Author linqer Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Know what? The risk of STD's is a side issue. Here is the REAL issue: You are repeatedly cheating on your wife, to whom you promised faithfulness, with strangers. YOU are choosing to stomp on your marriage vows weekly with people you pay. THAT is the central issue. And because you care more about your comfort and feelings than your wife and child, you would rather try to secretly break this addiction than be honest with her and get real help. You are selfish. THAT, sir, is the issue. And you'd rather argue and become superior than change. I am selfish I am sure about it, now days everyone is selfish, everyone is trying to cover his ass.. We broght child and not adopt one that selfish.. Tons of industries are tricking the customer, much more than you could imainge.. so yea I am selfish I really don't think its issue, sinces 99% of peole are selfish.. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I am selfish I am sure about it, now days everyone is selfish, everyone is trying to cover his ass.. We broght child and not adopt one that selfish.. Tons of industries are tricking the customer, much more than you could imainge.. so yea I am selfish I really don't think its issue, sinces 99% of peole are selfish.. More justification. You will never change until you look the REALITY of what you are choosing to do in the face instead of acting like it's no big deal because "everyone else is selfish." Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Again, tell your wife how you feel and what you are doing. Give her the opportunity to know the kind of guy she is *really* married to and see if she still insists on staying together. The problem with all your data on the STDs is that you could catch it and not know in the amount of time it would take you to pass it on to your wife. I think that in relashionship the sex is much more important to the man, and for the women the talking, children and so on.. at least that the impression I got in life, so my wife think she got what she want, so thats why she "insist" to stay with me.. Its really stange that 99% of comments here are against me, while I have very common issues, Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 More justification. You will never change until you look the REALITY of what you are choosing to do in the face instead of acting like it's no big deal because "everyone else is selfish." I am selfish, I always been like that, and as time goes by I will become more selfish.. Link to post Share on other sites
truncated Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 I am selfish, I always been like that, and as time goes by I will become more selfish.. You sound like my brother, who i love dearly but hate how he acts. He was married, had some kids, but was a workaholic with an addiction ( extreme sports) He was also a womanizer. His wife, who he had felt was happy through all of that ( he bought her everything he could want and she didn't know about his cheating) tried to keep things together so her kids could grow up in a stable home, even though she was getting more and more miserable. The ended up divorcing, and he remarried his ow.They are not happy. Now 20 years later, he is still a workaholic who puts his selfish needs first, and he earns in a month what can take man years to earn. he has at least two multi million dollar homes, a couple of vacation villas, rental properties, a yacht, etc. he buys a lot of "things" but they don't mean much to him. All that sounds great, except his kids don't really know him and don't want much to do with him, he's become estranged from his other family, and he's actually miserable. He's told me that if he could go back and change things in the beginning, he would, but it's too late now. That's the thing. Look at your life now, and look at all the good things in it that you are putting at risk. Ask yourself if sex with hooker sis really worth it, and what it is that they are really providing you with ( hint...just based on what you write, it isn't really the sex, it's something more. I don't know if low self esteem on your part, that you have a sense of entitlement, that you are looking to fill a void within yourself, or what it is) or that you really aren't happy within yourself and you are trying really hard to be. Your wife can't give you that, neither can your child or sex with strangers. You have to give that to yourself. I will suggests again that you find a good therapist who can give you a more permanent fix than the temporary one these hookers can. btw, If it were your wife out sleeping with different men every week, and hiding it from you how would you feel? Would you be angry? Why? What would you think of her? ( as for being in the army, my husband is, and nowhere do they take a blase attitude to the risks associated with combat. If anything, they are taught to negate those risks as much as possible and to not foolishly enter into a firefight for no other reason than an adrenaline rush) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 Please! Come-on. You came here because you need help. I know it's getting really tough now. With any addiction these are amongst the worst days. Maybe the stress of Friday getting closer has something to do with your stress levels & fighting with your wife?? Look back. You love her! You talk about flirting & laughing. Look at your boy. I think you're being defensive & stressed. I have 2 young children. I know what it is to love so completely. No cheap (or expensive) thrill is ever going to come close. You know what you're risking loosing. Imagine your son not respecting you!? Not wanting anything to do with you? He will stick with his mother if she is shamed by you. It will break his heart. Remember why you're here. It's NOT to fight with people!! Are you strong enough to do this or are you so weak you can't last a week? Are you going to let all the people here who expect you to fail to say "I told you so!"?? You have your Friday plan. Where are you going to take your wife & boy? How are you going to treat your wife? Are you taking her somewhere nice? What are your targets for the gym? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
GunslingerRoland Posted September 2, 2015 Share Posted September 2, 2015 With the broken English and the crazy situation I'm guessing this is just a fake account, but assuming it isn't you need to quit cold turkey. Sleeping with prostitutes is not a healthy lifestyle, you seem to be using confirmation bias of trying to find things that prove you aren't going to get STD's etc., but the reality is, you will at some point if you continue doing this. And it's needle drugs, not crack that are more likely to cause hookers to have STD's and I highly doubt that you can tell users from non users. As for your relationship, once you get past the hookers, see if it improves things, if not move on. You clearly aren't getting much out of the relationship and neither is she, you can be a perfectly good parent while not being with the mom. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 2, 2015 Author Share Posted September 2, 2015 Please! Come-on. You came here because you need help. I know it's getting really tough now. With any addiction these are amongst the worst days. Maybe the stress of Friday getting closer has something to do with your stress levels & fighting with your wife?? Look back. You love her! You talk about flirting & laughing. Look at your boy. I think you're being defensive & stressed. I have 2 young children. I know what it is to love so completely. No cheap (or expensive) thrill is ever going to come close. You know what you're risking loosing. Imagine your son not respecting you!? Not wanting anything to do with you? He will stick with his mother if she is shamed by you. It will break his heart. Remember why you're here. It's NOT to fight with people!! Are you strong enough to do this or are you so weak you can't last a week? Are you going to let all the people here who expect you to fail to say "I told you so!"?? You have your Friday plan. Where are you going to take your wife & boy? How are you going to treat your wife? Are you taking her somewhere nice? What are your targets for the gym? for friday I am going to do hircut & gym & take my boy from kindergarden So I will be most of the day with my family So regarding hookers I think I will be ok this week.. However its not getting easier.. for porn I am completly lost right now.. need to think how I handle that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 3, 2015 Author Share Posted September 3, 2015 for friday I am going to do hircut & gym & take my boy from kindergarden So I will be most of the day with my family So regarding hookers I think I will be ok this week.. However its not getting easier.. for porn I am completly lost right now.. need to think how I handle that.. Thought all day about divorce.. aww boy Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Thought all day about divorce.. aww boy Now there's a healthy thought! You can still provide for your child and ex wife while divorced from her. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 3, 2015 Share Posted September 3, 2015 Thought all day about divorce.. aww boy This is not a bad thought. I'm not sure you understand marriage. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 4, 2015 Author Share Posted September 4, 2015 didn't went to hookers today.. didn't felt the need, although I watch the sex forums for the new girls.. I had very open discussion with my wife on the things that I am missing in my life, I didn't mention that I went to hookers to find that, I told her that I want to be more like a man and less like a boy and maybe that lead me sometimes.. was very open discussion.. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 4, 2015 Share Posted September 4, 2015 didn't went to hookers today.. didn't felt the need, although I watch the sex forums for the new girls.. I had very open discussion with my wife on the things that I am missing in my life, I didn't mention that I went to hookers to find that, I told her that I want to be more like a man and less like a boy and maybe that lead me sometimes.. was very open discussion.. Other than the part where you left out the BIG issue. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 Other than the part where you left out the BIG issue. even if I will go for divorce I dont see any reason to tell this.. Currently divorce is on the tabel.. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 even if I will go for divorce I dont see any reason to tell this.. Currently divorce is on the tabel.. I think it is for the best really. YOU obviously have issues that are not compatible with a marriage, that you need to figure out, so it is best to let your wife go. and not hurt her any more, as I am sure you are hurting her here. You say you are not in love with her, she will know that, and that is very difficult to live with for a wife. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Currently divorce is on the tabel.. On the table as in Your Mind? Or... On the table as in My Wife and I are Discussing Divorce?" Big difference if the divorce option is one that your wife is aware of and a possibility or you are just considering divorcing her without her knowledge. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 On the table as in Your Mind? Or... On the table as in My Wife and I are Discussing Divorce?" Big difference if the divorce option is one that your wife is aware of and a possibility or you are just considering divorcing her without her knowledge. I am consider divorce without her knowledge.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 5, 2015 Author Share Posted September 5, 2015 I think it is for the best really. YOU obviously have issues that are not compatible with a marriage, that you need to figure out, so it is best to let your wife go. and not hurt her any more, as I am sure you are hurting her here. You say you are not in love with her, she will know that, and that is very difficult to live with for a wife. As I told before my wife is very happy, she told me its her best period in her life.. Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 I am consider divorce without her knowledge.. Then why don't you TELL her that you are considering leaving her - and WHY?!? Link to post Share on other sites
ShatteredLady Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Well done for not going!! Bad for looking though. You came here because you love your wife & your beautiful baby boy. I still don't know which country you're in. Will divorce be a HUGE stigma for your wife & child? To be honest if you lived in the USA or England (& many other countries) I'd advise you to divorce & financially support them. In some cultures that will be a LOT harder on your family than in others. I have my suspicions that you're only now talking about divorce because you're finding it so hard to change & start living the authentic life you said you wanted. Please be careful. The mind can be dangerous in situations like this. It can start to convince you that being single & traveling the world chasing different sexual experiences is a good idea! Do you really, truly think that would be a better life for you? Would that make you happier than being a husband & father? You WILL loose your wife & your son. Your son will not respect you. Does your wife have a good family to take her in & take care of them? Can she work & support herself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
sm2281 Posted September 5, 2015 Share Posted September 5, 2015 Get a divorce You dont deserve that and neither does the child. Cheafing is never okay.dven with a hooker. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author linqer Posted September 6, 2015 Author Share Posted September 6, 2015 Well done for not going!! Bad for looking though. You came here because you love your wife & your beautiful baby boy. I still don't know which country you're in. Will divorce be a HUGE stigma for your wife & child? To be honest if you lived in the USA or England (& many other countries) I'd advise you to divorce & financially support them. In some cultures that will be a LOT harder on your family than in others. I have my suspicions that you're only now talking about divorce because you're finding it so hard to change & start living the authentic life you said you wanted. Please be careful. The mind can be dangerous in situations like this. It can start to convince you that being single & traveling the world chasing different sexual experiences is a good idea! Do you really, truly think that would be a better life for you? Would that make you happier than being a husband & father? You WILL loose your wife & your son. Your son will not respect you. Does your wife have a good family to take her in & take care of them? Can she work & support herself? Thanks, I have less desire going to hookers, regarding the divorce you might be right divorce are quite popular here, i dont know howmuch I love her, however she is part of me we have been togther fir 10 years.. i can imigine going out with other girls and have sex with them Its complicated... Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 I am consider divorce without her knowledge.. Well this makes sense. You are breaking vows and subjecting her to disease without her knowledge either. Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted September 6, 2015 Share Posted September 6, 2015 Thanks, I have less desire going to hookers, regarding the divorce you might be right divorce are quite popular here, i dont know howmuch I love her, however she is part of me we have been togther fir 10 years.. i can imigine going out with other girls and have sex with them Its complicated... It's not complicated. You are simply a man who only cares about himself and has no integrity. People like that are, sadly, a dime a dozen. Not special or complicated at all. Link to post Share on other sites
cif Posted September 7, 2015 Share Posted September 7, 2015 As I told before my wife is very happy, she told me its her best period in her life.. But she is living a lie. Would you like to be in her shoes? You have every right to divorce and live as you please. And so does she. If you had been truthful with her during your discussion, not saying you need to disclose the hookers part, but at least what you need from her and if your needs are not met you will divorce, perhaps the outcome will be different. You want to be treated as a man start acting like one. Stop dancing around the topic with her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts