Redhead14 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I'm a mixed guy with Latin, Indian and Irish which gives me a brown skin complexion but I strongly starting to believe this brown skin is causing me to go dateless, experience not intimacy and never have a relationship. I have a profile on OkCupid and get no views, well I got one view from some lady but I strongly believe she accidentally click on my profile when she meant to click on someone else. I created another profile and uploaded a random white guy picture I Googled image and about 5 hours later I got 3 views and one message from a lady. While my profile stays at no views and zero messages. This is making me believe that having brown skin is killing my chances at finding someone. It hurts it really does. This is why I willing to spend $ 100's to have my skin white so I would be able to attract potential dates on dating sites and possibly in person. I believe people think brown skin is ugly. If brown skin was considered nice I would have gotten more views on OkCupid but I have not. I also tried messaging black girls or anyone with darker skin complexion and still no luck. I think they want a white guy too. Can anyone recommend good skin bleaching cream? I really don't want brown skin anymore. I hate it so I want to change it. "Can bleaching my skin improve my dating life"? That would be a good question to ask Michael Jackson . . . trying to change "who" you are is never a good thing and often produces negative/unintended consequences. Link to post Share on other sites
jay1983 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) It's true. 90% of White women date white men. If you cut out the obese it's probably less than 5% You might want venture out to Oakland and other parts of the bay with more Hispanic women. Edited November 20, 2015 by jay1983 Link to post Share on other sites
AliOop Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Aw, Logan, please don't do that! I am a very fair-skinned blonde and would LOVE to be darker. Dark, even. Hey, at least you don't look like milk!!! One of my guy friends who was dark used to say to me "if you were any whiter, you'd be CLEAR." (Which, by the way, made me howl with laughter and he got a good, swift punch in the arm!) There are lots of ladies out there who find dark very handsome so please, please (pretty please) try to find a way to accept yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Bleaching your skin won't fundamentally change who you are as a person. Perhaps it's the medium. Try an OL dating site that caters to Latinos'. Niche sites are growing in popularity. Also try other methods to meet people. I never had any problems meeting people or getting dates IRL. On OLD I felt like the biggest loser because the majority of my interactions went no where. It was very disheartening. Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I think bleaching your skin is one of the dopiest things I've heard of. But I'm curious: how much does something like that go for? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 OP if you think your brown skin is too dark and preventing you from getting dates how do you explain dark skinned black men having so much success with dating? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LivingDeadGrl Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Have you tried other dating sites besides that one? OKC is barely active where I live. I don't think bleaching your skin is going to help anything. Maybe try to improve your profile, buy some new clothes, change your hair. Your skin colour should have absolutely nothing to do with attracting the kind of woman you're looking for. Do you message any of the women you're attracted to, or are you waiting for them to message you? Do you have many friends? Maybe try going out to places to meet women instead of OLD. You have plenty of options before you consider bleaching your skin. Society is so superficial these days. Makes me sad. Link to post Share on other sites
burnt Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Then how you explain things like this: Odds Favor White Men, Asian Women On Dating App : Code Switch : NPR I explain like this: Research shows 82.2395% of all statements that start with "research shows" is all made up because 92.3701% of the general public loves to gobble up statements like that because they don't fully understand much about the subject of statistics to begin with. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StBreton Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) OP ...Re: bleaching your skin...what does that say about a lot of us "white" people spending time tanning in the sun and at tanning beds? Or getting spray tans? I think I look sexier with tanned skin:) According to the last census...there were ~60K female Hispanic women in San Francisco and the median age = 32. I'm sure some of these women are single and some of them are on dating sites. Maybe due to the Hispanic culture, the women wait for the guys to contact them. Why are you worried about how many "views" you get ... why aren't you out there doing the hunting? Maybe then you wouldn't feel discriminated against by the online picture-scanners. I don't think the color of your skin is holding you back from having a good dating market value. Also ... have a fluent English speaking person check your profile for grammar as you have many grammar errors in your original post ... this could be an issue. If you want to date a Caucasian/light skinned woman, you are competing with all races ... at least according to the article you linked in this thread where it stated most people date within their race but some races (white/light skinned) are preferred over others. A "preference" doesn't account for all dating situations so this preference shouldn't lead you to "bleach" your skin ... most people look at the whole package. Are you a good looking guy? Do women think you are good looking? Edited November 20, 2015 by StBreton 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan415 Posted November 20, 2015 Author Share Posted November 20, 2015 Have you tried other dating sites besides that one? OKC is barely active where I live. I don't think bleaching your skin is going to help anything. Maybe try to improve your profile, buy some new clothes, change your hair. Your skin colour should have absolutely nothing to do with attracting the kind of woman you're looking for. Do you message any of the women you're attracted to, or are you waiting for them to message you? Do you have many friends? Maybe try going out to places to meet women instead of OLD. You have plenty of options before you consider bleaching your skin. Society is so superficial these days. Makes me sad. I usually wait for them to message me because I feel if they do at least they would have some interest. I'm not very good at chasing or approaching. I really don't know places to meet women in person. Link to post Share on other sites
SwordofFlame Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 OP I agree with you in that your race can work against you. This is coming from an Asian guy. You can date Hispanic women, but if you're looking to date white women that are in your league looks-wise. You may need to compensate in other ways, like earning a lot of money, having an awesome personality, etc. etc. Does it suck? Hell yeah, but that's life. It is what it is. Sometimes you just have to play the hand your dealt. I would not recommend bleaching your skin though. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 I usually wait for them to message me because I feel if they do at least they would have some interest. I'm not very good at chasing or approaching. I really don't know places to meet women in person. You can meet people anywhere. Try the following: 1. local coffee shops 2 Meet Up events 3. volunteering for some cause you are passionate about 4. at the dog park 5. co ed sports 6. alumni organizations / events 7. singles events 8. by telling everybody you know that you are open to being fixed up 9. adult education classes, they don't have to be academic but investing, drawing, cooking, simple auto repair, etc. 10. libraries / book stores 11. bars 12. church / religious events 13. laundry mat 14. clubs 15. at work . . . not necessarily the same employer but who is around on your commute? when you get your morning coffee? where you routinely eat lunch? etc. 16. by attending networking events or continuing education classes for your job As for OLD, a passive man will rarely get any action. Women are too busy being bombarded by guys. Just like in life you are saddled with having to make the 1st move. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Hopeful30 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Listen to these words and remember them for the rest of your life. NEVER. EVER. CHANGE FOR NO ONE. Period. Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan415 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 I usually wait for them to message me because I feel if they do at least they would have some interest. I'm not very good at chasing or approaching. I really don't know places to meet women in person. If I had a choice I would prefer tanned skin women. I like all races but tan skin will be my number 1 choice. Link to post Share on other sites
malinda Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Noooo are you serious? If those girls happen to have a 'type' is that your fault? Being exotic is so much more attractive anyway. I think this is the pitfalls of online dating because youre looking through pictures without knowing anything about that person I.e quirks, personality etc please dont try and change yourself for strangers. Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan415 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) I rather be approached because I really don't know how. When I read things online like how to approach and ask a girl out its like a 50 page manual on how to do this. I feel I have enough complex things in life why make it harder. I feel if a woman approach me in person or message me online it makes the flow easier. She kicks off a conversation and I can fill in the blanks and answer her questions. If she starts a conversation and she picks a topic it makes it lot easier. The other issue is its hard to tell if a woman is single or not. Online you know they single because they list it in the profile. I remember when I was 22 in college I had met a woman and it took me 4 months to find out she was taken. It came up when she said she went to some event with her boyfriend. Online dating eliminates this time wasting issue. I judge woman based on how they act. If I see a quiet, nerdy and shy woman I will go for them. If I see a very talkative and spontaneous woman I wouldn't even go near. Because I feel that I wouldn't meet their expectation and will find me boring. I was thinking of hiring a escort for dating and we can go out and have dinner. This will give me dating experience. Edited November 21, 2015 by logan415 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I live in San Francisco there is lot of white people here. So my odds of finding a date is very very low. Oh, puleeeeeze..... This is the most ethnically-diverse dating city in the country. There are more mixed-race couples seen throughout the entire Bay Area. So my odds of finding a date is very very low. If you can't get a date in San Francisco, it has *nothing* to do with the color of your skin. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I rather be approached because I really don't know how. When I read things online like how to approach and ask a girl out its like a 50 page manual on how to do this. I feel I have enough complex things in life why make it harder. I feel if a woman approach me in person or message me online it makes the flow easier. She kicks off a conversation and I can fill in the blanks and answer her questions. If she starts a conversation and she picks a topic it makes it lot easier. The other issue is its hard to tell if a woman is single or not. Online you know they single because they list it in the profile. I remember when I was 22 in college I had met a woman and it took me 4 months to find out she was taken. It came up when she said she went to some event with her boyfriend. Online dating eliminates this time wasting issue. I judge woman based on how they act. If I see a quiet, nerdy and shy woman I will go for them. If I see a very talkative and spontaneous woman I wouldn't even go near. Because I feel that I wouldn't meet their expectation and will find me boring. I was thinking of hiring a escort for dating and we can go out and have dinner. This will give me dating experience. Um, no. That will give you experience of what it's like to hire an escort who's being paid to enjoy your company. Link to post Share on other sites
RecentChange Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 (edited) Well I wrote you a long post op but terrible Internets on the train ate it, but I will try again. To all of the same but skin color doesn't matter well I think have disagree. Not that it's right, but it is a reality. An interesting sociological experiment to ask people to describe someone walking up a hill. Whether the respondents are young or old, Caucasian or minority, male or female, the vast majority respond describing a white man. Whiteness is the default in our society. Doesn't mean skin color makes things impossible, but there is an underlying subconscious biased among many of us. That said I agree that comfort in your own skin and confidence, really attract women. I'm also going to back Carrie T up and say its ludicrous to say San Francisco is not diverse. grew up here, work here, on the commuter train as a white female I am minority. That said OP, I don't think skin bleaching is the answer. And honestly your mix sounds hot! But maybe that's just because I am thinking if my dead sexy Venezuelan / Irish ex boyfriend, or the fact I now have an eye for Persian guys now having been with one. Accept yourself OP, build on your strengths, develop some sexy self confidence. Edited November 21, 2015 by RecentChange Link to post Share on other sites
malinda Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I rather be approached because I really don't know how. When I read things online like how to approach and ask a girl out its like a 50 page manual on how to do this. I feel I have enough complex things in life why make it harder. I feel if a woman approach me in person or message me online it makes the flow easier. She kicks off a conversation and I can fill in the blanks and answer her questions. If she starts a conversation and she picks a topic it makes it lot easier. The other issue is its hard to tell if a woman is single or not. Online you know they single because they list it in the profile. I remember when I was 22 in college I had met a woman and it took me 4 months to find out she was taken. It came up when she said she went to some event with her boyfriend. Online dating eliminates this time wasting issue. I judge woman based on how they act. If I see a quiet, nerdy and shy woman I will go for them. If I see a very talkative and spontaneous woman I wouldn't even go near. Because I feel that I wouldn't meet their expectation and will find me boring. I was thinking of hiring a escort for dating and we can go out and have dinner. This will give me dating experience. sorry but i think the way you are approaching the whole dating thing is as if you ARE reading a manual. Nothing wrong with online dating but to say you are most comfortable with it you are missing opportunities. Remember that people meet in random places at random times. There is no right wrong approach. Just striking up a casual conversation about something could lead to something special. My boyfriend sounded so goofy when we first met but we had a connection and its cute to meet a guy who is not so rehearsed when he talks to women. Atleast me anyway Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan415 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 sorry but i think the way you are approaching the whole dating thing is as if you ARE reading a manual. Nothing wrong with online dating but to say you are most comfortable with it you are missing opportunities. Remember that people meet in random places at random times. There is no right wrong approach. Just striking up a casual conversation about something could lead to something special. My boyfriend sounded so goofy when we first met but we had a connection and its cute to meet a guy who is not so rehearsed when he talks to women. Atleast me anyway I think that is the issue that is engraved in me is that I need to act a certain way and even look a certain way. I here things about be charming and this and that I don't believe I have such qualities. As for bleaching my skin goes, it still something I'm thinking about. Anything to make me more an attractive mate. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Changing your skin color will not improve your attractiveness as a mate. Learning to relate to people will make you infinitely more desirable. You don't need a 50 page manual. Approach people is very simple. See someone. Smile. Say hi. Then have a conversation with that person where you are an active, interested listener. It really is that simple 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Odinani Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Well the singer Miguel (half Mexican, half African American) is fancied by thousands of women. He's gorgeous. And he's got brown skin. I don't think it's your colour that is the problem OP. Maybe you are not good looking or not tall. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Odinani Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 I am on OKC, I have brown skin, and I get stupid amounts of attention. Too much attention on there. Link to post Share on other sites
Author logan415 Posted November 21, 2015 Author Share Posted November 21, 2015 Well the singer Miguel (half Mexican, half African American) is fancied by thousands of women. He's gorgeous. And he's got brown skin. I don't think it's your colour that is the problem OP. Maybe you are not good looking or not tall. Maybe I need plastic surgery then. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts