Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 OP, take all your money out of savings & put it somewhere safe. If you are on good terms with your family, have them rent a safe deposit box (SDB) with your or them listed as who can access it. You keep the keys. Pull out small amounts of funds at a time & put them into the SDB. Don't use the same bank as you have. Don't withdraw a lot at one time. Pull out small random amounts. When things go bad & the marriage fails, you will need that nest egg to start over. Your husband & his union is engaging in economic warfare upon you. You need to just stop & say no more. You should get divorced immediately for debt separation purposes, even if you want to stay with him. His debt & irresponsibly will drag you under. Stop enabling him financially. He will never be responsible with money. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Oh I KNOW he doesn't handle his money properly! He never has! I made $15/hr before I met him and lived very happily because I had so much savings. He's already talking about getting $100 worth of fireworks for the 4th of July! I told him "You aren't working and we have no extra money for anything and you want to get $100 worth of fireworks?!" He sheepishly goes "Well we have to celebrate America right?" Then he tells me he'll need help buying new leathers for his racing because they had to cut those off of him. They cost around $1500 and he expects me to "help" pay for them. Along with not handling his money well, they take $270 per paycheck for child support and almost every paycheck has money taken out for collections for something that occurred 15 years ago that they are STILL collecting on. Sometimes they take out up to $500 a check for that if he has a large check. Add to that another $130 a check for the loans from work, $70 for union dues, usually around $80 a check for cafeteria. I mean he COULD come home with nearly $3000 a check every 2 weeks if he didn't have any of this other crap. Yet when all is said and done, when he does work a full paycheck he'll come home with maybe $1600 and then that goes towards credit card bills, student loans and motorcycle crap and within about 5 days he's down to nothing. Look, I've already said all I need to about the money. The problem is your husband is a man-child. It wouldn't matter how much money he made, he'd always be wasting it. Move to a cheaper place in the country and you could support your own self. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 OP, take all your money out of savings & put it somewhere safe. If you are on good terms with your family, have them rent a safe deposit box (SDB) with your or them listed as who can access it. You keep the keys. Pull out small amounts of funds at a time & put them into the SDB. Don't use the same bank as you have. Don't withdraw a lot at one time. Pull out small random amounts. When things go bad & the marriage fails, you will need that nest egg to start over. Your husband & his union is engaging in economic warfare upon you. You need to just stop & say no more. You should get divorced immediately for debt separation purposes, even if you want to stay with him. His debt & irresponsibly will drag you under. Stop enabling him financially. He will never be responsible with money. Our finances are, and always have been, separate. I knew there was no way we were going to have joint accounts. I'm just so nice to pay for everything because I can't say no. So yes I realize it is 100% my fault for giving my money to him. My problem is that he seems to have no problem asking for money even though he knows I pay for everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 20, 2015 Share Posted July 20, 2015 Our finances are, and always have been, separate. I knew there was no way we were going to have joint accounts. I'm just so nice to pay for everything because I can't say no. So yes I realize it is 100% my fault for giving my money to him. My problem is that he seems to have no problem asking for money even though he knows I pay for everything. Since you're married his debts are yours. They can take all your money to satisfy his debts. A bankruptcy will ruin your credit the same as his. So are you going to actually do anything about the looming disaster other then to; assume his responsibilities, complain, enable & nag? Are you going to protect yourself? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mapper71 Posted July 20, 2015 Author Share Posted July 20, 2015 Oh don't I know it. I've been paying his debts for years! Nope, I'll most likely go down right along with him! Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 Yup I'll continue to foot the bill or else we will both go under. Oh he PROMISES me he'll look hard for a job, but I don't believe him. He'll try for about a week, if that, and then he'll slack off. He has gotten so used to sitting at home and working outside on stuff that he is in no rush to go anywhere. He really wants this one job that they say they won't be looking to take him on until next year at the earliest if even then, but he'll keep in touch with the guy. Nope, I'm pretty sure my savings will be depleted by year's end! SO what can YOU do to be pro active and not let this happen? Mapper, it's time for you to take control and put your foot down. You're enabling his behavior!! Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted July 22, 2015 Share Posted July 22, 2015 I believe this thread should be re-titled to: What husband doesn't do. Apparently from the deleted posts, the OP isn't actually looking for advice. This is more of a diary journal for her. At least that's how I understood her reply. It's confusing for me. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts