Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

March 26, 2015

BOZG,

I was the one that tried way too hard to be nice. So I worked on self improvement

LOL so being nice is wrong? Its funny that you had to make a change from that and become something other than nice.

March 26, 2015

(I couldn't add this to the previous post so I add it now)

My shortest boyfriend was also the strongest. He could lift me up very easily and for a long time. And I thought it was fun that I was taller than him when I was wearing high heels. He liked it too. And I thought that his lack of complex about it was very sexy.

March 26, 2015

Being taller than her isnt good enough anymore for many women. A lot of them want a guy to be X amount of inches taller. Its no longer about how he treats her, or if its a nice healthy relationship. Its more so that he's subconsciously looked at as another accessory that matches perfectly with her, and the heels she is wearing.

Well guys do this too - at least I do sometimes.

Sometimes there's a girl where they seem nice but just wouldn't look quite right on your arm. I always chalk those up as matches where we would probably run into physical chemistry problems.

March 26, 2015

(I couldn't add this to the previous post so I add it now)

My shortest boyfriend was also the strongest. He could lift me up very easily and for a long time. And I thought it was fun that I was taller than him when I was wearing high heels. He liked it too. And I thought that his lack of complex about it was very sexy.

Haha.. short man syndrome. Some of the strongest power lifters I've associated with were 5'8' and under. But I've had the same mindset when I've dated a taller woman (6'1"-6'3"). It's very hot when she gets off on the fact that I don't let my height (5'11") deter me from still being confident with her. She rewards you with putting those long legs to good use. Haha

How tall are you?

Edited March 26, 2015 by fitnessfan365

March 26, 2015

My shortest boyfriend was also the strongest. He could lift me up very easily and for a long time.

And I thought that his lack of complex about it was very sexy.

I have a male friend right now that I totally want to have sex with. I won't, because I'm dating seriously and looking for love. We recently openly discussed our mutual attraction and agreed it's best we stay friends, given the circumstances.

Anyway, I've never measured, but he's a little shorter than me. I hardly even notice, though, because he's just a great guy, pretty buff and strong, and he has never even made a remark about it. He has commented on the fact that I'm tall and have long, sexy legs, which is cool But he's never compared himself to me disfavorably because he's shorter.

Every time we say good-bye now, he bear hugs me and picks me up off the ground. I love it and giggle like a girl every time He's just so manly and appealing in so many ways that I don't even think of him as a shorter guy. Just "sexy man".

So I guess the takeaway for men is to make the most of the body you've got, be confident and let your masculinity drive you, and you'll do fine.

March 26, 2015

Well... if I go by what you're saying... you're assuming that all older women have children already and are not interested in having more. I.e. that's definitely not my case.

So no, you don't believe in giving people a chance in my opinion.

Anyway, the point is we all have things we want and don't want.

I don't want a shorter guy, you don't want an older women. That's fair and okay. No hard feelings. As I said, just go for the ones who don't have a problem with it. That's what I try to do as well. I think you're pissed that certain girls you want won't give you a chance, but that's how life is... nothing you can do but accept it and go to the audience that's willing to take you. That's what we all do.

I see your point, but to me Age is a larger factor than height.

To me someone that much older than myself, I feel their could be compatibility issues. Also all of these women have children in their teens and are not looking for any more kids. I think that is the over ruling factor as to why I rule them out because I want to start my own family someday. It's more than just the age in it self that is causing me to rule them out.

Also, I believe more in giving people a chance to see if we have a connection, and can be happy together. I honestly don't care about height, weight and so on if we have a real connection and get along.

March 26, 2015

How tall are you?

I mentioned in a previous post that I'm 1.66 cm (or 5.4 ft)

March 26, 2015

LOL so being nice is wrong? Its funny that you had to make a change from that and become something other than nice.

It's not about being something other than nice. It's about being more than just "nice". Nice is too ambiguous a personality trait - it just means you're pleasant to be around. You need other character traits to complement being a nice person.

Regarding the topic, I've not known it in my life to be much of a dealbreaker, this only seems apparent on OLD sites and the internet in general. Most of the short guys I know do relatively well with women.

March 26, 2015

Ok, it is stupid bias I know, but let say if a woman is 200 pounds and post that she's 120, how would you feel when you see her in person? Or if she says she is 5 years younger to make you "give her a chance"?
I would say if the guy just do not put his height in his profile it is ok, but not to lie about it. Btw the MAIN reason why I usually skip e.g. the 5'8'' OLD profiles is that in fact the guys are usually 2-3 inches shorter than what they say.
Witty approach (initial messages etc) is enough to overcome the height bias (unless we're talking about extremes). Lying... at very least makes me suspicious what else in the profile of the guy is fake...

Good analogy. It does irritate men alot when women lie about their weight... which I suspect happens more than men lying about height.

The truth is that I personally never put anything in my profile that would discourage someone quality from hitting me up. Sure, some big women hit me up... but I don't mind because I would be legitimately willing to date them provided they fit the other qualities I care about. I have several times dated women that didn't even bother to post a profile picture and been pleasantly surprised.

As for how I feel when women lie to me... I've had it happen... and it really didn't bother me much. I know why they did it, and I know that some of the biggest liars I've ever met were very honest about their weight. So, I'm willing to give people a pass on things like this sometimes.

However, it is different for me because I'm not actively posting signs on my profile saying stuff like "No Fat Chicks"... unlike many women here who actively post "No Short Guys Allowed".

I'm tall myself, and I'm just a lot more attracted to men taller than me. I find all physical types attractive, but the one physical aspect that makes a big difference for me is height. I still have dated and will continue to date men my height and a little shorter, because physical attraction isn't everything.
I agree that online dating probably isn't the best venue for shorter guys. You'd probably have way better success approaching women in the wild.
So I guess you won't mind when women airbrush out the aspects of their physicality that men "disadvantage" them for, so they get that first chance to "overcome his bias"?

Look... this is just a really hard topic. Some guys are just not very tall. The official stance of most women is... "I will discriminate against you based on height, until you prove to me that you are awesome... but I'm not going to give you a chance to do that."

It strikes me as a silly way to approach dating, but I understand why women do this. It's essentially a negotiation tactic. More men need to realize this. It's just the way women try to get the best possible deal for themselves in the dating marketplace.

March 26, 2015

I have a male friend right now that I totally want to have sex with. I won't, because I'm dating seriously and looking for love. We recently openly discussed our mutual attraction and agreed it's best we stay friends, given the circumstances.

Anyway, I've never measured, but he's a little shorter than me. I hardly even notice, though, because he's just a great guy, pretty buff and strong, and he has never even made a remark about it. He has commented on the fact that I'm tall and have long, sexy legs, which is cool But he's never compared himself to me disfavorably because he's shorter.

Every time we say good-bye now, he bear hugs me and picks me up off the ground. I love it and giggle like a girl every time He's just so manly and appealing in so many ways that I don't even think of him as a shorter guy. Just "sexy man".

So I guess the takeaway for men is to make the most of the body you've got, be confident and let your masculinity drive you, and you'll do fine.

Hmmm...

You two get along great enough to where you're actually good friends and you're sexually attracted to each other. Why not have sex and date each other? Seems pretty obvious.

Reminds me of the fable of the overly religious man. A guy is drowning and wants God to save him. So when a boat comes by and the people offer to pull him aboard he refuses because he wants divine intervention. Then when he dies and goes to heaven, he asks God, "Why didn't you save me?" God's reply "I sent you a boat didn't I?" The moral being that people never pay attention to the obvious.

I mentioned in a previous post that I'm 1.66 cm (or 5.4 ft)

You're only 5'4"? Were you wearing 6 inch heels or something? A guy would have to be pretty short to be tinier than a 5'4" woman in heels.

March 26, 2015

LOL so being nice is wrong? Its funny that you had to make a change from that and become something other than nice.

Male, I addressed your post and had asked you some thought provoking questions. Would you be so kind as to respond to my post?

Or is the reason you have ignored it is because you are unable to answer my questions honestly?

FF, as far as your post regarding the 'beta' male, I guess I'm on the fence about that. I respect and am attracted to men who are nice, kind and considerate but who also balance that with masculinity and confidence.

.

March 26, 2015

FF, as far as your post regarding the 'beta' male, I guess I'm on the fence about that. I respect and am attracted to men who are nice, kind and considerate but who also balance that with masculinity and confidence.

We're on the same page girl. A genuine good guy that loves and respects women but that also has balls aka me. I don't envy what women go through though because it tends to be 100% grade A macho alpha douches or really weak nice super pleasers. There has to be a middle ground of Alpha and gentleman.

When I put "nice" in quotes it refers to the super-pleasing kiss asses that make excuses and secretly hate women. That's why he keeps switching off between bashing women one minute, and then quoting my posts trying to be a kiss ass to women on the forums. But he can try to make me look bad all he wants. Women see through his kiss ass behavior as bitterness and jealousy.

March 26, 2015

Well... if I go by what you're saying... you're assuming that all older women have children already and are not interested in having more. I.e. that's definitely not my case.

So no, you don't believe in giving people a chance in my opinion.

Anyway, the point is we all have things we want and don't want.

I don't want a shorter guy, you don't want an older women. That's fair and okay. No hard feelings. As I said, just go for the ones who don't have a problem with it. That's what I try to do as well. I think you're pissed that certain girls you want won't give you a chance, but that's how life is... nothing you can do but accept it and go to the audience that's willing to take you. That's what we all do.

I wasn't assuming that all older women have children and not interested in having more. I thought I chose my words carefully enough that of a the few older women who have recently made contact to me this holds true for them. They made it quite clear in the first few minutes of chatting that they are not looking for anymore kids.

I certainly know that wouldn't hold true for all older women.

And I didn't rule out these older women and reject them right away. I at lest chatted up with them for a few days before coming to my decision of dismissing them as an option for me.

I really think girls are quicker to dismiss a guy, especially with OLD than guys are to dismiss a girl.

I wouldn't say I'm pissed about girls rejecting me based on height, a little annoyed yes But I know there are girls out there that I will find where height isn't an issue.

And I think the biggest thing I learned hear in this thread is OLD is not best for men of average height. Women are quick to dismiss and hold higher standards. Women are more likely to not care a bout such a height difference and be fine with a guy who is just taller than her and not tower over her when you get to know each other first. Then height doesn't matter as much.

So I think I learned quite a bit here actually.

March 26, 2015

You have to understand we choose partners based on their ability to reach the top shelf in the supermarket.

March 26, 2015

You have to understand we choose partners based on their ability to reach the top shelf in the supermarket.

haha, I have no problem with that at 5'8";)

March 26, 2015

You're only 5'4"? Were you wearing 6 inch heels or something? A guy would have to be pretty short to be tinier than a 5'4" woman in heels.

No, I don't wear 6 inch heels. 3 inch at the most. My shortest ex was around 1.70 m (5.5 ft), pretty average here in Greece. But he had a strong build and he didn't seem delicate or tiny at all.

March 26, 2015

No, I don't wear 6 inch heels. 3 inch at the most. My shortest ex was around 1.70 m (5.5 ft), pretty average here in Greece. But he had a strong build and he didn't seem delicate or tiny at all.

I'm 5.5 ft and I'm 1.65 m, not 1.70.

March 26, 2015

You have to understand we choose partners based on their ability to reach the top shelf in the supermarket.

I have received more than one phone number after getting something from the top shelf for a woman.

March 26, 2015

I have received more than one phone number after getting something from the top shelf for a woman.

One time this woman was standing behind me with a single half gallon of ice cream. I had a full shopping cart. So I say "Melted ice cream is definitely no fun, so I won't make you wait thought all this" with a smile. She blushed, went ahead of me, and then proceeded to look back, flip her hair, and stress repeatedly how thankful she was. Then as she was leaving, she walked backwards to keep staring me down. One of the most blatant signs of interest I ever got.

I wasn't attracted her (she was like 90lbs soaking wet) so that's why I didn't get her number. But it was amazing to me that simple common courtesy could make a woman look at me like she wanted me to take her right there on the conveyer belt.

Edited March 26, 2015 by fitnessfan365

March 26, 2015

I wasn't attracted her (she was like 90lbs soaking wet) so that's why I didn't get her number. But it was amazing to me that simple common courtesy could make a woman look at me like she wanted me to take her right there on the conveyer belt.

It's a shame you didn't follow through. Conveyer belt sex would have been a top contender for my thread here.

March 26, 2015

She blushed, went ahead of me, and then proceeded to look back, flip her hair, and stress repeatedly how thankful she was. Then as she was leaving, she walked backwards to keep staring me down. One of the most blatant signs of interest I ever got.

I wasn't attracted her (she was like 90lbs soaking wet) so that's why I didn't get her number. But it was amazing to me that simple common courtesy could make a woman look at me like she wanted me to take her right there on the conveyer belt.

I'm sure it's more than how "courteous" you were to her as the reason she actually walked "backwards" to stare you down lol. You may be somewhat of a good looking chap.

.

March 26, 2015

From a female perspective of wanting a good mate, taller men:

1. Earn more money

2. Signifies better nutrition, thus healthier

3. Better nutrition for himself also suggests he would be able to provide better nutrition to her children

4. Are physically better able to defend the woman

5. Have a higher IQ

6. More likely to become president--20th century presidents average 6 ft. Bush jr was 6'0, Obama 6'1, Bush Sr and Clinton 6'2

Why don't women like bald men? missing teeth? bad skin? guys in wheelchairs? They all come down to signaling poor genetics or nutrition.

Height signals these factors even though they may not be relevant in affluent society, but go to impoverished India or Africa and you'll see growth stunted people due to poor nutrition. If a guy can't even get food for himself, how can he get food for an entire family?

March 26, 2015

^ Well, that's because OLD asks for your preferences, and just as most men won't say their preference is a tall fat girl, most women won't say theirs is a short bald guy. That doesn't mean there aren't exceptions out in the real world, because as you know, there are.

March 26, 2015

taller men "seem" to be better looking, make more money, are more virile and are seen as more successful overall. They also tend to be gentle giants cause no one ever messes with them.

March 26, 2015

There are certainly exceptions - I'm one of them. I'm a mere 4'11" myself, and while I have dated tall men in the past, I'm intentionally seeking out shorter men these days. It's too much of a strain on my neck to kiss a taller man - holding hands works better with a shorter man as well.

Keep looking, you'll find someone who appreciates your shorter height!

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Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

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