Author premedlife Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 Absolutely!! And if you (and your boyfriend) decide to keep the baby...then congrats! It will be tough but other couples have done it and succeeded. Some hard choices ahead.... Wish you the best! :) Thanks for your sweet words! Got a couple of days to decide Link to post Share on other sites
Author premedlife Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 (edited) Yeah that is VERY young. And especially considering she wants to be a doctor. A baby will pretty much squelch that dream, at least for now. premed, do you want to keep this baby? 65/45... 65% of me wants to terminate it. Then there's is the other 45 that makes me want to keep it. It's a huge responsibility Edited September 21, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 65/45... 65% of me wants to terminate it. Then there's is the other 45 that makes me want to keep it. It's a huge responsibility ? Considering adoption? FWIW, that's what my choice would be....but YOU need to do what's right for YOU. I may be in the minority here... but I also think your boyfriend's feelings should be considered also... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author premedlife Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 Considering adoption? FWIW, that's what my choice would be....but YOU need to do what's right for YOU. I may be in the minority here... but I also think your boyfriend's feelings should be considered also... Absolutely, I would not want to do it on my own or be a single mom. His reasons for wanting an abortion seems very logical because of where we both are in our lives. I would not be able to bring my self to give the baby up once I deliver. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 65/45... 65% of me wants to terminate it. Then there's is the other 45 that makes me want to keep it. It's a huge responsibility ? Please give some thought to giving the baby up for adoption. The couple that wants to adopt your baby is out there somewhere devastated that they can't have a child of their own. To give them this precious gift would be the most selfless act you could do. If you want to dedicate yourself to medicine, you have a healing soul / heart. Think about how much good your sacrifice could bring before you pick termination. In the end it is your decision. Going through the pregnancy & then saying goodbye would be very difficult but it is an option. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Absolutely, I would not want to do it on my own or be a single mom. His reasons for wanting an abortion seems very logical because of where we both are in our lives. I would not be able to bring my self to give the baby up once I deliver. I hear ya.... I would imagine that would be VERY tough. But then again so is abortion. REALLY tough decisions but I am glad your boyfriend is supporting you through all this... Personally I am not a big proponent of abortion, but you are only what 3 weeks pregnant? This would be time to do it IF that is what you decide. Tough tough choices. Please keep us posted premed.... And again good luck! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
HereNorThere Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 There are definitely a few things about this that make you go hmmmm, but ultimately, 21 years of age is not the hallmark of adulthood. At 21, you're brain is still not fully formed nor do you have the life experience to make proper decisions. People make mistakes and sometimes repeat the same mistakes. Some people drink and drive despite knowing the risks, some people engage in risky sexual behavior. Hopefully this is a learning experience for OP, but it's certainly not a time for a bunch of people to gang up on her. I'm sure she is well aware that she made a mistake. OP, go easy on yourself and try to relax. Get through this situation and once you get you past it, I would strongly suggest talking to a medical professional about reversible, long-term birth control like an intrauterine implant. Good luck and we're rooting for you! 4 Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Glad if I can help, premed. The historical way to count pregnancy weeks is from the first date of your last period. This is roughly 2 weeks before ovulation. I know n your case things are not that easy to count, but, if you conceived on September 9-10, you are actually 4 weeks pregnant (starting your 5th week on 23-24). It is still quite early and if you decide to terminate, your dr can give you abortion pills to take at home, you'll bleed and cramp, but no surgery or anything invasive will be required. Actually, this happens way more often naturally than what people like to admit (late "periods" are often just very early stage miscarriages). If you want to keep the pregnancy though, start taking folic acid and other supplements asap, stop alcohol, caffein, smoking. These early weeks are actually the riskiest and determine the whole life of the baby-to-be - the organs are formed NOW. And I saw people discuss condoms... If I were you, I would not rely on them unless extremely confident that you know what you're doing. E.g. getting precum fluid on your genitals before putting on the condom, having multiple "rounds" one after another without changing condoms, slippages...and the condom is useless. I saw you don't like hormonal birth control, but from a personal experience - Nuvaring is a good one, very easy to use and I never had side effects after the first month or two (back then I had brown spotting and breast soreness, but it is normal initially - give your body 2-3 months before deciding you don't like the contraceptive). Thank you kindly. After the doctor talked to my boyfriend and I, we realized that I possibly conceived with 4-5 days from my missed period(September 5th). The brown spotting probably had nothing to do with my period at all. I just recently got pregnant! Thank you you for your kind words and concern! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Premedlife: I apologize for being really harsh on you this afternoon. I was thinking about you on my drive back home and thought back when I was your age and how distressed I would have been if an older woman with all of her experience would have hit me with her speech. I am truly sorry. I got pregnant at 20 and had by daughter at 21. Even though I was married I remember being very scared of the huge responsibility ahead and scared of the unknown so I can imagine you are very overwhelmed and scared at this moment. I hope you are close to your mom and will find support and comfort from her what ever your decision is. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
William Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 Hi folks, after deleting a bunch of off topic posts I want to remind everybody that this thread is about one woman dealing with the possibility of being pregnant at a young age and navigating that situation. It is not about the question of the morality of abortion as an option, nor is it about critiquing decisions that may or may not have lead to the OP's current condition. Let's keep our replies within that focus, those other topics can be discussed freely elsewhere on LS. ~Thank you 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author premedlife Posted September 21, 2015 Author Share Posted September 21, 2015 Premedlife: I apologize for being really harsh on you this afternoon. I was thinking about you on my drive back home and thought back when I was your age and how distressed I would have been if an older woman with all of her experience would have hit me with her speech. I am truly sorry. I got pregnant at 20 and had by daughter at 21. Even though I was married I remember being very scared of the huge responsibility ahead and scared of the unknown so I can imagine you are very overwhelmed and scared at this moment. I hope you are close to your mom and will find support and comfort from her what ever your decision is. Thank you for showing kindness and understanding. I'm sorry for not understanding or taking your words with a grain of salt. I now understand why you were so concerned. I truly feel lost and overwhelmed. At 3 weeks this should be an easy termination but my heart is so torn.., Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted September 21, 2015 Share Posted September 21, 2015 65/45... 65% of me wants to terminate it. Then there's is the other 45 that makes me want to keep it. It's a huge responsibility �� I just have to point out 65/45 is mathematically wrong. (Are you really going to be a Doctor?) Anyway, I vote for adoption. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 Thank you for showing kindness and understanding. I'm sorry for not understanding or taking your words with a grain of salt. I now understand why you were so concerned. I truly feel lost and overwhelmed. At 3 weeks this should be an easy termination but my heart is so torn.., Ironically, after I posted earlier, my stepdaughter called, having taken a home test. She so desperately wants to have a baby, and takes a test every time her period is the slightest bit off. It was negative, and she's been trying for quite a while. Funny how life works. So, will you confide in your parents? Do I recall that you live at home? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Tiger Lily Posted September 22, 2015 Share Posted September 22, 2015 You're in my prayers, premed. (hugs) I also hope you're able to consider adoption if you decide it's not the right time to raise a child. According to your previous post, it seems this isn't an option for you. Would you be able to explain a little more as to why it's not an idea you're considering? If you don't want to get into it here though, no problem. You've definitely got a lot to think about. Link to post Share on other sites
Author premedlife Posted September 28, 2015 Author Share Posted September 28, 2015 just thought i post an update. after my initial ultrasound last week monday, i started having this brown discharge/spotting on tuesday. it came on and off through out the week. I didnt think anything great of it because i read online and it said its normal. could my doctor who also said spotting in pregnancy is normal. Then on friday at night, the brown discharge turned to pink. i freaked out and decided to go to the emergency room the next day. We went, doctor said my cervix is close, and only saw a sac not the baby. After we came home i started having excruciating cramps and was bleeding like a heavy period flow. i took a nap and when i woke up i saw this huge clot that almost filled the entire pad and a string that looked like the umbilical cord. Then later on, another huge clot that had some white stringy things in it along the dark brown blood. I am pretty certain i miscarried. I am still bleeding and been passing tiny clots... I do not know how or what caused this possible miscarriage. I have another doctors appointment tomorrow to check to see what is going on with me. Link to post Share on other sites
nescafe1982 Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 (edited) premedlife, I'm sorry to hear that you're having these bleeding issues. I just wanted to say two things: 1) I have had a miscarriage at 11 weeks and the experience was very similar to what you're describing. Ultrasound confirmed a sac but no heartbeat, and my body expelled the material a few days later. Only a doctor can tell you for sure, though... so get to a doc asap. 2) I have also had an elective abortion. I'm letting you know this in case you're still making your decision in the chances you would like to talk to someone who has been there. I'm happy to share my experience with the procedure via PM. I hope the very best for you. Whatever that looks like. Edited September 28, 2015 by nescafe1982 1 Link to post Share on other sites
MidwestUSA Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 Premed, the day after I posted here that my stepdaughter is trying to get pregnant, she had a positive test. She'd been spotting and cramping, thinking it was her period. Long story short, she announced it, and miscarried the next day. It sounds pretty much like you described. You can expect to spot/bleed for a couple of weeks. Watch carefully for a fever, a sign that you're retaining tissue that is infected, but I do hope it was complete, and glad you have a follow up scheduled. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Know that it's very, very common, and you're never alone. Hugs. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted September 28, 2015 Share Posted September 28, 2015 So sorry for what you're going through, OP. Early miscarriage is quite common, more so than people realize. :-( 3 Link to post Share on other sites
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