Author laelithia Posted December 2, 2015 Author Share Posted December 2, 2015 It just goes to show that some people will lock you in by creating a false sense of security and are quite happy to do things which would usually be a sign of a serious relationship (like meeting parents etc) but have no intention of it going anywhere. I dated a guy exactly like the one you are describing. What Gaeta says here is a response that I would usually have considered quite black and white. I am fully on board with this now however. I've learned the hard way. As I said I dated a guy like this. I got really frustrated eventually and told him I'd like to hear from him more but it never really happened. He was never prepared to make any kind of effort other than to set up dates. I took the wrong advice at the time, the advice that I should take things at his pace, that it would probably improve. But as I learned, he only saw me as a casual distraction. The best thing for me was to cut him out completely by going no contact and blocking him everywhere. He still emails me now 2 years later wanting to start up a conversation but I just can't bring myself to do it. OP, I hope things work out for you. You will realise that you dodged a bullet if you haven't done already. I don't know why, but I have this overwhelming desire to ask him what happened. I know it would do no good and he wouldn't answer honestly or at all, but I feel like somehow an explanation would help me get over this. I just don't get how for 3 months we spent so much time together and then suddenly after one conversation we don't speak at all. Did I really mean that little to him? Link to post Share on other sites
mattelipstick Posted December 2, 2015 Share Posted December 2, 2015 I don't know why, but I have this overwhelming desire to ask him what happened. I know it would do no good and he wouldn't answer honestly or at all, but I feel like somehow an explanation would help me get over this. I just don't get how for 3 months we spent so much time together and then suddenly after one conversation we don't speak at all. Did I really mean that little to him? Pleeeeeeeeease don't do this. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted December 3, 2015 Share Posted December 3, 2015 He's been in contact with me and even asked me to come over (I'm sure drunkenly) over the weekend. It's extremely frustrating because he will reach out and contact me, and then when I answer he'll ignore it. It's very frustrating and I hate feeling like he's on top. I'm so disappointed in him, his character seemed so drastically different before and I just don't understand what happened laelithia there is a very simple solution to this (bolded). When he reaches out, DON'T answer him. I mean what's the point? You KNOW he will only ignore it, making you feel worse. So why respond at all? He is only "on top" because YOU have put him there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author laelithia Posted December 3, 2015 Author Share Posted December 3, 2015 laelithia there is a very simple solution to this (bolded). When he reaches out, DON'T answer him. I mean what's the point? You KNOW he will only ignore it, making you feel worse. So why respond at all? He is only "on top" because YOU have put him there. I definitely won't respond if he contacts me again, but now it seems like he has stopped completely. I just don't understand why he did that at all, why anyone would do that. I guess I'm upset with myself that I misjudged his character so greatly. I wondered about his interest from day one in me, but throughout I thought he was a very good, honest person. Now I'm feeling upset that this is not the case, or at least not the way he's treated me Link to post Share on other sites
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