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girlfriends break during exams: Led me to false hope.


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I've blocked the rest of the family. Mother, brother, and so on... All friends, and stuff. She will notice sooner or later... What do I do from now on? just enjoy life?

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Been a couple of days since I've blocked all our mutual friends and her family. It just feels like a new life. Honestly. Atm I feel happy?

I go to the gym 3 times a week, doing my first bulk haha. I've started my singing lessons again, and im seeing Seether live on Monday. Can't wait man!!

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  • 3 weeks later...
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guys... I've been thinking about something.

 

What if there actually is something wrong? I mean like mentally? A depression or whatever? Is this then "normal" behaviour? Or...

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6 weeks ago, my girlfriend told me that she wanted a break, because she had her exams coming up. In the beginning, I panicked. Really, I couldn't believe it. Everything was going so well... Anyways, I went to her house to pick up some of my stuff, and she said that she just couldn't cope with a relationship during these times. I couldn't really do much more than just except it, so I tried. I did all the typical begging and so on, on the bus drive home, but I found out quickly, that is just wasn't worth it. In the mean time, the place I work at, there is a guy, who my ex-girlfriend met in town, back when we were together. Suddenly they were talking all the time. I confronted her, and asked her if it was because of him she wanted this break, but she just came back straight away saying:"Omg no, I was just asking him something". So.. I had to believe her. I began to see loads of pictures of her going into town suddenly, with her girlfriends, AND that guy from my work. So that didn't help.

During her exams she would sometimes text me, saying stuff like;"I know things are bad now, but they will get better - I love you", "Gosh I miss you :'( - I miss you so much", "Wait for me",

Then one day I get a text from her saying that she can't cope anymore, and she needs me to come to her house, so I do.

the first thing she does when she sees me, is to give me a massive hug, tells me how much she has missed me, and that she loves me, and then she kissed me. We then spoke about it, and she told me stuff like;"Ofc we are going to continue as a couple","You're the one I want to be with"... That made me happy. She still said that she couldn't really be in contact during these exams, as she really needs to get her head around them. Fair enough. I would ask about that guy from work, but she guaranteed that there WAS nothing going on. They just met at the same place. So I had to believe that...

2 weeks later (last thursday) I get a text saying she wants to pick her stuff up, as she doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore, but she didn't want to lose contact with me... I couldn't believe it. I've been waiting 6 weeks for this girl. She put me through hell these weeks. I've done EVERYTHING she asked me to do. promising me we would get back together... and I get this? I didn't feel as SAD as I thought I would. I was more disappointed and angry. I then decided just to accept it, and go NC. I had been NC for around 4 days and I get 2 texts from her:

You told me that I knew where to find you, but you haven't been online on whatsapp for 4 days now, and you've blocked me on facebook? What is going on? :( - I'd just like to know how to get hold of you when so?"

I didn't reply to that. It was tempting, but I didnt. Yesterday at work, she then rang me, but i didn't answer. I feel treated like ****. Honestly... I feel like texting her saying something like: "Honestly I don't want to be in contact. You f**cked me up completely. I have nothing more to say."

 

Should I do that, or should I leave it?

 

Hey Gingerloks, You totally did the right thing. Keep your cool, don't seem desperate and feel obligated to respond to her messages. She did you wrong and she needs to learn a lesson.

.

I would totally forget about her. I know you are young 21, but their will be many girls coming your way. Just keep focusing on yourself and being happy.

 

Hopes that help

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guys... I've been thinking about something.

 

What if there actually is something wrong? I mean like mentally? A depression or whatever? Is this then "normal" behaviour? Or...

 

It doesn't matter.

 

Look, she is not the devil. She is just a young selfish confused girl, who doesn't care if other people will suffer to supply her needs.

 

She might change with the years and experience in life, or she might not! She may be in some kind of depression, it's her problem. Why would you agree to be with someone who treats you like Sh*t, no matter what her reasons are.

 

My guess is just she thought she can play with you like a puppy. And when she realised you have balls, she still wanted to play, so she just increased her attitude just a bit...

 

When it did not work, she changed her strategy and told you she wants you back, but only because her ego was hurt. She can't stand the thought that you don't want her. She wants to be the one who is dumping you, or keep playing you.

 

The minute you tell her "I love you and i take you back", you can set the clock. I give it something between 2 hours to 2 weeks till she tells you again that "she is not sure..."

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thanks for all your input man.

 

And yeah. You guys are right though.... I just find it all weird. She still haven't send my stuff, still haven't asked for her stuff....

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emotional_particle
Does that maybe mean something?

 

dude, stop tricking your brain into having hopes for reconciliation or starting a new amazing relationship with her all changed to your likings.

it won't happen you're doing great don't screw this.

 

this is my 4th day recovering from a relationship with a cheating gf and i'm already 70-80% over her. the way i see it is: in life you don't get what you want, you get what you deserve. just move forward you're way too young and you have a lot of way better girls waiting for you ahead of your life.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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She is not worth it, is she?

 

You have to ask....? :confused:

 

You cannot base or build your happiness on the shoulders of someone else. If she's not in your life, she's not going to be the one to make you happy.

 

And even if she were, you would have to prioritise your own level-headedness and contentment, and stabilise your own serenity, for yourself.

 

We cannot completely love someone, to the best of our ability, if we ourselves lack the resources - within ourselves - to reach an optimum level of acceptance, and happiness.

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I mean like.. after what she has done to me. I shouldn't go thinking about the little things to hang onto, should I?

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Oh man this resonates. We actually had a great day together but she was feeling a little ill so I was careful not to smother her with affection, she didn't want to cuddle etc. the next morning and I assumed it was because she was sick. For the whole week she said she was too tired and ill for visitors even when I offered to help. She starts feeling better. I find out she goes and hangs out with an old friend who returned to town after a trip...I had no idea of this. And then ...well basically, when they're stressed or sick and push you away, that's a warning sign. They should be appreciative and glad for your company in time of need.

They should also want to make the effort. I know I would have gone through heaven and hell to get my work done or made her the first thing I saw when I got better, because I would want to see her.

I would have worked for her. She (and your lady) didn't want to put in any effort for us. In fact they found us burdens...

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  • 2 weeks later...
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Gosh, I've had a **** day. Don't know why I've thought about her so much... She does not deserve my energy? I will never forgive her for what she has done. But why do I still think about her?

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Because we find shelter in the familiar.

It is why people with depression keep focussing on the 'down'.

It's what they know best.

Looking 'up' is an alien concept, and scares the hell out of them.

 

You have to change your mindset, and where you choose to 'look'.

 

Down - or up?

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Your GF (ex) left you for another man, and then lied to you about it, pretending that was not what she was doing.

 

If you continue to indulge her or talk to her, or respond to her in ANY way, you are a sucker. A chump. A man who allows himself to be played. A man who has no self-respect and who views himself as an option, a backup plan.

 

So you can either continue to be her plaything for when she gets bored - and she will get bored often, as she has the mentality of a selfish child - or you can excuse yourself from playing HER game.

 

It is time to make your own life now, a new life, one that she does not get to be a part of. In doing so you will discover a newfound sense of self-respect that is foreign even to you. In time, this will attract others - not just women, but people who want to be in your life.

 

The days of this emotional child controlling your mental state are OVER, as of today.

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I've just received a text from a friend of mine, saying that she contacted him and asked how I was, and that she wanted to talk to me... What do I do?

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Guys, I need some advice!

 

So yesterday, I texted her, after long thinking about it, just saying "What?"... She came back to me this morning saying that she was working, but she would talk to me right after work, around 22:00. I feel like an idiot now, for having texted her. Should I just block her number now, so I don't get to see her text, and keep it like that?

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Well, I can tell you this... I just scanned through this thread and noticed it started in June with the same crap from her. It's now September, (soon to be October) which means you just wasted 3 months of your life you will never get back. But go ahead and wait for her, maybe before you get grey, she will come around.

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I was told today by a friend, that she had overheard my EX telling a bunch of her girlfriends that I'm never going to get better than her. Im like... WHAT?! After what you put me through, nearly everyone is better?

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  • 4 weeks later...
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hey man.

Was scrolling through random pictures on instagram, and I saw one picture with a quote, so i clicked it to read, and to my surprise, it was posted by my ex. Something negative, and that she was the better person, even though what she did, was out of order. Now, I'm thinking that they are all regarded towards me. But why do exes do that? is she desperatelly trying to console herself that her dumping me was the best thing that ever happened to her?

Edited by Gingerlocks
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Why were you scrolling through "random pictures" on your ex-girlfriend's Instagram?

 

Perhaps she feels justified in her decision to end the relationship, or she is engaging in psychological projection. It doesn't matter, though. She is your ex-girlfriend.

Edited by Lilac Love
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That's what people do.... try to make themselves feel better about why a relationship ended. There's a plethora of meme's out there that prove this. I deserve better, one door closes, another opens, sometimes you have to walk away from the drama, blah, blah, blah.

 

It's not uncommon. Exes are exes for a reason. No matter what the reason is, there is always a reason. Some people can't be honest with themselves that maybe THEY were the reason it didn't work out.

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