids with her..than just be done with her.. Put her into the folder marked 'garbage' like you would on your desktop.

 

Tell her it's thanksgiving and you want to spend time with your family and she can go and stay with her OM. You can mail her bags to her or send her the divorce paper later. That's it , done! Don't get drawn into any conversation with her because there is nothing to talk about. She screwed someone else and called you a fool! If that's what she thinks of you than why the hell is she with you??

 

 

Tell her 'Yes honey, I am a fool, for putting up with your cheating lieing behavior, now here's your bikini and beach ball and get the £%#^ out of my house.

[66Charger]

She is here, meant she is at the house to pick up some things. He stated that she would do this at this time and he would have his brother and a VAR handy.

 

I have a feeling there wont be a lot of tears. She may be okay with the divorce. They have no children. This may turn again. Strange that she has made little effort to fix anything.

[CarrieT]

well here we go guys - she's here

 

We are here for you after the hurricane runs through... <hugs>

[Hero]

well it's done, I think my marriage is officially over guys

she packed a bag and left, will post more later on what happened

 

taking my dog for a walk

[Qboro90]

well it's done, I think my marriage is officially over guys

she packed a bag and left, will post more later on what happened

 

taking my dog for a walk

 

Hang in there, I'm sure it was tough but it's done with now and at least you have the finality in which you can start to let settle in. Just know that it was never anything you did or didn't do. Even if she was unhappy for a while and you had no idea... She could've taken the right approach and talked to you about it, let you address and work with her as a couple to try and overcome. Then if that didn't work, separate and move on.

 

Cheating on you and forcing you to find out this way.... Completely on her and something she brought on herself.

[Qboro90]

well it's done, I think my marriage is officially over guys

she packed a bag and left, will post more later on what happened

 

taking my dog for a walk

 

Hang in there, I'm sure it was tough but it's done with now and at least you have the finality in which you can start to let settle in. Just know that it was never anything you did or didn't do. Even if she was unhappy for a while and you had no idea... She could've taken the right approach and talked to you about it, let you address and work with her as a couple to try and overcome. Then if that didn't work, separate and move on.

 

Cheating on you and forcing you to find out this way.... Completely on her and something she brought on herself.

[StBreton]

well it's done, I think my marriage is officially over guys

she packed a bag and left, will post more later on what happened

 

taking my dog for a walk

 

I'm so sorry Hero

 

My pups meant the world to me during my whole ordeal.

[Grumpybutfun]

This moment forward is yours....each day...each moment...look forward...never backward.

G

[kgcolonel]

Hero

 

Maybe you and your brother could make use of that tequila you started?? Just a good bonding time for you two. Have one on me as well!

[Friskyone4u]

Hero,

 

Take care of the dog buddy. He is more important than your wife and more loyal.

 

Don't dwell on what she said or did when she was there. Focus on your attorney getting the papers signed and her out of your life. You will be fine.

 

You have a good job, you have a loyal dog, and you don't have a lying cheating wife deceiving you and betraying you. And you can thank yourself for being intelligent enough not to run away from the advice you were getting, which was not what you originally wanted to hear.

 

I d send the OM a thank you for being so stupid and saving you the money of hiring a PI. He provided you with all the truth you needed.

 

Remember, this is a big emotional thing and it will take some time. But you are lucky you do not have three little toddlers to worry about on top of all this other crap.

 

Stay strong, rely on your family, and make like a NASCAR . Only forward away from her at one speed- FAST

[aliveagain]

Hero, at least you won't spend years wondering what is really going on, you know where you stand. You have the proof you need to end the deception. There are things far worse than divorce, sharing your wife with other men is one of them. Now you know why you weren't getting laid for the last three months, get tested, they always lie about using protection.

[drifter777]

Choosing a course of action and following it is therapy all by itself. Your family isn't going to be there forever so I urge you to find a counselor to help guide you forward.

 

As painful as it seems a clean break is the fastest road to healing. Stay strong and stay on track.

[happyman64]

I remember the pain Hero. It sucks.

 

 

Why would the person I love, trusted do me this way....

 

 

Why would the person I love, trust and respected; disrespect me in such a way.

 

 

There is no truly "good" answer.

 

 

But I realized the person that I was partnered with was broken. Was very unhappy with herself and very selfish that I no longer factored into any of her equations.

 

 

I think you are beginning to see you are not factored into any of your wife's equations.

 

 

We call this type of woman a WAW. Walk Away Wife.

 

 

You cannot control her or her actions. All you can do is wish her well and say goodbye.

 

 

She will not truly feel the consequences for her bad decisions until you are completely out of the picture. It sucks but it is true.

 

 

Let family comfort you.

 

 

I assure you it gets better. I also can assure that there are great woman out there. I found one. Dated her for 7 years just to "vet" (I had a few trust issues then. ) her thoroughly.

 

 

So cleanup this mess at your own pace. Let the emotions calm for you.

 

 

Then make the tough decisions when your head is in the right place.

 

 

I'll leave with a favorite poem:

 

 

"Yet each man kills the thing he loves

By each let this be heard

Some do it with a bitter look

Some with a flattering word

The coward does it with a kiss

The brave man with a sword"

 

 

HM

[fellini]

"Yet each man kills the thing he loves

By each let this be heard

Some do it with a bitter look

Some with a flattering word

The coward does it with a kiss

The brave man with a sword"

 

 

HM

 

A poem about a man who kills his wife in bed? :-(

[happyman64]

Keep reading it over & over.

 

 

You'll get it. Don't think of it literally.

[Buckeye2]

We went from 4-5 times a week to 2-3 times a month and in the past 3 months, nothing.

 

If she ever says she loves you and wants to get back together remind her that she was faithful to her OM for the last three months.

[fellini]

Keep reading it over & over.

 

 

You'll get it. Don't think of it literally.

 

Sorry but you are talking to someone who is a literary scholar. I do get it, I have read Oscar Wilde, and he is was being very literal.

 

In fact, one of his most famous quotes is

 

“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible....”

[StBreton]

Sorry but you are talking to someone who is a literary scholar. I do get it, I have read Oscar Wilde, and he is was being very literal.

 

In fact, one of his most famous quotes is

 

“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible....”

 

True but in HM's defense ...Wilde wrote the poem about a fellow prisoner who was in for murdering his wife ...Wilde, who felt there were many ways to "kill" your lover, thought each is equally guilty ...no matter the weapon.

[happyman64]

Sorry but you are talking to someone who is a literary scholar. I do get it, I have read Oscar Wilde, and he is was being very literal.

 

In fact, one of his most famous quotes is

 

“It is only shallow people who do not judge by appearances. The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible....”

 

Good for you.

 

Now read it again and have a great thanksgiving.

[StBreton]

Good for you.

 

Now read it again and have a great thanksgiving.

 

I understand HM ... one who is hurt by someone they love and truste can feel emotionally mortally wounded ... the pain is just as deep as if a sword was driven in one's heart.

[merrmeade]

. A few months later I decide to drive downtown and surprise her for lunch. I had about 45 minutes to kill so I decided to stop at a bar and grill across from her job, I go inside and there's my wife sitting across a table in a booth, laughing and drinking with some guy. So I go over, of course she's looks shocked, introduces me and says he's one of her co-workers and they were just having a drink for lunch and needed to get back to the office. Told her I was there to take her to lunch, she apologized, said she couldn't and that I should of let her know I was coming. I was a little upset driving all that way but she didn't know I was coming so I didn't read too much into it.

Deja vu. LS always does this. I'm taken back decades to walking into a coffee shop on campus where my husband is having a snack with a woman. The look on his face... But he introduces us and I go back to work and he supposedly goes back to class (grad school) which he never leaves to have lunch with me.

 

When he confessed their affair three years ago and decades after it happened , he recounted this incident in living detail.

 

That was the first of his five affairs. You were saved.

Edited November 25, 2015 by merrmeade

[Hero]

so she came clean, but apparently this is all my fault

according to her, I spend too much time with my face in a computer screen

I took no interest in her job, never got jealous when she went out with co-workers

love my dog more than her, make decisions too quickly, like asking for a divorce

too caught up in my appearance and stuck on myself ( she's the fitness freak )

 

and my personal favorite, I pushed her into another man's arms

because I wasn't giving her enough attention

 

Oh and BTW: The bad mouthing me and calling me a fool was just a stupid little game they played,

I just blew it all out of context, after all they were just dumb words. silly me

 

and now I'm supposed to call her when I come to my senses

yes, she REALLY did say that

 

I almost lost it a couple of times, but I stayed calm the entire time.

 

I'll have to let you guys know how I responded to all this later

my son just got here with his wife and we have boxes of food and goodies to unpack

need to clean up the kitchen and start cooking for tomorrow

 

Have a Have Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

 

BTW: HERO is my dogs name and he barked at her the whole time she was here

he's never done that before, I had to end up putting him in the garage

he only barks at people he doesn't no -

I gave him a treat after it was over - patted him on the head and told him good dog, good dog

[kgcolonel]

She could not be more obvious.....it's like she is reading from the script for Wayward Spouses....lol.

 

I see no remorse, regret other anything else other than entitlement.....

 

I have always wondered if dogs really can tell a persons character????

[aliveagain]

Let your lawyer respond to her, change your banking, credit cards, stop supporting her affair. Have her served at work so her boyfriend and everyone else can see her get her reward.

[gaumab1]

This is straight from the cheaters handbook. Classic blame shifting. Why do all cheaters follow the same script? You should have told her that you are responsible for 50 percent of the relationship, but she is 100 percent responsible for the affair.