Almost 30 and never dated is it weird

[ZA Dater]

You're right. If you look at statistics, single women disappear (get married) in their early to mid 20's. It's their peak attractiveness and they take advantage of it. Men typically don't go off the market until their early 30's (also generally their peak). Single women start appearing again in their later 30s once they get divorced.

 

Single, attractive women around age 27 are difficult to find because they are taken of the market, thus one reason why men end up having to date down to girls in their early 20s before they get snatched up. Then the men get shamed by the newly single 38 y/o woman with 3 kids, limited time, and a body that she let go of 10 years earlier.

 

This post scares me.

[logan415]

I am 31 and have never dated and I also lulled myself into a mind set like yours, numerous times I contemplated flying to the US simply to try and date there because my luck here is so extremely bad.

 

Why didn't I? Simple, cost versus benefit, so I fly to the US, meet someone fantastic then I have to fly home, so what's the point.

 

Its like walking into a confectionary store, ordering the best chocolate and then having to 100 miles to fetch the money.

 

I'd strongly suggest you DONT fly to meet this lady.

 

The idea was to see how we connect and then if its a good connection I was going to have her come to the US. It sounds crazy and I know but I'm going to be 29 years old next month and my romance and love life window is closing fast. So I want to find another way of meeting a woman. This girl made the first move by messaging me first. So I knew at some level she had some attraction.

 

I'm on OkCupid American dating website but all I have is women just view my page and some will hit the like button but I never get messaged. I don't know maybe Russian women are much bold than American women or I could appear exotic to them.

[cessna]

When I was on POF I limited my searches to a 25 mile radius around my city. Please don't fly all the way to Belarus to meet this woman (if she even is a woman or even exists).

 

You're 28, not 58. Get a bit of perspective here.

 

Say you fly out there and you meet her (that's a big if) and you get on great (even bigger if) then what? She flies out to the US? Then you fly back out to Belarus?

 

Can't you see how ridiculous this all is?

 

I can almost guarantee you'll be left out of pocket and disappointed. You say the girls local to you don't like you, why do you think it will be any different on another continent? Keep looking closer to home.

[Krieger]

OP is your life in order? Got a career or a good job? Do you have any goals in life?

 

I am in the same boat but I have been going back to college for the 2nd time and putting in work . My dead end job there is no suck thiing as retairement you work until your 60 than they cut your hours to one day a week and good luck living on 16 hours a month.

 

Back to my point get your life in order if it is no in order.

 

Also do not worry about what woman think if they do not like it there problem not yours .

 

If no woman wants to give me the time of day once a finish college or when in college it is ok. I just so hook up with 21/22 year old the ones that would not give me the time of day when I was that age .

 

I much rather have my dream job or a career I wanted to have vs a GF if I had to pick I would pick career hands down I can always buy a GF online.

Edited June 23, 2015 by Krieger

[ZA Dater]

The idea was to see how we connect and then if its a good connection I was going to have her come to the US. It sounds crazy and I know but I'm going to be 29 years old next month and my romance and love life window is closing fast. So I want to find another way of meeting a woman. This girl made the first move by messaging me first. So I knew at some level she had some attraction.

 

I'm on OkCupid American dating website but all I have is women just view my page and some will hit the like button but I never get messaged. I don't know maybe Russian women are much bold than American women or I could appear exotic to them.

 

I wouldn't do it, why would you msg you and nobody else did? I had females msg me from strange places like belerus and I don't jump on planes to see them, why because 9 out of 10 times a conversation with them reveals its a scam.

 

 

It seems to me you are not proactive at OLD, don't wait for them to msg you, you must msg them!

 

 

When does a romance/love life window close....curious to know.

[elaine567]

Where There Are More Single Men Than Women in the US - CityLab

[Gary S]

If you travel there to meet her, tell her you would move in and live with her and her 16 other relatives to check her true intentions.

[WomenWubber]

I will be 30 next year and never dated or have any form of relationship in my life. However, I think my dating drought is coming to an end as I met a lady from Belarus from an online dating website. We been talking for a while and saving up for my trip to go see her. I’m curious how common is for a guy my age in today society to never had dated? I have heard from other people that dating society in America is really bad where both sides place too many rules on each other and therefore cannot bond. My issue is no one was never interested in me until I met this lady overseas, and she message me first and she said my profile was interesting. I guess my love life is overseas.

 

You don't seem to understand the risk you're taking with this approach.

 

Stop for a moment and think it out before going ahead with this.

[PogoStick]

I also cannot tell you whether she is legit or not. You need to do your due diligence.

 

However, I can tell you there is a common fake approach where she contacts you first and says, "your profile is interesting, I'm not on here much so email me at xyz..."

 

I've even had a scammer run a fake skype session with me. There was video but no sound, said her mic was broken. I realized they were just running a video of a girl as she would ignore any request like "wave to the screen, show me two fingers".

 

Also, any profile or response that talks about being "god-fearing" is an instant flag of a scammer. I don't know why but they love using that word.

[logan415]

When I was on POF I limited my searches to a 25 mile radius around my city. Please don't fly all the way to Belarus to meet this woman (if she even is a woman or even exists).

 

You're 28, not 58. Get a bit of perspective here.

 

Say you fly out there and you meet her (that's a big if) and you get on great (even bigger if) then what? She flies out to the US? Then you fly back out to Belarus?

 

Can't you see how ridiculous this all is?

 

I can almost guarantee you'll be left out of pocket and disappointed. You say the girls local to you don't like you, why do you think it will be any different on another continent? Keep looking closer to home.

 

Its becuase I get messages. I also met a Polish woman online too. I also had few Russian girls from Russia message me too. I had one lady from the Philippines message me as well but none from the US which is why I'm looking for women abroad and not local anymore.

 

Girls in America are just too pickt. I'm not perfect guy but I know I can be a great guy and potentially great husband.

[logan415]

OP is your life in order? Got a career or a good job? Do you have any goals in life?

 

I am in the same boat but I have been going back to college for the 2nd time and putting in work . My dead end job there is no suck thiing as retairement you work until your 60 than they cut your hours to one day a week and good luck living on 16 hours a month.

 

Back to my point get your life in order if it is no in order.

 

Also do not worry about what woman think if they do not like it there problem not yours .

 

If no woman wants to give me the time of day once a finish college or when in college it is ok. I just so hook up with 21/22 year old the ones that would not give me the time of day when I was that age .

 

I much rather have my dream job or a career I wanted to have vs a GF if I had to pick I would pick career hands down I can always buy a GF online.

 

I graduated from a University last year in the fall with a Bachelor of Science. I'm currently working in San Francisco and looking for my career job.

[GravityMan]

You seem desperate, logan. Desperation can lead a person towards making bad (or worse, dangerous) decisions and mistakes with his or her life. Including decisions that may have financial, mental or physical repercussions for years.

 

Listen to the advice elaine and cessna gave you. I don't like the sound of this Belarus "opportunity" at all.

 

Do you have friends (especially female friends) in your local area? Friends that you actually spend time with outside of work/school/etc, doing activities and events that you enjoy...i.e. a social life? If not, try to get out there more. Having a social circle and a willingness to go out in public and do fun things will increase your chances of meeting someone in your backyard, and it will make you more interesting and possibly more attractive to (some) others.

 

Meeting a decent woman in her mid-late 20s or early 30s in San Francisco (or any other urban area in the US) should not be difficult, nor require all that much effort. The vast majority of men who are still single at that age - even those who work 100+ hrs/week or are on the quiet side or whatever - don't have much trouble finding women to date.

Edited June 24, 2015 by GravityMan
typo

[logan415]

You seem desperate, logan. Desperation can lead a person towards making bad (or worse, dangerous) decisions and mistakes with his or her life. Including decisions that may have financial, mental or physical repercussions for years.

 

Listen to the advice elaine and cessna gave you. I don't like the sound of this Belarus "opportunity" at all.

 

Do you have friends (especially female friends) in your local area? Friends that you actually spend time with outside of work/school/etc, doing activities and events that you enjoy...i.e. a social life? If not, try to get out there more. Having a social circle and a willingness to go out in public and do fun things will increase your chances of meeting someone in your backyard, and it will make you more interesting and possibly more attractive to (some) others.

 

Meeting a decent woman in her mid-late 20s or early 30s in San Francisco (or any other urban area in the US) should not be difficult, nor require all that much effort. The vast majority of men who are still single at that age - even those who work 100+ hrs/week or are on the quiet side or whatever - don't have much trouble finding women to date.

 

For me it will be difficult to meet women here. The Belarusian girl said looks to her does not matter much which works for me since I'm not a good looking guy. She also has no relationship experience like me. Women at my location will not date me for one because lack of experience, I'm not the hot guy, I'm not the guy with a nice car, and I'm generally not the guy women want period.

Because of my lack of success here, I'm looking elsewhere for romantic relationships.

 

I do know there is a risk of going to see here and that is why I'm talking to her online and asking her lot of questions.

[ZA Dater]

For me it will be difficult to meet women here. The Belarusian girl said looks to her does not matter much which works for me since I'm not a good looking guy. She also has no relationship experience like me. Women at my location will not date me for one because lack of experience, I'm not the hot guy, I'm not the guy with a nice car, and I'm generally not the guy women want period.

Because of my lack of success here, I'm looking elsewhere for romantic relationships.

 

I do know there is a risk of going to see here and that is why I'm talking to her online and asking her lot of questions.

 

Clearly with a bachelor degree you are quite learned, what do you actually know about Belarus? I suggest you do some homework into the country and also realise as a US citizen you may not be very welcome there.

 

Kidnapping is one scenario which springs to mind with this whole exchange.

 

Ask yourself why she contacted you to begin with?

[Perrier]

OP everybody (bar one or two) is telling you the same thing. It is unwise to fly to Belarus solely to meet this woman. If you must go, how about combining it with a holiday/sightseeing etc with one or two friends?

 

Meeting this woman would then be incidental and not the focus of your trip. As I stated in my earlier post you don't even know where you're meeting her, which I'm surprised you don't seem to view as a red flag.

 

Have you skyped - seen her face in action, not just through emailing?

 

There must be ONE woman locally you can choose from, who isn't so 'picky' she would overlook you. As another poster said, improve your social life and get out there.

 

Waiting for women to msg you online is weak for a man and not proactive. Continue like that and you WILL end up flying all over the globe to meet women at your mental and financial expense.

Edited June 24, 2015 by Perrier

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

OP is your life in order? Got a career or a good job? Do you have any goals in life?

 

I am in the same boat but I have been going back to college for the 2nd time and putting in work . My dead end job there is no suck thiing as retairement you work until your 60 than they cut your hours to one day a week and good luck living on 16 hours a month.

 

Back to my point get your life in order if it is no in order.

 

Also do not worry about what woman think if they do not like it there problem not yours .

 

If no woman wants to give me the time of day once a finish college or when in college it is ok. I just so hook up with 21/22 year old the ones that would not give me the time of day when I was that age .

 

I much rather have my dream job or a career I wanted to have vs a GF if I had to pick I would pick career hands down I can always buy a GF online.

Well the OP is not getting any younger and the dating pool tends to shrink with age doesn't it?

[PogoStick]

I graduated from a University last year in the fall with a Bachelor of Science. I'm currently working in San Francisco and looking for my career job.

 

Hey I'm considering moving to the Bay next year! I can make some good money there but I am concerned about the dating scene. Way more men than women means it's not in my favor. How long have you lived there and what's your impression with dating there?

 

I'd probably pick something like Oakland or San Jose though.

[logan415]

Hey I'm considering moving to the Bay next year! I can make some good money there but I am concerned about the dating scene. Way more men than women means it's not in my favor. How long have you lived there and what's your impression with dating there?

 

I'd probably pick something like Oakland or San Jose though.

 

I grew up in the Bay Area and warn you the rent here is expensive so be prepared to shack with roommates. Dating is very hard here which is why I'm looking elsewhere for love.

[elaine567]

Belarus: The Land of Broken Marriages | Belarus Digest

[logan415]

Belarus: The Land of Broken Marriages | Belarus Digest

 

I'm aware of that. In Belarus men are violent, women are beaten by their huabands. Yes my income in Belarus will make me rich. Everyone wants to live a good life. I can marry an American woman but she will have expectations like the Belarusian woman but more.

 

I have nothing against American women but I virtually have given up. I have to be like the other guy. I'm a guy into science, and enjoy research and like playing tennis on weekends. How many American women want to be with a guy with a nerd background. None!! American women want the funny, cool, hot guy. I don't fit that description. American women are picky and I'm okay with it but that means I will leave the US to look for love.

[cessna]

I'm aware of that. In Belarus men are violent, women are beaten by their huabands. Yes my income in Belarus will make me rich. Everyone wants to live a good life. I can marry an American woman but she will have expectations like the Belarusian woman but more.

 

I have nothing against American women but I virtually have given up. I have to be like the other guy. I'm a guy into science, and enjoy research and like playing tennis on weekends. How many American women want to be with a guy with a nerd background. None!! American women want the funny, cool, hot guy. I don't fit that description. American women are picky and I'm okay with it but that means I will leave the US to look for love.

 

You say you've given up yet you're prepared to travel to another continent at great expense to meet a woman who very well may not even exist.

 

You like science and tennis? That sounds pretty normal to me mate. I'd love it if a woman was into science and tennis. I'd think 'great, we can talk about interesting stuff and I love sport so we can knock a few balls about on the court too'.

[Leigh 87]

You're right. If you look at statistics, single women disappear (get married) in their early to mid 20's. It's their peak attractiveness and they take advantage of it. Men typically don't go off the market until their early 30's (also generally their peak). Single women start appearing again in their later 30s once they get divorced.

 

Single, attractive women around age 27 are difficult to find because they are taken of the market, thus one reason why men end up having to date down to girls in their early 20s before they get snatched up. Then the men get shamed by the newly single 38 y/o woman with 3 kids, limited time, and a body that she let go of 10 years earlier.

 

I'm 29 with a slim body and 32 DDs.

 

My pics are in my profile. I'm not ugly. Straight teeth.

 

I'm single. My mate is a lot more attractive than me; she's single and my age.

 

She's fussy and I'm not.

[PogoStick]

Awesome Leigh, you're in high demand!

 

And yes, your teeth are quite straight, yet your head is all sideways.

[logan415]

You say you've given up yet you're prepared to travel to another continent at great expense to meet a woman who very well may not even exist.

 

You like science and tennis? That sounds pretty normal to me mate. I'd love it if a woman was into science and tennis. I'd think 'great, we can talk about interesting stuff and I love sport so we can knock a few balls about on the court too'.

 

I meant least in America to give up and try elsewhere.

[BronzeAgeJaeger217]

OP, my own perspective, is its more shocking to hear of a woman being single this long than for a guy