Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

March 27, 2015

No, both of you should feel bad for being shallow.

Don't worry about them. Let them be shallow & see how that works out for them. Only like 15% of men are 6 feet or taller. So not every woman is getting a tall guy even if they want one. That's their problem.

What do you mean how it works out for them ? They date taller guys .... that's exactly how it works out for them. Stop being bitter and complaining about something you can't change. Whining that it is not fair that girls like taller guys is going to get you absolutely no where. You achieve nothing - it is a waste of time and energy. It is in our DNA. It is life - you can't change the rules just because you don't like them.

It is like playing a game of Poker and getting dealt a pair of 2's and complaining that the 2 card is worth less then the Ace and trying to argue with the other players it should be worth more. It is not going to happen - the rules are predetermined. Ace is worth more so just deal with it. Because in life just like in poker the guy who gets dealt the best hand doesn't always win the game. There is a lot more to the game then just the cards you have. Instead of focusing on how inferior your cards are start focusing on how you use them. A guy with pocket 2's can beat a guy with pocket aces if he knows how to play.

March 27, 2015

To answer the OP...

Its all about attraction. Height and weight proportion are key factors in attraction.

That said, Im 5'9 and have dated women in the range of 5'0 and 6'0. I dont normally go after tall women, but Ive dated a few. I dont let my height get in the way of anything. While I do prefer shorter women(the same way a lot of girls prefer taller men), its not a requirement if the attraction is there.

Edited March 27, 2015 by kaylan

March 27, 2015

Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

It never was for me.

I am 5'3" and found I felt a bit intimidated by men that were a lot bigger then me.

I dated loads of short guys, some even shorter than me!

Having said that both my husbands were/are 6' tall.

March 27, 2015

It's never been a deal breaker for me, either. My Dad isn't tall, and most of his brothers are around his height. They're all married, or have been happily involved.

March 27, 2015

-A tall man is a status symbol

- Feel more protected around a taller man

March 27, 2015

What do you mean how it works out for them ? They date taller guys .... that's exactly how it works out for them.

Yeah it does work out pretty well for me. I'm going out with a guy now who is 6 feet, although the one I really want is 5'11".

There are women who genuinely don't care about height though. Shorter men are not SOL by any means.

And I admit I am shallow about height. Everyone's shallow about something or other. There are other things (many things, actually) I am completely un-shallow about that other women who aren't shallow about height are probably shallow about.

People should stop thinking that women who prefer tall men are somehow "the evil ones" who will "get what's coming to them" -- lol.

March 27, 2015

lmao, I don't get why some of the people in this thread are acting like 6' tall men are mythical unicorns that the shallow bitches will never be able to land a date with. Tall men are not that unusual. And who cares if girls consider height a dealbreaker? Personally I'd rather be aware of dealbreakers before you ever go on a first date, it's a lot better than a girl stringing you along.

March 27, 2015

Im ashamed to say it would be a deal breaker for me. I couldnt date anyone taller than me, I'd feel uncomfortable. Luckily im 6ft so dont really have this problem.

March 27, 2015

Oh no not another height issues thread ;/

It's funny though because guys must lie about their height all the time online because one of the first things women always say is "You're actually as tall as you claim to be".

Yeah 100% true. I'm 5'9" and say that I'm 5'9" on POF and I often get a "I thought you were going to be kind of short, but you're not!". I have broad shoulders and tight waist/abs so maybe that gives the illusion of height, or maybe I should check my height again, perhaps I'm actually taller .

Even for shorter guys - there are a TON of girls who are 5'0 to 5'4...

No it doesn't work like that. I'm 5'9" so I thought for a very long time that the girls I should go for would be in the 5'0"-5'4" region (which was true in my college/uni days) but I've figured out that the shorter girls tend to want tall guys and almost all of the replies I get back on POF are girls that are 2-3" shorter than me — girls 5'6"+ have no high issues.

Edited March 27, 2015 by wb1988

March 27, 2015

No it doesn't work like that. I'm 5'9" so I thought for a very long time that the girls I should go for would be in the 5'0"-5'4" region (which was true in my college/uni days) but I've figured out that the shorter girls tend to want tall guys and almost all of the replies I get back on POF are girls that are 2-3" shorter than me — girls 5'6"+ have no high issues.

As 5'5-6 is bang on average then you would expect most replies from that height range anyway.

March 27, 2015

As 5'5-6 is bang on average then you would expect most replies from that height range anyway.

I live in the UK, there are many very short girls everywhere. I don't think 5'5 or 5'6 is the female average here nor is it the most common.

I've got about 12 dates off POF since last summer, only 1 was with a short girl. The profiles that state "I like tall guys" or "6ft+ only please" are all by girls that are very short. All of the messages that I get (that I didn't message to first) are girls that are actually very close to my height if not 1 inch taller.

Edit:

Also I thought I'd also add that many females don't know their height either. I remember going on a date with a girl that said she was 5'8" but she was more like 5'4 (she was shorter than me even with heels).

OP your best bet is to target girls between 5'4" to your own height, trust me on this!

Edited March 27, 2015 by wb1988

March 27, 2015

I like the honesty from a lot of the women here. Nothing to be ashamed of or be attacked for. I respect truth.

IME, most women like tall men for perceived physical strength, the masculine aesthetics it provides, and the social status when being seen next to him.

March 27, 2015

Edit:
Also I thought I'd also add that many females don't know their height either. I remember going on a date with a girl that said she was 5'8" but she was more like 5'4 (she was shorter than me even with heels).

Likely because she had been on lots of dates with short guys who lied and said they were 5'8"

March 27, 2015

I live in the UK, there are many very short girls everywhere. I don't think 5'5 or 5'6 is the female average here nor is it the most common.

I've got about 12 dates off POF since last summer, only 1 was with a short girl. The profiles that state "I like tall guys" or "6ft+ only please" are all by girls that are very short. All of the messages that I get (that I didn't message to first) are girls that are actually very close to my height if not 1 inch taller.

Edit:
Also I thought I'd also add that many females don't know their height either. I remember going on a date with a girl that said she was 5'8" but she was more like 5'4 (she was shorter than me even with heels).

OP your best bet is to target girls between 5'4" to your own height, trust me on this!

I have defiantly noticed that on POF and OKCupid in this area too. All the shorter girls on these site list "Tall Guys Only", "No Short Guys", "You should be tall" and "only contact me if you are at least 6 feet tall".

And they are the quickest to dismiss you by either never responding to you, or giving you a quick reply that is rather rude about being short and not reading their requirements in their profile.

It's the girls in the 5'4" to 5'7" ball park who are more willing to chat it up with me and not immediately rule me out. Some state they are unconformable being taller than you when in heels and what not. But at least they chat it up with you.

Also girls in that hight ball park, although they list heir preference as 6'0", they don't often spell out their height requirements written in their about me section. And when they do it's usually something like you should be taller than me in heels.

Of course, I have seen some girls in this height range, where being 5'8" is an immediate deal breaker such as that girl on tinder who was 5'5".

March 27, 2015

I live in the UK, there are many very short girls everywhere. I don't think 5'5 or 5'6 is the female average here nor is it the most common.

'

Sorry I assumed US, and yes UK averages are lower.

2010 study - The average woman in England weighed 11 stone (70.2kg) and was 5ft 3in tall (161.6cm).

March 27, 2015

Speaking of height requirements only moments ago, I just went on Facebook, and a girl I know from College posted a picture I saw on my feed.

The picture was just text that read: "Know what I call guys 5'11" and under? Friends"

It was funny reading the comments, the first girl replied with "Tsk tsk tsk" and this girl replied back with "#SorryNotSorry"

And then another comment was a picture that said "When you marry a guy 5'8" and your son can't make varsity".

And it just goes on and on with cracks at shorter guys heights. Just goes to show how much this reality is ingrained in our society that girls find taller guys attractive and that they can just joke about it.

March 27, 2015

I think it works the other way too. Many men I know think of women who are 5'5" to 5'8" as prizes; the women have got this model-like height without actually being models that are too tall for them (the men). Short is associated with lower status, someone who doesn't come from great nutrition or whatever. lol.

March 27, 2015

I think it works the other way too. Many men I know think of women who are 5'5" to 5'8" as prizes; the women have got this model-like height without actually being models that are too tall for them (the men). Short is associated with lower status, someone who doesn't come from great nutrition or whatever. lol.

I've never heard this before.

I'm 5'8 and have been considered too tall before. Most men I know consider 5'5 and under the ideal. Small and petite.

I've always been led to believe that women hovering close to that 5 foot range are most desirable. That's what I always get told!

March 27, 2015

most of the women I slept with (ahem, I mean dated) were between 5'3" and 5'7". I would never date a woman taller than me or one that is too short (like 5')

March 27, 2015

As a short man, I don't really have bitterness. I don't think all women are evil and shallow. For the most part, I don't think about it much.

That said though, it hurts. I'll be quite honest. You do what you can as a man to be your best self. That includes being interesting, being loyal, being funny, being romantic, all other qualities most women look for in a partner. And yet there are women who won't even consider you an option because of something you can't control.

I have a weird feeling about it all. I don't curse the skies for being born short, as there are people with real world problems out there. By the same token, like I said, it hurts to not only be ruled out, but to have it accepted. Someone mentioned a Facebook post about "what do you call men under 5'11? Friends" I have seen that online as well. I have seen countless profiles online where the woman has nothing written in her profile except "must be 6' or over" or "please be tall." As if that is the only requirement. And no one calls them on it. I am sure if a man only had in his profile "big boobs only" or something like this, even girls who did have big boobs would be so put off they would not contact him.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this. I guess what I would say to the women who prefer taller men, and those who admit they are shallow about it but refuse to be open to change - there are people reading these pages and similar pages online, and it is a confidence destroyer. Again...it just...hurts.

I think we all deserve love, and it pains me sometimes to think I won't get who I want because of something I can't control.

March 27, 2015

As a short man, I don't really have bitterness. I don't think all women are evil and shallow. For the most part, I don't think about it much.

That said though, it hurts. I'll be quite honest. You do what you can as a man to be your best self. That includes being interesting, being loyal, being funny, being romantic, all other qualities most women look for in a partner. And yet there are women who won't even consider you an option because of something you can't control.

I have a weird feeling about it all. I don't curse the skies for being born short, as there are people with real world problems out there. By the same token, like I said, it hurts to not only be ruled out, but to have it accepted. Someone mentioned a Facebook post about "what do you call men under 5'11? Friends" I have seen that online as well. I have seen countless profiles online where the woman has nothing written in her profile except "must be 6' or over" or "please be tall." As if that is the only requirement. And no one calls them on it. I am sure if a man only had in his profile "big boobs only" or something like this, even girls who did have big boobs would be so put off they would not contact him.

I don't know where I'm going with all of this. I guess what I would say to the women who prefer taller men, and those who admit they are shallow about it but refuse to be open to change - there are people reading these pages and similar pages online, and it is a confidence destroyer. Again...it just...hurts.

I think we all deserve love, and it pains me sometimes to think I won't get who I want because of something I can't control.

Good post man. Especially about calling out the double standard with the big boobs comment. One thing I've always found to be funny is that women have no issues posting bikini pics, cleavage shots, etc.. But a guy posting a shirtless to prove he takes care of himself is considered an online deadly sin.

As you say, it does suck when you're automatically eliminated over something that you didn't win in the genetics lottery. But perhaps you need to start getting out and meeting more women in the real world. Online women tend to focus a bit more on the physical. However, in person since you have a good personality and the other traits you mentioned, you can still win a woman over regardless of your height. Just food for thought.

March 27, 2015

Good post man. Especially about calling out the double standard with the big boobs comment. One thing I've always found to be funny is that women have no issues posting bikini pics, cleavage shots, etc.. But a guy posting a shirtless to prove he takes care of himself is considered an online deadly sin.

As you say, it does suck when you're automatically eliminated over something that you didn't win in the genetics lottery. But perhaps you need to start getting out and meeting more women in the real world. Online women tend to focus a bit more on the physical. However, in person since you have a good personality and the other traits you mentioned, you can still win a woman over regardless of your height. Just food for thought.

My issue with online - as both men and women have admitted here - is that it is no place for a shorter man.

Well, that sucks. So because I am short I have to eliminate one dating outlet from my life? I can only focus on meeting girls in the real world as opposed to the convenience of using online because of what my height is?

Did you also know that sperm banks only accept applicants from men that are 5'10 or taller? Even sperm banks have height requirements.

Instead of accepting things as they are, I would really love for there to be some sort of change. Like I said, for other physical things, people are shunned. I cannot put on my profile "big boobs only" or "skinny girls only." So why is it okay to discriminate against height?

I think I would be more okay if it wasn't blatantly acceptable in society. But it is. It is perfectly okay to rule people out based on how tall they are. That is the most depressing part.

Not "online dating is tough for short men, how can we improve that?" It is "online dating is tough for short men, so short men should stay offline."

March 27, 2015

I actually don't post on online dating sites things like "please be tall" or "must be 5'11". It's just not something I would do. I'm writing it on this site because it is a message board about dating and relating and specifically meant for such discussion. But anyway, about the "big boobs only" point, I would say that's more comparable to women saying "muscular guys only" or "muscular legs required"

Height is height and body parts are body parts. I wouldn't have any beef with a guy saying "I strongly prefer taller women" on his profile. Hell, even if a guy said he prefers big boobs, what is wrong with that?

People's profiles are judged by overall context, not a single preference stated. If one writes a really crass profile in general and has "big boobs only!" of course they are going to look like an a$$. But if one writes a decent one, that's well meaning and straight forward and says, in addition, "I also prefer women with big breasts. It's sorta my thing, haha" -- well what's wrong with that?

March 27, 2015

Height is height and body parts are body parts. I wouldn't have any beef with a guy saying "I strongly prefer taller women" on his profile. Hell, even if a guy said he prefers big boobs, what is wrong with that? [/Quote]

The comparison I'm making is that we are born with the genes we have. Some women are born flat chested, with surgery, they can change that. Just as short men can change their height (a little bit) with surgery. But both of those things, height and curves, are genetically influenced.

People's profiles are judged by overall context, not a single preference stated. If one writes a really crass profile in general and has "big boobs only!" of course they are going to look like an a$$. But if one writes a decent one, that's well meaning and straight forward and says, in addition, "I also prefer women with big breasts. It's sorta my thing, haha" -- well what's wrong with that?

I have not seen decent, well meaning profiles online. At least not on Tinder, which is what I started using.

Quite literally the profiles say what I mentioned. "6' or over," or "tall men only."

You are ignoring everything else about the person and basically just saying the only thing you're concerned about in your partner is that they are taller than you.

March 27, 2015

My issue with online - as both men and women have admitted here - is that it is no place for a shorter man.

Well, that sucks. So because I am short I have to eliminate one dating outlet from my life? I can only focus on meeting girls in the real world as opposed to the convenience of using online because of what my height is?

Did you also know that sperm banks only accept applicants from men that are 5'10 or taller? Even sperm banks have height requirements.

Instead of accepting things as they are, I would really love for there to be some sort of change. Like I said, for other physical things, people are shunned. I cannot put on my profile "big boobs only" or "skinny girls only." So why is it okay to discriminate against height?

I think I would be more okay if it wasn't blatantly acceptable in society. But it is. It is perfectly okay to rule people out based on how tall they are. That is the most depressing part.

Not "online dating is tough for short men, how can we improve that?" It is "online dating is tough for short men, so short men should stay offline."

I didn't know sperm banks had a height requirement? Why is this? Is it because they find when people pick from genetic attributes that they are looking for height is one of the most common attributes people look for and enough people don't select heights shorter than 5'10" that there isn't a need for this sperm?

It certainly isn't because shorter men are genetically inferrer. But it's stuff like this us average height or shorter height men see all the time that can certainly not be a confidence booster. For me I laugh it off when I see stuff like this online.

It doesn't effect my confidence because I would try just as hard to ask out a girl the same height as the last girl who dismissed me for being to short. It's not a deterrent to me. But it certainly is annoying when you get rejected due to your height.

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Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

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