phineas Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 So, you chose a woman with this sort of profile and background, but not to bed her? Sorry, but.... !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This. You are not her type. Her type is the kinda guy that knows he's going to be showing her his back seat after the 2nd round. And does. Find someone more your speed/ type and stop wasting time on her. Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 (edited) She's possibly an ex-porn star who wants to be humiliated during sex, has rape fantasies, and has sex within an hour of meeting someone? That is not a red flag to you in any way that she's possibly been misused? Wow. Answering some multiple choice questions does NOT make that fact. I've had sex within an hour of meeting someone, once, and it was a mistake. LOTS of people have rape fantasies! Jesus, do some research. You ever heard of BDSM...quite a popular activity amongst consenting adults. That involves humiliation...and I can assure you form my journey into that land (Eye opening!) that the people who are into this are mostly highly educated, well paid professionals, in positions of power and authority, not sexual abuse victims. You (and others) are judging, nay, condemning some person based on a few tick-box answers, and NOT on her demonstrated behaviour. She REFUSED a kiss because it was too early..yeah top Porn Star material there! Edited July 5, 2015 by yxalitis 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I think the problem is, since she's seemed so contradictory, you don't really know what the truth is with her or which direction the truth is going in. And that's a very unsettling place to be. Now most people are going to feel a lesser degree of unsettled, especially when meeting a stranger online, but she seems especially high risk in terms of drama and unpredictability because of how she's acted. But, if that's your thing (and it very well may be for TunaintheBrine, it is for many guys) then keep playing along with the game. It may be fun. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 people who are into this are mostly highly educated, well paid professionals, in positions of power and authority, not sexual abuse victims. There are indeed people in powerful positions who're into this. I still think, though, that there's potentially something "broken" about her and pursuing her may be a wild ride (and not necessarily the kind he's looking for). Though, at this point, I'm thinking that may not be a concern with the OP even if it were true. Men will put up with an awful lot for a hot piece of a**. Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I think the problem is, since she's seemed so contradictory, you don't really know what the truth is with her or which direction the truth is going in. And that's a very unsettling place to be. Now most people are going to feel a lesser degree of unsettled, especially when meeting a stranger online, but she seems especially high risk in terms of drama and unpredictability because of how she's acted. But, if that's your thing (and it very well may be for TunaintheBrine, it is for many guys) then keep playing along with the game. It may be fun. To me, she's a silly young girl who's playing a game. People who genuinely have rape fantasies (and I'm not convinced this girl does) are usually oblivious to the realities of rape, and have never known anyone who was raped. (To be clear, they aren't fantasising about ACTUALLY getting raped, but about some person they know and care for, PRETENDING to do that in a safe environment. It's really just about being overpowered by a strong man, and NOTHING to do with the reality of rape.) Back to this girl. She's clearly gotten carried away with the questions, and wants to present herself as "adventurous and sexy" Instead, people like the OP and others here have taken this as a sign she's a desperate, troubled, ex porn star with a history of abuse and sexual depravity. Jesus H Christ on a stick! Look at the one thing we DO know abut this girl..she REFUSED a kiss on the first date. That's ALL we know for sure. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 my question is, do people actually read those questions on OKcupid? Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 To me, she's a silly young girl who's playing a game. If nothing else, this sounds right on. She puts herself "out there" in such a way, a guy comes long wanting to cash in on it, and she's bewildered? Something just ain't right. BTW, I hope I'm wrong and wish the OP luck. However, how can one post such lurid details about a lady on a public forum and not expect any sort of speculation? You take all the fun outta the innernet. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 **I think the problem is, since she's seemed so contradictory, you don't really know what the truth is with her or which direction the truth is going in.** And that's a very unsettling place to be. Now most people are going to feel a lesser degree of unsettled, especially when meeting a stranger online, but she seems especially high risk in terms of drama and unpredictability because of how she's acted. But, if that's your thing (and it very well may be for TunaintheBrine, it is for many guys) then keep playing along with the game. It may be fun. Popsicle, NO ONE ever knows what the truth is with someone or in which direction anything is going after only one date....regardless of whether or not they're contradictory. That's why you continue dating them, to find out. Tuna on your next date, if there is a next date, why not ask her about the way she answered those questions? Surely, she shoudn't be uncomfortable answering since she felt comfortable enough to post those answers on an international dating site in the first place, right? So ask! Why are people so damn afraid to communicate with each other? That what you do when getting to know someone....you ask them questions! Again, if she felt comfortable enough posting those answers on an international dating site, she shouldn't be put off by your wanting to talk about it. Maybe it was a joke...who knows! Anything is possible, just ask. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Popsicle, NO ONE ever knows what the truth is with someone or in which direction anything is going after only one date. That's why you continue dating them, to find out. Yes, I already mentioned that in my post, but people usually don't contradict themselves so boldly. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Yes, I already mentioned that in my post, but people usually don't contradict themselves so boldly. Fine, all the more reason to ask then..... Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 my question is, do people actually read those questions on OKcupid? YES I can assure you the first thing I do is check out the Q&A's section. I do look to the sex questions, the simple act of answering them at least tells me the girl is not a super prude..if nothing else. Link to post Share on other sites
casey.lives Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 because some women are promiscuous with men they don't like and then when they meet one who seems promising they pretend to be more virginal then they actually are. she might like you more than just a hit and quit it Link to post Share on other sites
endlessabyss Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I'm trying to wrap my head around what to do with this one. I met up with a woman today for our first date. We bounced around and visited a few spots. I tried to kiss her after an hour, but she pulled away and accused me of moving too fast. By the end of the date, I was stroking her hair and she had asked to hold my hand while we walked outside. I took it as a sign and tried to kiss her one last time, but again, she said I was moving too fast. I can completely respect when someone wants to take things slow, but what confuses me is how insanely sexual her questions are in her online dating profile. She herself seems to move very fast and be more sexually driven than anything. Part of me thinks maybe she was like that and is now trying to go in the opposite direction since she wants something long-term, but I don't know for sure. Anyway, I'm just trying to figure out how to progress from here. I'm almost worried if I try to kiss her on the second date now she's going to get pissed or something. She seemed to really take offense today, yet she kept wanting to spend time with me and go different places. So strange. Damn, I always thought women liked alphas, who are aggressive, and go in for what they want. This has thrown a wrench in that theory. I don't know where to move from here? Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Damn, I always thought women liked alphas, who are aggressive, and go in for what they want. This has thrown a wrench in that theory. I don't know where to move from here? I know you're just joking, but that does not an Alpha make. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 my question is, do people actually read those questions on OKcupid? I didn't when I was on there. Nor did I answer mine. I only answered the basic demographic questions. Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I didn't when I was on there. Nor did I answer mine. I only answered the basic demographic questions. You missed out on some fun! Some of those questions are hilariously bad... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Thinking positively....the fact she answered those questions in the first place indicates she's open minded, an individualist who doesn't conform to rules. My bf and I had sex the first night, not within an hour of meeting....lol, but the first night nevertheless. So I would have answered yes to that question. But still, I can count on one hand how many men I have had sex with in my life. So you can't really surmise anything from reading answers like that...IMO. Ask!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Oh come on, he doesn't have to "walk away and never contact her again" What is it with this forum, so she wasn't ready for a kiss on the first date, that's NOT unusual. Does she like this guy? I don't know. But to simply jump to the conclusion to just give up is a bit extreme. In this case, I think it's warranted. I mean it's one thing to be an optimist. But blind optimism where you ignore the obvious is acting naive IMO. I mean she kiss rejected him not once, but twice. Do you honestly believe those are the actions of a woman that's interested? In the end, actions are what speak the loudest IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 (edited) In this case, I think it's warranted. I mean it's one thing to be an optimist. But blind optimism where you ignore the obvious is acting naive IMO. I mean she kiss rejected him not once, but twice. Do you honestly believe those are the actions of a woman that's interested? In the end, actions are what speak the loudest IMO. Is taking a man's hand, standing close. and pushing to prolong the date the actions of a woman who is *not* interested? We're you there on the date with them? Fact is, you have absolutely no idea how this chick feels about him .... or what her motives were for not kissing him...and neither does he. That's why he asks her out again.....to find about! Edited July 6, 2015 by katiegrl 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author TunaInTheBrine Posted July 6, 2015 Author Share Posted July 6, 2015 I'm surprised how much of a frenzy this thread is sending some people into. Hot topic, I guess. I'm probably just going to call her in a couple of days and ask her out again, and see how that goes. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 In this case, I think it's warranted. I mean it's one thing to be an optimist. But blind optimism where you ignore the obvious is acting naive IMO. I mean she kiss rejected him not once, but twice. Do you honestly believe those are the actions of a woman that's interested? In the end, actions are what speak the loudest IMO. What, warranted to not even ask her out again... Wow, dude, I hope you've found your one true love...because you're gonna find it hard to find another one with that attitude. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I'm surprised how much of a frenzy this thread is sending some people into. Hot topic, I guess. I'm probably just going to call her in a couple of days and ask her out again, and see how that goes. Good Idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 She might be very sexual, but just not with you. She's just not that into you. If she does not want to kiss you on date one, she probably never will. No problem - there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and you only need one good one. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 She might be very sexual, but just not with you. She's just not that into you. If she does not want to kiss you on date one, she probably never will. No problem - there are plenty of other fish in the sea, and you only need one good one. Full stop!!! Gary, please read ALL the details of their date, and stop focusing on the fact she didn't feel comfortable kissing him.. It was one date for crying out loud... There could be a million reasons for her not kissing him.....sheesh! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 Okay katie, I'll read more... but I warn you, that might not change my opinion.... after all, you know how good my reading comprehension is.... are ya laughin' yet?! Link to post Share on other sites
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