Phoe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Phoe, So you're ok with wasting someone's time and your own on the chance the guy decides not to see you again if he's not atracted physically in person. Ok Is that a risk? Yes. That is ALWAYS a risk. I could've posted every photo of myself I've ever taken, in every pose possible, and a man could still be underwhelmed once he sees me in person. This is a risk that anyone takes on OLD. Posting a body photo guarantees nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 1. Guys who are into "cuddling" or who make what they think are clever references to their interest in oral sex. 2. Guys posting with a car/boat/plane/etc., or, conversely, guys who have cropped out the other person in the picture (a previous gf maybe?) 3. Angry guys. Try OKCupid, where you can answer explicit questions about your sexual preferences. And, what's wrong with "cuddling" would you rather have a guy who f#cks you, then rolls over and sleeps without touching you? Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Phoe, So you're ok with wasting someone's time and your own on the chance the guy decides not to see you again if he's not atracted physically in person. Ok Saying no to a date with Phoe (or a second) is like saying no thanks to a free suitcase full of gold bars and diamonds. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Is that a risk? Yes. That is ALWAYS a risk. I could've posted every photo of myself I've ever taken, in every pose possible, and a man could still be underwhelmed once he sees me in person. This is a risk that anyone takes on OLD. Posting a body photo guarantees nothing. Shrug I'd rather minimize the chance of time wasting and be upfront with an upfront woman. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Men who put a high priority on body, or who thought I was lying and hiding something, clearly did not message me. That worked out just fine, honestly. I was messaged by men who focused on my other qualities. Kaylan, had you seen me on OLD, you would not have messaged me. And that's okay, it's simply an incompatibility that would be avoided from the get go. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Saying no to a date with Phoe (or a second) is like saying no thanks to a free suitcase full of gold bars and diamonds. Aww, Keenly, that made me smile! Thank you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author kaylan Posted July 1, 2015 Author Share Posted July 1, 2015 Still shrugging despite keenly's comments. :-P I just have a "too many fish in the sea" outlook. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Still shrugging despite keenly's comments. :-P I just have a "too many fish in the sea" outlook. I only want one fish. The rest can tread water Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Still shrugging despite keenly's comments. :-P I just have a "too many fish in the sea" outlook. Yes, but you need meet all the fish, get to know them, see if there's any chemistry, attraction, a possible future together. And very little in an online profile can tell you that...not the photos, not the few short paragraphs attempting to summarise the intricacies of a human being's personality, not the cute surveys, compatibility matrixes, or Q&A's. They may guide you, give you a basic understanding, but you HAVE TO MEET THEM, as many as are willing to. Yes, you'll spend a lot of time drinking coffees with people you are never go to see again...but you might also meet the love of your life. And you won't know that because she scored 94% compatibility rating...or 45%... Link to post Share on other sites
lino Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Ha ha...this is great. I think there should be a book published dealing with this subject. Here's some things that always alert my radar: -Pouting lips. It's a woman, no it's a fish, it's...Supermodel... -Aerial boob shot and/or hoisting of boobage where there is none. -Gratuitous tattoo reveal. OK, so you're really proud of that tattoo of a seahorse on the underside of your upper arm, but the way you're holding your arm in that photo makes it clear THIS is the most interesting part about you. -List of interests that exhibit linear association and little variation. Ex: "I love music---Radiohead, Thom Yorke, Interpol, Joy Division, The Smiths, New Order, Depeche Mode etc." This indicates they were either too lazy to think of things they like that aren't customarily grouped together or they just consider culture in drab and sheepish terms. -List of interests that are so obscure and high-brow, you wonder if this person sh;ts Faberge eggs. Just be real. You can like Jean-Luc Godard and Good Times without consequence. *Pardon these last two folks---I deal with a lot of this in NYC. -Multiple pet shots. I'm glad you care for your animal, now detach it from your navel. -As Kaylan posted, anything that attempts to preemptively draw lines in the sand. You should be intelligent enough to discern if I'm only interested in getting into your pants. You should be intelligent enough to discern that I'm only interested in playing xBox. Hilarious! Well done Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Men who put a high priority on body... The only reason why this would concern you is if you're insecure about your body. Men care about our figures, just as much as our faces, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Attraction is based in part on the physical, there's no way around that. Are you going to take down your face picture too? I mean, shouldn't you, since you're so worried about them valuing your appearance? 3 Link to post Share on other sites
yxalitis Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 The only reason why this would concern you is if you're insecure about your body. Men care about our figures, just as much as our faces, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Attraction is based in part on the physical, there's no way around that. Are you going to take down your face picture too? I mean, shouldn't you, since you're so worried about them valuing your appearance? I kind of agree on this, if you have a nice body, show it, you should be proud of keeping yourself fit. Whoever you decide to meet, will see your body when they meet you anyway, right? Unless you plan on turning up to the first date in a MuuMuu... Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 The only reason why this would concern you is if you're insecure about your body. Men care about our figures, just as much as our faces, and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Attraction is based in part on the physical, there's no way around that. Are you going to take down your face picture too? I mean, shouldn't you, since you're so worried about them valuing your appearance? Sure, I've got insecurities about my body, it's not perfect. And I'm not condemning men for being attracted to women's bodies, it's natural. I did not want to post body pictures, and if men chose not to talk to me because of that, that's okay. The men who did message me, were okay with me not having those photos up. It all worked out fine. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I kind of agree on this, if you have a nice body, show it, you should be proud of keeping yourself fit. Whoever you decide to meet, will see your body when they meet you anyway, right? Unless you plan on turning up to the first date in a MuuMuu... It really doesn't matter what someone thinks I "should" do. I did not want to post body photos, so I didn't. Simple. Doesn't make me a liar. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Men who put a high priority on body. Guys are visual. It's just the way it is. To try and deny that and fight the system is only you being naive IMO. I mean even if they can't see your body in photos, they're still going to be checking the goods out in person. Besides, based on how much effort and pride you put into your health/fitness, you obviously care about looking your best. So I wouldn't say to show your body to appease guys, but more to take pride in your hard work. Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 If every picture of her seems to be her drunk at a club If she says she is tired of players who mistreat women. In other words she is actually very attracted to these kinds of men If she talks about how strong and independent she is. Truly strong and independent women rarely advertise it to the world 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Keenly Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Even though Kaylan and Sycamore hit most of the big ones, I'll add a few Any woman who has a picture where her face is not the focus of the pic. If all I see if cleavage in the focal point of the photo, I move on. Any picture where the woman turns around to purposefully show her behind in the photo. I'll pass, thanks. Any profile that makes mention of a fictional character. So many women around here say they are looking for their own Christian Grey, or that idiot sparkly vampire from Twilight. Any woman who says they like a guy with tattoos. If the profile says anything about how they intimidate men, or they need a man who can keep up with them, or a man who can handle them, I stay away. And the absolute worst, when they quote Marilyn Monroe. As if she is the one to take relationship advice from. Oh god.I hate the phrase " handle me " Why do I have to handle a woman, can't she handle herself? I'm not here to handle, I'm here to appreciate. Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Interesting thread. Off the top of my head, general turn-offs to me in female OLD profiles include: - Talks about herself but mentions nothing about what or who she is looking for (indicators of entitlement or narcissism) - Profile is completely empty or contains less than a decent summary - Lacks any substance or depth to personality (e.g. no mention of personal values), but has lots of one-liner bullet points that read more like a series of Twitter updates than it does a dating profile - Tries to be one of these "I'm so ridiculous and bratty" types that I can even hear the upspeak in her typing! - Takes photos with other men - Cleavage shots, kissy face shots, high angle shots, swimsuit shots, 'accidental' body revealing shots (e.g. headstand where the shirt is lifted is a popular one), or anything else that self-objectifies My favorite profiles are the ones that sound sincere, give me some sense of who she is (values, hobbies, life experiences) and what kind of relationship/partner she is looking for, a handful of good photos, and sense of emotional maturity. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Guys are visual. It's just the way it is. To try and deny that and fight the system is only you being naive IMO. I mean even if they can't see your body in photos, they're still going to be checking the goods out in person. Besides, based on how much effort and pride you put into your health/fitness, you obviously care about looking your best. So I wouldn't say to show your body to appease guys, but more to take pride in your hard work. I don't have qualms about men being attracted to a woman's body, or "checking me out" in person, I just didn't have interest in men who make it the absolute #1 make or break quality to the point that if there is no photo to "prove" that I'm average, I'm not worth talking to. I wasn't comfortable posting body photos. That doesn't make me some horrendous lying wildabeast. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I don't have qualms about men being attracted to a woman's body, or "checking me out" in person, I just didn't have interest in men who make it the absolute #1 make or break quality to the point that if there is no photo to "prove" that I'm average, I'm not worth talking to. I wasn't comfortable posting body photos. That doesn't make me some horrendous lying wildabeast. I'm a guy, and an attractive one at that. I don't care if there are any body shots at all. I look at the body type description and go off of that. As long as a woman is not larger than me, I have no particular preferences on shape or anything. The main thing I look for is what kind of person she seems to be and what kind of relationship she is looking for. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) I'm a guy, and an attractive one at that. I don't care if there are any body shots at all. I look at the body type description and go off of that. As long as a woman is not larger than me, I have no particular preferences on shape or anything. The main thing I look for is what kind of person she seems to be and what kind of relationship she is looking for. Haha.. I've met so many women who claimed to be "curvy" and a "few extra lbs" in person that wound up being HUGE (250-300lbs easy). Ironically, I prefer women who carry a bit extra. I find it sexy and feminine. But I hate having my time wasted and being lied to. Since online dating is essentially flying blind, the least a person can do is provide accurate photos and an honest description to give an informed decision. Now I'm sure there are cases where a woman is in self denial. She genuinely believes she is "curvy" and hears it all the time from those close to her who'd rather be nice than honest. "Mom am I fat?" "Oh stop it honey. You're curvy and real men love curves", etc.. But most of the time, women that false advertise know exactly what they hell they're doing. Somewhat recently I saw a woman's OLD profile where she claimed to have an "athletic" body type. Yet there were no full body pics and she had a noticeable double chin in all her facial shots. I'm sorry, but on what planet does being heavy enough to have a double chin mean that you have an athletic frame? Edited July 1, 2015 by fitnessfan365 Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Haha.. I've met so many women who claimed to be "curvy" and a "few extra lbs" in person that wound up being HUGE (250-300lbs easy). Ironically, I prefer women who carry a bit extra. I find it sexy and feminine. But I hate having my time wasted and being lied to. Since online dating is essentially flying blind, the least a person can do is provide accurate photos and an honest description to give an informed decision. Now I'm sure there are cases where a woman is in self denial. She genuinely believes she is "curvy" and hears it all the time from those close to her who'd rather be nice than honest. "Mom am I fat?" "Oh stop it honey. You're curvy and real men love curves", etc.. But most of the time, women that false advertise know exactly what they hell they're doing. Somewhat recently I saw a woman's OLD profile where she claimed to have an "athletic" body type. Yet there were no full body pics and she had a noticeable double chin in all her facial shots. I'm sorry, but on what planet does being heavy enough to have a double chin mean that you have an athletic frame? I put "average" in my description. No chance of someone misinterpreting that. All the other descriptions can be easily misconstrued. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I put "average" in my description. No chance of someone misinterpreting that. All the other descriptions can be easily misconstrued. Based on how hard you workout and care about your health, I'm guessing your body is anything but average. However, the one bright side is a guy will always be pleasantly surprised in the end. Pre Date : Guy 1 : Dude, good luck on your date tonight. Guy 2 : I don't know man, she only showed her face. Guy 1 : Ouch, she'll probably be HUGE. Guy 2 : Tell me about it. Haha Post Date : Guy 2 : She was not only awesome, but had the sexiest body. Guy 1 : Dude, you just hit the online facial lottery. Guy 2 : I know man, I was so relieved! Usually face only = fat..LOL! :laugh::D Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Haha.. I've met so many women who claimed to be "curvy" and a "few extra lbs" in person that wound up being HUGE (250-300lbs easy). Ironically, I prefer women who carry a bit extra. I find it sexy and feminine. But I hate having my time wasted and being lied to. Since online dating is essentially flying blind, the least a person can do is provide accurate photos and an honest description to give an informed decision. Now I'm sure there are cases where a woman is in self denial. She genuinely believes she is "curvy" and hears it all the time from those close to her who'd rather be nice than honest. "Mom am I fat?" "Oh stop it honey. You're curvy and real men love curves", etc.. But most of the time, women that false advertise know exactly what they hell they're doing. Somewhat recently I saw a woman's OLD profile where she claimed to have an "athletic" body type. Yet there were no full body pics and she had a noticeable double chin in all her facial shots. I'm sorry, but on what planet does being heavy enough to have a double chin mean that you have an athletic frame? I hear ya. I generally expect that most people will exaggerate where possible in order to improve their odds in the mating game, but for me (a fit/slender male), dating someone who is heavier is out of the question. Because 'average' usually means packing a few extra pounds, I don't even check it anymore in my search criteria. But yeah, I've met some women who say they are "athletic" but have a beer gut when I meet them. Unreal. Link to post Share on other sites
Rejected Rosebud Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 -Aerial boob shot and/or hoisting of boobage where there is none. I think we covered this some other time but just to clear it up for me, is hoisting generous boobage ok, just not hoisting lesser boobage? -List of interests that exhibit linear association and little variation. Ex: "I love music---Radiohead, Thom Yorke, Interpol, Joy Division, The Smiths, New Order, Depeche Mode etc." This indicates they were either too lazy to think of things they like that aren't customarily grouped together or they just consider culture in drab and sheepish terms. I get that!! :bunny: -List of interests that are so obscure and high-brow, you wonder if this person sh;ts Faberge eggs. Just be real. You can like Jean-Luc Godard and Good Times without consequence. But :( now you lost me. Because you don't like the generic lists but you also don't like the unique lists - so you just want girls with interests and tastes that are exactly in between those?? :confused: Just clear that stuff up for me please I need your help!! I never online dated so I don't have any do's or don'ts of my own on this matter! Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts