Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

March 26, 2015

I'm 5'9 so quite average. Never had any confidence issues about my height, nor have I been disqualified in the dating world for it, so take that for what it is. It's funny though when you hear women talk about confidence. That they'll date a shorter man so long as he has confidence. But when everywhere you go, you are bombarded with women saying taller men make them feel more feminine, that they are naturally attracted to taller men, and so on, you can understand why a shorter man may not be as confident. It's funny that the same group of people asking for confidence are the same ones taking part in destroying it.

Fact is women (just like men) are attracted to whatever they're atracted to. They can choose to date whoever they want.

This is interesting. While it's true, you can also make the case that what both men and women find attractive physically, is quite narrow. Right? What man isn't attracted to a woman with curves and a slim waist? What woman isn't attracted to a taller man? What then do the people who don't fit that mold do? Continue to lose out to the ones who do fit the mold?

March 26, 2015

I'm 5'9 so quite average. Never had any confidence issues about my height, nor have I been disqualified in the dating world for it, so take that for what it is. It's funny though when you hear women talk about confidence. That they'll date a shorter man so long as he has confidence. But when everywhere you go, you are bombarded with women saying taller men make them feel more feminine, that they are naturally attracted to taller men, and so on, you can understand why a shorter man may not be as confident. It's funny that the same group of people asking for confidence are the same ones taking part in destroying it.

This is interesting. While it's true, you can also make the case that what both men and women find attractive physically, is quite narrow. Right? What man isn't attracted to a woman with curves and a slim waist? What woman isn't attracted to a taller man? What then do the people who don't fit that mold do? Continue to lose out to the ones who do fit the mold?

Speaking of Confidence. I wonder if a lot it has to do with a girls confidence and insecurity. We are all brought up in a society that girls date taller guys and the taller guy is more attractive. I have found in many cases it's the girls insecurity about being taller than a guy in heels is what causes them to rule out dating that guy over what they are actually attracted too.

March 26, 2015

This is interesting. While it's true, you can also make the case that what both men and women find attractive physically, is quite narrow. Right? What man isn't attracted to a woman with curves and a slim waist? What woman isn't attracted to a taller man? What then do the people who don't fit that mold do? Continue to lose out to the ones who do fit the mold?

Of course not. They just need to be better then the tall ones in other ways. Be funnier, smarter, more charming and witty. Stop complaining about their height and just deal with what they have and maximize it.

March 26, 2015

Considering most Women are like 5'6 to 5'8 and most guys are at least 5'10 I don't see how its a problem..

Being taller than her isnt good enough anymore for many women. A lot of them want a guy to be X amount of inches taller. Its no longer about how he treats her, or if its a nice healthy relationship. Its more so that he's subconsciously looked at as another accessory that matches perfectly with her, and the heels she is wearing.

March 26, 2015

Speaking of Confidence. I wonder if a lot it has to do with a girls confidence and insecurity. We are all brought up in a society that girls date taller guys and the taller guy is more attractive. I have found in many cases it's the girls insecurity about being taller than a guy in heels is what causes them to rule out dating that guy over what they are actually attracted too.

I think every case is different. Yes, I would say for most women that are taller than average height for a woman, they feel they need a taller man because they already feel big, they want someone to make them feel smaller. But how then do you explain women who are 5'2 requesting the man must be 5'9 or even more? What is her insecurity?

But I do agree on a whole, women are more hung up about it than men in terms of what it looks like. What it looks like in pictures, what it looks like walking down the street. I'm sure there are men that are insecure, but I think it's more of them scared to ask out a taller woman for fear of rejection and not fear of "well what would it look like if she is taller than me?"

March 26, 2015

It is all about how it looks to others too.

Young women want to be seen as attractive and to be seen as attractive then you have to be seen to attract attractive guys; guys that other girls see as attractive.

Men do it all the time too; they want to be seen out with "hot" women as that elevates their status compared to other guys.

They may hang about with all sorts of women, hook up with all sorts too, but for real dating they mostly want "hot".

Shorter guys are not seen as top of the league, so young women don't want to be seen out with such guys, unless they are just a friend, or they are known to have other good qualities, ie be very funny, are exceptionally clever, have loads of money or be very handsome facially, etc.

Some young women though, are not so superficial in their choices of mate, and most sensible women and men grow out of that phase too.

March 26, 2015

most sensible women and men grow out of that phase too.

HA!! Thats what I thought too after I got divorced and entered the dating scene in my 40's. Women my age quickly proved me wrong, proving they had become more stuck up and superficial than I ever saw when I was younger.

March 26, 2015

I'm 5'9 so quite average. Never had any confidence issues about my height, nor have I been disqualified in the dating world for it, so take that for what it is. It's funny though when you hear women talk about confidence. That they'll date a shorter man so long as he has confidence. But when everywhere you go, you are bombarded with women saying taller men make them feel more feminine, that they are naturally attracted to taller men, and so on, you can understand why a shorter man may not be as confident. It's funny that the same group of people asking for confidence are the same ones taking part in destroying it.

That's a pretty cruel irony, isn't it?

This is interesting. While it's true, you can also make the case that what both men and women find attractive physically, is quite narrow. Right? What man isn't attracted to a woman with curves and a slim waist? What woman isn't attracted to a taller man? What then do the people who don't fit that mold do? Continue to lose out to the ones who do fit the mold?

They can try to fit the mold, or they can try widening it.

March 26, 2015

Ok, it is stupid bias I know, but let say if a woman is 200 pounds and post that she's 120, how would you feel when you see her in person? Or if she says she is 5 years younger to make you "give her a chance"?

I would say if the guy just do not put his height in his profile it is ok, but not to lie about it. Btw the MAIN reason why I usually skip e.g. the 5'8'' OLD profiles is that in fact the guys are usually 2-3 inches shorter than what they say.

Witty approach (initial messages etc) is enough to overcome the height bias (unless we're talking about extremes). Lying... at very least makes me suspicious what else in the profile of the guy is fake...

Seriously stop and think about what you are saying here. If every woman feels as you do... and most I believe do... Then you disadvantage or ignore men under 6', unless you get to know them. But you complain, if a guy lies to remove a disadvantage you put on him in the hopes he can get to know you and overcome your bias.

WTF Ladies? You have to realize how stupid this philosophy sounds? Not to say I don't understand why you do it...

March 26, 2015

I'm tall myself, and I'm just a lot more attracted to men taller than me. I find all physical types attractive, but the one physical aspect that makes a big difference for me is height. I still have dated and will continue to date men my height and a little shorter, because physical attraction isn't everything.

I agree that online dating probably isn't the best venue for shorter guys. You'd probably have way better success approaching women in the wild.

If every woman feels as you do... and most I believe do... Then you disadvantage or ignore men under 6', unless you get to know them. But you complain, if a guy lies to remove a disadvantage you put on him in the hopes he can get to know you and overcome your bias.

WTF Ladies? You have to realize how stupid this philosophy sounds? Not to say I don't understand why you do it...

So I guess you won't mind when women airbrush out the aspects of their physicality that men "disadvantage" them for, so they get that first chance to "overcome his bias"?

March 26, 2015

Btw the MAIN reason why I usually skip e.g. the 5'8'' OLD profiles is that in fact the guys are usually 2-3 inches shorter than what they say.

Do you all notice the pattern on this forum? Women admitting that they automatically dismiss large chunks of the male population, for the simple fact that they had a run in with a few bad apples.

That feels great to know you dismiss all the guys that are 5'8 just because a few lied. Because we all know that the taller guys never lie about anything ever.

As well as on another thread, where some women admitted that they dismiss ALL men that dont have kids, because "I dated a few childless men and they just dont understand what its like being a parent"

ALL OF THIS is exactly why its so hard for guys to get dates. Because of all these hidden secret assumptions and grudges that women hold, instead of giving each new guy a fresh chance at proving himself.

March 26, 2015

That's a pretty cruel irony, isn't it?

I think the irony lies in the fact that, for a group so harshly judged for looks (you're too fat, you're too skinny, your boobs are too small, your butt is too big, your hairstyle sucks), there would be a level of understanding and acceptance. "Let me look past physical flaws and get to the person inside, because I've been there, and it sucks."

And I'm sure that is the case sometimes. But certainly not online. Not from what I've seen.

March 26, 2015

ALL OF THIS is exactly why its so hard for guys to get dates. Because of all these hidden secret assumptions and grudges that women hold, instead of giving each new guy a fresh chance at proving himself.

I have actually seen this to hold true with women who are older. I'm 29 and get dismissed on assumptions other than height most often by girls 26 to 30 years old I meet online.

23 year old girls are less likely to rule based on assumptions, but I"m not really look for a girl quite that much younger than me. I wouldn't rule it out entirely though.

One thing I never have been able to figure out for the life of me though, is women 10 years or so older than me seem to like to contact me. Why do I attract the much older women, lol! So I guess it this theory doesn't always hold true. I wish girls my age would contact me first like the older women, but most younger girls expect the guy to make the first move. And I'm not really attracted to older women so I rule them out and don't even give them a chance.

March 26, 2015

True, it is in the human nature unfortunately. Men do exactly the same: e.g. see how many men comment that their dates use them for "free drinks". Is it generalization? Surely. Are men who dated a gold digger in the past weary that they'll get the same? Yes. Or how many 40s men filter only women under 35?

OLD relies on facts and numbers, yes. If you do not fit in the most desirable numbers in any category, there are PLENTY of options to compensate, especially for men who are more often initiating. But at least for me if they rely on a "white" lie in this early stage, it makes me suspicious and this is usually the deal breaker.

Btw, in OLD I experience a bias based on numbers/facts too. I used to put in the drinks section "never" (although I happen to have a glass on occasion), and guys that I've dated admitted that they were about to dismiss me because of that... All that I did was stop filling this section and expressing my drinking preferences in person if we go on a date.

Do you all notice the pattern on this forum? Women admitting that they automatically dismiss large chunks of the male population, for the simple fact that they had a run in with a few bad apples.

That feels great to know you dismiss all the guys that are 5'8 just because a few lied. Because we all know that the taller guys never lie about anything ever.

As well as on another thread, where some women admitted that they dismiss ALL men that dont have kids, because "I dated a few childless men and they just dont understand what its like being a parent"

ALL OF THIS is exactly why its so hard for guys to get dates. Because of all these hidden secret assumptions and grudges that women hold, instead of giving each new guy a fresh chance at proving himself.

March 26, 2015

And I'm not really attracted to older women so I rule them out and don't even give them a chance.

So why should women give you a chance, because you are not 6'?

We like what we like, no-one can force you to date older women and no-one can force women to date shorter men if they do not want to.

You may miss the love of your life by being so rigid, and so may those women, but everyone has the image of who they want to date, even if by doing so they may reject perfect matches.

March 26, 2015

In my 62 years, I have not known any women who turn their nose up at a 5'8" guy. If it's happening to you, it has to be more about your attitude or something else physically, and I'm not trying to be mean to you, but it has to be something else. My old crowd, the most popular guy was maybe 5'6". I am 5'7" and was taller than him. He had mostly tall girlfriends, too. No one even talked about his height. He was good looking in the face, dressed cool, talented and not the least bit self-conscious. Now he's old and bald and he's still popular, so much so that when he finally married after a lifetime of being successful with women, his wife made him not do social media because there's so many women trying to just talk to him.

I do agree there is a low height at which many women will reject you, that being under 5'5" or when you're more or less the height of a child, and I feel bad for those guys, but I've nonetheless seen a fair amount of them paired up with women who are taller. But a lot of women who aren't thin and/or don't have boobs also can't get guys, so short guys have it no worse than many women. It's sad so many people do go unwanted. It does seem like both sexes try to only get the top 10 percent in looks -- but that said, I still don't think the majority of women are rejecting a guy for being of medium/average height. I've just not seen it and I've lived a long time.

March 26, 2015

I feel shallow saying so, but I am simply not attracted to men under 5'11 and I am only 5'4.

It's not something I can control unfortunately. I have tried to date someone 5'9 who was caring, loving and whom I liked the companion. But I never fell for him, perhaps because I was not that attracted.

It's an issue for me. I am not proud about it. I tried to go against it and it doesn't work for me

I wonder if it's something related to biology that evolution didn't take care of yet.

My advice is not to fight against it and just go for women who don't mind it if you don't want to get hurt.

March 26, 2015

Do you all notice the pattern on this forum? Women admitting that they automatically dismiss large chunks of the male population, for the simple fact that they had a run in with a few bad apples.

That feels great to know you dismiss all the guys that are 5'8 just because a few lied. Because we all know that the taller guys never lie about anything ever.

As well as on another thread, where some women admitted that they dismiss ALL men that dont have kids, because "I dated a few childless men and they just dont understand what its like being a parent"

ALL OF THIS is exactly why its so hard for guys to get dates. Because of all these hidden secret assumptions and grudges that women hold, instead of giving each new guy a fresh chance at proving himself.

Haha.. Man you crack me up.

In one thread you're acting like the crusader of women's rights kissing up to them. Then in this thread you're bashing them. This is typical "nice guy" beta male behavior. Guys like you don't know how to relate to women on a romantic level. So you spend half your time kissing up and trying to be one of them. Then when you constantly get rejected or told that they just want to be friends, you bash women in general saying that it's "their fault" you can't get dates.

The reason why you can't get dates has nothing to do with your height or any other physical feature. It's your personality and how you handle yourself.

March 26, 2015

Lol just saw this. I am older... so the same way you are not into older, why do you expect women who are not into short men to give you a chance? It is what it is. You can't force yourself to like older and I can't force myself to like younger.

Go for girls who accept you for who you are and stop stressing about the ones who are not attracted to short men.

And I'm not really attracted to older women so I rule them out and don't even give them a chance.

March 26, 2015

In my 62 years, I have not known any women who turn their nose up at a 5'8" guy. If it's happening to you, it has to be more about your attitude or something else physically, and I'm not trying to be mean to you, but it has to be something else. My old crowd, the most popular guy was maybe 5'6". I am 5'7" and was taller than him. He had mostly tall girlfriends, too. No one even talked about his height. He was good looking in the face, dressed cool, talented and not the least bit self-conscious. Now he's old and bald and he's still popular, so much so that when he finally married after a lifetime of being successful with women, his wife made him not do social media because there's so many women trying to just talk to him.

I do agree there is a low height at which many women will reject you, that being under 5'5" or when you're more or less the height of a child, and I feel bad for those guys, but I've nonetheless seen a fair amount of them paired up with women who are taller. But a lot of women who aren't thin and/or don't have boobs also can't get guys, so short guys have it no worse than many women. It's sad so many people do go unwanted. It does seem like both sexes try to only get the top 10 percent in looks -- but that said, I still don't think the majority of women are rejecting a guy for being of medium/average height. I've just not seen it and I've lived a long time.

I think it has more to do with Online Dating. How could I be rejected for my attitude if I have never met the girl, spoken with her or even get to have a conversation with her.

Outside of OLD, I have only really been rejected based on height twice. But with that being said still all my girlfriends have been between 4'11" and 5'3". But I think that happened more because when I was single and looking it was only the shorter girls available, and the taller were in relationships at the time.

I was also taller than ever girl in my graduating class from high school and really didn't know any taller girls until college.

Right when I got out of college I did retail management for a couple years until I finally was able to land a job in my field. And one of our employees was a 18 year old guy who was like 4'11" and he was a real ladies man. He had all the girls hanging all over him and had a lot of hookups. We had to constantly speak to him about his girls hanging out at his register while he's supposed to be cashiering. And being 4'11" every girl towered over him, lol! So I know short guys can get the girls. But these were all girls from work or his school. I heard him talking one night that he could never land a single girl online.

So that once again shows that OLD is not necessarily a good place to pick up girls, especially if you are less than 6'0".

March 26, 2015

I feel shallow saying so, but I am simply not attracted to men under 5'11 and I am only 5'4.

It's not something I can control unfortunately. I have tried to date someone 5'9 who was caring, loving and whom I liked the companion. But I never fell for him, perhaps because I was not that attracted.

It's an issue for me. I am not proud about it. I tried to go against it and it doesn't work for me

I wonder if it's something related to biology that evolution didn't take care of yet.

My advice is not to fight against it and just go for women who don't mind it if you don't want to get hurt.

If that were the case, all women would be in accordance. That's not the case. And I do believe you can choose what you're attracted to.

Peoples' tastes (at least in personality) change all time as we grow older and certain traits become more important than others. As well as people who didn't feel an initial spark with their partner but gave them a chance and ended up falling in love.

Attraction can be controlled, in my opinion.

March 26, 2015

HA!! Thats what I thought too after I got divorced and entered the dating scene in my 40's. Women my age quickly proved me wrong, proving they had become more stuck up and superficial than I ever saw when I was younger.

So, are you saying that you'd date an overweight woman, a woman who does not have an appealing waist to hip ratio (apple shaped), a flat chested woman or a woman who has any other physical feature that you're not sexually attracted to?

C'mon now, be honest. You're ragging on women because a lot of us like tall men - when, by the same token, you'd only date a woman that has physical characteristics that YOU are physically and sexually attracted to.

Why rag on women who like tall men and call them superficial and stuck up? Why don't you, the OP and every other short guy just accept that women like what they like, and that a lot of them are attracted to tall men, for whatever their reasons are - the same exact way that men like what they like and that a lot of them are attracted to women who have big breasts, tiny waists and a J-Lo butt, for whatever their reasons are.

.

March 26, 2015

Lol just saw this. I am older... so the same way you are not into older, why do you expect women who are not into short men to give you a chance? It is what it is. You can't force yourself to like older and I can't force myself to like younger.

Go for girls who accept you for who you are and stop stressing about the ones who are not attracted to short men.

I see your point, but to me Age is a larger factor than height.

To me someone that much older than myself, I feel their could be compatibility issues. Also all of these women have children in their teens and are not looking for any more kids. I think that is the over ruling factor as to why I rule them out because I want to start my own family someday. It's more than just the age in it self that is causing me to rule them out.

Also, I believe more in giving people a chance to see if we have a connection, and can be happy together. I honestly don't care about height, weight and so on if we have a real connection and get along.

March 26, 2015

BOZG,

"beta" male is entertaining. In the other thread he was acting like a crusader of women's rights. Then in this thread he is bashing them. Nice guys do this all the time. They can't relate to women romantically, so they try to be a super pleasing kiss ass to make women like them. Then when they get rejected or the "friends" speech, they make excuses on why women are to blame for them not dating.

I used to be just like him when I was younger. The difference is that I actually accepted responsibility for my actions. I realized that I was the one always staring never approaching women blaming the "a$4holes". I was the one that tried way too hard to be nice. So I worked on self improvement and took charge of my own life instead of making excuses. But the majority of nice guys out there aren't willing to take a hard look at themselves. Hence why they keep having such a hard time with women.

Edited March 26, 2015 by fitnessfan365

March 26, 2015

I currently like someone around my height (I'm 166 cm, 5.4 ft I think?). I don't care. He has a masculine physique and posture and that's more attractive.

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Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

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