Can anyone here think of any women who are 25+, or 30+ and never had a boyfriend

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

Thank you for answering. To be honest I think I only know 1 virgin, my 60 year old Mums cousin, not by choice just lack of opportunity. It's interesting to hear others perspective. Braggers are incredibly unattractive as are overconfident 'ladies men'. To a woman like me there are many far less attractive traits than being a virgin.

 

Wow, 60 year old virgin woman?

[still_an_Angel]

My friend is a 43 year old virgin. I personally find her so sweet, she has an easy-going personality, responsible and not lacking in the looks department. The years have just gone by from our 20s, (we are now in our 40s) and for some reason guys just pass her over, she's never had a bf ever!

 

 

I think she is a classic case of what my ole grandma used to say - "beauty is no guarantee of lifetime partner".

[johndoe2]

My friend is a 43 year old virgin. I personally find her so sweet, she has an easy-going personality, responsible and not lacking in the looks department. The years have just gone by from our 20s, (we are now in our 40s) and for some reason guys just pass her over, she's never had a bf ever!

 

 

I think she is a classic case of what my ole grandma used to say - "beauty is no guarantee of lifetime partner".

At a certain point you would think she would start taking the initiative herself, and failure to do so wold seem to be just a matter of sheer stubbornness or complacency.

[SJC2008]

Women as a rule do not feel the same entitlement to men's bodies that men in general feel towards women's.

 

This is why there is a prostitution industry that is virtually all men buying women's bodies, often at great harm to women being used or trafficked. And, ever hear of a female Elliot Rodger?

 

In part because women don't feel that entitlement to have sex with and access to male bodies, they don't complain about it as much.

 

Hmm, plenty of women, probably 50%+ are chunkier than their BF's so I don't know where your entitlement "theory" comes from.

[truthtripper]

At a certain point you would think she would start taking the initiative herself, and failure to do so wold seem to be just a matter of sheer stubbornness or complacency.

 

Right, so she should force herself to hook up with some guy she's not really into. Makes lots of sense.

[Shining One]

Right, so she should force herself to hook up with some guy she's not really into. Makes lots of sense.

I'm pretty sure he meant she could have taken an active role in pursuing men she was interested in (ask them out herself) as opposed to passively waiting for them to come to her.

[lino]

Hmm, plenty of women, probably 50%+ are chunkier than their BF's so I don't know where your entitlement "theory" comes from.

 

The only guys I know of that felt entitled to a woman's body were players and they had no trouble getting women.

[Moe'sTavern]

I'm pretty sure he meant she could have taken an active role in pursuing men she was interested in (ask them out herself) as opposed to passively waiting for them to come to her.

That's how I saw it, also. I'm not really sure what that poster's issue is.

[johndoe2]

 

Right, so she should force herself to hook up with some guy she's not really into. Makes lots of sense.

 

Where did I say anything about 'hooking up?' And how, pray tell, have you come to the conclusion that any man who would be interested in her would inevitably approach her at the first possibly opportunity?

 

See sometimes, men, being neither omniscient nor telepathic, may be 1) hesitant to approach her because they're still trying to figure out if she reciprocates interest, 2) has erroneously concluded she is not interested, and can only be corrected by her approaching him, or 3) isn't even aware of her yet.

 

Women can take the initiative. Last I read that did not violate the laws of physics.

[johndoe2]

Women as a rule do not feel the same entitlement to men's bodies that men in general feel towards women's.

 

This is why there is a prostitution industry that is virtually all men buying women's bodies, often at great harm to women being used or trafficked. And, ever hear of a female Elliot Rodger?

 

In part because women don't feel that entitlement to have sex with and access to male bodies, they don't complain about it as much.

Women are more likely however to feel entitled to men's money, resources, or protection.

 

Also, voluntary prostitution and human trafficking are not the same thing, any more than alcohol consumption and drunk driving are the same thing. Amazes me that people still think they can get away with that equivocation.

 

Thirdly, there are plenty of Jodi Ariases in the world. I'm sure you'd prefer your gender not be judged based on her behavior, no?

 

This is not a matter of 'entitlement.' Men, on average, have higher sex drives than women. Hence they seek sex with women (and with more women) more intensely than vice versa. This is a biological feature, whether you like it or not. It is fairly similar to what is seen in most mammalian species.

Edited August 24, 2015 by johndoe2

[Rejected Rosebud]

The only guys I know of that felt entitled to a woman's body were players and they had no trouble getting women.

The term "involuntarily celibate" kind of implies that a man is entitled to have sex with a woman and somehow this "right" is being withheld from him.

[truthtripper]

Women can take the initiative. Last I read that did not violate the laws of physics.

 

Male or female, if a person enjoys the company of another and wants to know them better, they will take action. If they want to know them better, but don't take action then there are psychological reasons for that-perhaps they have trouble expressing their feelings, have suffered some kind of trauma which has impacted on their ability to connect with others etc...Perhaps the person still_an_Angel refers to has simply not met her match yet. To say that someone is "stubborn" and "complacent" as johndoe2 puts it, for being single is judgemental.

Edited August 24, 2015 by truthtripper

[Shining One]

The term "involuntarily celibate" kind of implies that a man is entitled to have sex with a woman and somehow this "right" is being withheld from him.

That's not how I perceive involuntarily celibate at all. I see at as: Despite a person's efforts, they have not been able to find a sexual partner. Sex is not a right, it is simply an unachieved goal.

[lino]

The term "involuntarily celibate" kind of implies that a man is entitled to have sex with a woman and somehow this "right" is being withheld from him.

 

How you drew this conclusion is beyond me.

 

Like I said, the only guys I've ever known who felt entitled to sex were players. They had no problems getting it.

[guest569]

I pursued blokes but they weren't interested, i pursued my first when I was age 7. Still didnt get my first kiss til i was 25, sex at 27.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

So I guess for a lot of these late bloomer women, it was not by choice for them right?

[Rejected Rosebud]

You guys, don't bother with quoting the dictionary and all of that. I actually know what "involuntary" and "celibate" mean but thanks anyway!!! If you want to be honest, the whole "Incel" culture or whatever you want to call it hinges on guys who feel that they are being DENIED something that they should be "getting." It's so obvious.

 

The bottom line of this thread is "why should I have to make an effort to get what other people are getting without making an effort, it's not fair, waaah." Does that not show entitlement? Nobody is "entitled" to sex or friendship or love, we are so lucky if we find it and really we have to be bringing alot to the table ourselves if we have these kinds of connections with other people, if we don't there is NOWHERE to look but at OURSELVES and nothing to do about it besides self improvement which in some cases is mostly about a big ol attitude adjustment! :bunny:

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

You guys, don't bother with quoting the dictionary and all of that. I actually know what "involuntary" and "celibate" mean but thanks anyway!!! If you want to be honest, the whole "Incel" culture or whatever you want to call it hinges on guys who feel that they are being DENIED something that they should be "getting." It's so obvious.

 

The bottom line of this thread is "why should I have to make an effort to get what other people are getting without making an effort, it's not fair, waaah." Does that not show entitlement? Nobody is "entitled" to sex or friendship or love, we are so lucky if we find it and really we have to be bringing alot to the table ourselves if we have these kinds of connections with other people, if we don't there is NOWHERE to look but at OURSELVES and nothing to do about it besides self improvement which in some cases is mostly about a big ol attitude adjustment! :bunny:

 

I know and i'm aware that i'm not entitled to it, women do not, I repeat, do NOT owe me anything, it's just I wonder if there are more women out there that struggle to get dates or get a boyfriend than it actually seems.

[Rejected Rosebud]

it's just I wonder if there are more women out there that struggle to get dates or get a boyfriend than it actually seems.

I can't tell you about older ladies that haven't had a boyfriend but I def assure you that whatever pain and struggles you are having there are women who are having some just as bad. Just because it is not expected for a woman to ask a guy on a date ... that doesn't make it all a walk in the park. You will have a better chance of getting close to women if you can find a way to stop thinking of how much "easier" we have it, that is not a good starting point at all.

[lollipopspot]

You will have a better chance of getting close to women if you can find a way to stop thinking of how much "easier" we have it, that is not a good starting point at all.

 

I don't know about that. I find anger, resentment, and jealously very attractive in a man

[johndoe2]

The term "involuntarily celibate" kind of implies that a man is entitled to have sex with a woman and somehow this "right" is being withheld from him.

No, it doesn't. You're just making that up. It implies that he's not having sex because no one wants to have sex with him, rather than because he doesn't want to have sex with people.

 

Does 'involuntary hunger', as opposed to deliberate fasting, suggest one feels entitled to the food in your refrigerate? Does involuntary lack of money suggest entitlement to someone else's money? I think not.

[johndoe2]

To say that someone is "stubborn" and "complacent" as johndoe2 puts it, for being single is judgemental.

How is that judgmental? "Stubborn" and "complacent" aren't even value judgments.

 

If they don't want to be single, and they remain so for long time and refuse to take any initiative, then stubborn and complacent sounds about right. It was presupposed that we were talking about someone who does not want to be single, but is nonetheless, for a long period of time.

[johndoe2]

You will have a better chance of getting close to women if you can find a way to stop thinking of how much "easier" we have it, that is not a good starting point at all.

Maybe if you would stop thinking about how much easier they think men have it, or how much worse men are than women (hint: direct reference to your whole narrative about men having an entitlement issue).

 

Pot, kettle, etc.

[lino]

Women getting dates or sex? Really easy. When I was actually researching this sort of thing, I followed some of my female friends in their OLD journey. Even the two least desirable women (generally speaking) were able to quickly get dates, and both of them found a FWB within a few days. These were obese women, both had kids, and one of them was unemployed. Didn't matter, they still had no trouble finding male company. The difference is how long those guys are willing to stick around.

 

Men, we may struggle a lot more getting a date, or trying to get laid, but, once we do, it is so much easier to get that girl to stick around. I have never had a woman use me for sex. I have never had a woman have sex with me, then make up excuses how she isn't ready for a relationship, or whatever other lies we tell women. For the most part, that just isn't a concern for men.

 

You're lucky you were never used in that way. Not all are so fortunate.

 

Maybe if you would stop thinking about how much easier they think men have it, or how much worse men are than women (hint: direct reference to your whole narrative about men having an entitlement issue).

 

Pot, kettle, etc.

 

'You do as I say, not as I do!'

[Rejected Rosebud]

Maybe if you would stop thinking about how much easier they think men have it, or how much worse men are than women (hint: direct reference to your whole narrative about men having an entitlement issue).

 

Pot, kettle, etc.

 

1) I don't think men have it easier. I think of people as individuals and some of us have a MUCH easier or harder time of things than others.

 

2) I don't think men are worse than women. I think of people as individuals. A woman has just as much chance of being a heinous loser as a man does.

 

3) I never made a "whole narrative about men having an entitlement issue." Please quote that since I have no clue what you're talking about! I did say that there is a big aura of men feeling entitled to sex when they talk about themselves as "involuntarily celibate" with righteous anger! That certainly doesn't pertain to men in general though I have never even met a guy like that in real life just on the Internet thank goodness!!!