spiderowl Posted April 14, 2015 Share Posted April 14, 2015 I know you might miss her terribly but you are being far too clingy. Us elderly people couldn't contact friends at school until we went to school because many families didn't have a telephone, let alone emails, mobiles and whatever. But regardless of that diversion, you have to be brave and face life without her for a fortnight. I don't whether she appreciates you being so clingy or not, but it is something you'll need to learn to control because as sure as anything most women will find it too much. As a woman who likes lots of contact and affection, even I would find your behaviour too much. Sorry, but I think you need to be aware that this would not be acceptable for most women. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Just kills me that she is on this guys instagram to be honest, i mean her friends are there with them to be honest, but she is still there in the photo, and isn't it weird he is just hanging around with the girls on the trip? She says no "hot" guys were going and to be honest i think most girls would find him exactly that, and if she's hanging around with him for 2 weeks shouldn't i be worried? Is it just me being an idiot or have i got something to worry about? Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 I think you need to be single for a few years and work on your insecurities. I had no idea you were the guy that was posting about your girlfriend texting another guy. And then you are crying that she is leaving for two weeks. You aren't even 20 yet, I am assuming. You have plenty of time to live life and enjoy plenty of relationships. This isn't the end of the world but you are making a mountain out of a molehill. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Should i be worried about this guy who's hanging around with all the girls on the trip, and having pictures with them on his instagram? I miss her and start to think crazy things. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 And she hasn't replied to me today, I know its stupid but i get worried aha, like just want to see what she did in the day and what she will be getting up to tomorrow, but i cannot not. Should i send another email, or just wait until she replies to me? I've just ordered her the necklace she's always wanted, i want to tell her this but not sure if i should wait until/if she replies to me. Advice please? Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Should i be worried about this guy who's hanging around with all the girls on the trip, and having pictures with them on his instagram? I miss her and start to think crazy things. No you should not, and then only men who are going to tell you you should be are those who got burned way back when and now assume all women are hussies. She's on a trip with a bunch of people and one of them happens to be a social guy who like to take pictures. Stop seeing something here's there's nothing. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 No you should not, and then only men who are going to tell you you should be are those who got burned way back when and now assume all women are hussies. She's on a trip with a bunch of people and one of them happens to be a social guy who like to take pictures. Stop seeing something here's there's nothing. But she hasn't emailed me today, i know she's having fun and stuff, but i want to hear about it, should i just wait for her to reply from yesterday, or should i email her again (not thinking this one) but then i think, did either of our emails go through so see where i'm coming from? I want to tell her i ordered the necklace she really wanted for her birthday when she's back, but i don't want to annoy her by sending another. Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 But she hasn't emailed me today, i know she's having fun and stuff, but i want to hear about it, should i just wait for her to reply from yesterday, or should i email her again (not thinking this one) but then i think, did either of our emails go through so see where i'm coming from? I want to tell her i ordered the necklace she really wanted for her birthday when she's back, but i don't want to annoy her by sending another. She is NOT obligated to contact you every day while on vacation. have you ever gone on vacation? It can be a p.i.t.a ass to find connections. If she's in a foreign it's also might EXPENSIVE. Do anything other then sit in your house & let your imagination run wild. Call a buddy & do something today. You will feel less stressed. You are your own worst enemy right now. All this stewing about something you can't control anyway is making you nuts. If you do reach out again, and again she will dump you for being clingy. If you dont' want that, take my advice & move away from the electronics. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 She is NOT obligated to contact you every day while on vacation. have you ever gone on vacation? It can be a p.i.t.a ass to find connections. If she's in a foreign it's also might EXPENSIVE. Do anything other then sit in your house & let your imagination run wild. Call a buddy & do something today. You will feel less stressed. You are your own worst enemy right now. All this stewing about something you can't control anyway is making you nuts. If you do reach out again, and again she will dump you for being clingy. If you dont' want that, take my advice & move away from the electronics. I have to be honest, my last holiday i went to Holland and the Wifi was so bad to be honest. We both live in England, United Kingdom, and she's in Borneo, and island which is Malaysia. We've agreed not to text or call, we did before as this will cost a fortune for both of us. We are contacting each other over email, she has free wifi at the resort she's at (although it is slow) So you suggest going out and doing something, as this will take my mind off of it? And i will just wait for her reply, hopefully i get one, but if i don't for the next few days or week, shall i take that as a bad thing? Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Especially because she has to go somewhere & do something to get to her e-mail, you have to realize it's not a priority for her on vacation. Give it a rest. Yes, I am suggesting you do something today. See a movie. Go for a walk. Play a game. Do your family's grocery shopping. Give yourself a purpose. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 She is NOT obligated to contact you every day while on vacation. have you ever gone on vacation? It can be a p.i.t.a ass to find connections. If she's in a foreign it's also might EXPENSIVE. Do anything other then sit in your house & let your imagination run wild. Call a buddy & do something today. You will feel less stressed. You are your own worst enemy right now. All this stewing about something you can't control anyway is making you nuts. If you do reach out again, and again she will dump you for being clingy. If you dont' want that, take my advice & move away from the electronics. Also she said before she left to go there, she may not be in contact everyday, but whilst she was there (the first few days) she said she will email me whenever she can. So i suppose she did say beforehand? although if i were in holiday, i would be in contact in the evening before i go to sleep to be honest, tell them what i've been up to etc. I guess i'm the only one aha Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Especially because she has to go somewhere & do something to get to her e-mail, you have to realize it's not a priority for her on vacation. Give it a rest. Yes, I am suggesting you do something today. See a movie. Go for a walk. Play a game. Do your family's grocery shopping. Give yourself a purpose. To be fair, they get the wifi in their rooms so. But i get that she will be busy in the day, and i want her to enjoy her time there, and she should be having fun instead of sat on her phone! Although i miss her and want to know what she's been up to on the day (activities and tours etc.) I can find out when shes back right, and she will tell me all about it then? I'm going to MMA tonight, first time back in a while so should be good and can take my mind off it! I feel like a horrible person though, i do really care about her and i love her honestly Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 This chick will dump you once she starts getting stronger whiffs of your neediness, insecurity, and clinginess. This won't go past another year. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
autumnnight Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 You're going to suffocate and question the love right out of her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 You're going to suffocate and question the love right out of her. I'm not, i'm not going to hassle her whilst she is there, like if she doesn't reply then that's fine, it's a holiday/educational visit, so i know she is having fun and is busy. She said she would not be able to talk everyday because of this and she will email me whenever she can. I believe her and will look forward to her reply and to when she gets back, to hear all the stories and look at the many pictures she's taken. I'm going to treat her for her birthday (late of course as she comes back the day after) Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 But she hasn't emailed me today, i know she's having fun and stuff, but i want to hear about it, should i just wait for her to reply from yesterday, or should i email her again (not thinking this one) but then i think, did either of our emails go through so see where i'm coming from? I want to tell her i ordered the necklace she really wanted for her birthday when she's back, but i don't want to annoy her by sending another. Yeah, we can tell by this... that you are perfectly fine with waiting for her to respond. You are probably going to send another email, until you eventually send a passive aggressive email asking if everything is okay because you haven't heard from her yet. You are using the necklace as bait for a response. Don't do that. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Yeah, we can tell by this... that you are perfectly fine with waiting for her to respond. You are probably going to send another email, until you eventually send a passive aggressive email asking if everything is okay because you haven't heard from her yet. You are using the necklace as bait for a response. Don't do that. I won't send an email until she replies to the one i sent yesterday, although i have football/soccer trials on Friday and before she left she said i should email and tell her how it went and how i got on, should i still do this? I wouldn't say its baiting, she has always wanted this one and i managed to get it for her, just want her to know i got it, and she will be getting it when she's back for her birthday Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Just give it to her on her birthday. You don't need to tell her about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Just give it to her on her birthday. You don't need to tell her about it. Well i can't give it on her birthday as she will be leaving, but the flight is 12 hours so she will get back the day after, she said i may be able to see her that day, but she said she might be too tired (jet lag) which is fair enough. In the week she's back, she is having a birthday meal with her friends, which she said i'm coming to, so i think i should give it to her then as this will be the first time i will see her. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Fine, give it to her THAT day then. But you don't need to tell her you bought it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 15, 2015 Author Share Posted April 15, 2015 Well i can't give it on her birthday as she will be leaving, but the flight is 12 hours so she will get back the day after, she said i may be able to see her that day, but she said she might be too tired (jet lag) which is fair enough. In the week she's back, she is having a birthday meal with her friends, which she said i'm coming to, so i think i should give it to her then as this will be the first time i will see her. *leaving to come back and the flight is 15 hours Link to post Share on other sites
SoulCat Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 For god sake lad, back off! You are going to suffocate this poor girl with all your insecurities, clingy behaviour and neediness. So what she's in some pics on some guy's Instagram? It's what people do, especially when on holiday or a school trip. Stop reading stuff in to it. As far as not replying as often to your emails as you'd like; you've got to understand, she's on a trip to an amazing part of the world with her mates. You are not going to be on her mind as much as she is on yours. Why? Simply because she's out enjoying herself and enjoying the experience. There will be tonnes of things to see and do that keep her busy. Whereas all you seem to do is mope around questioning everything she does and doesn't do. As for the birthday present, don't tell her!! If it's something she's wanted for a long time it will be so much more special if you keep it to yourself until you can actually, physically give her the gift. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
pteromom Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 You asked her if any good looking people were going? Or she just felt the need to tell you that? Either way, that's not good. Either you came across as insecure, or she knows you are and felt she needed to reassure you. And she probably told you there were no hot guys because she knew she wasn't going to cheat and didn't want you worrying for no reason. And of course her priority isn't going to be texting and emailing you. It shouldn't be! She is having a good time with her friends. The best thing you can do is not need ANYTHING from her right now, so you don't feel like an obligation pulling her away from her fun. Relax!!!!! Lastly, if she is going to cheat, she is going to cheat. No amount of worrying, freaking out, emailing her, stalking instagram, or analyzing the hotness of the people she is with will prevent it. All you can do is trust in what she said, and see what happens. If it all goes as she said it would, she will come back happy to see you, and all will be great in the world. If she ends up cheating or deciding she doesn't want to be with you, you are BETTER OFF. Who wants someone who doesn't want them? So just breathe, and keep yourself busy, and trust that you will deal with whatever happens, whether it is wonderful or horrible. And most likely, everything will be perfectly ok. When she gets back, listen happily to her stories. If her stories include Hot Guy, bite your tongue and laugh/smile, and tell her that you are so glad she had fun. Any jealousy or insecurity you show is just going to shut her down, and she is going to compare the fun and freedom she felt on her trip with the downer of being back and being grilled. There will always be Hot Guys around. Some of them will even make moves on her. You gotta trust in your relationship, and you gotta trust in her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
bachdude Posted April 15, 2015 Share Posted April 15, 2015 Sadly, insecurities can become a self-fulfilling prophesy. The insecurities push the very person away you are afraid to lose. The only way to proceed is to let her have her space. Give her a chance to miss you! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author forest97 Posted April 16, 2015 Author Share Posted April 16, 2015 She replied earlier, which i woke up to because of the time difference. She told me what she was up to and that she is going to stay in a different island for 2 days and 1 night (Friday and Saturday) so she cannot talk as there is no wifi. She also said sorry for taking ages to reply, she said she was busy all day, but she wasn't in the best of moods. I've asked her what is up, but she will be out so hopefully will tell me later. What could this be from? I don't want her upset for her holiday Also she told me she loves me and misses me Link to post Share on other sites
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