elaine567 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 I'm an honest, hard working person, as cliche as that might sound; being sexually adventurous does not make me otherwise. Who said it did? Where did that come from? Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongAce Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Who said it did? Where did that come from? It just came across as if you were implying that I was setting her up so I can have my fun. Sorry In true honesty, it looks like she set me up. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongAce Posted April 21, 2015 Author Share Posted April 21, 2015 Who said it did? Where did that come from? No ill itentions, Elaine. I appreciate all who have engaged me in this thread. Even if I disagree, Im the one who came here looking for advise. Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 22, 2015 Share Posted April 22, 2015 This is only your fault if you are secretly Professor Xavier and you used your mind control powers on her to force her to sext with this guy. Did...did you do that? If you didn't, then you already know the answer to your question. If you did..well, I bow before you almighty Charles Xavier, please don't mind warp me into thinking I'm an 11 yr. old girl or something. Link to post Share on other sites
aliveagain Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 It just came across as if you were implying that I was setting her up so I can have my fun. Sorry In true honesty, it looks like she set me up. You were definitely set up, they were already at a minimum having an emotional affair. Cheaters are the most jealous people, do as they say and not as they do. Take her up on the polygraph test, you may never have another chance at getting the truth. She is a very selfish person and unless you make your boundaries known she will find a way to go around them. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author strongAce Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 You were definitely set up, they were already at a minimum having an emotional affair. Cheaters are the most jealous people, do as they say and not as they do. Take her up on the polygraph test, you may never have another chance at getting the truth. She is a very selfish person and unless you make your boundaries known she will find a way to go around them. That is exactly how she is/was behaving. I mean, I could not even make contact with old female friends from high school, and I mean just saying hello to them. Then I come to find out what she was hiding from me the whole time. I just feel as though the relationship may never be the same, no matter how hard I try. She broke the foundation (trust). 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Marchhare Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 That is exactly how she is/was behaving. I mean, I could not even make contact with old female friends from high school, and I mean just saying hello to them. Then I come to find out what she was hiding from me the whole time. I just feel as though the relationship may never be the same, no matter how hard I try. She broke the foundation (trust). Everything aliveagain said. It's time. This is one very selfish WW. The foundation is broken because of her A, and several huge chunks are missing. I don't believe she will ever be remorseful until after you are gone if then. Her and her lover set you up big time, man that was cold what they did to you. Cheaters are the most jealous people out there too. Time to lawyer up StrongAce Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Your WW lied to you. Your WW had an affair with this OM. Your WW had sex with this OM many times. Her therapist knows the truth and is only interested in protecting her client/WW. Schedule a polygraph test for WW then tell her when the appointment is. Tell her she has broken your trust and this test is the first step to repair the trust WW broke. What happens is that many WW's on the ride to the test trickle some more truth. Claiming you now know all so lets skip the test. This is a WW ploy to get the BH to cancel the test so WW stops the BH from learning more. Don't cancel. Tell WW test is still on, great now we can confirm that you have told me all. I have to agree with all of the above. her being at this guy's house "once" was most likely multiple times with full and kinky sex happening. that is almost certain. Why ISN'T divorce on the table? it is the only way she will know you are serious about his! Link to post Share on other sites
spanz1 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 (edited) Some deleted messages that I found, had them making plans to hang out and have 'fun', one even had him asking what her favorite position is and she responded "you will find out". Not much else. that is enough. if they had a chance to be alone, then they went all the way. and you KNOW they had multiple chances to be alone. do realize that you CAN recover deleted phone messages with he right software, but only if you act quickly. if you don't do the polygraph, and stay in this marriage, I guarantee you will be sorry some years from now for never learning the truth. Edited April 29, 2015 by spanz1 Link to post Share on other sites
Spectre Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 (edited) A polygraph is irrelevant. She still had an emotional affair, thus you should end this marriage. When you ask your partner if they would be okay with a threesome with a member of the opposite sex and they tell you they already have someone in mind for that role? Red flag! Also a polygraph would be a waste of money! Come on man, she went to his guys house on at least one occasion. She definitely slept with him. But even if by some miracle she didn't..she still had an emotional affair with him, still hung out for "fun times" with him. Even if they never had sex I refuse to believe that nothing physical happened. She goes to his house and they don't even kiss? Oh please! She is feeding you lines. Just divorce her, she already had some dude in mind when asked about a 3some, that should tell you ALL you need to know. This woman should not of already had friggin 3some candidates rolling around in her head, but she did. Either way she had an emotional affair with someone she works with, she sure as hell doesn't love you or respect you. Why stay? This isn't your fault, you did not give her permission to cheat on you or to hang out with this man without you. EDIT: He also asked her favorite sex position and she told him he would "find out". Why the hell even bother with a polygraph? If she didn't screw the guy she sure as hell was planning on doing so. Divorce her ASAP. Edited April 30, 2015 by Spectre 1 Link to post Share on other sites
harrybrown Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Hope you have filed for D and also told the therapist that the marriage counseling can not continue with the deception and lies that the therapist is encouraging. Did she ever write a timeline of the A? did she take the polygraph test, or get tested for stds? Link to post Share on other sites
Buckeye2 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 That is exactly how she is/was behaving. I mean, I could not even make contact with old female friends from high school, and I mean just saying hello to them. Then I come to find out what she was hiding from me the whole time. I just feel as though the relationship may never be the same, no matter how hard I try. She broke the foundation (trust). "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." Friedrich Nietzsche Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 "I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you." Friedrich Nietzsche That is a great quote. Link to post Share on other sites
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