He left without saying bye

[stillafool]

Good god, why all this negativity and stereotyping! Can't we just let Cheerbabe enjoy this relationship without ripping her boyfriend to shreds for being a pro-ball player (and assuming he is "playing" her) and disliking the drama of formal goodbyes? Sheesh!

 

He is skyping, texting, communicating just like he promised and she is happy!

 

So can we give this a rest please and let her enjoy this relationship and play this out?

 

Jmo

 

When I start telling you what to think and post then you can tell me. Until then don't reply to me reply to OP. Geesh!

[ExpatInItaly]

If you would have read my other answer I said that when I was with my ex boyfriend I spent 5k on plane tickets to go see him so I definitely have the money to fly out to CA lol and he knows I'm not poor

 

And did the ex come to see you too? I ask because you have to make sure it's not always you spending the cash, no matter who the other person is.

 

But my previous question still stands: are you both planning to date other people until the potential visit this summer? Or did you agree to an exclusive long-distance relationship? If you didn't, there is not way in hell I'd be paying for an expensive international flight.

 

Also, my initial take on his sneaking away still stands too. It was not cool to lead you to believe you had plans to do something, then he sends you a measly text message while he's at the airport and getting ready to leave the country. That is pathetic. And so is his excuse about not wanting a sappy goodbye. Come on now.

[Diezel]

Good god, why all this negativity

 

Thin line between negativity and realism.

 

What woman really wants a man who is willing to leave the country without saying goodbye just because of tears? I'd say, that lacks character, integrity, and balls.

 

Remember, this thread was posted for a reason.

[katiegrl]

Thin line between negativity and realism.

 

What woman really wants a man who is willing to leave the country without saying goodbye just because of tears? I'd say, that lacks character, integrity, and balls.

 

Remember, this thread was posted for a reason.

 

I will admit, when this thread was first created, I didn't have high hopes for her or their relationship either. I, too, thought he may be a player (not just a pro ball player..lol), and that him not saying goodbye was crappy and the beginning of the end.

 

I was actually quite surprised when she updated saying that he HAS been living up to what he promised....by skyping, texting, communicating.

 

I really did not expect him to, but now that he has, I feel more positive about it, that's all.

 

And IMO, I think continuing to rip on him isn't fair or right given that he is, in fact, living up to what he promised.

 

But you may be right too... I won't deny that it's possible. I just haven't seen any evidence of that, and until I do, I vote for staying positive and wishing her well.

 

Yes the not saying goodbye was crappy, but I do understand it, as some people really hate and feel uncomfortable with all the drama surrounding formal goodbyes.

 

Not justifying it, only trying to understand it. Everyone makes mistakes, and now that she has communicated with him that it hurt her, going forward he will put his discomfort aside and say goodbye in person. Hopefully!

[elaine567]

I will admit, when this thread was first created, I didn't have high hopes for her or their relationship either. I, too, thought he may be a player (not just a pro ball player..lol), and that him not saying goodbye was crappy and the beginning of the end.

 

I was actually quite surprised when she updated saying that he HAS been living up to what he promised....by skyping, texting, communicating.

 

I really did not expect him to, but now that he has, I feel more positive about it, that's all.

 

And IMO, I think continuing to rip on him isn't fair or right given that he is, in fact, living up to what he promised.

 

But you may be right too... I won't deny that it's possible. I just haven't seen any evidence of that, and until I do, I vote for staying positive and wishing her well.

 

Yes the not saying goodbye was crappy, but I do understand it, as some people really hate and feel uncomfortable with all the drama surrounding formal goodbyes.

 

Not justifying it, only trying to understand it. Everyone makes mistakes, and now that she has communicated with him that it hurt her, going forward he will put his discomfort aside and say goodbye in person. Hopefully!

 

Read cheerbabe93's other threads.

He told me that a lot of women would give anything to be in my position and he told me that he sleeps with one other woman but if I satisfy him more he will "fire" the other one and "hire" me.

[Gary S]

The very first questions I ask a dating prospect are, "How long have you lived here and where are you from"? in order to establish residency.

 

Don't play with the drifter. He was just passin' through.

[Diezel]

Read cheerbabe93's other threads.

 

I shouldn't have done that.

 

Apparently this basketball player is a guy she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with back in January.

 

Fantastic.

[katiegrl]

elaine, admit I have NOT read her other threads...

 

Perhaps if I did, my opinion would change.

 

Just went on what she posted in this thread...

[Gary S]

I shouldn't have done that.

 

Apparently this basketball player is a guy she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with back in January.

 

Fantastic.

 

- Okay, so she's a drifter too - she drifts between men.

[Cheerbabe93]

I shouldn't have done that.

 

Apparently this basketball player is a guy she cheated on her ex-boyfriend with back in January.

 

Fantastic.

 

Nope that is not what happened and I've been with this man since November of last year. I didn't really cheat because my ex said we weren't officially together (he just wanted to justify him seeing other women)

[Cheerbabe93]

- Okay, so she's a drifter too - she drifts between men.

 

Nah I don't. I was with my ex for almost three years and was always faithful. Then I met this man and my ex and I had been on and off and he had cheated on me. I don't sleep around

[darkmoon]

he is always going to be like this, if you stick around, get used to it

 

date others, til he acts more affectionate etc.

[Diezel]

Nope that is not what happened and I've been with this man since November of last year. I didn't really cheat because my ex said we weren't officially together (he just wanted to justify him seeing other women)

 

Just going to leave this here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/509415-should-i-fight-let-go

[Cheerbabe93]

Just going to leave this here:

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/509415-should-i-fight-let-go

 

If you bring up my other posts you shouldn't forget about the one of my ex boyfriend cheating on me and leaving me for someone else. But honestly this isn't even about that guy. I'm with someone else and he makes me happy

[shvrk]

If you bring up my other posts you shouldn't forget about the one of my ex boyfriend cheating on me and leaving me for someone else. But honestly this isn't even about that guy. I'm with someone else and he makes me happy

 

The guy that you've started the thread about? And he makes you happy? You just seem totally stressed. It seems like he only makes you happy sometimes... and the other times you seem to feel like ****. Because he treats you like ****

 

I'd be pissed if my boyfriend told me that I was acting like a needy little brat when I didn't feel like I was getting enough attention. I wouldn't even change my ways. I'd just date someone else. I require a lot of attention and would not wanna stress over keeping quiet just to keep a hot basketball player around.

[melissacus]

Why is everybody on here so harsh? You can be honest without having a hateful undertone. Jesus. This is my perspective on the situation: it was incredibly rude and insensitive for him to leave without saying good bye... if you two had established a relationship together. Which by the sound of it, you didn't technically do. I agree with most of the people on here that you should untie from him, unless of course, you can continue seeing him without hopes of an actual sustained relationship. Because I don't think that's what he's interested in. If he was, he would have made sure to communicate that with you to a point where there's no confusion. If a man wants a woman to be his and vice versa, he does what he can to establish that. And he's considerate of her needs and feelings. This guy doesn't even want to hear your true feelings, he just wants rainbows and butterflies. Express your true feelings and needs and I think he would become distant or uninterested very quickly. You can do better, love.

[Cheerbabe93]

So I just texted him saying that I'm head over heels in love with him and his response was "how do you know?" And a few minutes later "if you're head over heels in love prove it"

 

Not how I wanted this to go down lol

[preraph]

He told you this is how he does it. There is some reason he does it this way. My guess it's because he's macho and knows long good-byes can make him cry and he doesn't want to cry in front of people, especially at the airport or whatever. I have flat refused to take someone moving away to the airport before because I knew it would be too hard on me. All you should do is wait and see if he follows through with Skyping -- or if you find out he's got a completely different life and girl back home, which is certainly possible. Also, if he is a pro ball player, there could be media there and he may just be avoiding having to deal with anything but business at the airport. And that could be for various reasons, including hiding a girlfriend.

 

So see where he Skypes from. If he Skypes from home, great. Maybe there's really no problem here. If he only seems to Skype when he's on the move, he could have someone there.

[Cheerbabe93]

He told you this is how he does it. There is some reason he does it this way. My guess it's because he's macho and knows long good-byes can make him cry and he doesn't want to cry in front of people, especially at the airport or whatever. I have flat refused to take someone moving away to the airport before because I knew it would be too hard on me. All you should do is wait and see if he follows through with Skyping -- or if you find out he's got a completely different life and girl back home, which is certainly possible. Also, if he is a pro ball player, there could be media there and he may just be avoiding having to deal with anything but business at the airport. And that could be for various reasons, including hiding a girlfriend.

 

So see where he Skypes from. If he Skypes from home, great. Maybe there's really no problem here. If he only seems to Skype when he's on the move, he could have someone there.

 

We only skyped once since he's been back home but when we did he initiated it and it was Sunday morning for him and he was still in bed when we skyped... Alone of course

[shvrk]

So I just texted him saying that I'm head over heels in love with him and his response was "how do you know?" And a few minutes later "if you're head over heels in love prove it"

 

Not how I wanted this to go down lol

 

Has he told you that he loves you?

[Cheerbabe93]

Has he told you that he loves you?

 

No not yet but it's kinda early still. My ex said it after 8 months and I've only been with him for 4 months now.

[JohnsonBaby]

So I just texted him saying that I'm head over heels in love with him and his response was "how do you know?" And a few minutes later "if you're head over heels in love prove it"

 

Not how I wanted this to go down lol

 

Defensive cuz he can't say "I love you too ".Usually I say "are you sure ? How do u know ,you don't know everything about me" .

In all honesty I know you don't wanna hear this but chances are that he just wanted some company over there (In Europe) .

All it took Me is a nice booty and pretty face . Lol

[ascendotum]

I dated basket ball players when I used to live in Europe and trust me ,as much as they make you believe they have feelings all they want is some you know what. And don't even believe for a secodno that you were the only one he was screwing either. They have one back home and the groupies in Europe waiting after the game or at the club. Forget him and don't believe his playa talk.

Have a friend who hanged out with sooo many of them ad they all pretty smooth,as long as they can get what they want ,but believe me once he s back home his "feelings " are gone ,unless he has to play in your country next season.

Don't be naive .

 

I see you learned only after dating a number of them (I'm sure it wasn't all heart break though). My guess is she will like to learn her lesson the hard way too....your post is good first hand experience advice tho.

[JohnsonBaby]

I see you learned only after dating a number of them (I'm sure it wasn't all heart break though). My guess is she will like to learn her lesson the hard way too....your post is good first hand experience advice tho.

 

Thank you and I m really trying not to be too hard but between fun and feelings I hit my head hard against the wall a few times . I know Alot about that "circle " from players to groupies and I would reccomend not to get attached to them as nice and cool as they seem.

[shvrk]

I've been dating someone for about 4 months now and I've fallen really hard for him. We spend a lot of time together and always have a good time. We did have some fights before but that's normal in a relationship.

 

My problem is that every time I tell him how much he means to me and how I wish this will work out he tells me "actions over words"

I didn't say "I love you" yet because I honestly don't know how to since I feel like he would just give me the same reply.

 

So my question is how can I show him that I do love him? We don't live together so that might make it a little harder. I really need some advice here cause I'm lost and it's starting to frustrate me a little that he won't believe my words.

 

From a previous thread of yours...

 

I just does not seem like the feelings are mutual at all. I would have definitely waited for him to tell me first but you went for it... I guess thats fine to show him how you feel but it would be pretty s h i t t y for him to continue to string you along knowing that.

 

When did you guys establish an exclusive relationship?