Breaking It Off Vent

[thecrucible]

Because she has low self esteem and possibly some other mental issues..I was gonna say psychological but she is getting cray cray

 

 

Sorry to diverge from the thread topic but that's just not very sensitive. I have an anxiety disorder myself and saying 'cray cray' etc is not a good way to talk about mental illness. No one is perfect and I wish people would be less judgemental about mental health conditions.

 

 

It sounds like this situation is very emotionally trying for Leigh (without meaning to sound patronising in any way) but I hope Leigh doesn't put her wellbeing at risk if she continues to be involved with this guy. All I can imagine, is that if the situation is calling for her to seek advice on this thread, it doesn't seem like one that is doing any good.

 

 

I know this guy treats her well enough in his company, but she can do a lot better. I was with this guy a few years ago. We broke up and I was on the fence for a while - didn't end it fast enough. I thought it was a bit special that he was taking me for meals and that he was really into me etc - until I overheard him talking about how this is part of his game with every woman he wants to bed. It was that and a few other comments and I decided that it would cheapen me to be involved with this ex in any way ever again. Okay sorry to distract but hope this doesn't apply to Leigh's situation and you can never fully trust a guy you've known for a short time.

[toscaroscura]

I only read a little bit of the thread but something jumped out from the OP at me: when you said he made a point to tell you that he never went down on any of his GFs, but you were so special that he succumbed to the desire.

 

I am very very wary of anyone who claims only to do things for YOU, because you are so super special. I dated a guy once who said things like this, that he did certain things ONLY for me (even though he had been married before and had had plenty of GFs), and that since he was divorced he never wanted to get married again EXCEPT, I was so super special that he decided he'd do it, only for me.

 

I found out later, this is all just BS. It's just pointless ego-stroking designed to make you over-invest by thinking you are such a special snowflake to him that he is literally changing himself to please you.

 

In fact, mere weeks after I broke up with him, he was married to someone else! So much for his being against marriage except for oh-so-special me.

 

The experience with him taught me a lot, and now "special snowflake talk" is a primary red flag for me.

[Leigh 87]

Leigh, you have known him for 3 weeks right? or is it 4?

 

He's nice to me.

 

That's why I'm considering casual with him. Until I find the right guy, at which stage I'll stop the FWB once I start dating someone new.

 

I really enjoy the sex and company. But we obviously cannot have a relationship due to his mental state. I got it.

[Leigh 87]

I only read a little bit of the thread but something jumped out from the OP at me: when you said he made a point to tell you that he never went down on any of his GFs, but you were so special that he succumbed to the desire.

 

I am very very wary of anyone who claims only to do things for YOU, because you are so super special. I dated a guy once who said things like this, that he did certain things ONLY for me (even though he had been married before and had had plenty of GFs), and that since he was divorced he never wanted to get married again EXCEPT, I was so super special that he decided he'd do it, only for me.

 

I found out later, this is all just BS. It's just pointless ego-stroking designed to make you over-invest by thinking you are such a special snowflake to him that he is literally changing himself to please you.

 

In fact, mere weeks after I broke up with him, he was married to someone else! So much for his being against marriage except for oh-so-special me.

 

The experience with him taught me a lot, and now "special snowflake talk" is a primary red flag for me.

 

 

I believe he was a selfish lover.

 

We honestly have great chemistry. I 100% believe he didn't normally do it but was just super attracted to me.

 

He didn't declare it. When he did it I asked if he enjoyed it and he said he isnt into doing it.

 

It's also believable because I have a designer looking vagina. Every man who sees it tells me how nice it looks. They all say it's abnormally good looking.

 

I don't think it's healthy to assume people lie about everything.

 

The guy hasn't said I was the best in every way nor has he said I am that one special girl for him who he WOULD want to marry.

[toscaroscura]

I believe he was a selfish lover.

 

We honestly have great chemistry. I 100% believe he didn't normally do it but was just super attracted to me.

 

He didn't declare it. When he did it I asked if he enjoyed it and he said he isnt into doing it.

 

It's also believable because I have a designer looking vagina. Every man who sees it tells me how nice it looks. They all say it's abnormally good looking.

 

I don't think it's healthy to assume people lie about everything.

 

The guy hasn't said I was the best in every way nor has he said I am that one special girl for him who he WOULD want to marry.

 

I'm not saying to think everyone is lying, just to take these sorts of declarations with a grain of salt, and not let your ego do the thinking (it's not a bad thing, we ALL want to be special, but slime-balls will exploit that very human need). The way you described him above was so similar to my ex that I had to wonder.

[Leigh 87]

I'm not saying to think everyone is lying, just to take these sorts of declarations with a grain of salt, and not let your ego do the thinking (it's not a bad thing, we ALL want to be special, but slime-balls will exploit that very human need). The way you described him above was so similar to my ex that I had to wonder.

 

Haha no, he wasn't declaring anything as though I was some special exception. He mentioned it in a way that wasn't over the top or unbelievable.

 

I don't believe he lied about that one sexual thing. However, I don't know him. He could very well be lying about other things.

 

I've had a lot of exes tell me that they didn't enjoy oral until me. Many others have said it so that's why I believe he didn't lie about this one thing.

 

He could have very well lied about other things for instance, his kids.

[Leigh 87]

I dunno guys, I would feel so rotten turning my back in a person who's in need of some tender loving care.

 

He may have legitimately just had bad luck. His brother is an ice addict after all. His parents weren't the best parents.

 

I don't know the guy. It's too early for me to... Assume he's likely a lying slime ball.

 

I want to support him. But I DO understand 100% he can't commit or be in any sort of a lasting relationship..... Due to his mental problems.

 

I find it hard to turn my back in these types of situations.

 

The difference now is unlike with my ex ex ex who's mum died and who I looked after despite the fact he wasn't into me sexually, I won't be in any sort of serious relationship with this current guy. I won't move in with him. I won't stand for it if I realise he just isn't that into me.

[MissBee]

Relationships aren't a charity or being someone's caretaker and therapist.

 

They are about two people ready to invest 100% into the relationship.

 

Not one feeling sorry for the other and deciding they need to be with them to help them.

 

Picking people you need to help with their mental problems is a sure fire way to not have mutually beneficially relationships.

 

Further, people have to choose to work on their issues after which they can be available for a fulfilling relationship. You cannot nurse them to mental wellness and help them do that work and if you try it will not be a relationship between equals pulling their weight but more codependent.

[clia]

I dunno guys, I would feel so rotten turning my back in a person who's in need of some tender loving care.

 

He may have legitimately just had bad luck. His brother is an ice addict after all. His parents weren't the best parents.

 

I don't know the guy. It's too early for me to... Assume he's likely a lying slime ball.

 

I want to support him. But I DO understand 100% he can't commit or be in any sort of a lasting relationship..... Due to his mental problems.

 

I find it hard to turn my back in these types of situations.

 

The difference now is unlike with my ex ex ex who's mum died and who I looked after despite the fact he wasn't into me sexually, I won't be in any sort of serious relationship with this current guy. I won't move in with him. I won't stand for it if I realise he just isn't that into me.

 

Did he ask you to move in with him?

[introverted1]

It's also believable because I have a designer looking vagina.

 

 

What on earth does this mean???

[ascendotum]

 

What on earth does this mean???

 

hmmm I think this calls for a quick photobucket upload. I'm curious and I'm sure a number of others are what a designer snatch looks like that inspires previously reluctant men to turn the corner and now go down with joy.

[Leigh 87]

hmmm I think this calls for a quick photobucket upload. I'm curious and I'm sure a number of others are what a designer snatch looks like that inspires previously reluctant men to turn the corner and now go down with joy.

 

 

I have had nearly every guy bar one, comment on how nice it looks.

 

I've had several men who weren't fans of giving oral unless the girl really did it for them

 

When it comes to oral, there are three types. Men who love it. Men who hate it. And men who love it with the right woman.

 

I have gotten loads of men who are category two: they love either with the right woman. With the right vagina. True story. I'd know, I've slept with loads of guys.

[Leigh 87]

Relationships aren't a charity or being someone's caretaker and therapist.

 

They are about two people ready to invest 100% into the relationship.

 

Not one feeling sorry for the other and deciding they need to be with them to help them.

 

Picking people you need to help with their mental problems is a sure fire way to not have mutually beneficially relationships.

 

Further, people have to choose to work on their issues after which they can be available for a fulfilling relationship. You cannot nurse them to mental wellness and help them do that work and if you try it will not be a relationship between equals pulling their weight but more codependent.

 

 

I feel like I want to help. Not be in a relationship with him. His isn't a case if pining away over him. If he says jump I won't jump.

 

If he begged me I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. I can see its way, way too risky to get involved seriously with a man like him.

 

I'm not waiting around for his texts. I know it'll never be like that with him. Where I get to lok forward to good morning beautiful texts.

 

I want to help him while I am seeking out other men. Not be exclusive to him.

[Anela]

 

I have gotten loads of men who are category two: they love either with the right woman. With the right vagina. True story. I'd know, I've slept with loads of guys.

 

I've never worried about having the right vagina. This is a thing now?

 

If you try to help him out, whilst seeing new men, wouldn't that leave him feeling even worse? I'm lost.

[Leigh 87]

I've never worried about having the right vagina. This is a thing now?

 

If you try to help him out, whilst seeing new men, wouldn't that leave him feeling even worse? I'm lost.

 

 

My friend said that too.

 

You're all right.

 

I'm done.

 

 

I'm going to tell him today.

[Leigh 87]

I mean, he might not want to offer commitment or a relationship but he'd still get a bit upset if I left.

 

He tells me that this isn't a case of him not being into me.

 

He said that he did want a relationship with me. But he realised he's too messed up. He said it's got nothing to do with him not wanting a relationship with me.

 

 

 

 

 

I'll break it off today. I'm not sad because it's not like he was texting or calling me either.

[Leigh 87]

I want to go out with friends and flirt with guys and enjoy in my 20 s and attractive.

 

And maybe I'll find a guy for a relationship eventually.

 

I feel AWFUL for abandoning him.

 

He'll get over it lol.

[MissBee]

I feel like I want to help. Not be in a relationship with him. His isn't a case if pining away over him. If he says jump I won't jump.

 

If he begged me I wouldn't be in a relationship with him. I can see its way, way too risky to get involved seriously with a man like him.

 

I'm not waiting around for his texts. I know it'll never be like that with him. Where I get to lok forward to good morning beautiful texts.

 

I want to help him while I am seeking out other men. Not be exclusive to him.

 

Are you a licensed therapist?

 

If not, I don't think you're qualified to help.

 

I think he will be fine without your help and I am sure most men would be out off by a woman who is supposedly tied up "helping" some other guy.

[ascendotum]

I want to go out with friends and flirt with guys and enjoy in my 20 s and attractive.

 

And maybe I'll find a guy for a relationship eventually.

 

I feel AWFUL for abandoning him.

 

He'll get over it lol.

 

I think you said he was good looking, tall,and well built. If he puts up an OLD profile or goes out to a club on the weekend and leaves out the negative stuff going on in his life (until after a few times with sex) I'm sure he will find someone else fairly easy. You really don't owe him anything as you have only known him a couple of weeks, and really doubt him ending up having a baby with another rotten gf that her cant stand just happened by accident. Keep him as a fwb if you want, but I'm not sure if you can handle it emotionally reading some of the earlier posts on here. You are very pretty and should have lots of options, and reading some of your threads it does seem like they come along fairly regulary so I really don't understand why you think it could easily to be years wandering the lonely singles landscape before you find someone decent.

[snowflakes88]

It's also believable because I have a designer looking vagina. Every man who sees it tells me how nice it looks. They all say it's abnormally good looking.

 

You are prone to abnormal levels of conceit/bragging, but this takes the cake. :laugh::laugh::laugh:

[joseb]

You are prone to abnormal levels of conceit/bragging, but this takes the cake. :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

Can you imagine if some guy posted here he had a porn starts dick, it was unfeasible large and every girl he mets cant keep away from it how much ridicule and scorn he would get?!

[SawtoothMars]

I believe he was a selfish lover.

We honestly have great chemistry. I 100% believe he didn't normally do it but was just super attracted to me.

He didn't declare it. When he did it I asked if he enjoyed it and he said he isnt into doing it.

It's also believable because I have a designer looking vagina. Every man who sees it tells me how nice it looks. They all say it's abnormally good looking.

I don't think it's healthy to assume people lie about everything.

The guy hasn't said I was the best in every way nor has he said I am that one special girl for him who he WOULD want to marry.

 

Designer Vagina?

 

I'm going to make a confession here that I hope very few people read. I used this kind of flattery ALL THE TIME! I will often create situations that would make a woman feel special even when she is not. Let me give you an example. I dated a woman who was very insecure about her butt. I personally thought it was Ok. I would go out of my way to provide her positive attention to her derrière... at one point even bribing a judge to award her "Best Ass". She will never know this. Likely she will go through life thinking her butt looked best when she was dating me.

 

I have had nearly every guy bar one, comment on how nice it looks.

I've had several men who weren't fans of giving oral unless the girl really did it for them

When it comes to oral, there are three types. Men who love it. Men who hate it. And men who love it with the right woman.

I have gotten loads of men who are category two: they love either with the right woman. With the right vagina. True story. I'd know, I've slept with loads of guys.

 

If you were not Australian... I would think you were joking.

[Leigh 87]

Designer Vagina?

 

I'm going to make a confession here that I hope very few people read. I used this kind of flattery ALL THE TIME! I will often create situations that would make a woman feel special even when she is not. Let me give you an example. I dated a woman who was very insecure about her butt. I personally thought it was Ok. I would go out of my way to provide her positive attention to her derrière... at one point even bribing a judge to award her "Best Ass". She will never know this. Likely she will go through life thinking her butt looked best when she was dating me.

 

 

 

If you were not Australian... I would think you were joking.

 

 

 

I don't believe these guys are lying.

 

I do have a very nice looking one.

 

I've been with a lot of men.

 

Especially the long term boyfriends!

 

I don't believe every single dude I have ever been with is a lying slime ball. My long term boyfriend last year was not a liar.

[Leigh 87]

Designer Vagina?

 

I'm going to make a confession here that I hope very few people read. I used this kind of flattery ALL THE TIME! I will often create situations that would make a woman feel special even when she is not. Let me give you an example. I dated a woman who was very insecure about her butt. I personally thought it was Ok. I would go out of my way to provide her positive attention to her derrière... at one point even bribing a judge to award her "Best Ass". She will never know this. Likely she will go through life thinking her butt looked best when she was dating me.

 

 

 

If you were not Australian... I would think you were joking.

 

 

 

And i happen to think I very attractive to the men that I date.

 

I don't think I am the kind of girl that men HAVE to lie to.

 

I happen to actually have a great figure. I don't think men have to " make out that I have great features when they are merely ok"

[Leigh 87]

You are prone to abnormal levels of conceit/bragging, but this takes the cake. :laugh::laugh::laugh:

 

I never once said I am model material.

 

I never said that I am attractive to the vast majority.

 

I stress that I am never going to be hottest girl at the club.

 

But I don't believe I the sort of girl men lie to about having the best ass ever, or a nice vagina because frankly, both those personal attributes of mine ARE great by MOST people's standards.

 

I get straight middle aged women tell me while in dress stores that they wish they had an ass like mine.

 

I am not hot stuff. But i do have a few very nice features that men DON'T have to LIE ABOUT LOVING.