Author logan415 Posted November 25, 2015 Author Share Posted November 25, 2015 As a white woman, I find brown guys to be very attractive. My ex was from India, and during the summers he gets really dark. And really, San Francisco? If you said "I'm living in Wichita and have a problem," then OK I'd be more inclined to agree with you. I agree with what a lot of other people have said—you're gonna have to get the momentum started by approaching some women and getting some replies. Re-open that OKC account—you really think you're going to say hi to women IRL? No, online is easier for this, you can't see their faces. First, are your pictures good? Are they sharp and unblurried and show you at your best? What about your descriptions? You've gotta get the basics down first. When you see a woman you like, pick something out of her profile and comment on it—Oh, you like Kung Fu movies, too? What's your favorite? I've been to Thailand, too, when were you there? This is not a 50-page manual; this is small talk, but it gets the ball rolling and builds connection. When I did OLD, I would look at the profiles of the guys who'd checked me out, and if they seemed interesting and hadn't messaged me, I'd go ahead and strike things up with them. But women need to see that you've looked at their profiles. OLD is like everything else, you get out what you put in. That takes some time and some effort. Just creating a profile and not using it to interact is not going to get you anywhere. You've got to make yourself visible. Skin bleaching, plastic surgery nor escorts are your solutions. You know what is? Practice. Go ahead and suck at it for a while. I didn't date until I was in my 30s either, but once I got into the swing of things it was fun. Start to get a couple of wins under your belt, your confidence will rise, and you'll begin to feel better about things. Problem is some women only post a picture and no written profile, so it makes it difficult discuss anything. I guess my fear is making myself look like a jackass if I were to get rejected. I still remember when I had interest in this girl when I was in high school she was like ewww no. So since then I never tried again since I apparently must be disgusting. This is one the reasons why I would rather be approached than me doing the approaching. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Problem is some women only post a picture and no written profile, so it makes it difficult discuss anything. I guess my fear is making myself look like a jackass if I were to get rejected. I still remember when I had interest in this girl when I was in high school she was like ewww no. So since then I never tried again since I apparently must be disgusting. This is one the reasons why I would rather be approached than me doing the approaching. I understand what you mean. I weighed 300 pounds when I was in high school. To the group of guys who teased me everyday, sex with me was the punchline of a joke, not something they'd ever consider. Even after I lost the weight, I carried "eww, no" around with me, too. When I began OLD, I didn't think I would get any attention. I certainly wasn't inundated with messages, but slowly, as I used the site and interacted with people on it, I began to realize that, despite the negative comments I'd received as a young person, and despite the fact that I wasn't thin and conventionally attractive, there were still men out there who did want to meet me. There will probably never be a time where I won't feel like I can't lose more weight. There is also a part of me that will always be skeptical of the attention I do receive from men because it was drilled into me so early on just how unattractive I supposedly am. "Eww, no" is a hard perception of oneself to let go of. It's a life-long process, but if you want to move forward, you're going to have to push past the fear of "they're not going to like me," because chances are, if you legitimately tried, you'd find interested people. But that's the thing, you have to try. We all have our obstacles, we all have our challenges, we all have things we need to overcome. If a woman doesn't have text, find a profile that does. You can't tell me all the profiles you like are devoid of text, that's impossible. Link to post Share on other sites
BronzeAgeJaeger217 Posted November 25, 2015 Share Posted November 25, 2015 Men are lucky in that even less attractive men can get women, even very good-looking women, provided they have confidence and the qualities of personality that women are drawn to. Not all less attractive men who get women are rich, either. Some of them just have great confidence and swagger. For women, our primary currency in the romantic realm is our looks. Not so for men. Looks always help, sure, but they're less essential for men than for women. Are you sure about that? Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan415 Posted December 9, 2015 Author Share Posted December 9, 2015 I have some news I want to share. I met a woman online and seem to have some things in common. However, she is not in the USA. She lives in Eastern Europe and she speaks good English. I guess I will have to take a trip to her country and see how it goes. I have heard American men dating women from another country. Link to post Share on other sites
TheTraveler Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I have some news I want to share. I met a woman online and seem to have some things in common. However, she is not in the USA. She lives in Eastern Europe and she speaks good English. I guess I will have to take a trip to her country and see how it goes. I have heard American men dating women from another country. GL and go get her! Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted December 9, 2015 Share Posted December 9, 2015 I have some news I want to share. I met a woman online and seem to have some things in common. However, she is not in the USA. She lives in Eastern Europe and she speaks good English. I guess I will have to take a trip to her country and see how it goes. I have heard American men dating women from another country. You might want to make sure this person is actually who she says she is before going all the way to meet her. Video chat is a good idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan415 Posted December 10, 2015 Author Share Posted December 10, 2015 You might want to make sure this person is actually who she says she is before going all the way to meet her. Video chat is a good idea. I did. We did videos. She is Russian and has a nice accent. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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