Broke NC, Ex vanished, Still enjoying herself

[DexterLS]

You've changed a lot since I started talking to you too. I like the new Dexter better.

 

Thank you. I will stick around to update you guys about my progress. You, all, have been a huge help!

 

I wished I could have taken your pieces of advice a long time ago. It would have made things much easier by now, but I guess that's how you learn.

 

This breakup has been really hard for me, but I am excited for the future. I know I deserve better and I will do whatever I can to heal myself as fast as possible.

[Simon Phoenix]

As if this wasn't obvious. Something tells me the whole family doesn't get it.

 

They won't get it, but that's beside the point.

[DexterLS]

So my ex has been on my mind constantly today and it doesn't feel like I have initiated NC.

 

Because her company will take a decision in the coming few weeks, I really want to know what's going to happen. I have even checked her social media accounts once today to see if there are any 'updates'.

 

Obviously, got a little hurt when I saw a new pic with the other guy. Anyway, I'll just try my hardest tomorrow not to stalk anymore.

[Simon Phoenix]

So my ex has been on my mind constantly today and it doesn't feel like I have initiated NC.

 

Because her company will take a decision in the coming few weeks, I really want to know what's going to happen. I have even checked her social media accounts once today to see if there are any 'updates'.

 

Obviously, got a little hurt when I saw a new pic with the other guy. Anyway, I'll just try my hardest tomorrow not to stalk anymore.

 

It's not your concern. Stop inventing reasons to stay in the muck. Get your ring and GTFO.

[BC1980]

They probably don't. The little one called me vile for behaving this way and says I have changed a lot since the last time she talked to me (3 months ago).

 

Anyway, moving on.

 

Families tend to circle the wagons in these situations. She is going to paint you as a monster to her family, and they will take her side. The truth is usually irrelevant. You can't win with the family, so just stay away from them. Your ex is demonizing you in an attempt to justify her actions, and she need her family to follow suit. Sadly, that's usually how it goes after a breakup.

[DexterLS]

Update

 

Ring recovered. Ex's family made a scene and just came by my house without notifying me before. I was having dinner with dad.

 

They made me sign a paper that she doesn't hold any obligation towards me and that I won't interfere in her life or talk to her employers anymore. I wouldn't have signed it but my dad convinced me to do it and be done with these kind of people.

 

Also, Ex's employers suspended her and I don't know if she will lose her job. Maybe, this is wishful thinking but I hope she does.

 

Hope you're all doing okay!

[na49]

It's about time you rid yourself of this headache. It seems like a lot of drama for a ring, but all that matters is that you got it back.

[DexterLS]

Another update

 

I applied for a job at the same company as my ex is working right now as an IT Engineer six months ago, when we were still together.

 

I didn't get a reply until today. They want me to do an interview. It's a great opportunity, but of course, I'm not going to do it.

[aloneinaz]

Good job getting your ring back Dexter! I love it when people are held accountable!

 

 

Now, VANISH from this persons life. BLOCK her on everything. I really think you should change your phone number so NO ONE in her family, including her can text or contact you.

 

 

You'll heal from this whole experience quicker if you have zero contact, don't spy on social media and let time go by.

[dyna85]

Bad idea to apply to a place where your ex is working. That's actively looking for trouble.

[Simon Phoenix]

Bad idea to apply to a place where your ex is working. That's actively looking for trouble.

 

They weren't exes when he applied.

[dyna85]

They weren't exes when he applied.

 

Oh... well that's good. Didn't read the whole thread. Was gonna say...

[DexterLS]

I'm not going to take the job anyway.

 

She is still under suspension while they review her case. You know what would be great? She loses her job and I get the one I applied for. That would be the perfect karma ^^

 

Of course, I know it's very unhealthy to feel this way but can't help it. I feel nothing but disgust & anger towards my ex. Hopefully, this will go away pretty soon too.

[DexterLS]

A little update for you guys

 

Last time I had some kind of conversation with my ex, it was about the ring. She was being a bitch to return it to me and I pulled off a dick move by contacting her employers and told them something that made her lose the job.

 

Since the job is based abroad, she now has to come back to my country. However, she loves the country there too much and now she is going to marry the other guy so she can stay there by applying for a spouse visa, and then will look for another job.

 

So yep, that's about it, regarding my ex. I am doing fairly well. I wouldn't lie, some days are actually quite bad but I'm getting through it.

Edited August 22, 2015 by DexterLS

[Simon Phoenix]

Did you get the ring back?

[DexterLS]

Did you get the ring back?

 

Got it back, but when she lost the job, she contacted my best friend and ranted about it. Obviously, my friend communicated that to me and I felt really bad about it. I was also a little down about the fact that she is now getting married but I guess I will have to deal with it.

[BC1980]

Since the job is based abroad, she now has to come back to my country. However, she loves the country there too much and now she is going to marry the other guy so she can stay there by applying for a spouse visa, and then will look for another job.

 

Well, lucky him, she is getting married to stay in the country. I'm sure that will last long. In all seriousness, I'm sorry because I know what it feels like to have an ex get married quickly and while you are still grieving. No matter how badly they treated you, it's still difficult, and you will probably have a lot of emotions in the coming months. There is a silver lining though. You know it's completely dead.

[DexterLS]

Well, lucky him, she is getting married to stay in the country. I'm sure that will last long. In all seriousness, I'm sorry because I know what it feels like to have an ex get married quickly and while you are still grieving. No matter how badly they treated you, it's still difficult, and you will probably have a lot of emotions in the coming months. There is a silver lining though. You know it's completely dead.

 

We can never know though, can we?

 

I knew it was dead a long time ago but I still didn't take the news as well as I would have expected. However, I guess that's normal.

[aliveagain]

Consider yourself lucky, you got rid of a skank that would have made your life miserable. She's his problem now, your free. The best revenge is her finding out about you being a success. Don't waste anymore thoughts on this poor example of a girlfriend/wife, she no longer meets your standards. Post your ring story without mentioning too much about her(you signed that document). You can say that your holding out for a much higher standard the next time.

[DexterLS]

Consider yourself lucky, you got rid of a skank that would have made your life miserable. She's his problem now, your free. The best revenge is her finding out about you being a success. Don't waste anymore thoughts on this poor example of a girlfriend/wife, she no longer meets your standards. Post your ring story without mentioning too much about her(you signed that document). You can say that your holding out for a much higher standard the next time.

 

I am already quite a success to be honest.

 

She knows my potential and she also knows I am only going to get better, but she has made up her mind a long time ago. It's very unfortunate that it had to end this way. I planned my life with her.

 

Oh well.

[Simon Phoenix]

Consider this a bullet dodged. Your ex is a nutbar and you are lucky she went nutty before you actually married her.

[aliveagain]

I am already quite a success to be honest.

 

She knows my potential and she also knows I am only going to get better, but she has made up her mind a long time ago. It's very unfortunate that it had to end this way. I planned my life with her.

 

Oh well.

 

Make new plans that only include you, she sold herself for a visa to stay in a country she likes. This would be a perfect time to plan a trip and post pictures of your new happy life.

[DexterLS]

Make new plans that only include you, she sold herself for a visa to stay in a country she likes. This would be a perfect time to plan a trip and post pictures of your new happy life.

 

I have actually planned a trip with some friends in Mid-October. I am doing quite good to be honest and work has been really great as well.

 

I still don't feel ready to go out on dates, right now and I'm not sure I want to either. Maybe in a few months. Right now, I want to be selfish and only think about myself.

[mightycpa]

Got it back, but when she lost the job, she contacted my best friend and ranted about it. Obviously, my friend communicated that to me and I felt really bad about it. I was also a little down about the fact that she is now getting married but I guess I will have to deal with it.

Hey Dexter,

 

You know what that reminded me of?

 

Airport Corporation told your ex that they want to take a break.... next thing you know, they broke up with her.

 

Boo-hoo.

 

Whatever it was that she was doing that encouraged them to terminate her employment speaks volumes about her character. If you needed any third-party, independent and unbiased confirmation that she's not trustworthy, you've got it.

 

There's another thread on LS about a husband who got fired for stealing old inventory. It put the family's lifestyle in jeopardy, and, yes, you guessed it, the husband is immune to the suggestion that he was in the wrong. Her life is in chaos because of him.

 

That might have been you, but now, it's probably her new victim.

 

Be glad Dexter. Your remorse is just your lying heart talking to you. You wish she was different, but she isn't. As is, I know you don't want someone like her. You want who you thought she might be for you, and you're just having trouble reconciling desire with reality. You'll get there, don't worry, and you'll be far better off for your efforts.

 

You've come a long, long way. Put her in the rearview mirror, and focus on your future, not your past.

 

Good luck my friend.

[DexterLS]

Hey Dexter,

 

You know what that reminded me of?

 

Airport Corporation told your ex that they want to take a break.... next thing you know, they broke up with her.

 

Boo-hoo.

 

Whatever it was that she was doing that encouraged them to terminate her employment speaks volumes about her character. If you needed any third-party, independent and unbiased confirmation that she's not trustworthy, you've got it.

 

There's another thread on LS about a husband who got fired for stealing old inventory. It put the family's lifestyle in jeopardy, and, yes, you guessed it, the husband is immune to the suggestion that he was in the wrong. Her life is in chaos because of him.

 

That might have been you, but now, it's probably her new victim.

 

Be glad Dexter. Your remorse is just your lying heart talking to you. You wish she was different, but she isn't. As is, I know you don't want someone like her. You want who you thought she might be for you, and you're just having trouble reconciling desire with reality. You'll get there, don't worry, and you'll be far better off for your efforts.

 

You've come a long, long way. Put her in the rearview mirror, and focus on your future, not your past.

 

Good luck my friend.

 

Thank you. You're absolutely right. This whole situation has taken a toll on her and she is now ranting to all my friends who she didn't even know when she was all happy and taking trips with the other guy.

 

She has mentioned that it is now her turn to take revenge and I think she will do it. There's a lot of things, I did during the time we were together that she can use against me and I need to prepare myself for that.

 

PS: Apparently the other guy wanted to come and "talk" to me, but I am still waiting for it. I think he's a coward and won't do it.