Lonely73 Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Broom, how long before he came back and did you start right back up? Did he ever explain? I am afraid mine will try again at some point/ hopeful he will/ then don't want him to because the rollercoaster of emotions is way too much. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyBrown Posted June 10, 2015 Share Posted June 10, 2015 Broom, how long before he came back and did you start right back up? Did he ever explain? I am afraid mine will try again at some point/ hopeful he will/ then don't want him to because the rollercoaster of emotions is way too much. Look to those closest to you and your loved ones for comfort or vent on here. Mine came back to appologize and wanting to be friends about 3 weeks later... I saw him yesterday and he said hello but I cut him off and walked away. You don't need this toxic person in your life, it will get better. *hugs* to you and sorry about whatever tragedy you are facing. Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyBrown Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Checking in, because the last couple of days have been hard!!! I don't know why, I think it has to do with seeing him last Tuesday. Anyways, this morning I typed the password to my PC wrong and the hint came up which he had set... It's "ur lover" (an inside joke) now all I want to do is go back to bed and cry... I just don't want to feel longing anymore. :( Link to post Share on other sites
lookingforclosure Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Checking in, because the last couple of days have been hard!!! I don't know why, I think it has to do with seeing him last Tuesday. Anyways, this morning I typed the password to my PC wrong and the hint came up which he had set... It's "ur lover" (an inside joke) now all I want to do is go back to bed and cry... I just don't want to feel longing anymore. :( I'm having a hard time as well... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely73 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Hang in there lovely brown! One day at a time. Some times the longing is terrible, I know, but try to remember those hours and moments when you feel good without him. Whatever it is that you do just for yourself try and do that today. For me, working out makes me feel good so when I feel like I am missing him I try to go to the gym or go for a long walk. Even if I end up crying my face off on the long walk at least I got it out and got some endorphins going too! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
TandyLynn9 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 ExMM has been creeping in my head all morning. So annoying. Not sure exactly what is triggering it so I am trying to distract myself. I much prefer those days when if I do think about him I think of how much of a jerk he was/is. But on days like today I think about the good times. There were many. I still WILL NOT be contacting him. That is just NOT an option for me. I am NOT taking even 1 step backwards. I still want nothing to do with him. I just want him to be gone from my head or at least I want him to be the bad guy he really is in my thoughts. Not the guy he was during those great times we had. Come on 5pm so I can go to the gym and get some of this frustration out!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
lookingforclosure Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Checking in, because the last couple of days have been hard!!! I don't know why, I think it has to do with seeing him last Tuesday. Anyways, this morning I typed the password to my PC wrong and the hint came up which he had set... It's "ur lover" (an inside joke) now all I want to do is go back to bed and cry... I just don't want to feel longing anymore. :( I sent you a PM 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyBrown Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 Hang in there lovely brown! One day at a time. Some times the longing is terrible, I know, but try to remember those hours and moments when you feel good without him. Whatever it is that you do just for yourself try and do that today. For me, working out makes me feel good so when I feel like I am missing him I try to go to the gym or go for a long walk. Even if I end up crying my face off on the long walk at least I got it out and got some endorphins going too! The dumbest things set me off! it is so annoying. I work out a lot, I do a lot of yoga and the helps immensely. It hardest when I'm at work because I don't know when he's going to just show up and when he does I'm all emotional for a few hours, sometimes days after. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyBrown Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 exmm has been creeping in my head all morning. So annoying. Not sure exactly what is triggering it so i am trying to distract myself. I much prefer those days when if i do think about him i think of how much of a jerk he was/is. But on days like today i think about the good times. There were many. I still will not be contacting him. That is just not an option for me. I am not taking even 1 step backwards. I still want nothing to do with him. I just want him to be gone from my head or at least i want him to be the bad guy he really is in my thoughts. Not the guy he was during those great times we had. Come on 5pm so i can go to the gym and get some of this frustration out!! amen, sister! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Neveragain2013 Posted June 11, 2015 Author Share Posted June 11, 2015 The men have it so easy -- they can compartmentalize. I can't I think about him morning, noon and night. Even when I'm trying to focus on a task -- he creeps me. But I'm angry at his attempts to have it both ways. Not giving him that chance ever again. Living well is the best revenge! Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyBrown Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 I sent you a PM I responded! did you get it? It's my first pm and I was confused. lol Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely73 Posted June 11, 2015 Share Posted June 11, 2015 They do have it easier. Always did. We were the ones waiting by the phone. And we are the ones replaying conversations and other.....memories.....over and over in our heads. He is probably goi g about his day like we never happened while I am just trying to function some days and don't feel like I can even go out in public bc who knows what might make me cry? I also, though, have my strong moments. I am trying to hold onto those as hard and as long as I can!!! Day 6 is halfway over. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Broom Posted June 12, 2015 Share Posted June 12, 2015 Broom, how long before he came back and did you start right back up? Did he ever explain? I am afraid mine will try again at some point/ hopeful he will/ then don't want him to because the rollercoaster of emotions is way too much. 2 weeks and he was fishing to get back in Link to post Share on other sites
Lonely73 Posted June 14, 2015 Share Posted June 14, 2015 This is my 9th day of NC. Yesterday I was weak but today I feel strong. I can't wait for the day when I no longer wonder if he will contact me. I just want to not care anymore!! I will get there I know but dang is this s slow and panful process. I hope with all of me that he hurts just a little of the amount I do. Link to post Share on other sites
Dela Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I would also like to end it with my MM... maybe you can give me some encouragement 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LovelyBrown Posted June 15, 2015 Share Posted June 15, 2015 I would also like to end it with my MM... maybe you can give me some encouragement Just go NC! If your relationship is no longer serving you, leave! It's not worth the hassle, the bad rep or the sleepless nights. Do it for you, because you deserve better. Link to post Share on other sites
dancingfool83 Posted June 16, 2015 Share Posted June 16, 2015 Deactivated my Facebook 10 minutes ago. He doesn't update his but uses it to keep up with my life/chat. Well...we argued and it's been two days since we've spoken as he's swamped with work and school so clean break. I've had enough of him mistreating me due to stress no matter the apologies. It's getting to the level of verbal abuse Link to post Share on other sites
Lesson2ya Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Wow this is tough. It has been so difficult to stop contact with my OW and her with me probably 80% to 20% on my part. Whenever she has a crisis I seem to be her rock and I think of her everyday and we have not been together since Easter. I know I have to have total NC but you don't and then the grieving starts so you contact again to stop it, such a vicious circle I sympathise everyone who has been through this pain whatever side of the relationship you were. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
StrungOut1975 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 I'd like to join this thread. I will be NC this weekend and unfortunately have to contact on Monday bc of work. After that I am away for 3 weeks and have told him I will go NC during that time. I am praying for the strength! Link to post Share on other sites
StrungOut1975 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 The men have it so easy -- they can compartmentalize. I can't I think about him morning, noon and night. Even when I'm trying to focus on a task -- he creeps me. But I'm angry at his attempts to have it both ways. Not giving him that chance ever again. Living well is the best revenge! I thought I was the only one who did this... Ugh it's terrible! Link to post Share on other sites
StrungOut1975 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 The dumbest things set me off! it is so annoying. I work out a lot, I do a lot of yoga and the helps immensely. It hardest when I'm at work because I don't know when he's going to just show up and when he does I'm all emotional for a few hours, sometimes days after. Wow! Me too! Just walking past him in the hall without even speaking can throw me into a tailspin. Lovely do you plan to leave your job? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Dutchman1 Posted June 27, 2015 Share Posted June 27, 2015 Now that I have made progress in detaching romantically part of me wants to say I know you didn't really love me the way I loved you because you aren't capable and you tried to tell me that . Why not believe him and yourself. But I question what my true motivation is for wanting that. I dont want a real R with him anymore. I don't want to sleep with him anymore. You deserve so much better, a life for yourself. Maybe part of me enjoys the game if I can keep a safe distance and show him he can't just keep me on the shelf as his perfect little affair memory like he wants. I'm torn between both wanting to offer support to him and beat him at his own game. You will never be able to beat him at HIS game, because then the hot and cold starts, and you are in again, bad thinking. I don't think he contributes to my life other than his energy and being interesting. So I think nc is still best for me. One day at a time. There are a couple significant dates this month I'm going to let pass. Not to late for you to start living, a lot of us do you know. hang in, one day at a time. Dutchman 1 Link to post Share on other sites
livingon Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I am so unwell, fever up and down. I wanted to contact him so much but what is the point if he doesn't care? Link to post Share on other sites
Jemay Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I am so unwell, fever up and down. I wanted to contact him so much but what is the point if he doesn't care? Things always suck the most when we are tired or sick. And we also tend to be the most negative during those times, try to stay positive.... I try to imagine that he is just as miserable as I am or more. I stopped saying things like he doesn't care or he's probably over it, etc to myself, just makes me feel worse and really how do we truly know! So I figure if I'm gonna imagine something, I'm gonna imagine he's miserable. Hang in there, get good rest and be kind to yourself, once you feel better, you will feel stronger mentally again. And whatever you do, don't contact him. Not worth it. If there's any begging it should come from him, okay! Stay strong x Link to post Share on other sites
Josmatjes Posted July 6, 2015 Share Posted July 6, 2015 I was 9 weeks no contact and his wife started texting me and I did the worst thing.... I unblocked him for 1 hour to see if he would say something about what his wife was texting me.... Well he did and we texted and I'm mad at myself cause nothing has changed and now I have to start over from scratch! If anyone thinks of breaking no contact, DO NOT DO IT!!!! Worst thing ever! Stay strong! Link to post Share on other sites
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